 |
|
|
|
Tell us what you think.
Selected submissions will be posted here, so check back regularly.
11/12/03
Andrew Barlow
Austin, TX
When my wife & I finished watching the documentary in its entirety tonight, we turned off the TV and sat in stunned silence at its impact. It was at once an exquisite achievement in the art of film-making, a window into a pivotal time in our nation's history, a reflection of the timeless perils of man's unwavering tendency to wage war and a brutally honest portrayal of loss, grief, discovery and healing. It impacted me deeply as a father of three children, giving me pause to consider the incredible responsibility and gift that is fatherhood. Thank you for your honesty, your persistence, your thoroughness and your art. A film-maker of your talents no doubt has more projects in the offing, but, should you never again lens a film, you will have already completed a rich and fruitful career as an artist.
11/12/03
I was channel surfing just before turning off the TV when I came across this program. I started to think about an uncle, a VietNam vet, who is my mother's brother. Due to other factors in my family's history, relationships had broken down and I have not seen this uncle in almost thirty years. On the occassions when the subject of Viet Nam would come up my mother would mention a few stories but would also add that he never spoke much about it and she would end it with a comment about the insensitivity and dismissive attitude of their parents regarding my uncle's experiences there. They were tough hard people and thought that you don't expect sympathy for just doing your job.
I was touched by this documentary and I will find it difficult to shrug off the reports of Iraqi war dead after watching it. I find it difficult to write this as one of the veterans interviewed in this film is my uncle. I'm just stunned now from watching the film. I have always felt a huge sense of sadness and loss when I thought about my family. Watching my uncle's grief in this film has answered a few of questions nobody has been able to put into words for thirty years.
11/12/03
Michael Hoffman
Greenfield, Wisconsin
I just finished watching your film and admit willingly that I had to wipe my eyes more than once during the film. My dad received his orders for Viet Nam five days after I was born, and was stationed at Cat Lo, Viet Nam in Coastal Division 13 from February 1968 to March 1969. He was lucky enough to make it home. While he was there, he took thousands of pictures, so for the first few years after he returned, we must have watched his slide presentations dozens of times as he tried to reconcile with his memories and mourn for those who died. In fact, that is some of my earliest memories as a child, seeing the pictures of the MeKong Delta, the blueness of the sky and water with young men dressed in cutoffs and flak jackets on Swift boats. My dad lost a good friend on the 42 boat at the Bo De River on Sept 7, 1968, and he never talked about him or his death until we visited the travelling WALL when it came through our town in the summer of 1996. War certainly brings with it a heavy pri ce, not just in lives lost, but in the memories of those who survived it and for the families who endure the pain of living with their loved one's trauma and pray for their healing. Thank you for making this film, its important for our nation to know and recognize the courage, valor, and sacrifice of her Brown Water Sailors.
11/12/03
Amazing story. The emotions that surface, the grief that bubbles to the surface is visceral, poignant and real. This documentary is Astounding.
11/12/03
Jay Silver
Brooklyn, NY
I just wanted to comment quickly on your film. I found myself glued to the tv as your film started and I never got up once. I hope that through your experience you were able to come to an understanding of who your father was.
I don't have any relatives that were lost in any wars and I feel fortunate for that. I do have an Uncle, the brother of my Grandmother, who fought in WWII. To this day I have never asked him about his experience. My Grandmother passed away a number of years ago and I have somewhat lost touch with my Uncle. I think I'm going to give him a call tomorrow and see how his veterens day was and to let him know I was thinking about him. I may also ask him about his time over seas.
I'm also a filmmaker and I want to compliment you on the job you did with your film.
Sincerely,
Jay Silver
11/12/03
Martha Pettengill
Port Washington, Wisconsin
Dear Tracy,
Your film "BE GOOD, SMILE PRETTY" is truly a masterpiece. My heart broke for you as your story unfolded, and I am so sorry for the loss of your father.
When you talked about how you were expected to just "deal with" your feelings of loss, sadness and confusion, and that it was "inconvenient" to others for you to discuss them --that you were dredging up the past-- I knew precisely how you felt.
I did not lose my father with the finality of death, but I experienced the loss of my father through divorce at age 9. The pain surrounding his leaving laid buried deep within me until I was in my 30s. 21 years later, the locked door opened and the emotions surfaced. As I took the journey of trying to understand my feelings and my past, I encountered the same emotional wall that you described. But like you, determination, courage and sheer need drove me to pursue it until I reached some level of understanding.
Your loss is so very great and your journey has been arduous. But within all of your pain lies a core of beauty. ~ The beauty of a devoted daughter, willing to confront and endure a mountain of pain and sorrow in an effort to reclaim a father that was stolen from her so very long ago.
May peace be yours. Thank you for taking us with you on your amazing
journey.
With admiration,
Martha Pettengill
11/12/03
William Lawless
Stamford, CT
I was moved to tears frequently as we explored tragic loss and beautiful depth of human love.
A POWERFUL pro peace and anti war song for us all.
thank you Tracy,
michael lawless
11/12/03
Michael Filipiak
Milwaukee, Wisconsin
As a Vietnam era veteran who has worked with veterans and their partners (mostly combat veterans - from WWII to gulf war one) for many many years, I was deeply touched by the gentle power of the sharing in this story. It shared the reality of the impact of war that veterans feel, along with the incredible real love that they feel for their comrades, those they love and that love them.
All too many have been told to 'put it behind them' for too long, for too many wars, for too many years. To support our troops is to honor what they feel and have been through, to sit with them with honor and compassion, to risk feeling what they feel, and to simply be witness to whom they are as people.
There is no 'fix' to this process, there is however healing and learning.
I have learned that veterans in some sense know more about life and love than those who have not been there may never know, things that simply can't fit into words, they are beyond mere words - especially the sound bite words. The respectful nature of this viedo in allowing her father's friends and family to visually share what they feel gives a hint to what they now know - beyond words.
To honor veterans and those who are 'with them' is to honor life and to make a firm commitment to 'never forget." - to never 'put it behnd' and to honor life itself.
Sincerly,
Michael Filipiak
Milwaukee, WI
Malen and Associates
11/12/03
R. A. Del Vecchio Jr
Stamford, CT
Thank You...
11/12/03
William
An excellent film. Another painful, yet valorous Vietnam story of one of our countrymen. I don't know how any father could not be proud of a daughter like you. I wish I could meet someone as beautiful as you.
11/12/03
Jill Allen
Braintree, MA
The quantity of tears after all of these years i think was excessive. The wife, her husband all of his fellow soldiers were constantly weeping. It was over thirty years ago. It just struck me as bizarre. I can understand his daughter to some extent,but even there it was time to move on. I am not saying forget, you cannot nor should you forget. It just seemed as though grief was almost oddly an old comfortable sweater. I know that loss. My own husband, a young marine, died there so many years ago now. We were married a very brief time when he received his orders. He died within weeks, killed by a grenade. I have my moments, but they are fewer and less severe as time goes by.
11/12/03
Lisa Pulliam
Plymouth, IN
Dear Tracy,
I just finished watching the story about your father on PBS, and I just wanted to applaude you. I think that what you did is amazing, and it really touched me to see what you, your mother, and so many of your father's friends went through. I have a new respect for our Veterans because of the story you shared. Thank you very much.
Christ's love,
Lisa P.
11/12/03
Lisa Handly Stewart
Missouri
Tracy,
I grew up (and still live close) in a small town south of Rich Hill. My oldest brother (different mothers) is a cousin to you dad. I remember when I was growing up hearing the story about your father's death. I watched when you were on 60 min., then I also watched the film tonight. I have shed a lot of tears for you. I admire your determination in finding your dad in the only way that you could. I think a lot of people closed the door on those memories especially with how a lot of people thought about the war. I think your film is telling those that it is okay to open those doors and let the pain and also the good times out. It seemed as if his friends felt good about opening those doors for you and them. If you are ever in Rich Hill I would consider it an honor to meet you. May God be with you.
Lisa
11/12/03
Megan
Ohio
I just finished watching your film and was extremely moved by your
story.
Thank you for sharing it with us!
11/12/03
James F. Gebhardt
Leavenworth, KS
I am a Vietnam veteran. My squad leader was killed on 15 July 1967, a week after he returned from R & R with his wife in Hawaii. I have always wondered if there is a child out there who wants to know who his or her father was. Is there an organization where these children (now adults) can register their names? I know his name and his wife's name, but I don't know if there were any children, then or later. I would like to share my impressions of the father with his children (if there were any). Jim Gebhardt, Major, USA (Retired)
11/12/03
I just happened to come across this while flipping channels. It was amazing. Personal "non-Hollywood" stories like these just have so much more meaning. Thanks for having the courage to show us all such a personal thing.
11/11/03
Claire
Newton Ma
In honor of Veteran's Day, there was a showing of this film at my school today. We were all so moved by the story and i just wanted to thank Tracy for sharing her story with us. Many times after assemblies people ask what the point was, but today we all left the theater with a sense of understanding and compassion. Thank You again for sharing your story and showing us that it is important to remeber the ones you love even if it is difficult.
11/11/03
Cambridge, MA
First, Congratulations to all who have created this masterpiece. The film was shown at our school this morning to remember our Vetrans. I was particularly reminded of my two grandfathers who served there and the stories my grandmother has told me about them. The film also caused me, and many of my classmates to really think about our families and what they may be keeping from us becasue "we aren't ready". I have always thought, until this morning, that my family has probably been right in doing so, but BE GOOD, SMILE PRETTY has caused me to think otherwise. Maybe I do need do open these boxes that are being hidden until I am "ready".
Am I ready now?
Was Tracy ready?
11/11/03
James Shields
Raleigh
This is an important and a moving story, repeated too often. I was one of the 183,000 orphans of American soldiers, sailors and marinesin World War II.
American war orphans from WWII have an organization for mutual support and to honor our lost fathers and mothers, The American World War II Orphans'Network. We invite all to visit our site at WWW.AWON.ORG. For those who chose, we offer resources for those who grieve.
At Gettysburg, Lincoln committed our nation "to care for those who have borne the battle and for their widows and orphans." I fervently pray that we will do better by orphans from current wars that we have by those from Vietnam, Korea and the World Wars.
11/11/03
David B.
Kalamazoo, Michigan
After seeing the story on 60 Minutes II, I am looking forward to seeing the complete documentary for the first time this evening on PBS. I'm glad that your search was successful, all too many of them are not, even for those whose father's survived their war and kept their stories within themself. Just last week, Sgt. Scott C. Rose of the 5th Battalion, 101st Airborne Aviation was killed. The only time he ever saw his baby daughter was last month via web cam... and so the sad legacy of Be Good, Smile Pretty continues.
11/11/03
Steven E. Donley
Huntsville, Alabama
I served with Don in the USS Little Rock (CLG-4) from February 1967 until August 1968. Don was the Assistant Navigator on the ship and I was assigned to First Division.
I remember Don very well as he often visited my wife and me at our small villa in Gaeta before his marriage to your Mother.
As I remember Don volunteered for PCFs before he married and he got his orders to Vietnam shortly before many of his Little Rock shipmates, including myself also recieved orders to Vietnam. People Don knew well that also served there in one capacity or another in-country were LT Tom Hallinan now living in Lincoln, Nebraska and LT(jg)John Maxwell who was stationed just down the Vietnamese coast from me as an Advisor to the Vietnamese Navy at Coastal Group 27. I was at Coastal group 25.
I saw Don twice in Vietnam. Once at the Navy base at Cam Ranh Bay when he had brought the 43 up from the delta to get some in-country R&R and once at Coastal Group 25 when he brought the 43 up for a visit with my team.
As far as I know Don was the only shipmate of mine from the Little Rock that was lost in Vietnam. Every time I go to DC I look for his name on THE WALL and remember how great a man he was - full of fun and full of life - all the time. To this day I can truly say I was fortunate to have known him and to say he was my friend.
I wish you and your Mother well and thank you both for providing such a great tribute to Don and the rest of us who served.
Steve Donley
LT [a long time ago], USN
11/10/03
Kevin Weir
Monrovia, CA
Seeing the film last night moved me and, being a novice songwriter, I wrote what came to mind. I offer this to Tracy and her family, may their strength and love never fade
Be Good, Smile Pretty
Tears of sadness
Learning of the past
Growing ever stronger
Discovering him at last
Finding her father's friends and companions
Hearing about how he lived
Serving alongside him
Taken before he could give
A daughter's journey into the life she never knew
A wife's anguish over the grief of a man who
Left this world in an ambush
Attacked without remorse
His fellow soldiers tore back to him
Too late for further recourse
From California to Hawaii to Washington D.C.
From Rush Hill Missouri, from sea to shining sea
From her grandmother's doorstep to the Wall with his name
From 4 month old to an adult in an instant
A life filled with promise, lived proud, without shame
Transported back in letters and a phone call
Hearing his voice for the first time
Seeing her mother cry in pain and joy
Etched initials in a church door, his jokes were sublime
Fellow soldiers told stories of remembrance
Of promise taken, stories of loss
Of three bottles of Johnny Walker Black so he could see his daughter
Of such a high cost
That other's grief was not emtied, they suffer still, too
Those days of hell rush back to them
The guilt, remorse, laugher, his shoes
Lying under a blanket, covering a torn man
The spot of light colored hair on his head
Identified the body but not the soul of that man
A wife, mother, daughter thirty years later, wishing he weren't dead
Fathers, husbands, sons, honorable men, one and all
Be he named Smith or Jones, this one's Droz
Twenty thousand men with those names were carried by a pall
Still to this day, we ask, for what? For what cause?
Fight the good fight, stand up and be proud
Of the country you live in, of the men who died then
Cry when you need to, laugh and learn to love
Be good, smile pretty, for in heaven he looks down on you
With love
Written November 8, 2003 10pm by Kevin Weir of Monroviia, CA after seeing the Independent Lens movie of the same name on KCET, PBS outlet in Los Angeles, CA
11/10/03
Gordon McKenzie
Los Angeles
My father lived through the savagery of the Normandy campaign in 1944 with the British Army. I think through this very touching story it made you realize what it would have been like if he never came back. Thank you Tracy for this amazingly open story, extremely sad but laying it all bare with the Truth.
Well done
11/10/03
Susan E Smith
Los Angeles, CA
Amazing story about the ripple effects of war! Here is a girl that "shouldn't have been affected at all" because she wasn't "directly affected" by the war. How crazy-making is that? In its painful simplicity, Tracy has made one of the most powerful anti-war statements of this decade. What a horrible wrong turn in her life's path. I hope the film was a healing journey!
11/7/03
Joe Muharsky
Mentor, Ohio
It was my web site that Tracy found the story about her dad on.
www.mwweb.com/ndc
I am glad she did.
Joe Muharsky
RD2 U.S. Navy Black Berets, Vietnam
Forward Machine Gunner PCF 94,PCF 78
Operation Market Time.
Operation Sea Lords
11/7/03
Randy Piper
Tulsa, Oklahoma
Hi Tracy,
My name is Randy Piper and I was on the 43 boat at it's demise. I watched the show on 60 minutes with great interest. I saw that you have a copy of the audio tape from the seawolves and would like to see how to obtain a copy. I asked Seawolves 'Peg Leg'Kelly about it a few years ago, but that never panned out. I'm happy to see that you won an award for all your work. I ordered a DVD of Be Good, Smile Pretty to put in my library.
Hope this finds you well.
William Randolph Piper
11/7/03
Mary Krickmire
Fairport, New York
Dear Tracy,
Like so many of your respondents I too caught the story on 60 Minutes II. I was very moved by the story for two reasons: At 15 I met a private at a USO dance at Fort Dix, NJ and we beccame close. His name was Roger Dale Long. I received many letters from him but when he had 5 days left I received a letter and then never heard from him again. I kept everything he sent me and looked for his name on the Wall but no dice. Also, I teach theatre at a high school in Rochester, NY. I am presenting a play called THE WALL: A PILGRIMAGE by Jan Stuckey. It deals with a family from TX who travel to the Wall to see their son's/husband's name. My young students have no idea about that time and to help them understand I am sharing my young man's letters with them and I am renting your film.
I am glad that you have come forward with all this. Our aim in life should always be to help others and you have helped so many. God bless you and I will let you know how the production turns out.
11/3/03
Rand
Honolulu, Hawaii
Just watched the movie as part of the honolulu international film festival and was impressed with the story and the characters who shared their lives, thoughts, feelings on film.
The audience was surprised to learn (in the Q&A period) that the director did not know the location of the beach where she spent a few precious days with her father (Bellows) but I think that has since changed.
Any plans to make the movie/story available on DVD? It's an increasingly popular format and it would help in making this important story more accessible to a wide audience.
Also, in case the director hasn't thought of it, she can easily convert the many letters she has into pdf files and post them on the web... if she has any interest in doing so. It's just another way in which she can use technology to make her materials/story as widely available as possible.
Keep up the great work and I look forward to her next project which builds upon this present film.
10/31/03
Paula Thompsoin
Jacksonville FL
Thank you.
10/31/03
Teri
Saint Paul Mn
Very touching and poignant. How brave a young girl with a "pretty smile" is that can go forward with desires to gather information so that she and her mom can hold memories in their hands.
I awoke last night with a vision of her dads headstone (birthyear 43) and the number 43 on the boat he perished on. Understanding there to be no connection, but intriqued at the coincidence.
10/31/03
Mollie M. Hughes
Seattle, WA
I am trying to help my daughter find her father, a viet nam vet who came to Monmoth, Oregon (where I was attending what was then Oregon College of Education) in March of 1968. He was a lanky, white male accompanied by an equally lanky and friendly African American. They were definately best friends. It was a one-night stand, though I admit I made love to both of them. My daughter is not a child of color, so that eliminates the friend. Please help us if you can. It may be hard to believe but thdse two men brought a moment of love and celebration into my confused, frightened life and I would like to find either or both of them. Because I thought I would never see them again, I never remembered their names, rank or service. I want to help my daughter by getting passed my embarrassment and into the truth. If anyone can help us, we would appreciate it. Thank you
10/31/03
Shirley Anderson -Pennington
Martinsville, Indiana
Tracy,
I saw your story on 60 minutes 2 this evening. I felt sadness for you and your mother, yet I envied you for having the strength to find the man you never knew and to get to know what happened to him. I have a cousin who served from 70-71. You have given me more courage to continue to do my documentary with him. I was not even born when Vietnam was going on, but still, it affects me. I love finding anything and everything that I can about Vietnam.
I grieve for all those who did not come home, and I grieve for those who did, cause for those who did come back, a part of them died in the jungles of Vietnam. When I was 13 yrs old, I had the chance to visit The Wall, and it was one of the most peaceful places I have ever been too. With all the traffic in one city, The Wall, was so quiet and peaceful. I felt a peace and serene feeling come over me. I was the only teen in my group that understood why my Principal was crying, and why he was staring at the names of his fallen friends, I hugged him and cried with him.
I can't wait to see your documentary, as I am sure I will be crying with you and feeling your pain. On tonights show, I cried through the whole thing. I know I have rambled on and on, but, I just wanted you to know that I envy you for searching out your father. HE SHALL NEVER BE FORGOTTEN!!!
10/31/03
Sandra Graves
Oceanside, CA
Thank you so much for your story. My father, Capt. John R. Bird died in December of 1952 during the Korean conflict. I was born the following July. I have always struggled with not knowing my dad and I too didn't ask my mom to talk about him because she would cry. I did ask her to tell me about him when I was 37 years old. I wish I could say I no longer feel the pain of not having him a part of my life but I know there will always be this "hole in my heart" where he belongs. Thanks so much for your story.
10/31/03
Elbert E. Hudson
Tarboro, N.C.
TRACY:
I served on the USS LITTLE CLG-4 in the Med from 1965 thru late 1967. I knew your dad real well. I was an enlisted man working in the public affairs office aboard the ship. i stood watch on his shift quite a number or times out at sea.
He shook my hand the day I left the ship in Gaeta, Italy in 1967. I operated the ships radio station .I caught the tail end of 60 minutes..heard the name..and then immdeiately recognized his photo. I have a photo of him somewhere if I can locate it. My name is Elbert E. Hudson..better know on the LITTLE ROCK AS "BIG HUD"...I am 58 yrs old now...I live in Tarboro NC (70 miles east of Raleigh) ... I would love to hear from you sometime. ... God Bless you
Gene Hudson
10/27/03
Thomas G. Forrest
Detroit, Michigan
This film engages the emotions and frustrations of being a Vietnam Veteran's Orphan. It is a first time ever reality check with the families of KIA veterans and applies to all wars.
I have never let go of those I knew who did not come home. In their memory, I have spent much of my life ensuring they are not forgotten, even after we are gone.
Thank you for the opportunity to know your father Don through the documentary Be Good, Smile Pretty. You have shared something sacred with the world.
To know more about Swift Boats and their crews, see the listed sites:
http://swiftboats.org
http://www.pcf45.com/
http://bcres.com/river/steffes.htm
9/11/03
Basehor, Kansas
Tracy,
I was lucky enough that my father did not serve in Vietnam. My father went to Laos a few years before the war started and did not re-enlist when his service ended.
I appreciate you coming to St Mary's college in Leavenworth, Kansas, to share your story. I appreciate your story very much. You were very sympathetic towards all parties involved in your project. I also appreciate that your documentary was not about whether the war was just or in-just, but rather that we lost loved ones in that war and their lives are as precious as any lives lost in any war.
I cannot wait for your interactive DVD to come out. Rest assured that you will sell many.
Thanks again.
8/21/03
Maryann Libbey
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
First - Thank you to Cindy Burstein who invited me. Second - Tracy - your movie/documentary is the best soul opening, spirit lifting, heart filling mocvie that i have seen. I will do everything i can to get the information out about this movie. not only is this a personal journey but it is a journey that will take everyone down a path of healing. Thank you Tracy for taking the time and for taking me on your journey. I really mean it when I say, is this movie about My Life? I really relate.
7/15/03
Jim Mathison
Dear Mrs. Tragos,
In all my years of watching television, I do not believe that I have seen a presentation that moved me as profoundly as "Be Good, Smile Pretty." Ihave written to KCPT to express my appreciation to them for their part in bringing your family's story to the air. I now feel compelled to write to you.
First, I applaud your courage for doing the probing that you did in the preparation of this superb documentary. Even though you wanted to do it, it could not have been easy. Second, I applaud your talent, and that of those with whom you worked. The production which resulted was outstanding. Mostly, though, I want to thank you personally.
This show has caused me to deal with some subjects that I have never confronted. I, too, went to the Mekong Delta in 1969, and I know what a forbidding place it could be. I have never talked much with my family about my experiences, but I plan to now. I intend to ask my two sons if they will watch the show with me, talk about it, and ask any questions that they want to ask.
I am from a slightly earlier part of your Dad's generation. I graduated from West Point in 1961, and we lost our share of classmates in SE Asia.
Before the show is broadcast nationally, and I certainly hope it will be, I intend to publicize it through our class email network, encouraging everyone to watch it. Perhaps we will be able to help others like you who are searching for information. Thank you again.
James S. Mathison
| |
|
