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BE GOOD, SMILE PRETTY

Healing and Remembrance


Update: Journey to Vietnam Page 1 | 2 | 3


Sept. 25 – Hanoi

Last full day in Vietnam. We leave for the States tomorrow morning.

We got up early for the three-hour drive from Hanoi to reach Vietnam's Northern-most province, which borders China and where we can see Ha Long Bay. It is a formation of tall rock islands, which runs along much of the Northern coast of the country. We took a little boat tour into the bay. It was really very beautiful. It is one of the natural wonders of the world.

After a long drive back to Hanoi, we packed and went down to the bar for a quick bite before turning in. We were lucky to run into Tom Corey, president of the Vietnam Veterans of America (VVA). He and his colleagues were coming back from a get-together at the Ministry of defense and were on a mission to track down Tracy. Tom is a quadriplegic who lost most of the function in his limbs when he was shot through the neck during the war. One of his primary initiatives with the VVA is to locate the remains of MIA's.

John Kerry, Don Droz and a Vietnamese marine standing on a boat in the river.
John Kerry, Don Droz and a
Vietnamese marine

After a long day playing tourist, meeting Tom and talking once again about loss seemed like an appropriate way to end this trip. Tom confirmed what we had heard and read from so many American vets, that despite everything — the fear, the loss, the pain — despite everything, Vietnam still held great memories for them. Memories of being young and strong. Memories of having fun. And memories of the greatest friendships formed in sharing insanity.

Postscript

View of the PCF 43 battle ship.
PCF 43
Don Droz in khakis in Vietnam with the river and mountains behind him.
Don Droz in Vietnam

When Tracy started this project nearly three years ago, she told me that she wanted to have the courage to face everything that her dad had been through. Of course, she didn't get to share this place with her dad but she did get to share some of the same experiences. He too must have wondered about the strange loud chirps coming out of his walls at night — and ultimately discovered the surprising range of the gecko. He too must have been shocked by the bath water temperature of the South China Sea at Cam Ranh Bay — where you can't even count on the ocean for relief from the heat. And more than once he must have sunk his boots deep into the spongy muddy banks of the Mekong Delta and worried whether he'd ever get all the mud out, and out of all the mud.


Portrait of Tracy and Judy in Vietnam
Tracy and her mother Judy in Vietnam

Vietnam is a country, not a war. That's what they say. And it is — except for all the memories. Judy's memories of her good life with Don have nothing to do with this place. But for Tracy, coming to Vietnam was another piece of the puzzle. The place where Don died was far uglier than any of us had imagined. But Tracy and Judy courageously faced it. And now it's time to go.



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