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ASK A TEEN or ASK AN EXPERT
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A TEEN ASKS:
If you can't talk to him openly, then you shouldn't sleep with him yet anyway. Communication is the key, and when
the time and the boyfriend are right, you will find it easy and exciting to talk to him about anything. Give it a try-- talk
to him and when you have, you will know his view on sex and he will know yours. Then things will become easier.
If there's something in particular that you need to tell him, and don't feel comfortable bringing it up, you could try to direct the
question towards him. Hopefully then, the conversation will turn to you and your thoughts on the situation. To be honest, I don't think that
a couple is ready to ahve sex until they can comfortably talk about it with each other. Another option is to approach the subject from the standpoint
of a friend. Explain that a friend has a problem or a question, and subtly turn the conversation to you and your boyfriend.
Be honest. If you want to have sex, chances are, your boyfriend will too. There's no need to feel afraid to ask, as long as you aren't pressuring
him into doing something just because you want to. Bringing up the subject of sex doesn't aleays mean you want to talk about having sex now. It
could be that you want to clear your mind and make sure your boyfriend knows you want to wait. Your partner should always respect your decision, whatever that may
be.
I'm a big fan of letter-writing. It's always so much easier to be honest and say everything you want to say, the way you want to say it, when you're
writing it down. Write him a letter (or e-mail!) from the heart, and invite him to write back if he also feels awkward about a face-to-face
conversation. Maybe make an appointment in the letter to have that real sit-down about it. But a letter can really break the ice!
A TEEN ASKS: Lydia Franco of Planned Parenthood/Teenwire.com responds: The only 100 percent effective way of preventing the transmission of sexually transmitted infections (STIs), like HIV - the virus that causes AIDS, is abstinence. The condom makes sex safer. It protects both partners during vaginal, anal, and oral intercourse. The latex condom offers better protection against STIs than any other birth control method. It blocks exchange of body fluids that may be infected. Latex condoms offer good protection against STIs, such as:
Latex condoms also offer some protection against against STIs, such as:
A study conducted in 1993 showed that using condoms every time prevented HIV transmission for all but two of 171 women who had male partners with HIV. However eight out of 10 women whose partners didn’t use condoms every time became infected. Plastic and animal tissue condoms are not recommended for protection against sexually transmitted infections. There have not been sufficient tests of plastic condoms. Some viruses, such as hepatitis-B and HIV, may be small enough to pass through the pores of animal tissue. Communication is very important between sexual partners. People who are infected with HIV should inform their partners of their HIV status.
A TEEN ASKS: Alwyn Cohall, M.D., responds: Many young girls are physically mature at an early age, 12 or 13. They look as if they're 17 or 18. But while their body is physically mature, emotionally or mentally, they're still 12 or 13. When a girl is 12 or 13 but looks 16 or 17, she may be put under a lot of pressure to act in a more mature fashion. She likely finds herself in situations where she's under peer pressure to engage in older activities-- such as having sex. |