Danish filmmaker Jørgen Flindt Pedersen reflects on the European approach to war debate, the challenges of making private sorrow public and his intrinsic need to make documentary films.

What led you to make A FAMILY AT WAR?

It started when I read a headline in The Weekly Standard that read, “We are the World.” It was September 20, 2002 after the new foreign policy doctrine about preemptive wars was declared by President Bush. I was stunned by the arrogance, but also by the consequences. Having been a reporter in Saigon in 1975, I thought, “Here we go again.” I felt, like so many times before, that there was a big difference between the American and the European mentality. In Europe, the worry would be about the human costs of a war. In the U.S., that sort of debate was only after the war started.

In my first proposal, I intended to spend some time in one of the political think tanks in Washington, D.C. and contrast that with a family who has lost a child. But after I met the Kaylor family and saw the divisions inside the family itself, I decided to concentrate on the family alone.

How did you meet the Kaylor Family?

During our research in Washington, D. C., we saw a newspaper article about a foundation being established at Centreville High School, Virginia in the name of Jeff Kaylor. We went there for the ceremony and my researcher got to talk to Roxanne Kaylor. After that, I met Roxanne at her school and taped the first video.

What has the audience response been so far?

When A FAMILY AT WAR opened at a theatre in Copenhagen, many women in the audience were crying. I’ve had reaction from people who have had to deal with a great loss, and they said it helped them. When I showed the film to students at the University of Richmond, some of the more conservative ones said they liked the film because it ”was not like Michael Moore.” They felt it was a fair portrayal of a tragic conflict.

What impact do you hope this film will have?

To tell the audience to be awake. Never to be mentally asleep when the powers that be make the big life-and-death decisions. It rarely affects the lives of the decision makers, but always the lives of ordinary people. There is no excuse for not participating in what is going on. To put it bluntly: It was not Hitler alone who started the Second World War.

Tell us about the interview process used in the film. How did you gain access to the subjects, and gain their trust?

Over the years, I have done a lot of documentaries with so-called “ordinary people,” and in my view there is no special technique. If they don’t trust you, they don’t trust you. Period. But I try to share as many of my difficulties in life as possible with them in the process. I am open about myself, and careful about not prying more than I feel they are prepared to allow. I filmed some of the interviews with Roxanne Kaylor myself and we had a very good rapport from the beginning. Sometimes she told me she was too exhausted to be filmed, but eventually Roxanne started talking anyway, and I let the camera run because I felt she wanted to say something important.

What were some of the challenges you faced in making this film?

The challenge was to make the family’s private sorrow public, without the audience feeling they were peeping through a keyhole. To make the feeling of loss and the conflicts involved something that anyone could identify with.

What advantages and/or disadvantages do you think you had being a non-American filmmaker in making a film about this topic?

It made me think a lot about the differences in our mentality and systems. How young Americans have to go into the military if their parents cannot afford to pay for a good education, and how they are trained to be willing to serve and to die for a cause without really questioning the reasons behind it. I have made many documentaries in the U.S. over the years, and I always felt that people were very open to talk to people from abroad and very surprised that we have such a big interest in their affairs.

The independent film business is a difficult one. What keeps you motivated?

For me, filming is like breathing. So there is no plausible motive for stopping!

Why did you choose to present your film on public television?

Because I have always been involved with public broadcasting, and it seems to be the best outlet for serious filmmakers. But I am interested in any outlet for my films, and I try to make them for a broad audience. I don't make narrow films.

What are your three favorite films?

Kess by Kenneth Loach, Dogville by Lars von Trier and 1900 by Bernardo Bertolucci.