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Tell us what you think.
Selected submissions will be posted here, so check back regularly.
5/27/05
Jeannie Zukav
San Francisco, CA
To Everyone who helped make this film possible thank you. I saw it last night on KQED.
I learned so much from this film, and I want to mention the things that touched me the most. The statement that Nang makes when he says to Mike, "I don't want to be seperated any longer, but I understand that you have to go back." Nang shows so much love for his brother with this one statement. He is longing from his heart to stay close to Mike, and he is accepting that Mike will soon go back to his life in America. He appreciates his time with his brother....so beautiful and innocent.
I also was touched by Mike's straightforwardness with his father. He thought of his father his whole life and then learns the truth about his father's other family. How terrible, for everyone to be put in these kinds of positions. I personally don't understand why his father made the choices that he did, and I relate to Mike's perspective on that. When men let go of their sons and daughters, you know that something is terribly wrong and out of balance.
All we can do is learn from these mistakes and make different choices in our own lives. When we do this I beleive all of our ancestors are released and freed from these unhealthy patterns.
The film was very powerful.
Thank you for showing me your world.
5/26/05
Ganeoun
Oakland, California
Dear Mike,Paul,and David
Wow, I just watch yall film yesterday night May 25,2005. It was very touching. I have a grandma and unlce in cambodia too that i have never meant in my life. I am hoping that by next year when i finish high school i will get to go visit them. I just wanna say that it is really nice of you all to get to know each other and I wish you all the best of luck. I want to keep in touch so here is my email address gsreykhmer@yahoo.com
Take care,
Ganeoun
5/26/05
Monica Sem
Stockton, CA
Well, from what I know, my parent's, brother and sisters were refugees just like Mike's history. I was fortunate enough not to experience the tragedy; I was the first born American Citizen in all my family, but that doesn't mean it doesn't affect me. I'm reminded everyday how grateful I should be with all the opportunities I have living in America. At least the three guys have some history and connections left in their homeland. As for my family, we're lost. We have no relatives living back in the homeland. This film taught me to not take what I have of my family for granted and that I need to learn to communicate more with my parents. I hope one day I can go visit Cambodia and get a feel of what my parent's call home. I just wanted to let everyone in this film know that it was well documented and enjoyed greatly.
5/26/05
Mary
Oakland California
Wow I am so late. I just seen the show tonight. I am glad that you guys got to do what you did. I love it. I admirer all of ya'll because of the fact that ya'll got out there and did your thang. You got out there to understand and to meet your family members that you have not seen in a long time. You took a chance and went back to understand the history behind your life and why or how you are in America. I really do think that it was a great thing. I went down to Cambodia in the summer of 2003 to meet my mother side of the family and my dad's uncle's. But I was a shy girl. I did not know what to say or what to ask. And I do respect you guys for doing what you did. Going out there and opening up yourself and your problems to the world.
10/25/04
David
My wife lost most of her family to the Khmer Rouge...it was hard for her to watch the son's anger toward his father...as she would give anything to see her family again. She said that often people had to make difficult choices during that time. She also said if you did not live through that time then it would not be easy to understand how difficult it was. I hope the son comes to understand how difficult it was for his father and that he forgives the father, because until he does he will not heal.
7/16/04
L. A. Aroon
New York, New York
Dear Mike:
I applaud you for the way you handled the confrontation with your dad. You were firm and determined, and like a bull dog, would not let him wiggle out of your grip. It was a very moving moment. Thanks for sharing your deepest hopes, fears and doubts.
When your dad sat down with the book, and tried to justify what he had done, he was trying to make it seem like your escape had been all part of his grand plan. (Although I don't think either of you ever spoke about money in the film, he seemed to be tallying up a bill that you should pay him for having the foresight to "send" you away to America.)
I don't know all the dynamics of his decision, of your family, or of the events that finally led you back to your "home" country. Neither do you. But I hope you can find it in your heart to take a deep breath and not let yourself be consumed with bitterness toward him and his new family. Life goes on. Your life in America is materially better. Everything worked out for the best.
Your leadership skills came shining through in the film, not only in the way you handled your dad, but also with your friends, your family left behind, and your American life. You can do great things with what you've got on your own. You yourself will make a great dad.
Your brother was ecstatic to just spend time with the older brother he never knew. I hope you'll be able to bring him to the United States and help him become a doctor or perhaps a businessman who can help the rest of your family left behind.
Sincerely,
L.A.A.
6/28/04
Ruth Rodriguez
Largo, Maryland
First I congragulate you for your focused mission of getting the film documentary done.
Your story is simple. War, which tears a country apart, disenfranchised families who in the end suffer so much, and the decision of one person to glue together pieces of the imagined dream, real, or not. Your story is so human, so unadulterated, and yet, speaks so much truth. Your voice, your skin, your language, the food, the families speak louder, and I know for a fact, that non east asian folks can relate and the most fundamental level.
There are several things which I observed. First and foremost, it is not easy to go to your country and see that your family has the most immediate needs. Not having a roof over your head, no walls, no lights, I am sure impacted you.
But the most overwhelming feeling I got, was your families who wanted to engage you, needed you, and while not having enough information about your lives in the Tenderloin, felt that you have a much better life.
I was emotionally moved, by the look of your families' eyes, their tears, their willingness to communicate.
I can go on and on...but stay with the story line...
I would like to see if the other two young men can continue to voice their thoughts..and allow other young men to see that it is important to dialoque about your roots.
I am almost done, but I cannot leave without saying that the person whom I found to be most introspective, knowledgable about needing family, and yet having profound feelings about this whole experience was Mike's brother. Now there ....are some very deep lessons to learn..just listen to how he expreses himself.
Love and respect.
Ruth Rodriguez
6/17/04
Sophia
Austin, TX
After watching 'Refugee', I felt empathetic for mike, who realized his his father did not meet his expectations of whom he had thought he would be. It too seemed as though his father was 'downplaying' his actions by blaming the war. Being a Cambodian-American myself, I could easily identify with many of the boys' feelings in regards to how war has individually affected our family history and family lives.
However, I discussed the film with my mom and she had very contrasting opinions from my own. My mom is a survivor and refugee also, and she witnessed the death of all her sisters and her parents. When we talked about the film, she defended Mike's father, saying that he was obligated to say in cambodia and not go to america because his 2nd wife helped him survive during his time of grief and loss (when he was mistold that his wife and mike had supposedly died), and she said that Mike's father could have easily been killed if he had crossed the border during that time. She argued that Mike did not understand the circumstances of the war at that time because Mike was not old enough to fully understand it and therefore did not fully understand his father.
I'm not saying that i'm right, or that my mom is right or that I am wrong, but I thought it was quite interesting how we both have very different views of the same film, probably because she was raised in Cambodian culture and holds cambodian views while I've been raised in American culture with more American views.
Thanks for sharing your stories and experiences... the film was really inspiring and heartfelt, and it allowed me to share with my (non khmer) friends what conditions are really like in cambodia. thanks so much!
6/7/04
Zary Chan
Philadelphia,PA
It brought tears to my eyes. It also made me realize how fortunate I am right now..... I miss Cambodia.
6/7/04
Philina
SF, CA
for those of you guys who dont know david...he is a great guy. NOT COLD AT ALL! VERY FAMILY ORIENTED...girls love his looks, guys (hater one) probably just envy his ability so suceed and do BIG things in life. TO answer the girls questions of david being single...NO HE IS NOT...he has been in a relationship with my sister for two years. THE MOVIE WAS FUNNY and brought tears to my eyes. since i dont know the other two, let me just make my remark about david. He just didnt know how to approach family he'd never seen and the generation gap as well as the language gap..well i would say he did better then alot of others would've. PAUL and MIKE expressed their generosity, love, and family values very well in this movie. David's grandmother raised him and for him to take a step into cambodian to meet her brother...its a bigger step then anybody will ever get a chance to take in life. GREAT JOB GUYS!
6/7/04
Cristina MARK
San Fransico, CA
AWW YES!!! its my baby david!...THE MOVIE WAS REAL GOOD GUYS!...even though i watched it last year. its been great watching you guys work so hard to get this movie going and promoting it. this movie showed a whole other side of you guys. mike, through you goofy side who likes to hit on david so much, this movie illustrated your more family oriented side. then there is paul, GOD LOVES YOU!! you done real good with your sister made me burst into tears. then there is THE MAN...david...still cant perfect that cambodian cant you? BUT overall i LOVED your performance. YOU LOOK GOOD!...and for those reading this yes this is DAVID MARK'S GIRLFRIEND..no impersonator, the real deal baby. just dropping by to show some love to these boys. and for mike or paul if you guys reading this...LOOK IM BEING NICE TO DAVID FOR ONCE!
6/1/04
Brenda Estevez
Burnsville, MN
I really loved your film it was very touching.I try to learn more about my
boyfriends culture to understand him and his family. I can understand now
why your families are so close with each other.It explains alot.I really
hope Mike understands his father cause watching the film ,I could see his
father wanted to say more than what he said. I really look forward on
watching your film again. take care guys.
6/1/04
JennyDay
Tampa, Florida
1:28 am
Fellas,
I just got done watching your stories.....amazing, is the best way to
describe it. It seemed like you guys felt so many emotions, but were
uncertain if it was ok to show it. You had my heart aching, I can only
imagine what yours felt. You guys all have a beautiful spirit and should
be very proud of who you are. A lot of people, if put in that position
would've probably chosen not to confront it like David Mark was going to
do...at least you know you tried David. Mike, i'm sure you hear this so
many damn times, but I also can relate to just wanting to understand "why"
from your father. At least your father attempted to explain, even if it
wasn't what you wanted to hear. If only i could get the same from my
father...Paul you have an innocense about you, you should be very proud
for making such a wonderful thing happen for your sister and her
family...i bet that was the best hug she ever had. Oh and David we'd get
along hella good, I won't get into why. Mike I wish I felt like I had
half the strength as you....Be cool fellas. JennyDay
6/1/04
Jennifer Denny
Seattle, Wa
Watching these guys go back to their country to reunite with their
families inspired me. You see the father of my daughter is also a refugee
and I would love to see him do the same thing as these guys did. He has
not seen his family in 13yrs I would love to go with him and videotape his
reunion. In conclusion I think you guys are awesome, I really wished Mike
and his mom could find a way to bring Nang to the U.S so he could be with
his mom too.
5/28/04
Bopha
Nashville. TN
Hi Mike after I watch the show it touch me. I want to find my family too,
but I don't know how. I came here with out a dad too. And my mom past away
too in 1989. Just me and my sister we don't know how to find our family
over there in Cambodia, So Mike who help you find your Dad. Can you tell
me how to find my family over there? I have all of the Info. About them I
really need help. I don't know a way to find them. I hope you can help me,
thanks Mike.
Sincerely,
Bopah
5/26/04
Sayaphet
Seattle, WA
I was intrigued with the film once I hit that channel. Hearing their stories made me realize I took advantage of where I live. I was born in a camp in Thailand in 1980. I didn't get the whole story why I was born in a camp because I was Thai. The war consist of Cambodia and Vietnam and I was very confused. Partically I was raise here in the US since I was 6 months old. I learn to speak English very fluently but started to lose my language of Loas and Thai. The 2 guys David and Paul I actually could feel what they were trying to express but couldn't because they couldn't speak their language to their family members. Also Paul's sister didn't have a home with walls reminded me that's how my mom side of the family lives like. My mother has none of her family here not even friends from her country. All she has is the family here that she created. She visits every 5 years and how they give money to their family is just what my mom does wants she's there. I can really relate to this film and would like my son to learn more about their culture as well as ours. I'm a young lady old as Mike and feel I'm fortunate to be here in the US. I would like to meet them to talk more about our countries. To let them know we're not that different.
5/26/04
Kevin Taylor
Washington, DC
First, because of this film, NOW i believe I'll become a PBS member.
I've heard that you can never go back home--and I've always found that to be a myth. Fortunately or unfortunately, people never really are able to live up to the exepections of others--they're always too high. I generally don't always live up to my own expectations of myself. Because I did grow up with a dad, I don't know it feels not to grow up with one but this I know: People I know who didn't have a dad when growing up ALWAYS express the same sentiments that you express. They speak of having the same empty feeling--or something missing. In your case (Mike), one thing that I learned about you while watching the video was the manner in which you matured--exponentially, in such a short period of time. I found that fascinating. the film kind of started out with a young kid, a bit nervous going on a trip to a man who travels back to his homeland and learns to "know," accept, handle, experience, question and then forgive, get angry and then see the energy that's needed to be angry and chooses something different. It amazes me that "kids" can be as young as you "I'm 40" yet be so damned intelligent. I have a feeling that you are not yet aware of your gifts. I just have that feeling. the world needs more people like you.
I think Nakasako's idea of letting you videotape your own journey was simple, yet ingenious. What a perfect idea. I honestly believe the "acting" took a backseat to what was really going on--life itself.
5/24/04
Michelle
Baltimore, Maryland
I was channel surfing and I stopped to see what was on PBS. I came in on the introduction to the video and thought, "Do I really want to watch something with so much socio-political content right now?" But I stayed, and I am so glad that I did.
Refugee is a human story, told by courageous young men. The decision to search for truth is hard for most people to make, because the outcomes are unknown and often difficult. I admire Mike for having the wisdom to know that facing truth...about his father, his homeland, his family and himself was the "rite of passage" necessary to achieve his own adulthood.
Refugee reminded me that our hearts are all the same. It is yet another example of how important fathers are to families and communities. The pain Mike felt as a refugee is no different from the pain I see in the faces of many of the children in my community who don't know their fathers. I loved the way he helped Paul understand his role in his family without lecturing him. Mike is a young man who can help so many others.
I am proud of all of them for having the courage to challenge their pasts and their futures by making the trip.
5/24/04
kara
kansas city
Like some of the others who have written in I was moved to tears by this movie. I was flipping through the channels and was about ready to change the station when Paul met his sister for the first time. I was adopted from S. Korea when I was a baby and have never had any desire to find my birth parents. However after watching this story unfold it makes me want to meet my family there. Seeing how receptive both parties were to letting strangers into their lives makes me see that there can be familial bonds regardless of distance or time. Thank you for showing me a part of life I never would have been able to experience on my own.
5/24/04
K. L. Smith
Toronto, Ontario, Canada
I thought that the film was very touching, and I wish for the best for these guys and their families. At first, I didn't want to watch the film because I knew I was going to cry! I am born in Canada, but my father is from Jamaica, and I have recently been back there to visit family I haven't seen since i was a baby. It's sad because you feel a bound with these people that you don't even know, and at the same time it's hard to see your family living in such poor conditions and not being able to do much to help them. Well, best of luck to you guys. Wonderful film!! Thanks!
5/24/04
DDV
USA
The program was excellent. I taped it and watched so many times already.
Like Mike, I also grew with out a father with me in the US. I came back to visit my father for the first time in 2000. I tried to connect with him and to find out more about him. I left Viet Nam when I was very little.
My father was and still is a stranger to me. It is still very hard to communicate with him even though I do speak Vietnamese.
Mike,
Is there anyway you can share some experiences with me on how to communicate with your father.
Best wishes
5/24/04
Reth
Redmond, WA
This emotional film reminded me of Cambodia, where I left in the late 70's as a child. Sadly I have no parents to ask the decision they made during the war because they both died near Thai's border. I later found out my father waited for my uncle and missed the safe escape. A decision made during a war often has no turning point; however, I strongly agree with Mike that a family can do what it takes to be together. My father could have left Cambodia without us but he chose to pay the ultimate price to path the future for my sisters and I in US, now we call home. I have visited countries as close as Thailand but never go back to Cambodia yet. This film gives me the courage and hope to go back and perhaps to find the missing links. War can tear families apart but love keep family forever.
5/20/04
Mia J
San Diego
When I first started watching the film I wanted to change the channel. I realized it dealt with subjects to close to my heart. Growing up without a father myself and having left South Korea at the age of 11... I felt the need to avoid many painful memories. However, Mike's courageous journey and finally gaining answers and freeing himself from years of unanswered questions gave me a sense of bravery. I felt as though maybe I could try to reconnect with my father as well. I am 27 years old now but the want of a father never seems to diminish. I want to thank all involved in this film for it's honesty and courage.
5/20/04
Riz
You're film was very touching and for the first time I saw how war can really accept families and how it can tear them apart. at times your film was fun but mostly it was sad my mom even told me to change the channel because she was gonna cry if she had seen more of it but i didn't. it was very touching and i'm glad that you all had a chance to meet your family members.Dang i can't believe you guys all live in S.F. up in the T.L.! that's where my cousins live...hey, maybe one day i might get a chance to meet one of you walking down the Street! anyways good luck to you guys and your families.
5/20/04
I was deeply touched by this film. My heart goes out to the "players", because not many of us can do what these guys did. To go to back to a place they barely know and connect with relatives they haven't seen for 20+ years says a lot about them. This film was well directed and I hope everyone get a chance to see it. Peace out.
5/20/04
Saipan, Northern Mariana
All the way from the beautiful island of Saipan. :) Thought I give "props" to the "REFUGEE" documentary. I just got through watching the show. This was an excellent film. I was hoping a time and date for the next sequel was posted on the website...hopefully soon. But like most people that watched the show, I am curious to know whether Nang will be moving to the U.S. Mainland or will their mother be visiting Cambodia to meet Nang? (*fingers crossed*) Either way, it will be a nice beginning to a sequel.
In short, it was a SUPERFLUOUS story!
5/20/04
ST. Paul, MN
This film had so much impact on me when I first met Mike and Spencer at at student (MAASU) conference in Madison. This film brought so much tears to my eyes, more than any other film I've seen. Such an awesome documentary starting with the pre-trip with visas and shopping to meetings with long lost family members in Cambodia. Mike and Nang's dialogue and connection brought so much tears to my eyes. Paul and his sister's reunion, his sister's reaction was so realistic, so emotional but filled with love for a brother whom she's never had contact with for the longest time. David's courage to meet his family is beyond expectation. I would not know if I can do that if I were in his situation.
These guys are so amazing! An Excellent documentary that inspires me one day to visit relatives of my family that were left behind since the Vietnam and Secret WArs in Southeast Asia.
I sincerely hope that Spencer and MIke can start something to help Nang and Mike's aunt to get to the US.
Best of Luck to all of the guys.
By the Way, I can't help but notice how much DAvid Mark resemble my idol, Tupac Shakur so much.
5/20/04
menoy
chicago IL
to mike im sorry you had to go through the things you went through but i know how you feel because i grew up without both of my parents ..i was adopted by my aunt whom is now divorced and im living on my own..and its really hard and i understand how you felt so im here to wish you the best of luck and hope we can become friends i would love to talk to you and learn more about your life...so take cares and hope to hear from you soon..menoy
5/20/04
Michelle
San Diego, CA
being the nerd that I am, I was flippin through the channels when I landed on PBS. For a split second, I thought a couple of my friends were on TV! When I looked closer, I saw three young men heading back to their homeland. Much love and respect to all three of them. Thank you for sharing your experiences with us. I cried with you guys, esp. when Paul met his sister..great job with the film!
5/20/04
dolores
oceanside, CA
A very sincere film best of luck for the three guys!!! Great job!!!
5/20/04
Mary Vang
Maplewood, MN
As I watched the documentary last night there were many questions that arised. For Mike, after 20 years of searching for his father what truth did he want to find? Someone can not make up lost time, and sometimes things are better left untouched or unsaid. I personally thought Mike's approach to finding salvation after 20 years was a gaint step in finding inner peace. There should of been no expectations, there is always a reason behind each happening! Searching for the truth sometimes may open doors that should of never been tampered with. Being Hmong-Amercian myself, I do realize that growing up in main stream society we think differently. The way we feel, the things we do, what we live for, and what we keep will differ that of those back in our homelands.
As for Paul, one's curiousity can open up so many doors of opportunity. Many families that are still in the homelands do expect this and that when you're in their world. We shouldn't take things for granted. We are in the US and this is the land of opportunity and we do make the best of it. Some are less fortunate they did not make it here.
We should all be grateful that we had the opportunity to pursue in a bigger and better dream than others. For David...taking the iniatitive to meet family members and finding a common bond is a good step in achieving family values. Its good that brought yourself to meet family you had never met. There's no harm in creating a link to your pass and your future.
All in all, the film was very information and many individuals can relate to it. Congrats on a job well done and hope you'll take it to a higher level for the audience. :)
5/17/04
florida
This is one of the most, interesting, amazing, heart-wretching and raw truth story I have ever witnessed ... the strength, vulnerbility and most of all the forgiveness demonstrated was truly uplifting ... I am a north american indian and feel like a refugee in my own country ... we were ordered to live on "reservations" "refugee camps" - altho I moved from Canada to USA (florida) 2 years ago .. i still have not been able to open a bank account or even get a library card as I do not have a florida id ... i can't get an id till I get a passport ... why would I need a passport - this is my country ... i am a north american indian - there is no border between the usa and canada for my people ... yet they insist i need these papers to prove who I am in my country by a government who for all purposes are the outsiders ...
... anyway, I loved the story and pray and hope there will be a sequel (sp?) ... will his brother join him in the usa ? did his sister get her home built ? does the father ever admit the truth ?
5/17/04
Christopher Kemp
Cincinnati, Ohio
In 2002 I had the good fortune to travel and spent time in Thailand, Cambodia, Laos and Vietnam.
My time in these countries made me understand that different cultures communicate in different ways. It was difficult to watch Mike Siv's father trying so desperately to communicate with him, without admitting that the choices he made 20 years ago were the wrong ones.
Some people have written that Mike Siv seemed hardened. I couldn't disagree more. He was in a foreign land, surrounded by people he didn't know but whom he had thought about his whole life. I think he responded very well to his situation, and was a role model to the other refugees who were traveling with him. He understand his place, and what was expected of him, he was observant of Cambodian traditions, and yet, even when speaking Cambodian, he was honest and vocal in a way that only an American can be.
A gut-wrenching, important piece of film.
Thanks for it
-- ck
5/17/04
D. Palmer
Spokane, Wa.
This was one of the most thought provocative shows I have seen in quite some time. I just got done watching it and it is 1:45 in the morning. I just had to get on the internet and read more. Some of the letters written by fellow viewers also brought out tears. It is easy for various people to relate to this show and the effects on personal lives. Myself, I was adopted and never once have wanted to meet my birth mother. The woman who changed my diapers and nursed me when I was sick, was my MOTHER. On the other hand, my sister wanted to meet her birth mother. I see alot of these three men in my sister, who I love dearly. So I can see where the emotional level would be so high in these situations. Kudos to PBS and the filmmakers on a well show.
5/17/04
Sambath (Sam) Meas
Philadelphia, PA
After a short night's outing, I came home and sat in front of the t.v. [typical of me].
Surfing the channel and I was surprised to see the documentary. I didn't really know what to make of it. What had caught my attention was seeing Cambodians on TV!!!!
I watch the program through, and I was overwhelmed with emotions. Definitely, I can relate to all those three guys....rather than go on with a long story about my life...
I just wanted to thank them for sharing thier journey with us. I had fears of visiting Cambodia...but I think it is time for me to take a chance (risk) and meet my family.
Thanks for the inspiration!
5/17/04
Christina
I thought that this film was very unique and interesting. I hope that one day all of the family can meet up again with each other and they can talk things through. I wish all of the guys on the show best of luck.
5/17/04
Sarah
Clinton Township, MI
Wonderful film! I watched with my mom. We both were hoping that Mike would find a way to bring Nang back to America with him!!
5/17/04
Tracey
I have absolutely no interest in the culture of Cambodia or any other countries in that region of the world, nor would I ever want to travel there. However, I wish the boys well in the pursuit of their heritage.
5/17/04
Sophee Khath
Modesto, CA
Mike,
I could only imagine all the questions and thoughts that went through ur mind. You were one of the many few who was courageous enough to take that step forward and have ur questions answered. Even though it wasn't what you wanted to hear, but yet, you accepted the fact that no matter what, he will always be your father.
Paul,
I also admire ur sense of personality. You have made your sister the happiest person in the world, and honestly, you have made me the happiest person as well.
David,
I am really proud, I give u "mad props" to step up and visit your family. Even though you were hesitant at first, but u made the right choice. Family is important, no matter how far, blood is thicker than water.
"Guys",
You three has opened up a lot of people eyes, mind, and soul. Going back to Cambodia to know your family, ur background, ur heritage, and your culture makes you the envy of most. Most definitely, I am envy of you guys. I plan to visit Cambodia as well with my parents, but I honestly don't think it'll be the same. Because you guys went on your own, and explore things hands on without any guidance. You guys went with ur instincts, and that's why I think your documentary is so inspiring.
My name is Sophee Khath, and I would really like to get to know you guys a lot better. Email me at LBsyndrome@aol.com and hopefully I could hear your stories in person. I would like to know, has your life changed since the visit, what affected ur life, and so on. "hook a sister up"
5/17/04
Devine
South Cali
i liked the flim and it made me thought about my dad that i grew up without like mike.
David Mark is hot! =]
5/14/04
Tenecia
Tucson, AZ
After watching this film, I felt like I had been kicked in the gut!!! This film is incredibly power and all of its messages worm their way into your mind, to be revisited over and over again.
These three guys should be commended for their strength, courage, and vulnerability. I greatly appreciate them allowing those outside their lives a chance to take part in an extremely personal and life-changing event.
I feel a connection to Mike the most. It's hard to grow up with the idea/dream of an absent parent but no actual person to step into that role. It's not about not being grateful or appreciative of the parent you do have, it's about feeling validation or acceptance from the parent who was missing. You want to know that their heart yearned for you just as your heart yearned for them. It's about acknowledgment and an opportunity to express your pain/hurt/sadness/frustration/etc.
5/14/04
Lincoln, NE
I would like to see in the section of "where are they now", what happened to Nang (Mike's brother).
I only saw the end of your wonderful program, and I saw Mike and Nang at the hotel. Nang was so open and loving, while Mike was hardened (which I do not blame) but I wish he would have shown Nang some of the love he himself was expecting to get from his father. I am sorry I missed the first part, as maybe it actually happened. I hope the producers can find it in their hearts to find the money for NANG to go MEET HIS MOM, which is AS IMPORTANT as Mike meeting HIS DAD. I hope you can add a follow up about Nang, he is the real "orfan", I would like to know how Mike keeps in touch with him.
Thank you.
5/14/04
Ammala P.
Sacramento, CA
This was a very emotional documentary, especially from the perspective of a fellow refugee. I was born in Thailand, but my mother lived in Laos, and suffered many of the hardships that spread across South East Asia during this time.
I am now 23 yrs old, but have not seen my father in over 10 years. My mother and I returned to the homeland when I was about 12, but everything now is vague.
I have lived without my father throughout most of my childhood, and still as an adult I do not know him. It's hard when your two worlds apart.
When Mike saw his father for the first time, I cried. When he found the courage to ask his father why he let his mother leave the country alone, I felt Mike's pain. And when I saw his beautiful sister so overwhelmed with joy just to be in Mike's presence; I only hope that my welcome home will be as heartwarming.
I was fortunate enough to have met my father sooner in life, and learned that my mother made the decision to leave for the benefit of her children, who would have had no opportunities outside of poverty. We are so fortunate to have a house to live in, to have unemployment if we cannot find jobs, even to have clean water or a warm bed.
I think only those who were brave enough, found the strength to leave, like Mike's mother, like my mother.
I wish Mike well, and hope that he realizes how fortunate he has been to have had a father to meet, let alone having a chance for closure.
Thank-you for sharing such a wonderful story.
5/14/04
Michelle
First, I saw the whole documentary with my parents, whom are Cambodian, and my husband, whom is hispanic, and they thought it was prestine!
The baseline for the story was very well presented in the film. Coming from a Cambodian family I can relate to some the struggles that Mike Siv faces. I myself, was born during the duration of the war. I was born in the Thailand borders, a couple of months after my family had escaped Cambodia. The Khmer Rouge too were in search for my parents, whom were both teachers at the time. They wanted to annihiliate all the educated people, whom Pol Pot thought would be a threat to "this so called atrocious utopia" he was creating. I can say that I have never ever thought of visiting Cambodia. I always thought that I was too "high maintenance" to visit such an impoverish place: no running water, scarce electricity, no malls, no grand movie theatre. I always thought, why should I even go, whats the point, my relatives are only going to be asking me for money. But after watching the documentary and seeing the land and people, I do want to go. I would like to see the homeland where my parents spent half of their lives, where all my relatives inhabit (meet all my fathers nine siblings whom I have never met before), where the cultures, values, and ethics that are instilled by my parents to me and my siblings growing up in the United States, are derived from the roots of Cambodia. To see the poverty and to see what I have here in the United States, I take for granted. To have an education and a great position in society, I take for granted. To have fresh water, and buy expensive hand bags, when people are bearly eating, I take for granted. I plan on visiting Cambodia next year and taking my husband and along with mom and dad. My husband does not understand why my mother sends hundreds of dollars every year to her family in Cambodia. I tell him, in my culture, when your family is poor and they have nothing, and you have a little something, its part of the culture to help family out. He still doesn't understand, but I think when we make our trip next year, I think he'll understand the concept a lot better....
5/13/04
Patrick
Houston
I have seen a lots of documentaries, but the REFUGEE has brought me in tears. This is the best film yet that I've seen. I can relate to their journey and experiences. Because I too have gone through the suffering and painful experiences.
5/13/04
Brooklyn, NY
The film is both heartwrenching and heartwarming. It shows what war can do to ordinary people and the separation and suffering that they have to go thru because of a totalitarian regime in the guise of socialism murdering their very own people to create a new society.
What strikes me the most about this film is the story of Nang-Mike's brother. He practically did grow up without both a father and mother. And, yet it is striking and heartwarming that he does not appear to have any bitterness against his dad or mom (in fact, he wished her well) for the circurmstances he had absolutely no control over.
Nang deserves better. If I may suggest to Mike or to his mom, why don't they petition Nang so that he will be able to come here to America and be with them? At the very least, they would be giving Nang a figthing chance to better his circumstance. I believe that Nang is certainly the type who would succeed in America. I could see the urging drive in him to improve his lot in life. It is not a crime to be poor but it will be if you don't do anything about it.
I sincerely hope to see that Nang will be permamently reunited with his mom and his brother.
5/13/04
Stanley Boston
Los Angeles California
How can I even begin to right what I feal about this film.Mikes story really touched me. It made me feel like im not thea only one out there who grew up without a father, and I feel like I can really relate to him because iv'e resenly have also been working in a video workshop in Little Tokyo.I can relate to paul and david on the whole high school thing because im goin to a contiuation high school to try and finish.Mike,Paul,David, your story's have enspired me to work even harder with my video assignments and to try and make somthing that will effect the communiyt in a possitive way and be able to have people relate to it so that people can feel the way I felt when I saw your video.
Thank You
5/13/04
TQH
Brooklyn, NY
I had tears throughout the film. Again, hits just too close to home.
I was also a refugee from Vietnam, but my father was lost during the escape. I feel for Mike as I also only wanted to stay together with my family.
5/13/04
Anna
Clinton, Mississippi
I watched Refugee last night and can't stop talking about it to my family. I wish I could buy the video so my family can see what I saw, the sweet compassion exhibited by all three of "the guys". Mike, I want you to know that I really admire your courage and insight into trying to develop a relationship with your father, brother and other relatives. I think Nang is the sweetest thing and I wish I had money to send to him for his education. If you talk to your aunt, please tell her that I think she is a wonderful, caring, giving person who reminds me of my own family. I broke down and cried when she referred to the slaughter of the Cambodian people. Mike, I want you to know how proud I am that you got your college degree and I wish the best for your future. I want you to know that I know a father who will "never leave you nor forsake you" and that is Jesus Christ. Paul, your wonderful, giving spirit is a lesson to all of us. May God bless all three of you in achieving your goals.
5/13/04
Lynnette
Houston, Texas
I was truely moved by the story. I can identify with Mike's story mainly because i am in a simiarly situation myself. I could completly identify with what Mike was up against.
The fact that it was done with such simplicity was what really caught my attention.
I wish Paul, Mike, and David the best they did an excellent job.
5/13/04
Trace
Fairfield, CA
This story was very touching. I was channel surfing and came across this program and was immediately drawn in. Something that bothered me was how poor many of the Cambodians are. I never really knew much about Laos but I think I have a better feel now. It also bothered me that it seemed that many of the family members that the guys went to see seemed a little carefree about the fact that a part of their family and bloodline had traveled across the world just to meet them. Paul's uncle and grandfather kinda smiled at him, after seeing him for the first time, but really didn't offer much emotion. I think David's sister showed the kind of emotion that I'd show in that situation.
5/13/04
Carol
Sacramento, CA
It doesn't really matter when you left your homeland. Especially when you hear about it all the time, and when your family still speaks the language. I was happy that the boys could communicate with their relatives. I felt proud of them--I got so into it that I was hoping the relatives in the old country would be impressed by the boys' use of the Cambodian language. I hoped they might understand how much the boys still respect their homeland by their ease with the old language.
I come from New York City, but it has been more than 50 years since we arrived here. I still think of myself as a New Yorker, but I wouldn't trade California for any other state in the union. I've enjoyed going back to New York, but I always will love California because--from the vantage point of nearly 54 years--I know that California has been good to me and my family.
We left most of our family in New York five decades ago, and reunions have proven interesting. I had some preconceived notions about one of my cousins. I hadn't seen him in at least 35 years, but he was so much more and so much better than I ever could imagine.
It's hard for me to pick any fights with Mr. Nakasako giving the guys video cameras to do their own videotaping. They did what young men do--they were energetic, full of ideas that would never occur to me, and in spite of the chorus of bleeps I found them delightful. I saw the raw emotion in Mike's face, and my heart ached for him, but I also saw the sorrow and an unwillingness to resort to pat answers in his father's face, and there for all the world to see was the story. No matter what his father could tell him, that wouldn't change Mike's old feelings of growing up without a father.
Mike's father told him the truth--it is what happened. From there it will be Mike's "thing" to work on for the rest of his life. Everybody's got one. But he's a smart young man, and I know that his good Cambodian - American brain will not let him down. He's headed for good things because no matter where he came from and who brought him up, he is who he is.
Independent Lens is one of the best programs on television, and I read the monthly guide carefully so I won't miss any shows.
5/13/04
Paul
Milpitas, CA
I enjoyed watching the PBS program about the visit back to Cambodia to find family and to find answers to questions unanswered. Although Mike was disappointed by his father's answer about the question why he left his family & continued life with a new wife & family in Cambodia, I could sympathize with his father. His father's plight seemed similar to men who, while going through a wife death, are comforted by another woman. (the same storyline as Pearl Harbor movie). This doesn't explain why his father did not keep in contact with his younger son. The only explaination that I can think of was that his new wife's family was already large & did not have the means to feed another mouth. In any case, the father had to make a lifetime decision which would leave pain forever; the father did not seem to have the complexity to explain his decision to his son's satisfaction.
5/13/04
B. Wymore
Lakewood, CA
I missed the first 15 minutes, I was channel surfing and came upon this. I was touched by this documentary and I thank all three of these young men for sharing part of their lives through this film. What I saw was maturity, sensitivity and personal growth in all of them. I wish good luck to Paul and David for completing their GED and to continually staying focused on achieving the best that life has to offer. Thank you Mike for being honest and upfront with your feelings on meeting your dad and brother Nang. It must have been devastating to hear from your mom the truth, but you put aside any bitterness and went forward with your trip, that took courage. Being born and raised in Southern California with all the comforts taken for granted; it is hard to imagine life as it is in Cambodia. Thank you for a tremendous film.
5/13/04
K
Tulsa, OK
I really want to commend those young gentleman. It takes alot of courage (especially after 20 years) to go back and rediscover who you are and where you come from. The documentary was very relatable. I grew up without my father's influence for a large portion of my life. I never knew what he even looked like, although people told me that I looked like and acted like him. I was 10 years old when I first met my dad. I could have told the young gentleman that his father would not, or could not rather, answer his questions. Most fathers cannot justify what they did, or do, that caused them to be absent. However, the young man did excellent. He did not let that stop him...he had to find out for himself why. He continued to go on with life..and that's just how it is. Good job!
5/13/04
Kristie Tran
Irvine, CA
What an incredible journey! My mom and I saw REFUGEE together, your journey to Cambodia brought back some of our own memories. My parents escaped from Vietnam, then we lived in Cambodia for a while before our escaped to Thailand and finally to the United States. I too was a young girl when my Parents escaped during the Vietnam War. I haven't had the pleasure to go to Asia as of yet, but I’m hopeful that someday I will have the opportunity to experience my own journey. Many thanks to Mike, Paul and David for sharing your journey with all of us. The documentary was so touching, meaningful and full of hope.
Paul and David, I wish you the best of luck on completing your GED!
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