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Tell us what you think.
Selected submissions will be posted here, so check back regularly.
11/12/03
Major Todd Pisarski
Awesome! Nominate for some type of an award.
Major Todd Pisarski
Asst Prof of Military Science and Leadership
Bowling Green State University
11/12/03
LTC Wayne Mollhoff
Ft Bliss, TX
Tracy
Thanks so much for your film. Although it brought back a lot of bad memories of my tour ('68-'69), it also showed the impact it still has on so many of us. I just spent a couple of days volunteering at a traveling replica of THE WALL. Helping people find "their" names, answer questions, help make rubbings, etc. Helping them helped me, as I suspect doing your film helped you, deal with emotions too-long suppressed. I was particularly struck by people's raw emotions at finding the name of long-dead classmate or boyfriend on the WALL. Things like that just don't go away by trying to forget them, and seem to diminish to more manageable proportions only by bringing them to the surface and dealing with them. Again, thanks for sharing. You've touched and helped many more than you know.
11/12/03
Timothy Seo
Alexandria, VA
i was deeply touched by your film. last night, i was flipping through channels and "stumbled" upon your story. i felt in a very real way your deep sense of emptiness and grief about not knowing your father... it was very courageous of you to make yourself and your mother so vulnerable by exposing the hurts and griefs that you both carry. this film can say many things - i suppose lots of people will read into its significance, but the sense i got from you is that you just wanted know who your father was, what he was like, rather than make a point. for that, i say bravo, and well done.
11/12/03
Richard Alvarez
Norwalk, California
Yesterday evening I opted to watch your father's story versus the Diane Sawyer interview with Private Jessica Lynch. I'm glad I did. From the moment I began watching the film I felt an immediate connection to the story. The persistence to find out the truth about your father was just amazing. Every emotion captured by all people involved in providing you with details about your father overwhelmed me. I was literally weeping in front of the television.
My own father was too young to serve in Vietnam at the time. My mother and father separated before I turned a year old. I located some letters my father had addressed to my mother while I was still an infant. At age 11 I picked up a phone book and began searching for my father. I was successful in locating my father. We've never been able to build a father -son relationship. I'm at least at peace with myself knowing I made every effort to know him.
I have a five year old daughter of my own and am proud to say I've built a healthy,strong relationship with her. I'm grateful to your father and the countless other veterans who sacrificed their lives to allow me the freedom to spend time with my family. I commend you for making this film.
I had the great opportunity to visit the wall in Washington,D.C. about five months after the 9/11 attacks. I'll be returning soon to visit Donald Gregg Droz. I almost feel like he was a friend after seeing your film. I'll pay my respects to him next time I visit. Thank you Tracy for showing us all your strength.
11/12/03
Denise Monterosa
Santa Fe Springs, CA.
I watched this film last night (11/11/03) and could not turn the tv off despite how tired I was! I have not lost anyone to war and was born not long after everything had finished. But I do know the experience of loss, and I could tell how genuine the feelings were. I just wanted to say that I thought the images shown, and the way the story was told was so honest and pure. You were bold but not in a disrespectful way and it was refreshing, I hope that your journey ends in happy memories and that you are able to count your blessings for having a wonderful family who was willing (maybe reluctantly) to be open, even if after all this time.
11/12/03
Anneliese Dickman
Wauwatosa, WI
This could be my story, although I am still in the middle of discovering it. My father went MIA one month after my birth in 1972 and was declared KIA 8 months later. My mother has never spoken to me about how she felt when she became a widowed single mother. All my life I have refrained from asking her my thousands of questions out of respect for her grief, her survival skills, and my stepfather. However, when I had a baby two years ago, my need to know about my father became overwhelming. I see so much of my husband in my son--it pains me not to know what part of me, of my persona, comes from my father. Since then I have been contacted by a soldier friend of my father's, who was with him the day he got the call from the Red Cross announcing my birth. I was never even sure he had received the news of my birth, and so the telling of his reaction has given me a small glimpse into my parents' relationship and my father's personality. One day I will be able to talk to my mother abou t my father. As a mo her, I now completely understand how she needed to get beyond her heartache in order to raise me. That understanding gives me patience and I can wait until she is ready to unburden herself. In the meantime, I leave photos of my graduations, my wedding, my son, my life at the Wall and hope my milestones are seen and understood by other children of Vietnam victims. We are a generation of fatherless children and have each learned to live with the everpresent shadows of our mothers' grief and our fathers' ghosts. That our current political situation is at risk of creating another such generation hurts me more than I can say.
11/12/03
Mark McKee
Albuquerque, NM
Tracy,
Bravo Zulu.
11/12/03
Lockport, New York
Like many of the people who watched your documentary, I too am a war orphan. My father, who was by all accounts a wonderful husband and father, died in Viet Nam and left my mother to raise nine children alone in his hometown of Philadelphia. The film, though beautifully made, was difficult for me to watch. But not for the reasons you would assume.
I found the film ressurected a dead hero and ignored a living one. The man who would take in a widow and her three year old daughter and claim them as his own is very much a hero in his own right. The mother and daughter came off as ungrateful with regards to the life they had been blessed with. To devote so much energy to fantasizing about how things would have turned out and how much better your life would have been if your father had lived is the height of disrespect to the man in your life and borders on boorishness.
I believe I understand her grief. It took me over 20 years to come to terms with the death of my father and the impact it had on my moth er and the lives of her children. But, Tracy didn't really know her father. He had the advantage of dying before all aspects of his personality, the good, the bad and the unspeakable were laid bare to the world and either rejected or accepted by the ones he loved. I felt her stepfahter was dismissed for not being "real" as mother and daughter ventured off to Viet Nam to claim their true love, their fallen hero.
To any of my fellow war orphans who found the film to be a source of healing and rememberance, I'm happy for you. That war has crippled a lot of wonderful people and I wish you the best.
11/12/03
Robert
Greenville, SC
My father died in 1966. I was 6 years old. He did not die in the war, but the impact was just the same. It was not until I was an adult that I realized the full extent of the loss. Watching the film made me realize that I, like Tracy, have spent much of my life on a quest to know my father, and to construct an image of him from the remnants of his life. The stories, the photo albums, the letters, and even the old pair of socks were all poignant reminders of my own experiences.
11/12/03
paul paskalides
That was one of the most moving shows i have ever seen!! What a courageous effort!!
11/12/03
Sharon
Dear Tracy-what a lovely moving story. I found myself in tears as the show progressed. Whether you realize it or not, you have started a healing process of all those people whose lives had been touched by that war. You have opened the doors of communitcation that people have been unable to speak about for so long. After viewing the film, I too, had a good understanding of who your father was and why you are so very proud of him. Please don't stop with just this film I'm sure you have many other stories to tell. God Bless you and all those Vet's.
11/12/03
Zoe Ann Seymour
St. John, IN
I was lucky enough to watch part of this extremely moving film that Tracy brought to life. I cried, the kind of cry that only happens when you feel something so deeply, that the tears have to come to release the emotion.
I was born in the early sixties and did not experience the war like so many other families. My dad was home -- my uncles were home -- for whatever reason -- the year people are born, when the draft was issued, etc. -- our close family members were not chosen.
What I do remember though is every night at 5:30pm while we ate dinner, we would have the b/w TV on at the kitchen table and I would hear the phrase "# American soliders killed today in blah blah in Vietnam." Then the footage of the swampy landscape with the young service men's sweaty dirty faces expressionless on the tv.
My parents didn't understand -- they knew people who were there -- ofcourse, I didn't understand because I did not have enough experience yet, but I somehow instinctively knew that this was not what was su pposed to be happening.
Now that I am an adult and have been fortunate to meet a variety of people throughout my journey, some of my friends were in Vietnam -- however, few will discuss this period in their lives -- not that fighting in a war is something that is talked about like the latest fashion trend --but after watching Tracy's film I think I have a deeper understanding of why so many what to say "it was a long time ago."
Tracy thank you for sharing your story with so many of us. It was truly an enlightening experience to watch this film.
11/12/03
Calista Harlow
Dallas, Texas
My father was killed in action on March 31, 1970 in Vietnam. I was 6 months old. My father never got to see me or hold me. I have never found the words to explain such an emptiness. To love and miss someone so much that I never knew. Tracy I applaud you and am so proud of you. You say things in your film that I have been saying to myself for 34 years. Things that I believe only sons and daughters of those lost in that war can truly understand. I have always felt like this story (our story) needed to be told and I am so glad that you did. Saying Thank You feels really inadequate right now.
11/12/03
Jeffrey Willius
St. Paul MN
I'm so glad my channel surfing last night washed me up on "Be Good, Smile Pretty"! What a thoughtful tribute to the father and Vietnam casualty, Mr. Droz; what an apt marking of Veterans' Day; what a genuine gift to viewers from Ms. Droz Dragos and her family. I was moved both by the story and by the simultaneous generosity and restraint by which it was told.
11/12/03
Larry C.
Delaware, Ohio
Wonderful examination of the lasting pain of the Vietnam War. Made Veteran's Day mean something as for many years it seemed an excuse for mattress and appliance sales. As the troops in Iraq face danger everyday, it is good to examine the sacrifice of America's Armed Forced.
The film should be praised for its pull no punches approach to what clearly were unresolved wounds that have been opened for year.
The brief scene with John Kerry was also memorable. While not a fan of his politics, I thought his expression of grief so many years later was quite a commentary on the memory of his fallen comrade.
Well done. Independent Lens is becoming my favorite show.
11/12/03
Gina
New York, NY
"Be Good, Smile Pretty" offers a sense of understanding of Tracy's desire to learn as much as possible about her father. I found myself not wanting the film to end. I realized my interest in Don's life paled in comparison to Tracy's lifelong desire to discover her father. Tracy's film is a wonderful tribute to her father which inspires inquisition and perseverance. It is a reminder to all children of Vietnam Vets, like myself, that the memory of victims and survivors of the war must be discovered, appreciated and preserved.
11/12/03
Naomi Durant
Lindsborg, KS
I was really moved by this film. My husband remembers being close to being called up to go to Vietnam, but then the war ended. We try to watch everything we can about Vietnam so we can appreciate even more that he didn't have to go.
We saw that Randy Mason was involved in this production. We moved from Kansas City 3 years ago and just loved all the productions that Randy Mason did for the local public television station there (Rare Visions and Roadside Revelations, etc.). He is an excellent producer. I know he is part of the reason this film was so well done.
Thanks so much for a wonderfully touching lens into the life of a daughter who lost her father in Vietnam. I was moved to tears several times.
11/12/03
Jason Branch
Portland Oregon
I wanted to state that I was extremely moved by the film. I want Tracy and her mother know that my heart goes out to them. My dad served in Vietnam too. He did return but I know he has a lot buried inside of him too like Tracy's mom. I've learned it will come out slowly with time. I want Tracy and her mother also to know that to this date I've served 6 years in the military as a medic. Recently in Afghanistan. I serve for those that have gone to war, for those that have died in war, and especially those who lives were lost, which some think it was a waste. I owe this to my father, to people of this country and especially for those like Tracy and her mother. Your father will never be forgotten.
THank you for making this film and helping people understand the pain felt with war.
11/12/03
Chuck Wilkinson
Mesa AZ
Tracy
I was born in 1943, served two tours in Vietnam '65 & '69. In 65 I was enlisted; in 69 I returned as a new Infantry Officer, Captain, knowing I would command an infantry company in combat. That came true: "D" Co, 1/505th, 3rd Bde, 82 Abn. I had a premonition I would die in combat. I was determined to do so in a way that garner a Medal of Honor for actions in combat and thus possibly earn a position for my son in one our of nation's military academies. He was then 4 yrs old. I had a wise Field First Sgt who held me in check and taught me the real meaning of command. It strike's me how "lucky" I am the premonition did not come true; I am very close to all three of my children (my youngest, Lisa, was born in Jan '70 late in my tour) and they are proud of me, as I am proud and have no regrets/bad memories, of the service I gave while serving in Vietnam. Your documentary vididly demonstrated for me how my children would have felt if that premonition had come true.
Thanks and best of luck.
11/12/03
Viron N. Fessler
Gaston, Oregon
Tracy, (Mom, Family & Friends); as an "At home Dad" for my two girls I want to thank you for sharing the loss of your Father. I fall into an age group (@46) that was fortunately spared the actual experience in Vietnam, though I'll always remember the response to my eighth grade teacher's questioning my lack of enthusiasm for "Career Education." "It looks like I'm going to Vietnam, if I get back, I'll consider a career." Those in my class who overheard went silent, the Teacher as well, but that heartfelt statement may have been the first adult proclamation of my life.
My girls are safe in bed, my wife too, that worked out well because I found myself fighting back tears for almost an hour. I broke down as you put your initials under your Dad's. Barely recovered, I wanted to thank you from "my perspective."
My best friend, and cousin drown at age 17, I rarely see his only sister's Son, but when I do I make it a point to ask if he has any questions about his Uncle. It's uncomfortable fo r both of us, but I will take away from your story the feeling that it's "OK" to ask this of him. Though this was "only" an Uncle he never knew, he was as talented a person as I've ever met and, like your Father, greatly missed my all who knew him.
You have a Pretty Smile, feel free to use it! (Mom too!)
Sincerely,
Viron Fessler, Gaston, Oregon.
11/12/03
An hour after watching BE GOOD, SMILE PRETTY on KCET, I still find the words stuck in my throat to even discuss Tracy Droz Tragos's honest, compelling, and bittersweet journey to find out about her father. I would like to, even if inept at this time, say thank you for being a part of bringing this documentary to those of us effected by the Vietnam War, and our children, who may now understand through Tracy's "eye", that "secrets" will always undermine healing, and that my generation still feels deeply about those things from Vietnam that were never addressed or aired.
I am engaged now to a man who did four tours in Vietnam and is still on active duty, speaking to men in the war of this Veteran's Day's true meaning. He, being a truly honorable man, will never speak of his medals or what he did there, saying only that the true heroes were "left" there.
Lt. JG Druz is that hero, whose eyes and smile match that of his daughter's. As he pushed to have another take his place so he could R&R to hold his baby daughter, Tracy "pushed" through to find her truth, and in that, her mother was changed as were all of the rest of us who were invited into her journey.
11/12/03
Maria (Gentemann) Rice
Portland, Oregon
A wonderfully true film from a child born in the United States during the war. Being a child born of the war I felt the heartbreak and need to learn more. Even though I came from the opposite side of the war I understand this film. Luckily, my father was able to return with my mother, sister and I back to the United States. But did he really return? I feel a lot of his soul was left back in Vietnam. Seeing the film tonight allowed me to see that other men were griefing in the same way my father has and still does. What can it take to help these men and women to heal? Will they ever heal? And more so how do I heal? This film touched my soul and I thank Pbs for airing it. Thank you Tracy for making it. Love to your soul and to all those around.
11/12/03
Kendra Walker-Reyes
Aliso Viejo, CA
As I watched your beautiful documentary it brought tears to my eyes. I lost my father in the vietnam war when I was 5 yrs old. He is still listed as MIA and his case is presently being investigated as to what exactly happened to him. He was a captain in the airforce and his plane was seen shot down into waters not to far from shore in a small fishing village. It has been 35 years since he was missing and I still long to know what happened to him for some closure. I would enjoy to contact you or you to me to chat a bit. God Bless, Kendra
11/12/03
Geoffrey Donne
Northridge, California
Tracy,
As an independant filmmaker, I wish to salute you on all the relevant levels.
The personal...few will ever know the courage, stamina and awesome, intimate power it took to make this nearly perfect piece of art. I thank you for your generosity of spirit, and your willingness to share your heart, and the hearts of those you touch and love.
The professional...
This is the art of filmmaking at its zienith. This films simple honesty, gentle yet thundering, merciless power will stun even the most jaded viewer. I believe the ultimate goal of film is the power to move, to bring a pause in the day to day bustle of our self centered lives, to generate impactful remeberance, to provoke thought and discussion...and maybe, in a rare case such as this, to effect change.
Your unquestionable victory is one all true storytellers must stand up and cheer for.
Finally, spiritually...
Your gift to all of us was a tremendous gift to the world. Your illuminating and unflinching eye looked into w hat it is to be human, at our very worst, and best...the force you generated and tirelessly struggled to send out into the world, I believe, was felt by many, but most especially, by your father, who now, I suspect, knows his daughter like he never dreamed he would. What a perfect Veteran's Day you made for him, and for all of us lucky enough to share in your remarkable achievement...
Warmly,
Geoffrey Donne
Artist on the Attack Productions
www.theattack.com
11/12/03
Pam Sheldon
Denver, CO
Dear Tracy--
I just finished watching your beautiful documentary this evening, and my heart is full of gratitude to you for sharing your story--actually many people's stories of how their lives were touched by your father and the beauty and wonderful nuttiness of his character. It was heart-wrenching in many ways--very difficult--but it is also a beautiful treasure trove of love--the love felt in so many hearts for your father and between and among those who knew him and remember him and cherish him.
I was wondering if you know of or have read the book "Long Time Passing" by Myra MacPherson. You might find it a companion piece to your film as you share it especially with students. After reading it years ago, I had some of the same feelings that I have tonight--that the consequences of war ripple outward from battlefields in ways that we often ignore--the pain and suffering does not stop with soldiers and civilians wounded and killed at the flash point. It touches grandparents, mothers and fathers, wives and husbands, daughters and sons, families, neighbors, friends, comrades in arms, doctors, nurses, medics--every heart that wanted them to live. We need to examine deeply the consequences of war, to listen and to face honestly the answers we hear in our hearts.
Thank you again so much for being willing to share your journey with us, and for all those in your film who were so courageous, so open, so honest in sharing a very deep and profound part of their individual lives--that they have known and continue to treasure this man, Don Droz, who is your father. A man who is precious now to us through you.
a story that
11/12/03
Denver, CO
Not to demean the personal importance of the story to Ms. Tragos and her mother, the presentation seemed overly long and intermittently tedious. It was as though it was a curiosity from a well-to-do northern California suburb where grief can be suppressed for thirty years. This probably reflects my context, however. I work in a VA hospital where such stories are commonplace.
11/12/03
Ken Jacobi
Yuma Az
Thankyou for helping us remember those who never came back. I know we can never know exactly how you and your mother feel,,,but you brought us all much closer to knowing what the rest of us suspected...WAR IS HELL! We should never risk even one American life unless we have no other choice. Right now Im not so sure about Iraq...Im pretty sure its not worth even one of our finest boys. Look how long it takes to heal things. Some things can never be healed,,,even with time.
I thank you again,,,hopefully peace will be yours.
Ken Jacobi
Yuma Arizona
11/12/03
Jim Van Fossen
Missoula, Montana
Thank you Tracy for providing such a moving experience for me with "Be Good, Smile Pretty" tonight on PBS. I am a VietNam era Navy veteran and I was teary eyed during the entire film. My 16 year old son walked by the tv and asked why I was crying. I think I was crying for Tracy's missed relationship with her father, for the thousands of Tracys on both sides that never had the experience of knowing their father, for the sacrafices people make for beliefs and freedoms and causes and because they are asked and told to serve. God bless Tracy and her mother and all of Don's family and all of the those who have lost family members in military action.
11/12/03
Heather Brown
Cincinnati, OH
I just wanted to thank Tracy Tragos for her amazing film! it resonated with me on so many levels. It reminded me of the importance of family, the importance to remember the past and keep it alive throught the sharing of memories. This film speaks of so many universal themes, including love, family and war and the honesty and compassion of this film is truly a gift to anyone who sees it.
Thank you!
11/12/03
Mai Linh Nguyen
Houston TX
I just finished watching "Be Good, Smile Pretty" and I just cried throughout most of the film for your family's heartbreaking loss. Such loss and such a painful, overwhelming experience from so many different perspectives. I was born in Saigon a couple of years after you. My family fled in April 1975. Fortunately, both of my parents are still alive. I feel loss over having to leave my country and my family--we had to leave my grandmother and other family members behind. Even though I was baby when we left, I remember leaving. Vietnam is both familiar and foreign to me. I have not been back yet, although eventually, I will make that journey.
I found the portrayl of your journey very moving. I am glad that you chose the medium that you did to convey your story, and I hope many people get a chance to see your film.
Warmest Regards,
Mai Linh Nguyen
11/12/03
Cindy Crawford
San Antonio, Texas
Hello, my name is Cindy Crawford, and I live in San Antonio, Texas. I don't regularly watch PBS, but tonight I was changing the channel, and the story which they had on caught my attention. It was already about 20 minutes into the film, but I kept it on the channel, and began to watch. I personally do not have any relatives, that I know of that were in Vietnam, or killed there, but I was touched by Tracy's story of her father,and wanting to know him although he was gone.Shortly after I began watching I was in tears, it was a very thought provoking film, you were able to connect with everyones feelings about her Dad and what had happened.I thought it was beautifully done, she deserves the award for best film. I know people that have put memories that are too painful to think about away, and from the film you can see everyones perspective on how they dealt with the situation, I feel that although it is painful to deal with all of those emotions,you need to grieve as it is part of the heal ing process,but every ne also does that in their own way. In the film,you see it from all sides, different memories.I think it is so hard for some veterans to speak of Vietnam because that was a very painful time, and sometimes it takes many years to be able to. Sometimes when it is something so horrible they think it is better to suppress it until they are ready to properly deal with it. I believe that widows of men who were in Vietnam have difficulty grieving because they had so much happiness, and when they lose someone they love so tragically and suddenly,it is so hard because they never got a chance to say goodbye, and that is extremely hard to deal with. In the film you can see how much Tracy's parents loved each other, and how much her mother still cares for her father, that is a wonderful.Even though her father lost his life over ther, he knew he was loved, and in the hereafter they will all get the chance to once again see each other, and there will be new memories to make. I was just extremely intr igued by the film, it was wonderful. I plan to watch more of IndependentLens on PBS from now on.
Sincerely, Cindy Crawford, San Antonio, Texas
11/12/03
M. J. McMullen
Nashville,Tennessee
Thank you , that took guts and your father would have been proud...It indeed was a comfort to know...I was very fortunate to return home after my stint with the Cav over there.. Have often wondered and prayed for those left behind...I wish both of you well.
11/12/03
Frank Augustiny
Austin, TX
I was greatly moved by the film. Because it was done so well I think I have in some small way, a sense of the awful pain that the family has had to endure for all of these years. I hope it has served to somehow be a cathartic experience for them and for all of the viewers who experienced similiar losses. I was struck by the ever-present, undiminishing pain that never seems to lessen. My gratitude for sharing and wishing the family peace and the strength to go on.
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