For Andy McGuire, a two-year mission sparked his disillusionment with the Mormon Church’s doctrine and dissatisfaction with its practices.

What influenced you to go on a mission? Were you expected to go?

The major influences were cultural expectations (the “culture” that I lived in being the Church of Latter-day Saints), my personal belief that it was the proper thing to do, family expectations and my best friend going on a mission. I was expected to go.

What did you learn by going on a mission?

I learned a great deal of LDS Church history and doctrine that I didn’t know before (both for the better and for the worse). I learned useful life skills and “people skills.” I learned about the religions and cultures that my childhood in Provo, Utah never exposed me to. I learned to look past what I am told by those in positions of authority and to trust my own judgment.

How did your mission change your feelings about the Church?

It exposed me to the gulf between the facade of high ideals presented by the LDS Church and the less noble realities. This dichotomy made itself most painfully felt in two areas: The whitewashed and sanitized versions of early Mormon history and doctrine that the Church presents versus the much more entertaining—and often ugly—reality. [And] the official pronouncements that as a missionary for the Church my primary concern was for the spiritual welfare and well being of the individuals I met versus a starkly different reality that is obsessed with the pursuit of numbers, statistics, money and market share.

Why do you think the missionary program is successful? Why are young Mormon men so willing to spend two years on a mission?

The missionary program is successful because it is a well-constructed and polished marketing and sales effort. The LDS Church has created for itself a wholesome image that is designed to be pleasing to the most desirable demographics. Then an army of clean-cut, young attractive salesmen is sent door to door to sell the Church. How can it fail?

Why are young men so willing to serve a mission? Many do it as a response to strong social and family pressures. Others are taught so strongly that this is their only path in life that it is just a Pavlovian response to their environment.

If you could go back in time, would you still go on a mission? Why?

If all things with me remain as they are now? No. I no longer believe in God, at least not the god portrayed in the Jewish, Christian and Mormon scriptures. But I would seek a similar experience, committing a year or more of my life to volunteer work, such as with the Peace Corps.

What are you doing now? Did being a missionary play a part in your life today? How?

I am still living in Provo, Utah, where I grew up. I am raising a family—three children ages 12 to 17. I am employed as a technical writer and knowledge engineer.

I am no longer a member of the LDS Church. I requested to have my name removed from the membership rolls. Why? Utter disgust over the Church’s anti-gay political campaign in California a few years ago. I have joined no other religious group.

Being a missionary no longer plays an active role in my life. I met my wife on my mission, and that has obviously had a great impact on my life. The seeds of belief (and disbelief) that were planted during my mission set me on a course that led away from the LDS Church. But both of these items have little to do with the experience of being a missionary—they are just side effects.

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