POV: Sex and Abstinence

I personally think that is worth waiting to have sex since nowadays there are a lot of STD'S that you may contract during a sexual act. You may not know you have an STD since some of them don't show any symptoms. Some people use protection while having sex but that still doesn't make it completely safe; you may still have a chance of getting whatever your partner may have or transmit whatever you have. I would personally wait till marriage because what about if I give myself up to someone whom I won't marry then I won't feel the same sensation with my husband. But then again there is a lot of peer-pressure among teenagers and some of us can't deal with it so we follow the crowd and end up doing something we really didn't want to do. If you're reading this right now and you are sexually active, do yourself a big favor and go get tested for STD's because it would definitely benefit your health.
--Anileme, 14, FL

Don't be afraid to be different. Sometimes standing up for what you believe gets ridicule from your friends and that's a consequence, but it's worth it. I know people who make fun of people who haven't had sex. They say their a good-two-shoes or whatever. But it's a personal choice. It doesn't mean anything about us, but that we've made that choice.
--Sara, Dallas, TX

I think that using generalizations like "everyone" makes a statement a myth. Personally, I know quite a few of my friends who are "doing it"; however, I know an equal number of people who are not.
--Ellie, 17, Westfield, NJ

I am only 17. I now have a baby that is 9 months old. She was conceived the very first time that I decided that to have sex once was not going to be that bad. Well, I am here to tell you that to be this young and have a baby, you have to grow up fast. That includes no going out with your friends, you will have a baby with you and this is no fun. I hope that by reading this, that you think before you act!
--Trista, 17, Indianapolis, IN

I think it's worth waiting, for several reasons. First of all, just because you may be physically ready to have sex, you may not necessarily be emotionally ready for the relationship that comes with sex. Secondly, even with birth control, you run the risk of pregnancy. Pregnancy will really affect your life and education. Only abstinence is the 100% birth control method. Thirdly, the risk of disease is certainly out there. Again, the only way to be 100% safe is abstinence. But when you do feel ready, you should make sure you're informed about birth control and diseases.
--Mimi, 22, Tampa, FL

I just want to say for all the girls out there, don't fall for all those boys! They have pure games. Just 'cuz they say they love you, don't believe everything they say. They could just be trying to get you into bed.
--Tiffany, 14, Hartford, CT

I have a boyfriend and we've been together for a year. I truly wish I would have saved myself for him 'cuase we are getting married, and I love him. I think about that every day. So keep your virginity-- it's a very special thing. I know it's hard these days to do so, but be strong and wait 'till you find the special someone.
--Leah, 17, Middletown, OH

Well, the younger you are, I think the less likely sex will mean anything to you. For your first time, I think it very much depends on the nature of the people involved. If you're the type of person who gets attached easily and takes sex very seriously, then wait. If you just want to try it and are out to have fun, then don't wait. It all depends on your morals and personality.
--Sarah, 20, San Diego, CA

I feel that sex in high school is really unnecessary. Yeah, it also has to do with finding the right person and the right time. But I don't understand how people could think that in high school when they're just trying to find themselves. They should just be thinking about their high school education instead of screwing some little boy.
--Meseret, 16, Shoreline, WA

I think that it is worth waiting to have sex. It may seem more difficult to restrain yourself from having sex in a "heat of the moment" type situation. But in the morning, when things have cooled down, it can be refreshing to know that you made the right decision-- to hold off on sex. I know people who have given in to temptation and had sex, who now really regret it. However, once you have made up your mind to have sex, you want it to be "perfect". You must bear in mind that the first time you have sex, it won't be like the "perfection" that you see in movies.
--Ellie, 17, Westfield, NJ

I think that you should wait until you're married, just because I know teenage mothers and it is real hard for them.
--Janice, 16, Holdingford, MS

I always say that I will wait until I get married because I don't want to become pregnant or have an STD. I think it is worth waiting for the right person.
--Ashley, 13, Beacon, NY

I think waiting until you're older is a very good idea. I don't necessarily believe that having premarital sex is wrong, but I think that knowing what you are getting yourself into is the most crucial thing.
--Heather, St. Pete, FL

Yeah, you have to wait for the right person. The best time to have sex is when you're out of school, because if you have sex while you're in school and you get pregnant, you will not finish your studies. And that is the most important thing, because how are you going to take care of a child if you are a child yourself?
--Yahaira, 16, Brooklyn, NY

I don't believe in waiting until you're married, but you shouldn't rush into sex. I think most teens don't think about the consequences, though they say they do. If you wait for the right person, then you won't feel as cheap, as you would maybe if you did it with someone you didn't even like.
--Heather, 16, Bayville, NY

I feel abstinence is extremely important. It may not seem normal in today's society, but it's the safest policy. Sex is one thing which is worth waiting for, in my eyes. Especially because of the fact that serious diseases are around. And not everyone's the right person for you. The first time should be special-- not because you were pressured into having sex.
--Jaheed, 16, Roselle Park, NJ

I don't think sex is worth waiting for the right person and the right time. It'll never meet your expectations. I feel that all those that partake in sex should act responsibly. If not for themselves, but for their future partners and children. Abstinence isn't for everybody, but it is something that you can always count on. The idea of "second virginity" is wonderful.
--Jennifer, 16, Manhattan, NY

I think it's really worth waiting for, because you only get one moment or certain amount of years to be a teen, so you shouldn't try to grow up so fast. Next thing you know, it'll pass right by you and you wouldn't have had the chance to enjoy the simple things in life, like your prom, dances, or hanging out with your friends. You would be too caught up in whatever.
--Castill, 14, Seattle, WA

I think that sex is a beautiful act, that can only be beautiful between two people who care about each other. I know that with my boyfriend of a year and a half, sex was very special and helped us communicate very intimate feelings that words could not. I don't think that sex is bad unless one party or both are not totally into it.
--Johanna, 17, New York, NY

I think that it's definitely worth waiting for someone. Having sex too soon with someone you don't really care all that much about just messes things up, and you'll regret it. I think in high school especially, it's easy to get wrapped up in someone and let yourself get carried away. It's sad, because there really is so much pressure and it's hard not to give in. But I think it is definitely, definitely worth the wait.
--Molly, 14, Pocatello, ID

I think that someone should wait for the right person and time, but most teens out there want to experience it and can't wait. I think that instead of telling and urging us not to do it, they should make the tools we need (condoms and so forth) even easier for us to have access to, because we're going to have it anyway.
--Romual, 14, New York, NY

It all depends on your situation. If you have been with your boyfriend/girlfriend for a long enough time, and you trust each other, and you feel you are truly ready to commit to the physical and emotional aspects of having sex...then go for it. You should talk to your partner seriously about it first. Discuss the chance of infection or pregnancy. See if your partner is ready to take responsibility for their actions. See if they're willing to wear a condom or a diaphragm, or take other precautions before engaging in intercourse. If you have covered all the possibilities and you feel that your love is strong enough to handle what might happen, then have sex. You never know if you're ready unless you're ready to be prepared, and if you're not prepared, then you're not ready.
--Jen, 14, New York NY

Does the media glamorize sex too much, and do you think it does a decent job of portraying some of its consequences?

I think it may-- but people should not use the media to determine their values anyway. Personally, I use the media for entertainment. My beliefs and values are rooted elsewhere.
--Mimi, 22, Tampa, FL

All you see are the good points about sex...it doesn't seem to present any of the consequences. But it's only because, as they say, "sex sells". It's sad that there's so much sexual activity being televised and broadcast, and just hinted at in the media, because it makes teens who aren't sexually active think that they're not normal and all this junk.
--Molly, 14, Pocatello, ID

I think that in the past decade or so, the media sympathizes with teens. They know that it is a difficult thing to resist and so the shows that they present to the teen audience express compassion and support to make the right decision. However, movies and shows that are not aimed directly at teens tend to glamorize sex and make light of it. This is dangerous, because many teens may watch these shows and get the wrong idea about sex from them.
--Ellie, 17, Westfield, NJ

Does your family talk to you about sex? Have they given you the information you need?

My family is very supportive and understanding when it comes to the topic of sex. I can talk to my parents, since we have an excellent relationship. They feel comfortable talking to me and I feel comfortable talking to them. Sex is an embarrassing subject, but it needs to be discussed. Some teens don't have a good relationship with their parents, so they have no one to talk to. They should have someone who they can trust.
--Rachel, 17, New York, NY

No, my family never talked to me about sex. I learned about sex from friends and TV. AFter I had sex, all my mother said was that if I ever got pregnant, that I could always come to her for help. That was actually great to hear. I don't think I would ever want to sit through a "birds and the bees" talk from my parents, but I was happy to hear I had family support on my side. All the information I need is on the wire, whether that's TV, radio, doctors...it doesn't necessarily have to come from parents.
--Sarah, 20, San Diego, CA

They have never in their lives talked to me about sex, as in, the dreaded "Talk"...My dad has mentioned things to me, but usually in joking. I got all the information I needed in school's sex ed class and from friends.
--Molly, 14, Pocatello, ID

Luckily, my family has always been very open with me about any subject. They did not pressure me to talk about anything, but they offered their help and support if I needed it. I did talk about birth control with my mom, and she gave me the information I needed.
--Mimi, 22, Tampa, FL

Only in the most vague terms. I guess they thought I was too young or never got around to it. It is never too soon for parents to talk to their kids about sex, but you do have to make sure it's age-appropriate.
--Sara, Dallas, TX

Is there enough information out there about sexually transmitted diseases?