If I can be honest with you for just a moment (I can be honest, right?), sometimes I find myself examining the type of wife, daughter, mother, sister, and friend that I am, compared to the type of wife, daughter, mother, sister, and friend I ideally want to be. Lately, I’ve been feeling a sense of guilt as I measure up to my own expectations for myself and having an awareness of how I fall short each day. Perhaps my expectations for myself are unrealistic to begin with; but I can’t shake this feeling of inadequacy as I search for significance on a deeper level of how to best love those around me including myself.
In a tense conversation with my husband this last weekend, I made the decision to act immaturely and selfishly. The only thing that came of this conversation was bruised egos and wounded hearts. As I reflected on the choice of words I used to communicate my frustration, I felt a deep sense of shame because I know how powerful our words can be and the words I chose were not consistent with who I am. Words can build people up and tear them down, and this weekend I chose to use my words to tear my husband down.
Today, I don’t have a warm-fuzzy story to share with you. Instead I offer you a glimpse and confession of the real me – a wife, daughter, mother, sister, and friend who screws up sometimes and hurts people in the process.
A couple weeks ago, my husband made me an incredible healthy Vanilla Banana Smoothie. I would like to share his recipe with you because if you ever find yourself feeling like I do right now, this smoothie makes a great peace offering. As a bonus, kids love it too.