Independent Lens . A WEDDING IN RAMALLAH . Talkback

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Tell us what you think.
Selected submissions will be posted here, so check back regularly.

Curious how the newlyweds are doing? See the update on Bassam and Mariam.

11/12/03
CL Taylor
San Jose, Ca.
Bravo, Sherine! You are a true artist and have presented us, your audience, a "slice of life" to contemplate. I was deeply touched by the stark truth of your documentary. I pray that someday Miriam and Bassam will come to feel a part of the American Culture as well as their own, and take the best from both. I, myself, welcome them with open arms and I am ashamed of any other American who does not do the same. I can see that it is part of their culture to treat women as if their purpose in life were to raise children and cater to men. I hope that Bassam will someday learn that both of them are of equal value and importance --- not one more that the other. I hope that when Miriam works in the store, Bassam will clean and cook for her and show her the compassion and respect that he expects from her.

11/12/03
winok sereisa
antwerp, belgium
dear sherine,

i had a wonderful feeling watching your movie 'wedding in ramallah. i am in no position to to respond on the problems in such a wedding as maybe i am suppose to. it was just a beatiful film.

thank u very much.
winok seresia
belgium.

11/12/03
Susan
Charlotte, NC
I am so happy to see a film like this. I have dear arab friends who still live in NY (my hometown) and I miss them terribly. This account was eye opening and necessary for those who aren't familiar with diverse lifestyles. What was the name of the song playing on the end of the film?

11/12/03
mary andrews
farmington hills, michigan
Cudos to all involved in the filming of A Wedding In Ramallah!

Those of us who are children of immigrants are not amazed at the life styles depicted, neither those of the Old Country nor those here in America. My own family has been in this country for almost 100 years and we are Americans, to our core!

The question becomes: Will these 'new immigrants' want to be Americans in the full context of the word: Americans!

Or will they become a divisive influence in America, seeking only to benefit from our great wealth and opportunity?

America is the Melting Pot, but many immigrants never learn that their greatest contribution is to that Melting Pot, not to their own left-behind culture.

Living in America has been the greatest privilege I could ever have been given. What will these newer immigrants bring into the mix?

Hopefully immigrants such as Bassam and Miriam will make their contribution to our society as Americans and not as displaced citizens, but I wonder if that is possible for them.

They must eventually understand that George Washington and Benjamin Franklin and others made this the most unique country in the world.

I hope they do.

11/11/03
Oleg
Los Angeles
Your documentary showed a "love story" that is in stark contrast to one I witnessed when I lived in Israel while attending a university. A fellow student from the US married a Palestinian woman he met there. She was disowned by her family for marrying a Jew and the couple eloped to the States to avoid harsh punishment by the woman's family.

11/11/03
Tiffany
San Diego, CA
I loved the film, but i have a couple of concerns, I know being married to a man who has a completly different colr skin, background, culture and beliefs that it is very hard to adjust to your surroundings, but you are married and thats what you do, you adjust, you have to, for your own sake, We live here in the US, and hes in the navy, so we move all the time, but I adjust, because we love eachother. I think Miriam complained to much and acted as if she were stupid, and its was that that made her look helpless, and as for bassam, hes a quite man, who did what he should have and got his wife to the states, I do agree he was a bit cold, but thats his way, and his wife didnt help matters, she seems like a liar, always asking for sheerine to help her,doing nothing with her days, i have been there new house new things, meals to cook that i had no clue how to cook because they were foreighn to me, but i survived. God bless them both, but in reality i think we are all the same, we all eventually get married, l arn new things, screw up things, argue, make up, dissapoint, learn truths, learn happieness and survive this life we are ALL living no matter where we are living it. Great job on the film, very honest, and thats awesome!!!!

11/11/03
Hi!
In the movie Mariam asks Sherine how many times she had seen Bassam. Where the filmmaker and Bassam dating? In her Q&A she says that they first met when bassam was shopping for his wedding ceremony. Also, it would've been nice to have a short interview with Bassam's former wife to get her perspective on things.
Your response will be appreciated.

11/11/03
Rich
Chicago, Il
Apologies. After watching 'A Wedding in Ramallah' and listening to them curse America, I couldn't help but feel a little incensed. No one forced these people to come to America. I don't care for either side of the conflict. Feel free to act like the children you are- an eye for an eye! Yeah, that's the mind set. Thanks for fanning the flame of hatred Sherine. Keep those embers burning.

11/11/03
Florida
great film Sherine ,good luck to Bassam and Mariam.but wallah i feel sorry for suniora. PBS :it would be nice if you can show it again. thank you

11/10/03
sammy m.
cleveland,ohio
when we watched the tape i felt sorry for sinora im glad she left him for good she relized that he was never going to take her back to america.im a palestian man and i never treat a woman the way he treated his wife know wonder his first wife got smart and left that jerk.im so ashamed to see his family act like that thats not how people live there life over there.

11/10/03
ANN BALLOUT
ORLAND HILLS, IL
I did enjoy and I am happy that someone did documentary on this subject. I feel very sorry for Sinora - I think that her inlaws didn't allow her to speak to her parents regularly that is why she had to buy a mobile phone. I also feel that Moussa is problably still married to his first wife making him unable to bring Sinora here to the USA. What husband would not want his wife with him???

11/10/03
Khaled Musa
Sacramento California
I have been living in the uS for 16 years, so I became assembled to not watch any american channals for the single view it convey. As I was in a freind's house, I was fortunate to watch a piece of home, Palestine, and the struggle that many people went and still going through just to earn an OK living displayed into a public broadcast station. You got my vote PBS. Thanks.

11/10/03
Des Moines, IA
I thought this was an eye opening film. I am heart-sick about the situation in Israel and pray for the peace of Jerusalem. I do believe that the film was one-sided (everything being what "the Jews" have done/are doing, but it was a film about Palestinian life and that perspective. It would be near impossible to not have that show through.

One thing to note - the beautiful singing conversation between Bassam and the barber. One thing I question though - when Bassam was singing he mentioned Abu Nidal who was a terrorist!! One writer in this forum noted that this was perhaps a type of singing. I did a little searching and found nothing to that effect - Abu Nidal means father of the stuggle in Arabic and was the name the terrorist chose to assume. Why I mention this is that although I feel much compassion for the people, the women and children especially, it is easy to be swayed to overlook the peoples' allegiance to Yassir Arafat, whose desire is to extinguish Jews and those who sympathize with them (regardless of what he says to the US).

11/10/03
Miranda Brooks
Sacramento, CA
I thoroughly enjoyed the film. Very eye opening and interesting. I would very much like to know why Sinora's husband didn't want to be bothered with her. Her comment that she was willing to continue sitting around years waiting for him because what was a woman without her husband was shocking. It was very difficult to watch it and not compare it to our American culture. And to be glad I'm not part of their culture and to appreciate what I have and what I can do.

I felt sad when Bassam talked about his broken heart when his wife left him. I would like to know if she was Palestinian or American. Then I saw his treatment of Mariam. If he treated his first wife as he did Mariam then no wonder she wanted a divorce. He brought Mariam home to a dirty apartment (didn't have the class to at least clean up for her first viewing of her new home); he told her to call him then never bothered to show her how to use the phone; he expected her to clean then never bothered to show her how to use the vac. cleaner; he apparently never showed her how to turn on the tv set so she wouldn't be totally bored out of her mind while she sat waiting for hours--perhaps she could have found an international channel; and since they had a cell phone could he not have called and told her not to bother with dinner and offered to bring her home something to eat instead of just saying he didn't want dinner because he had eaten "takeaway." He had all the sensitivity of a stone. "Bring me my slippers" how rude, no "Please" and no "Thank you." It is very sad to see how women are disrespected in their culture.

I'm glad they are getting along now for her sake. I'm even gladder none of us had to marry him.

11/10/03
Lorene
Phoenix, AZ
Beautifully done. Anyone who finds this film to be anti-semetic is either an extremist or feeling guilty for what the Jews are doing and have done to the Arabs. The filmmaker did not portray the conflict as onesided but simply showed how every day life is for this particular Palestinian family. My heart broke for Sinora, so young and vibrant, eager to be in America with her husband. Why did he even marry if it was not his intention to have his wife join him? I also felt for Mariam as she explored her new surroundings in America. I was glad to see in the end that they opened a small store together which would give her a chance to grow and learn with her husband nearby to support her.

11/10/03
Ayaz
San Diego, CA
I was thorougly impressed by this filmaker's balance at portraying life in Ramallah. What was really intriguing is just how harsh and brutal the occupation is for daily life. An touching story of a couples' quest for marriage and a better life against the harsh political backdrop of life in occupation.

11/10/03
F.C Kangere
Richmond IN
What a superb documentary that was.I have for long been interested by the middle eastern Culture and did once take some Arabic classes. It was so moving and I particulary felt sorry for Sinora. I really would like to know whats going on in her life. She must be having a hard time now having had her best friend leave for the US. Arranged marriages have their cons and pro. In many parts of Africa where Am from, they still work because the idea of them not working is just in peoples mind. Its culturally acceptable, has been like that for ages and will be for another genration or two.

Good job for the film and all the best to Bassam and Miriam.

11/10/03
Hans
Portland,OR
Well Done! I was thoroughly impressed with this documentary. I felt like I was seeing about 10 new perspectives on the human experience. Each character and theme I found equally confounding, frustarating, inspiring, sympathetic, beautiful and vibrant. Kudos to Ms. Salama for getting such personal and moving coverage of these folks and their struggles.

11/10/03
Deena
I can't begin to explain into words how greatly this documentary has touched me. Wonderfully done, and full of pure, and unfiltered humanity and emotion. I am of Palestinian descent, born and raised in the U.S. Watching this film gave me a glimpse into the lives of Palestinians, apart from the daily news clips, a bit of normalcy was restored in this effort. I'd like to commend PBS for airing it and of course Shireen for making it. America needs more tolerance and understanding and less blind hostility and stereotypes in the future in order to objectively move towards a peace agreement. Please do all the viewers a favor, and America at large, and make this available on video for purchase, if not feasible, please reair it for those not fortunate enough to have seen it.

11/10/03
Vancouver, BC
I can't tell you how thrilled I was to see the film.

It showed how common our daily lives are no matter where we live. It was nice to see something that doesn't involve Palestinians being terrorists. They are just human beings trying to have the best life they can like everyone else.

Brilliant film. Thank you Sherine. b

11/10/03
Sacramento, CA
I was thrilled to see such an accurate portrayal of typical life in the West Bank. This film brought the culture and the personal lives of Sinora and Mariam to the viewer in the most insightful way, on a human level. I wanted to reach out of my silent bystander position and offer some emotional support for their daily trials. I hope there will be a sequel, I'm anxious to know how they're managing now. Bravo!

11/10/03
Al Shoreibah
Chicago, USA
Many thanks for this film. I was born in Egypt, but grew up in the US. My wife is similar to me in that respect, but of Palestinian origin.

Thanks for humanizing the Palestinians. The American media is dramatically pro-Israel most of the time. This was a rare opportunity to show some of the everyday lives and hardships facing the Palestinians under a brutal, criminal, and illegal occupation (according to UN resolutions).

As for those who posted comments saying this was very anti-Semitic, please open up your eyes.

A Jew in Brooklyn or Russia has a "right to return" to Israel or go live on a settlement in the West Bank/Gaza.

But a Palestinian who was forced or fled from his land in Palestine (either pre-1948 or post 1967) has no such right.

How is this not racism? Special rights for one race (Jews) and no rights to the indigenous people (Palestinians)?

Over 450 villages were completely bull-dozed in pre-1948 Palestine by Israel and around 500,000 to 750,000 Palestinians were turned i nto refugees.

Today, Sharon is trying to achieve the same thing in the West Bank, Gaza, and East Jerusalem by making life miserable for the Palestinians and grabbing land at every opportunity for Jew-only settlements.

The Palestinians are the modern day version of the native American Indians. But God-willing, their fate will not be the same.

11/10/03
Julie
Clearwater, Florida
I'm glad I happened upon this show! It really opened my eyes to other cultures. I would like an update. How thoughtless of Bassam to neglect teaching Mariam ANYTHING before (or after) arriving in America! She was left to fend for herself! Men are so CARELESS! He didn't even bother to clean his place! She scrubbed for him, and he left piles of filth for her. What a selfish man. He's been in the US for 11 years, and he still won't grow up! He's divorced, with children, lonely, and thinks he needs a "slave" wife? Neither think much of themselves! He's using a poor foreign woman for work & sex. She thinks THIS was her best option. It's bound to fail, or at least be an unhappy marriage. Cleveland! What a terrible first (and only) impression of America! Is that where Bassam's 3 kids live? Does he pay child support or see them? Will he ever be able to afford to give Mariam a baby through insemination? Have they come to love eachother at all? How dare they curse America! Their lives are so much better here! At least they're not living in a war zone anymore, or being run by an EVIL leader! I'm a Born Again Christian American, and I'm on Israel's side to the end... but God loves all people and gives them a WAY where there seems to be no way. May Bassam and Mariam open their eyes, and see that MY God spared their lives and gave them freedom! I'm SO GLAD I'm NOT Arab! Women are treated like possessions, and are kept immature and imprisoned! That's a sign of a society full of VERY INSECURE MEN! The world would be a MUCH better place if it were run by WOMEN!!!

11/10/03
Dianne L Ryan
Pensacola, FL
Excellent documentary. Presents a very human face to the situation in the Middle East. Was very impressed by the resilance of Senora and Mariam, especially. In my limited experience observing arranged marriages, they do seem to work. Both parties are aware of, and accept the roles they are to play. However, it seems that the children of these marriages experienced and continue to experience great conflict in their own relationships and integration into 'western culture'. Do Mariam and Bassam intend to have children? What are their thoughts on how these children will be raised...in two cultures? I'd be curious as to how life is for Mariam now...being in business with her husband.

11/10/03
A. Johnson
Detroit Michigan
I truly enjoyed "A Wedding in Ramallah" It was a very good film. It is always good to see such programs as this because I for one have always wondered, "how do those people live". Not just the Palestinian's but everyone that isn't living where I live. The one thing I would like to know is does Sinora ever get to America with her husband? That's the one unfair thing I thought about how their women are treated. To marry and then leave her there, a beautiful young woman. SO she can't be with the man she loves nor can she find someone there. Also is was highly enlightening to see what the Israeli were up to during the filming of this movie. Just lobbing shells and bullets into buildings and crowds.

This film has met Ms Salama's goals and then some. She even got Mr. Arafat on film, now that was impressive.

In fact watching her work has made me want to get back into filmmaking, this time in Doc's.

11/10/03
james bianchi
san diego ca
not really about arranged marr. be more truthful about the life,read about the city and states? tough question.

yes yes yes! I'm writing about it because it was very moving. It focused on the people not the situation of the war. loved the music,singing,and feeling of the piece. first time i tumed in .I'm glad i did thank you james

11/10/03
Janine Sauers
Kudos, all around! This was beautifully done. Unfortunately it seems Bassam would not be watching this type of program unless Mariam or poor Sinora could convince them to watch it. I felt terrible watching them become accustomed to the violence they had to put up with every day - what else can you do? But I felt almost worse seeing what Mariam was forced to watch with her husband in America - why couldn't he have put on PBS? (Or at least have done something nice and romantic on her arrival?)Watching this film, I began to feel more strongly that wars would end more quickly (or perhaps) never begin, with women in charge....

11/10/03
Joey Lopez
Lodi, California
The film was awe inspiring, it opened my eyes so wide. Put to rest so many of my prejudices, so many of my preconcieved notions.

They are exactly like us, they just happen to speak a different language, and different circumstances, we are all human, and this film reminded me of that. From the mothers in laws proclaimation that everyone from that town is retarded and inbred (sending me into a laughing frenzy) to the soap operah's melodramatic acting, we're all human.

I found it hard to hold back tears as I saw the war-torn town get shelled, such insecurities are something we've never had to deal with. And I sympathized with Mariam as she waited, and with Sinora, who awaits her husband like Mariam, and has her only companion leave. Such friends thrown together by circumstance.

I hope we all can come away from whatching with film with a realization that we're all so similar, we're all people, we're all human.

11/10/03
Sankar Sankaran
Mt Prospect, Illinois
Just finished watching your gorgeous program .... It gave me a completely different prespective on Palestinian life, culture and traditions. I think your built in attempt to stay away from Politics adds to the aura of the film.

As far as the characters themselves, I am really rooting for Mariam and most of all for Sinora (she is just fantastic all around. I really wish people around her will have a better sense to appreciate her).

Being a migrant to this country myself, I feel very close to these folks and that in itself speaks volumes about the quality of this work.....

Cheers and Goodluck,

Good Job !!!

Sankar

11/10/03
Chris John
Omaha, NE
Wow, wow, wow. amazingly beautiful documentary. It made me cry and laugh, sad and happy. It made me think of the millions like Bassam and Mariam and what we, the fortunate, have done to help them. Nothing. I saw this film three times, and in everytime I see it, I enjoy every moment. Well done PBS. the only thing missing is a better timing. It would have been better if aired earlier in the evening instead of midnight or later.

Good job anyway, and May God bless you Bassam and Mariam, Sinora and her family, and all Arabs who have been suffering such tragedies for long time.

11/10/03
First off, I'd like to begin by congratulating Miriam, and Bassam on their Marriage, may Allah bless you with everlasting happiness. Secondly kudos for Sherine, for a job well done!! :)

Also, in response to the person who posted the message beginning with- "What a pathetic account! If this film were ice cream, it would be called Perfidy Ripple...." All I have to say to you is, DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED on the Israeli/Palestinian conflict. Let's not forget who came along and threw people out of their homes, and claimed them to be their own...the entire world knows what happened, it would be absurd to think otherwise. Frankly, I find YOUR views to be ONE SIDED, there's not one sentence in your comment that suggests you're empathetic towards the Palestinians.

As for your comment on, "a culture that treats it's women like inanimate objects", you couldn't be more fallacious! I am a muslim woman, and the Palestinian culture is not much different from my own. Islam is the first religion-FOR YOUR INFORMATION, that gave women equal rights. We have the right to be educated, we have the right to be independant, we have the right to speak our mind, and so forth. Our cultures do NOT treat us like inanimate objects, as much respect as we get as women, I doubt any women in the Western Hemisphere gets. Maybe if you actually studied Islam, you would not dish out such garbage, and even that's putting it lightly. The way I see it is, atleast in our cultures women are not treated like sex toys, wanted one minute, and dumped the other. Our children know who their father's are. We are very content with our cultures, considering our religion plays a huge part in shaping us. As for the "dishonesty", what are you babbling about? Bassam is Palestinian, why would he say he was American? Besides, that's completely up to him, it's none of my business, or yours for that matter. As for the comment Miriam made in respects to the filmmaker, HELLO PERSON!, if you could hear it, I'm sure she did too, and she obviously didn't seem to mind it...cause there is a such thing as editting...incase you haven't of it. Besides, I'm sure we've all , jokingly of course, cursed, expecting the other person not to take it to heart. Last but not least, "dishonest representation of Israeli oppression"?? Uh, earth to you! What would you call it? These people are scared to death for their lives, and you think it's drama? Gullibility on our part eh? Well why don't you put yourself in their shoes for a while and see how you'd feel day to day, fearing for your family's well-being. It's true, there are many Israeli's who empathise with the Palestinian's, and Palestinian's who empathise with Isreali's, but you can't ignore the fact that violence is happening. Compare the Palestinian death toll to the Isreali death toll. Compare your weapons, on one hand there's a tank, and on one hand a 10 yr. old child with a rock? Get your facts straight, and open your eyes, this is reality...it's happening as we speak. people on both sides are dying, and then there's people lik you who deny it.

11/10/03
Huwaida Pervez
Timmins, Ontario, Canada
It was frustrating to to watch this film. The film was made beautifully, don't get me wrong. The truths about women's lives in the Palestinian culture that was shown, however (and so many others), were what was very troublesome.

It saddens me to see both Moussa and Bassam making no effort to connect and appreciate their wives. A marriage is a joint venture and both spouses need to do their part. It was awful watching Bassam instruct Miriam: "bring me my slippers," or, "are you heating my food?" It's pathetic, but it is the unfortunate reality that is all around us. In the film women were shown treated like property and for the service of their men. I wish that even after living in America for 11 years, Bassam could have been more compassionate or loving.

As for Moussa, that was just a joke. In Islam a women is supposed to be with her husband - even taking care of mother and father and sending money to them is secondary to a wife. What Moussa is doing is exactly what gives Muslim men a bad name and a marriages even more so. What's even more hypocritical is expecting your wife to be Miss Perfect while you are rendezvousing about.

What more unfortunate is that there are more men like that in North America who subjugate women. This film should be a wake up call for everyone. Every human is entitled to spousal love, support and care. Every child needs their parents (Moussa). Respect and dignity should edrip from us, not be begged for. I hope more women raise their voices and refuse to be treated that way.

Still, choices are choices and everyone makes them differenty.

God bless them all.

Huwaida Pervez

11/10/03
Aida
Edmonton,AB,Canada
Great film,It brought back sad memories and funny ones. Being an immigrant myself i somehow relate to Miriam. On the other hand everyone is criticising Bassam how non compassionate he is.. I'm not defending the man but i have one thing to say;That after being tortured in prison like he said,and after living his childhood and his adolescent life under the occupation(and all what goes with that) How can you expect compassion from him??That kind of life desensitize you . we just lucky that we live far away from all these problems and we have the freedom to exercise our human rights But we will never forget our palestinian people who suffer every day. I'am not palestinian but i do say a little prayer for them everyday.

Please bring us more insight Sherine.

11/10/03
Joslyne
Vancouver, Canada
I commend Sherine Salama for bringing such an excellent documentary to fruition. It amazes me how a society burdened with unfathomable pressure can continue with day-to-day living so graciously. Palestinians are truly a resilient people. I found myself completely drawn in to the lives of Bassam and Mariam, hoping that they would learn to cope with the challenges of an arranged marriage and the bigger challenge of Mariam's adjustment to American life. My best wishes go out to them and their families in Ramallah.

11/10/03
Matt
Vancouver, BC
Great show Sherine, I couldn't take my eyes of it. I wasn't surprised to learn that you were also the filmmaker of 'Australia has no winter' -- I strongly recommend anyone who liked 'A wedding in Ramallah' to see it.

11/10/03
Jon Godwin
Raleigh, NC
Hi. I really liked the film. However, I am confused by Sherine Salama's stated goals. For instance what exactly are day-to-day politics? Is she refering to the constant violence that threatens the region in Ramallah? Or is she refering to the women coping with the alienation related to the marriage norms? And if so I do not see that the family members transcended either of these issues. I certainly noticed the sisterhood that the women developed to cope with daily life in Ramallah. I thought the film did an excellent job of conveying to the audience how diffucult life is in the region and it showed the far reacing consequences that violence, politics, cultural norms, and the effects of globalization have on people's lives.

Also, I would like to note that on the companion website it says that the film depicts a dowery of gold and goats. If my memory of the film is correct then the husband gave these gifts to the wife therefore this is not a dowery but a progeny price. Dowery is when a wife's family supplies the gifts to the husband's family.

11/10/03
I enjoyed the documentary "Wedding in Ramallah". It gave the viewer a glimpse of the harsh reality of life for Palestinians living under Israeli occupation. It was depressing to see younger Palestinian girls marrying older Palestinian males with connections to the US in the hope of one day getting out of their hopeless situation. This is true for many other cultural groups here in the US. Also, as mentioned by Bassam, so little is known about life in the US and the hard work that it takes to manage ones life. Understandably, life here is viewed through the Hollywood lens and boasting relatives that fear to defy that image of success.

11/10/03
Ameina
Edmonton.Alberta Canada
This film was soo amazingggg. unforgetable. You did an amazing job. I was upstairs ready to do my homework when my older sister called us to watch it then my younger sister was like u have to see this and shes only 13. i was like no im not in the mood but i went anyway and my whole family was glued on the t.v. Arranged marriages are able to work. I beleive that if both work at it then there is hope. bassam and his wife were great! as canadian born lebanese-muslim we have many things in common which made me laugh about mariam turning on the vacum cuz it totally relates to new family members of mine.i believe bassam was a good man because he was working hard for his wife to bring her to where he was at and making her life better. Someone mentioned earlier about not showing love to her when she was at the airport. as a muslim thats not our style, we dunt show how we feel to the public, cuz i think they both showed alot of respect with cheek kisses!They show how they feel at home with more privacy!im glad to hear most ppl are finally sitting the other side of palestians life, becuz what we see here on arab satillite they obviously dunt show it on CNN(bad work guys). Hope to see more of this and maybe a next on on RAMADAN AND MECCA--peace to everyone especially middle east that has been suffering more many and many yrs,

11/10/03
JK
Michigan
I seen the film today (11/09/03). It touched home with me, I am married to a Palestinian man. And I lived in the Middle East with him for over a year, so I know how Miriam felt. It was great, I truly loved the film.

11/10/03
amane
louisiana
Palestinians are humans and have lives like the rest of us...they don't sit around all day planning the best way to hate Americans.

All politics aside; however, as a Palestinian, I'm sorry to see such a bad portrayal of Palestinian life on television because of the fact that the men treated the women as slaves and the women spent all day gossiping. Any Muslim with self-respect, dignity and knowledge of true Islam wouldn't have acted the way these families did. My family and other Palestinian families I know do not act this way and we are very upset to see this on tv. We hope viewers understand that the disrespect between these family members does not represent how other Palestinian families treat each other!

I'm glad, though, that there was an attempt to show day-to-day life of Palestinians and to humanize the Palestinians we see on the news. It's just upsetting the family in the documentary did not value each other's existence. I wish a better family were chosen...and I wish Sinora's husband g ets some sense knocked into him!!
b And in defense of arranged marriages ... arranged marriages are like blind dates, where your friends want to hook you up with someone they think is good for you. You choose if you want to date this person or not. Any mature person can be happy in an arranged marriage ... a marriage which statistically lasts longer than a "love match." After knowing someone for so long, you respect and love them ... the kind of love that does not eventually fade away.

11/10/03
V. Thompson
Topeka, Kansas
Wow! I enjoyed the film. It was about 3 or 4 am and I was doing homework. While channel surfing, the story immediately caught my eye. It was so touching, I could barely move. Although in contrast to life in the US, I was touched to see the emotions expressed by the participants that knew no regional or cultural boundaries. To Sherine, you are awesome and to Bassam and Mariam, I wish you both great success. I would love to see more, what outstanding subjects.

11/10/03
bill crews
jacksonville , fl
I am not generally into heart felt films (more of a sci-fi enthusiast) but i found this one very moving. Good to put a face on what we normally see as terrorists. Could have done without the singing but it did lend a certain authenticity to the film. Not sure if they are better off in the states working multiple jobs and watching TV. Wish their whole family all the best and hope the friction in that part of the world will be justly resolved as soon as possible.

11/10/03
Nadine
Dallas, Texas
A job well done! Your documentary film touched me very deeply. I felt sorrow for the harsh life of the Palestinian people and their daily struggles, but also proud of their perseverance and determination. The film reminded me of my own experience leaving my own country (Morocco) and coming to live in the United States. The beginning was very hard, but eventually I learned how to adapt to my new life style. I hope to see more films and wish you all the best.

11/10/03
Marguerite
Dallas, TX
Congratulations on this fine documentary! Like many other viewers, I stumbled on this film and was immediately drawn into the story....Isn't it interesting that many of us now feel as if we know Mariam and Bassam (Mariam especially) or we would love to know her in person? She comes from a culture and religious background which differs greatly from mine, but Mariam has such a delightful smile and sense of humor I just want to know her. These things are universal...

Thanks - and keep up the good work

11/10/03
abed dayem
cleveland,oh
I loved the film .. I am a family friend of Bassams and priviewed the movie a year back. This is the life that us arab americans live and i hope that people from all around understand our culture. Our women may look like they are being treated bad but in reality they get what they want . We just find it degrading to let our women run around as some trash. This way they're name and the family name looks good in the eyes of others for future purposes as business,or marriage. once again the movie was beautiful and i feel all should purchase it when it is available at any cost. America makes middleeastern people look horrible but thats one side of the story ... Hear ours!!!!

11/10/03
Zahia Hodali
Cleveland, Ohio
Sherine Salama, I was quite intrigued how the film, "A Wedding in America" captivated the attention of the western world. I have watched the movies dozens of times because I personally am good friends with Bassam and Marriam. It may seem that the characters of this film portray the image of Palestinians;however, this is untrue. They are merely one family who,unfortunately, hung their laundry to millions of people.

Although arranged marriages are quite common amongst the arab world, parents fom both sides urge the future newlyweds to "get to know" one another before deciding to tie the knot. Unfortunately, this part of courting was not shown in this film.

Although many viewers believe that Bassam appeared to be a typical chauvinistic Palestinian, he is not. He is a caring and hard-working man that has the utmost respect for his wife. In this film, Bassam, like many Middle eastern men, find it inappropriate to publicly display his affection for his wife especially on camera. Unfortunately, reality tv tends to maximize on the negative behaivor of the character and minimize the good attributes of its characters.

Marriam has become a very close friend of mine and just like in the film, is a kind-hearted loving human being with a great sense of humor. However, in the film, she doesn't represent the majority of Palestinian women today. Many Palestinian women are well educated and hold graduate degrees. They are doctors, lawyers, teachers and business woman. Many hold an even more important job as being "homemakers" for their famlies. In the movie, Marriam appeared to be timid and nieve. However, she is a strong woman who speaks English, drives a car and helps manage the family business. Moreover, she has learned how to vaccum and turn off the fire alarm in their new house.

All families deal with personal problems. However, the problems in this particular family is not common amongst other Palestinian families. I personally was appalled by Bassam's brothers behaivor and he especially was not a representation of the many great Palestinan men. Yes, this family demonstrated a lot of friction between the daugter and mother-in-law. But, don't the westernized women have to deal with over controlling mother-in-laws, too?

However, Ms. Salama did a great job showing the viewers how the Palestians men women, and children have suffered and live a terifying life--- not knowing if they will survive the next bombings or not. This was the probably the only true representation of all Palestinians.

Even though viewers may feel that they have "insight" into the Palestinian culture, there is still much to larn. Perhaps Ms. Salama should broaden her horizens to a wider selection of Palestinians so viewers may get a more clear picture.

Moreover, I am sure had the Abeds known that their personal lives were going to displayed in such a manner, they would not have agreed to do this film.

11/10/03
corning, ny
Wow. What a great documentary. Hope Bassam's brother learns to respect Sinora and gets her out of there. Good luck to Bassam and Mariam on their venture. We hope to hear more about this couple.

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