 |
|
|
|
Tell us what you think.
Selected submissions will be posted here, so check back regularly.
6/11/03
becky high
hatfield, pa
I had tears in my eyes the whole time I watched this program. The love between the dads and the children was so evident . As a mom of three boys, I know how hard it is to be a parent, and the fact that these men chose to do this , with all the pitfalls and potential problems , totally astounds me (in a GOOD way!) My niece and nephew are being raised in a two-mom family, and I can see first hand that gay people can make GREAT parents. The world needs more parents like this! My hat's off to all of you, and much love and blessings!
6/11/03
Lisa Brenneisen
Oakland, California
My boyfriend and I loved this! We laughed, we cried, we felt the joy and frustration these wonderful parents were experiencing. I especially wanted to comment that, at 16 years old I gave up a child for adoption. I am always thoughtful of the parents raising my son, wondering and hoping that they are loving and kind. I saw this program and thought, geez, wouldn't it be great if he has gay parents! Keep on fighting the good fight, and doing what you're doing.
Lisa Brenneisen
Eric Lucero
6/11/03
Richard Ehara
El Cerrito, CA
Thank you, thank you for making such a wonderful documentary. Growing up gay, I always assumed that I would never be a parent. I suppose that I had internalized all of the subtle and sometimes not so subtle messages that tell us that we would not make good parents, that we are somehow damaged, and that it would be cruel to subject children to us as fathers. Over the past few years, I have noticed that I want more and more to experience parenting. Watching Daddy & Pappa really makes me feel that I could be a very good gay father. Thanks for liberating a part of me.
6/11/03
Deborah Rose
Ft. Worth, Tex
As I genuinely feel the Bible tells that being with same sex is a sin, I saw a different way of thinking of it tonight while watching this film. These fathers were excellent dads and I think adopting the black children is wonderful, something I always wanted to do myself. I wanted one of every ethnicity. I had 4 of my own by the same man which we eventually divorced and it was horrible for the children. Then I lost my l8 year old son this past year. I think if these kids are raised with love and a healthy attitude, the child will feel it. They looked very happy and I feel if these kids are given a home to feel like they belong, they are better off with two men than with an unhappy man and woman. Congratulations to all these families who are making it work. Therefore, I would support gays adopting. I have been constantly on depression meds and tried to commit suicide at one time due to the messed up life I was given. This film made me cry. I felt the love shown to these children.
Love is #l for a child and the rest you can teach. Give that child a healthy sense of self. They will make their own sexual decisions no matter what. My hats off to you and your children.
6/11/03
Amy Rodriquez
Houston, Texas
I loved watching about the love and growth that took place in your program. I so loved the piece that I was moved to write...at a late hour I might add!
My husband and myself are considering adoption. Your program really demonstrates the kind of responsibility it takes to be a parent. Your program certainly works to dispell the concept that men are not capable of being true caregivers.
Best of luck to all of those beautiful families involved. That little Zack was sure a doll!!
KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK!
6/9/03
Nick Admussen
St. Louis, MO
I saw the "Daddy & Papa" documentary and I think it was a great piece of art -- advancing and even revolutionizing the viewer's opinion of gay adopition -- but I was disappointed about the reaction of the gay couples' opinion of regular, law-imposed limits on adoptive parents. Of course an adoption agency has to ask a prospective parent if they take drugs -- if they've ever hit a child -- if their relationship is functional. If I was going to give one of my children up for adoption, I would definitely want any adoptive parents to be asked these questions, whether they were gay, straight, white, black, or purple. I support gay adoption but hope that its strictures are as limiting as those that limit straight adoption: let's give every child the best home possible, regardless of their new parents' sexual orientation.
6/9/03
Stephanie Hare
Owensboro, KY
I really enjoyed this film. I offer up a different connection to the film. Sexual preference played the main role, hey my brother and his boyfriend have been living together for 3 years. PEOPLE GET OVER IT. I have never understood why people feel they have to persecute or offer up their ignorant opinions just because not everyone follows the "standard way." Although I could go on for days about gay, straight the film caught a different issue for me. I am a single white mother. My very beautiful 10 month old daughter is bi-racial. Her father is black and unfortunately fell a little short of his fatherly duties. The whole sticking around and taking care of his child wasn't what he had in mind. I love my child more than my own life yet I worry I will fall short. I don't know what it is like to be a black woman. That is as much a part of my child as being a white woman. I feel like I am cheating her of that part of her heritage. People stare at her and I and I am sure think, "There goes another on living off the government and so on....." The mean and hurtful things people will say about your child are horrifying. I don't understand that for her. Society doesn't make it any easier to help me to help my child. The most important thing I can give my daughter is a strong sense of self, a high tolerance for ignorance, a color blind attitude to not only black, white, red, yellow, and so on, but to people who are different for whatever reason, and most importantly to love everything even when she doesn't understand or agree. I guess that is what all good parents ever hope to achieve. God be with all families no matter what the structure of the family is. I would love to see how each family develops and becomes stronger. I would also love any kind of information on different tools to teach my child about her heritage and differences in other people may it be religion, sexual preference, creed and so on. Always praying for peace with all!!!!
6/9/03
Dee
Pa
I thought the show was very heartwarming and informing.I am a 'straight'mother,my children have a 'straight' father,yet we dealt with the same sort of issues when they were small.My children were not allowed to play with guns or war toys,yet because of this my parents were sure my son would turn out 'gay'.They were none too thrilled with the pictures of my son (then not yet 2)and his sister(around 4)playing with barbies, dressup,witch,and my son stirring food on his play stove.He also had dolls and they went with us everywhere.He is now 16,very talented in music and acting,loves kids and is a joy to be around.Is he gay?I have no idea.It doesn't matter to us as long as he's happy.I could see by the faces of these men that,that is all they wish for their children and I commend them.
6/9/03
Tyler Firth
Plymouth, Michigan
Talk about family values! I thoroughly enjoyed this film. And I kept thinking that the men profiled embodied family values in their commitment to their children, to their partners and to their friends and families. Not like many of our lawmakers like Dan Burton, Robert Livingston and Tim Hutchinson who, in spite of their rhetoric, cannot come close to offering what the men in this film have to offer children. This film debunks the notion that many on the religious right claim that gay parents somehow devalue the family. These men enhance families everywhere and Iím glad they exist. Intolerance and homophobia devalue families.
6/9/03
Wayne Dean
Shawnee, Kansas
I watched the Daddy & Papa special last night and was blown away. I especially enjoyed the segment on Kelly Wallace and his sons. (The story Jesse told about finding his family really touched me.)
I am also a single, gay father of 2 and can relate to the daily struggles Kelly faces. Please feel free to forward my contact information on to Mr. Wallace as I am always looking for support from other single, gay parents.
Thanks for your commitment to quality programs like this. You are why I continue to support PBS programming.
6/5/03
Jan Crossen & Barbara Swahlen
Tucson, AZ
Thank you, PBS, for airing this wonderful program. It was heart-warming, eye-opening, & right on the money. To that end, we just renewed our pledge to support public television. BRAVO!
6/5/03
Ken
Charleston, SC
I watched and was full of joy to see other gay fathers living and loving their children. I am so blessed to have a son and that we have a relationship that is full of love and gratitude.
I needed to see a film like this. Please help me send my thanks to SCETV for having the courage to air this program in my state, a state where the threat of funding cuts for programing gay-friendly shows is a reality.
6/5/03
I really enjoyed this program. And as the grown child of a gay father I feel at least a bit qualified to say we grow up OK. My parents married young and divorced after 2 children. My mother remarried and my father came out and was in a committed and loving relationship for the biggest part of my childhood. My parents worked together in raising us. and by our parents I mean my mother my step father my father and his partner. We grew up fine. Yes our parents made mistakes(both sets)tell me of any who have not. We never saw EITHER set of our parents acting sexually. And just for the record we are all grown up now, and we are both hetersexuals who have married had children and are working hard to contribute to sociaty. Really the hardest part of growing up in this was that for many years my father only outed himself to family so we had to lie alot about his "room mate" I really think had he been as open as the men in the show we would have had an even better experience.
6/5/03
michelle
WOW! My hearts and prayers go out to all the men and children in the movie--i absolutely loved the special! It had me hooked and wanting to see more into these lucky children's lives! Anyone who has any stereotypes about the gay lifestyle should sit down and be made to watch this documentary--it's stunningly beautiful. I was moved to tears many times and hope all of the families are happy, healthy, and doing well :). I think i'll be buying the video tape as a present for my "straight" friends who are soon to be having children or adopting. love and light, michelle!
6/5/03
Gary Davidson
Indianapolis, Indiana
I am 29 bi male engaged to 21 bi female. I am trying to get custody of my 4 year oll son. I am happy to see PBS running programs like these. There is great need for these types. I lookward to watches more of these shows in the future.
6/5/03
Kelley
Indianapolis, IN
I must admit that I did not have the opportunity to see this film in its entirity. However, I am happy for the families that appear to be making a difference for children with their love and support.
I take exception with one comment that one of Zach's fathers said. Since I was not ready with pencil and paper, I can not quote him directly, but he made reference that straight people can just f..k to have children, but gay people have to be grilled with questions. Well, I'm writing to tell you that it's not always that easy for straight people either! My husband and I attempted to adopt a baby from Nevada. Of course, we had to undergo the microscope and be analyzed with personal questions to be deemed appropriate. Then, after we were approved by our agency,the birth mother asked us to take posession of our baby pending finalization. (She had no home and could not take care of him.) We cared for, loved, nurtured, and cherished him for four months before finding out that paperwork had not been completed adequately in both Navada and Indiana. The birth mother decided to come and get our precious baby. She has since moved to Idaho to mary a former convict. We have not seen "our" baby since November 2002. He will be one year old in two days. Not a day goes by that I don't long to hold him again. We contacted dozens of lawyers who all told us that we had no legal recourse. So now we're mourning the loss of a son and are financially in debt due to the failed adoption. Our hopes for parenting are now unatainable dreams. So reassure Zach's dad that hetrosexual people can have just as hard a time adopting as homosexuals. In some instances, even harder!
6/5/03
I just wanted to commend PBS for doing such a great job of giving gay parents a face and showing their beautiful hearts and souls. One of the most powerful profiles for me was the couple who got the baby boy from his fundamentalist Black foster home family. It was so amazing how the Grandmother said it was against her church to be gay and she didn't like it, then once she realized how wonderful the two daddies were she and her friends changed their minds. I work as a teacher with poverty level kids from fundamentalist backgrounds. I told them a little about the show today and... predictably they said being gay makes you go to hell. It would be great if PBS could market this film for middle school and high school teachers to use and inform students of what good people of all sexual orientations (and religions) bring to our world.
6/5/03
Kelly
Kirkland, WA
To the film maker:
I happened to catch your film last night and thought it was wonderful! It brought a tear to my eye at points because seeing these fathers love their children so much was so touching. I'm a young single mom so I could relate to quite a bit of what your subject familys are going through. I get discriminated and looked down at quite a bit because people think I'm just another one of those young single moms who are probably living off the government. Not me baby!
Seeing the fathers with their children, I don't see how anyone could ever think that living in a foster home is better than having a parent(s) who love you and take care of you. I grew up with a mentally ill mother and a father who made no effort to know me and I would have way rather have grown up with a gay dad who was there and did what a parent is supposed to.
My best wishes to you and yours. And please make another film soon so we can see how the families are doing now! :)
~Kelly
6/5/03
I think that if two people are in love and they think that they are able to care for a child and provide for the child i think they should be able to have it. I mean that if two people of the same sex love each other enoght to care for themselfs and a child they should have that child. I know people who fought the system to have their child and they won the fight and they are know happy with themselfs and the child is happy, she is in school and they love her so what i have to say is i think gay people should have childern both men and women no matter what sex or race or if they or gay or not
6/5/03
Jim Peterson
Lansing, MI
Gay parents are by definition; not lovers of the opposite sex. Children (male or female) need role models who model their sex in-order to know what to look for in a proper productive mate.
How can a gay model the proper ethical lifestyle necessary for the species to survive; meaning, how can they model what is necessary for their child to survive.
Further, when gay males adopt a girl child their life style illustrates to this girl child that they don't like or love her sex. The same is true of gay females adopting a boy child.
I don't see any study as being honest in approaching these questions.
6/5/03
Chris
I don't know what to say. I guess I don't necessary think that it's good for a child to have 2 dads; a mother and a father are best for psychological development. Then again, I was raised by my mother alone and I'm OK (I think.) The bottom line is it's a tough situation, and in this day and age there is no "right" answer. We'll just have to wait and see how these kids turn out. They'll be ridiculed in school for sure. Bad news. BTW I'm not gay.
6/4/03
PBS, I am glad to hear that you are covering realistic stories about families, regardless of parental sexual orientation. Rather than taking a defensive and narrow-minded approach, we need to encourage couples to welcome unfortunate children to their loving homes. It is an honor for PBS to assist in educating our children about the true meaning of love, acceptance and a family life. As a professional in the mental health field, I encourage all critics to become educated on the numerous studies conducted on gay- parenting. Studies have indicated children raised by same-sex parents are just as emotionally healthy (sometimes even healthier) than heterosexual parents. This is a great start to taking an optimistic approach for children and families.
6/4/03
Fabulous show! These people really want children. They have given much thought to prejudices, obstacles and problems before seeking to adopt children, than real parents. They are so concerned that it will enable them to be good parents. Real parents should give as much thought before they become real parents.
Your program has caused me to think harder about parenthood, responsibility and the prejudices and problems that children face.
6/4/03
I am so proud of those gay dads featured in the program. It is hard work to raise children and even more so when you have society breathing down your neck. I think the children of gays and lesbians will grow up with a unique perspective and a much needed open mind. Gay, lesbian, straight, or bisexual,humans evolved with a need to create communities and nurture children. I am happy to see gay men choose to have families and work at raising well adjusted kids. I am so tired of people equating gay men with sexual acts and not bothering to see the human behind the label/identity.
Signed,
A Mum and Dad of two little ones who are proud to support the gay and lesbian parenting community
6/4/03
Don Blazevich
Vancouver, British Colum
Your show on Gay Adoptive Parents was exceptional. These men deserve praise and a great deal of respect for accepting, loving and raising children. I believe they are fulfilling an important role as all parents do. I commend you, PBS, for presenting such an inspiring group of people. Thank you!
6/4/03
deborah
tulsa, ok
The love is unquestionable and beautiful, it is shown in the happines of the children. The "mising mom" is due in part to the mass media's portrayal of the "family" and can be solved by a few loving mothers committed to the happiness of all children. Missing moms? I would love to help.
6/4/03
All I can say is BRAVO. A very well told and heart-warming story. Children need love and nurturing, whether it be by one, two or a tribe it doesn't matter as long as they are secure with love. The children in your program radiate from love and security they have in their life.
6/4/03
My husband and I just adopted a child of 8 months. I had the opportunity to see the inside of the institution where she spent the first months of her life. It is dismal there. My child was lucky to get out at the age she was. There were children who had been there for years and years. These men & women are offering a loving home to children. This does not mean that the child will "become gay". It is unfortunate that people still believe this is a style that people choose, and not in how your makeup is laid out when you are in the womb. I watched a special when Rosie O'donnell came out to speak about the gay couple who adopted a child (or children) with HIV. NO one else wanted these children. They wanted to put them back into an institution rather than let these gentleman with a beautiful home adopt these children. The children loved living with them. It breaks my heart to think of the children who are left in these situations. Have you adopted a child to help out? Have you ever seen the inside of an institution? Do you know how many children are homeless all over this world? Do you think they're better off homeless? Have you ever opened your wallet to help out, or are you just here to register your complaints?
6/4/03
JT Ryland
Portland OR
Thank you for airing this program. Every day, we are inundated with scenes of heterosexual love, and no one bats an eye. But to a kid growing up with gay parents, what an affirmation to see this program! So many children grow up with just one parent, or are raised by a grandparent, or worse of all, grow up being shuffled around in foster homes. Who's to say being raised by two men or two women won't work? If anything, hopefully these children will be adults who are accepting of everyone for WHO they are, not WHAT they are.
6/4/03
B. Bandy
How sad. It is sad that our society does not value children, resulting in the huge "child welfare" systems of today. How sad that the men featured in this film value their own happiness so far above the long-term well being of the children they choose to make a part of their lives.
The one exception is Kevin, who characterizes himself as a single parent. I applaud his willingness to put the children's needs before his own desires. His lifestyle is portrayed as child-centered and celibate, which is the next-best thing to child-centered and married. I do not understand his choice to live in a neighborhood with so few kids, however.
One does not have to be gay in order to be selfish. Plenty of children are abused and molested by "straight" people. I would like to remind others that God loves all His children. He does not always love our choices, and expects ALL of us to overcome what Paul calls our evil natures. We will get much further with love, and with exhortation to follow God's own will,than we ever could with trying to get others to do OUR will.
6/4/03
Roxanne Fox
I'm 15 years old. I go to high school, and it's true that kids these days are exposed to sexuality all too often. But I don't think this issue should be all about sexuality. I happen to be biracial. My mother is white and my biological father is black. My stepfather is white, and I don't have any problems fitting in with my black friends. I don't feel especially lost when it comes to issues of race, because my parents admit that they don't have all the answers. But good parents possess most of the same virtues and qualities regardless of race, creed, occupation, or (gasp) sexuality. Furthermore, I think a young black child, and a white gay male couple could be a perfect match. Especially when that young black child comes from a troubled or unhealthy household. Having two fathers who are (for all intents and purposes) more in touch with their feminine/maternal sides would provide a supportive, open-minded, sensitive and loving environment. I find it appalling that in this day and age we are still quibbling
over such small issues as sexuality and race. We are all people. We need love and understanding. And if a silly teenager can get it...what's going on people???
6/4/03
I loved your program tonight, and I commend PBS for having the courage, honesty and integrity to be bring such an intimate, unfortunately prejudice issue to the forefront. I am a "straight", single, Caucasian, loving mom of a beautiful 6 yr. old daughter and feel that the most important thing a child can and will feel is love. Your program, through it's honesty of the participants showed that raising a child is challenging, especially in a "non-traditional setting", but also and more importantly that the love a child receives and feels will last a lifetime. I wish I could speak to each one of those people and let them know that what they are giving and the love they will show is truly "parental". For the people that feel same-sex parenting is wrong....without loving, open-minded, mature, adults where would some of these children be? Also for the ones based in your religious beliefs, are you willing to step up to the plate and be the "loving, humanitarian" that you believe yourself to be and give a child the chance to feel loved? Isn't it best to have two people that truly love you than one or even none? It all comes out in wash. What every child remembers in the end is who was there, who tucked them into bed and who said I love you, goodnight.
6/4/03
I grew up deep in the Bible Belt, as a youth I joked that if the South was the Belt, then Chattanooga was the Buckle. My mother is Church of Christ and my father Southern Baptist, I had a strick up bringing, of which I very thinkful for. I knew from an early age that I was different...gay. I was fortunate to have family and friends that are very loving and supportive. I have met several people who were not so lucky.
This production touched me deeply. My mother who is 65 and currently raising 5 children, none of which are her's naturaly. The ages are 15 months, 3 years, 7 years, 11 years and 13 years old. Mother asked me to finish raising them, if she becomes unable. I was flattered and somewhat confused by her offer. I am single, work full time and attend college full time. My goal is to be a teacher. I asked her "why me, why not one of my brothers or my sister?" Her answere was "because the kids love you and you love them. You will not make a difference between any of them." My brothers have three kids of thier own and my sister has two.
Thank you for bringing this issue to the general public's attention. People need to be made aware that the sterotypes of homosexuals is false and misleading. It supprises me that my country is still living in the "dark ages" concerning such issues.
I have traveled all over the U.S. and a little abroad. I have met good and bad of every creed; but I cling to a idea my mother taught me: "do not judge others by thier appears, color, or beliefs, but instead base your options on thier actions and how they treat others.
6/4/03
I don't believe that a gay parent is any different than a heterosexual parent. I am a social worker for a state child protection agency and would be very disappointed if any appropriate person(s) were not allowed to adopt based on their sexual orientation. I feel that gay parents may encounter scrutiny from people. However I have received scrutiny because my biological son is bi-racial, African-American and Caucasian. I feel that if you have a child of a different race you should educate that child about all races beliefs and cusotms. We should encourage a sense of pride and understanding about his or her own race. Children don't see color until it is taught to them and they are older. If you love someone you don't see color.
6/4/03
Mark Rutherford
We are two gay men coparenting two children with two gay women. There are six of us and we have merged from two couples to one family. I think the merging of both the male and female components of the gay community would be an interesting new angle in which to look at the concept of parenting. I am writing a book "The Mamas and the Papas" about our experiences. If you ever want to discuss it, please let me know. I love the film. Thank you for doing such
fine work.
6/4/03
Barbara Hall
Philadelphia, PA
This was a beautiful film! I cried through much of it because I found it so real and so touching. As a lesbian mother myself, I know many wonderful gay dads and believe that they should be supported and understood better by society. It should be clear to everyone that all of the kids in the families profiled in the movie are thriving, and equally clear that many of them would not have stable, loving families they could count on forever if they did not have their dad(s). It amazes me that even when gay and lesbian parents do such a great job of parenting children who no one else is ready or able to parent, they still have to fight prejudice and discrimination for this privelige that no one else wants. I wish all of the families profiled in the film all of the best in the future.
6/4/03
Schuyler Wilson
I watched your program last night, and I thought it was wonderful. My Uncle Jay was gay and I'm sure he would've been a wonderful father, however, he never got the chance. He passed away almost 14 years ago. Back when he was still around there was absolutely no chance for him to get a child. He was my godfather and was a very good one. My younger sister is a lesbian and is talking about someday wanting children. I hope that all your work to open peoples eyes will help to make it easier for her, also. I plan to order your video for my daughters to watch when they are a little older. They are currently 4 1/2 and almost 2. Thank you for your work!!
6/4/03
Knol Aust
Jackson, MSV
I think some of these comments are ridiculous. Of course a family with a "mother and father" would be better for a child... But until those mothers and fathers step up to the plate and start adopting the thousands of children that are minorities, sick with disease or addiction and the many other maladies that face the system, be glad someone is! Each couple that adopts a child reduces the tax dollars needed to keep the foster system alive or allows the funds to be used more appropriately.
Now, to all the people complaining about gay parents, if you aren't part of the solution, you are part of the problem.
6/4/03
Julie Poole
Brunswick,Maine
I think that gay individuals/couples are just as wonderful as heterosexual idividuals/couples as parents.I am very annoyed by the ignorance of people and hence laws in different states that discriminate against gay adoptions and marriage.The bottom line is the love,respect and support that the children recieve for their entire lives and the joy of the people raising them.I only pity the closed hearts that donot recognize this.
6/4/03
Jamie
Unfortunately, I missed the broadcast of DADDY & PAPA, so my judgment is ultimately skewed. However, I have read the information provided on PBS's website about the program and have read articles concerning the issue of homosexual partners raising children. When I read some of the talkback messages, I was horrified how some people cannot accept or respect a couple's choice to raise a child. Contrary to belief that a "normal" family contains that of a mother AND father, the twentieth and especially twenty-first century defied the norm when it became socially acceptable for a child to live in a single-parent household; homosexuals finally had the right to speak their rights. Who says that a loving family can only consist that of a mother and father? Anyone can supply love for the child. And I'm sure a gay couple is just as mature as a heterosexual couple about sexuality once the child understands the issue. Do you really think a gay couple is more prone to show a child sexual activity than a straight couple?
That the gay household will be nothing but an orgy free for exposure to a child's eyes? NO. It's the same way with a straight couple. I am only a teen and I'm not homosexual, but I know what a loving household is and completely acknowledge a gay couple's right to raise a family. I think it's great that there is another couple wanting to raise a child. Rather than throwing out the TV or disconnecting your child from the world wide web, I think people ought to applaud: another child is about to be loved by people with immense devotion.
6/4/03
A very sensitive and intelligent presentation of a very complicated and emotionally tempered topic. Gay parents, of course are not ideal, but for the thousands of children in need of a loving and supportive environment, how could one find fault. In time, we all will realize the value of descency, compassion, and personal integrity as the only real barometer of fitness for parenting by all of social couplings.
6/4/03
My brother and his other are planing to start a family. I am worried about the social "stigma" that will be placed on my new nice or nephew..I am not however worried about how my brother and my brother-in-law will be as parents. Any suggestion on how to help a whole family adjust(ie..anuts, uncles so on like that). I can rember at one time when being a single mother was the big deal..now it seems we have moved on to another way to impose a "family value".
|
|
|
