STOP BULLYING...TAKE A STAND!
TRANSCRIPT

Open:

Micah: Right away when I hear the word bullying, I'm like, I think maybe somebody was physically hurt, but really, it's not.

Tricia: There was a group of boys, actually, that started following me around.

Dave: I've made fun of people, when I'm with my friends, you know, I'm not gonna lie.

Rebecca: There was one kid who I think I teased pretty relentlessly for a while, you know, just to get a laugh.

Micah: You could really hurt somebody. More so emotionally than physically. Physical wounds heal, but the emotional ones are the ones that you remember.

Dave: The reason why I did this is pretty much for laughs, to make my group laugh.

Tricia: I felt worthless, I felt like who I was, I shouldn't be.

Brittany: That hurts the most and girls will just keep going at it and they won't stop.

Brendon: I think everyone bullies sometimes, whether they realize it or not.

TITLE: Stop Bullying...Take A Stand!

Host Open: Outside School
Christian: Hi, I'm Christian
Erika Harold, Miss America 2003: And I'm Erika Harold

Christian: Today we are going to be talking about bullying and all kinds of harassment and what you can do about it.

Erika: If you're being bullied you may feel that you're the only one but a survey of students found that more than 80% said they had been bullied or victimized in some way. And as Miss America I traveled all around the country talking to young people about this topic. And when I ask them if they have been bullied almost every hand in the auditorium goes up.

Christian: And this is a problem for both boys and girls. Why don't we go inside and find a quiet place to talk.

They enter the building. Cut to interview in the library.

Christian: Why is this issue so important to you?

Erika: When I was in the ninth grade I was the victim of pervasive and severe racial and sexual harassment. And it started out simply with name calling and teasing and taunting. Another thing the students would do is play this game called the uncool game. And I would be sitting in class just trying to focus on what the teacher was saying. And the students would sit there with clipboards. And for the entire class period they would watch and monitor everything I would do. And they would write it down. So if I went like this, they would write it down. If I coughed they would write it down. And then at the end of the class period they would actually be given the opportunity to read aloud to the rest of the students the list of all of the uncool things I had done. It was a degrading experience to say the least.

Christian: Did you have any idea why they were doing this?

Erika: I can't really say exactly why they were doing it. I think one of the things was my racial background, my mother is African American and Cherokee Indian and my father is Greek, German, and English. So that combination right there sets me apart, but aside from that I really don't know exactly what it was about me that made me the target.

Christian: How did you feel?

Erika: I was very scared and I felt very helpless because it seemed as if no one in the school was willing to stand up and help me. And I was only thirteen years old at the time and I really didn't know how to best protect myself. And so I would go to school everyday basically just hoping to be invisible and just hoping to make it through each class period alive.

Christian: You've been going across country talking about this with students from all over the place. What's been their response?

Erika: So many students have similar experiences. I've heard of students who get beat up everyday. I've heard of students who don't want to go to school anymore because of what people say and do to them. And it's been heartbreaking to know that I'm not the only one who's experienced this. Every school I go to I've met so many young people who say this is my life as well.

Cyber bullying Segment

Matt: Bullying people online it's kind of like a new level of bullying, now it's like because schools over so and people use to be relived because they didn't have to see the person for another day and now your online so you can be like "hi how are you" and they can start bullying them again.

Faye: I think it's also more serious because it's in your house, it's your computer.

Regina Lewis (AOL Consumer Advisor): Cyber bullying is old-fashioned bullying, i.e. picking on people, with a modern twist, being done online, via e-mail, via instant messaging, message boards, chat rooms. If you were to ask a classroom nearly every hand would go up.

Shannon: It made me feel even worse to be bullied online than in person. I was IMing people and this one girl IMed me and she was with her other friend. They were making fun of me and saying bad things to me and I didn't know why. I tried to handle it myself by saying please stop, and, there's no point to this, I don't know why you're doing this to me. They also found out my password for a very old screen name and they were IMing my friends and saying bad stuff to them like it was me. I tried to tell my friends that it wasn't me and they weren't believing me. It made me feel terrible; I might have even lost the friends that I already had.

Regina Lewis: If you feel like you've been cyber bullied, this might sound counterintuitive, but resist the urge to fight back. Stop the conversation. Show your parent or a teacher and then develop a strategy.

Shannon: It kept on for a couple months, so I printed them out and I showed my mother. She was shocked, she showed the school next day.

Regina Lewis: Printing and saving any evidence of cyber bullying is key, because there are a lot of mechanisms to go back and trace that. Certainly if you're on an ISP, like an AOL, there's a zero-tolerance policy. That's the deal breaker, because it violates the terms of service. Couple of things that fall under that: one, anything that intimidates someone else; two, impersonating someone. Just as you would report spam, you would report it to your ISP. Say, "Look, this screen name has consistently done X, Y and Z." They look into it, they alert the screen name that their account has been suspended. It's that simple.

If you are crossing lines that are threatening, that intend or propose to take something online offline, then you could have the police showing up at your door, and your ISP tipping off the police.

A lot of accounts are suspended for these kind of thing, and there's a lot of tracking to make sure the same people don't switch up their screen name and begin this again.

Shannon: First I tried to block them, but they kept going on different screen names and doing the same thing.

Regina Lewis: Rather than trying to block all of the bad guys, so often young people say, look if I do this they're just going to pick another screen name and start all over again, is to "whitelist" people. Everybody else won't be able to get through.

Back to Erika's interview

Christian: Most people just don't even consider that bullying, am I right?

Erika: Well I think you're right. A lot of adults don't think that it has a serious impact. But when I was asking kids which hurts your feelings more, if someone were to punch you or call you a name, they didn't see a difference. And some people actually felt that the emotional bullying was worse, because while you can recover from a physical wound, those emotional wounds stay with you for a much longer time.

Christian: One interesting point I was thinking about is that you're talking about is the definition between teasing and harassment or bullying.

Erika: That's a great distinction. I think teasing is something that happens between friends and both people know that they have equal amounts of power, nobody is feeling bad about the situation and both people leave feeling good about the exchange. But harassment is where one person has more power, maybe it's because they are stronger, maybe it's gender, it can be a whole host of reasons. But only one person is laughing there and the other person leaves feeling sorta degraded and dehumanized.

Christian: What should students do?

Erika: One of the things I've noticed that students have been doing is starting groups across the country, and they decide that they no longer want to deal with violence and bullying in their schools.

"YOU HAVE THE POWER" Peer Education Segment:
In Olney, MD, Sherwood H.S. students, members of the activist groups Project Change and SADD, obtain a grant from Youth Service America to create the "You Have the Power" project in which Parks M.S. students create anti-bullying PSA's about what bystanders can do.

Sarika: I don't think that there's anyone anywhere that's never been a bully or been a victim, or even a bystander.

Adam: We would joke about do you remember back in middle school when we used to bully and we would laugh about it...

Sarika: Shameful as it is to say, I know that I've spoken, like, I've talked behind peoples' backs and I know that I have listened to other people talk behind people's back and not said anything.

Molly: As I am getting older in high school I am realizing that talking about someone isn't the best way to approach the situation.

Adam: You start to realize that it was funny but it was wrong and there are so many other things that you could to that would be fun or would be funny that won't offend somebody else.

Molly: It's easier to just go up to them and tell them you know 'this is what you did, and I don't really like what you did about that situation, and what you said about me'

Sarika: Adults tell us, just ignore it, just ignore it, you know, so no one actually just says do something about it so um the bullies just keep on doing it because no one tries to stop them and so by the time it gets to the high school it just seems like everyone is doing it

Jeremy: You kind of eventually accept it as just being part of the social situation in high school

Adam: Everybody can do something to prevent it, it's just a matter of if you're willing to stand up and say its not fun its not helping anybody, it's just hurting everyone that you're doing it to so stop.

Jeremy: One of the reasons I got involved in this project was to identify bullying and prevent myself from just accepting it as just something that happens. We learned about the National Bullying Campaign, and that we could apply for a grant in order to complete an anti-bullying project in our community.

Molly: We had like a month of planning before, and so at the lunch meetings we would talk about what we were going to do with the kids, and how we were going to get the administration involved,

Adam: They came and got the production team together, me and two other guys.

Sarika: And then after that, we wrote up an application. After we got our grant then um we contacted our vice-principal who was helping us a lot at our high school and then the vice-principal at the middle school.

Carolyn: We asked him to pick like a dozen outgoing kids who kind of had energy and ideas that they needed to burn.

Sarika: They were just a diverse group of kids. They were the bullies, the victims, the outgoing kids, the shy kids, bystanders...they were just everyone.

Molly: It was interesting to see what their perspective on what bullying is.

Intro Rosa Parks M.S. Students

Rob: Well I myself have been bullied a little bit so I just wanted to help other people get the message that bullying isn't cool. Some people get the impression that bullying is only physical like beating someone up, you know like throwing them against the wall or something. But you know, people don't even really think about all the different kinds of bullying.

Sami: Working with all the high schoolers, we've learned many different forms of bullying, like just teasing people, writing mean notes, talking about people behind their backs.

Rob: Some of us may have thought "oh, well, it's just friendly, they...I don't really mean it," but some people might not think of it as only being friendly, they might think...yeah, take it seriously.

Mady: You know, notice things more, like look at things in a different way, try to put yourself in other people's shoes to see how they might feel.

Rob: Small things that are repeated over and over again really deteriorate somebody's self-esteem.

Back to H.S. Students.

Carolyn: I think in the beginning there were some problems with when they were starting to rehearse and one of them would mess up and another one would say oh you are such an idiot, and why cant you get that right and by the end of it, they learned that that's not an okay way to handle a situation

Jeremy: The middle-schoolers were great because they really came up with all of the ideas for our skits. We simply mentored them.

Molly: We had a lot of kids who were very serious about their projects and really put their all into it.

Adam: We made them do shots like eleven times. Each time was the first time, they just, they really did have fun with it. Basically what we did was, whatever they had wrote for the skits, we videotaped and edited and put into the final DVD. It wasn't just like a project you had to get done, it was more like we have a chance to make a difference and we can have fun doing it at the same time.

PSA: One month later in a classroom
"You Have the Power" Video is broadcast to every classroom at Parks M.S.
Skits include dramatized incidents of name calling, pushing, teasing and gossiping. Each one showcases the incorrect response as well as the correct response. Afterwards, the H.S. students lead discussion about how bullying can be prevented.

Paul Kurth (Parks M.S. Asst. Principal): We've got to listen to the kids in the building. We've got to make sure that we are addressing their concerns and we also as the adults have got to get past that concept that kids are kids and kids will be kids. We just can't tolerate that. Too many students are being hurt and too many students are not wanting to come to school because of this.

Students talking with Paul Kurth later in the library

Paul Kurth: What can we do here at Rosa Parks to stop bullying?

Diana: I think now they've seen that and they like what they saw in the morning announcement this morning, they're going to watch it a lot more.

Matt: Whatever teacher told you that raise your hand if you want to do this, everybody in the class raised their hands.

Cindy: Also to have more adults in the hallways so they can see what's going on, sometimes things even happen in the hallways and the teachers aren't there.

Matt: Like in between classes -

Cindy: We also have to make sure not to shove or tease anybody in the hallways because if a sixth-grader sees that they'll be like if they do it, I'll do it too. We have to be role models.

Andrew: Talk to your friends, say bullying is really bad I don't know why you should do this and just stop.

Paul Kurth: Do you think if other students start seeing you and other students in the building stop bullying, do you think other students then will stop bullying?

All: Yeah, yeah...it'll get better over the years.

Louise: That's why we chose seventh-graders, because you're going to be (here) next year to lead the group and you'll be able to influence younger students.

Cindy: We can do a lot of things; we have a lot of power…

Paul Kurth: I think Cindy just said it, the key message.

Cindy: We have a lot of power to change things. We have power, we just need to know we have power. And also like, if you help someone being bullied, maybe one day they'll turn and help you when you're being bullied, so it will turn into a bigger...

Paul Kurth: Chain reaction...that's where it starts. And that's what we want to have happen, that chain reaction.

Diana: You need to be able to accept people maybe into your group. If they don't have any friends so they get bullied, you need to like come over their differences.

Matt: And become their friend, because I know it would make someone feel a whole lot better.

Andrew: And don't think that you have to keep with your friends, saying, "No, you can't hang out with us." If they're being bullied, you have to go be a friend.

Louise: What about making your own club? I mean, anti-bullying or positive role models...

Various: Yeah, Friends help Friends!

Back to H.S. Students

Jeremy: The great part is that the middle school students who participated in the skits are going to be coming into the high school and they are then going to be able to perpetuate the project that we started.

Sarika: Before I even asked the question they were like, "oh! Will we be able to do it next year?" and I was like "yeah." You know, so they were actually really excited about it.

Jeremy: In a few years, hopefully everybody in high school will have seen these skits or have, have taken part in an anti bullying campaign in middle school so by that point everybody's going to know that this is a cool thing.

Sami: And also, I think people would have felt like if they tried to do something to stop the bullies, they would get bullied also, but they'd see that we tried to stop bullies and nothing has happened to us, so they won't be afraid to stand up to bullies anymore.

Jeremy: I saw that high schoolers and middle schoolers both had the same capacity to be nice to each other and to me mean to each other so what that says to me is that we are dealing with the same problem which begins in elementary and middle school and continues on into the high schools so if we reduce bulling in the elementary and middle schools, then we reduce bulling in the high schools.

Adam: I came in to get experience making a film, or making any type of production. You know I didn't really know what was going on but then after I saw how it brought everybody together. And really, it did work. I'm a believer now.

Molly: I definitely think this project can be done in other schools. I mean, it's not that hard to do, you just have to get people that are enthusiastic about the project, get your administration involved because that is really gonna help you out a lot. And I mean, just have the drive and determination to do it and then you can do anything.

All: Take a stand, lend a hand, stop bullying now! Woohoo!

Stephanie Bryn, Project Officer, HRSA's National Bullying Prevention Campaign: We know that peer-to-peer education works. And we know that students find messages from their own peers more acceptable than messages from others. In the National Campaign, they have a foundation and they have materials that they can adapt to their own local community and, I think it fits and it can be replicated.

Back to Erika's Inteview

Christian: So what about your friends?

Erika: Well I think a number of people who wanted to hang around really started to decrease throughout the year because they were afraid if they were too closely associated with me then they would be targeted themselves. But I had a few close friends who did stand up for me. That's why it's so important, if you know someone who is being picked on, don't just isolate them because that's the last thing they need is to feel like they are all alone.

Christian: It's very difficult for kids to come to parents and things like that, when did you decide to do that?

Erika: I think it took me probably a couple of weeks because on some level I felt very embarrassed about what was going on because I thought it was something that I had done to cause it, and so initially I started wondering is it the way I look, is it the way I dress? And I tried to change things about myself first, but I began to realize that it didn't matter what I was doing, they were going to continue perpetrating that harassment against me and so I felt I was in a situation that was over my head so I had to tell my parents.

Christian: What did they do?

Erika: My parents first of all, they sat down, they had me go through everything because they wanted to get a really clear idea of what was going on. They tried to talk to the students' parents, they tried to talk to the teacher, the principal. But it was very difficult because if school officials don't take it seriously it's really hard for parents to be able to be very effective.

Christian: So, what finally happened?

Erika: Well after I kept trying to stand up for myself and tried to get the teachers to help me, I felt like I was forced to transfer to a different school during the middle of my sophomore year. Everyone knew exactly why I was there. And so I had to live down a lot of people's prejudice and misconceptions about me. Eventually it got much better but it was very difficult at first.

Christian: Did you think the way the first school handled it wasn't fair or...?

Erika: I didn't think it was fair because I didn't feel the principles and the teachers took a strong enough stance against the students.

Asking For Help Segment:

Tricia (Austin, TX): I had a really hard time concentrating in school. The first class I had of the day was calculus. One of the students who had been harassing me sat right behind me and he spent the entire morning just commenting and saying things to me. Being called names for who I was, about my sexual orientation, really hurt me. I felt worthless, I felt like who I was, I shouldn't be. At first when I was being harassed I was very hesitant to go to an adult, because the situation was just very complicated and I was worried that nothing would be done. I was worried that the harassment would increase after I mentioned it to someone. I wasn't sure if the students would stop or just take it as "here's an opportunity to harass her some more."

Rob: But ignoring them only encourages them more, because you're ignoring them and they'll keep trying harder and harder to try to get you to say something back.

Mady: Bullying can be really bad and it can escalate to really big things, so you should stop it now so it won't get worse later.

Paul Kurth: That is one of the most frustrating pieces for me, is that when I have a student sitting in front of me and they come in and they say, "This has happened to me 10, 12, 13, 14, so many times," and I look at them and I say, "Why didn't you tell me? I could have helped you in the beginning." So talk to somebody. Find either a student who you feel comfortable talking with, who you can go to an adult with; find that one adult in the building that you feel comfortable with to go and seek that help. You don't have to stand for it. And you have the right to feel safe at school.

Cut to Library Discussion

Paul Kurth: Let's go back to that one question…how can we make students feel more comfortable to come to the adults, though? And to let the adults know what's going on?

Louise: Would something like a Safe Reveal program work? Like, they can report it and adults won't go and pull them into the office but they'll keep an eye on them, and just kind of look out for the kids.

Tricia: I think adults can try to make it known that they're safe people to talk to. If you know that someone is willing to listen, you'll be more willing to talk.

Paul Kurth: And we have got to make sure that we are sending that message to the staff. That if a student goes to a staff member, it says that they need help, that this is not a situation where they just say, "Well, thank you and go sit down," that the staff member actually follows through on that they let the students know that we're going to do something about it and to help them.

Tricia: It's certainly very important for adults to take it seriously. I went to the school administration and talked to one of the counselors, and talked to the assistant principal, who later called in the group of kids. I think in many situations, schools are willing to try to make the environment safer, especially if you keep pushing to be heard.

Paul Kurth: I've had a lot of students come to me directly. I've had a lot of students referred to me through the counselor who have had issues with bullying. So I think we are getting the message across the students that it's okay for them to come to an adult, that it's okay to want it to stop

Stephanie Bryn: From the research we did on the National Campaign, we learned that it's really a total community approach or a total school approach. If you don't address bullying in a school setting at a young age, elementary and middle schools especially, it just keeps continuing. If you give them some materials, some tools and resources, most any school can go ahead and design a program. But it isn't one assembly, it isn't one PSA or one skit, it's a whole commitment including consequences when bullying is occurring.

Erika: You know some states are passing legislation mandating that every school have some sort of anti-harassment policy and anti-harassment curriculum. And they're also allocating funds so that if a school wants to do some sort of special anti-harassment or anti-bullying program, they have the means to do that. And I think it's really important because no child should be stuck in a school where they're not protected and not supported.

Christian: What is your advice to anybody who's being bullied?

Erika: The first piece of advice I would give-say is that don't believe that you've done anything to provoke it. I think a lot of people don't want to get help because they think it's something about me that caused me to have to deal with this. Nothing you have done or said caused you to have to deserve this type of attention. So first of all you have to believe you are worth protecting. Secondly, you have to tell somebody. Maybe it's a trusted adult, a parent, a coach, a youth leader, you need to tell an adult because if you don't the situation can quickly escalate.

Christian: Thanks a lot, you've done an amazing job on this issue and I wish you the best of luck!

Erika: Thank you very much. I just want everyone to remember that bullying and harassment are serious issues and we need everyone's help to combat them.

RESOURCES:

Anne (v/o): Please visit our website, inthemix.org, for more information on this and many other programs about critical teen issues. You'll also find resources, transcripts, discussion guides, video clips, how to get copies of our programs, and lots more.

You can also visit our tween website, It's My Life, at pbs.org/itsmylife. It has a special section on bullying that includes games, advice from teens and experts, resources and lots more.

And we'd love to hear from you. You can e-mail us your ideas and advice so we can share it with everyone. That's mail@inthemix.org, or you can call the number on your screen.