E-mail a friendKevin Nealon
airdate February 26, 2004
Kevin Nealon has been in show business for almost 30 years. He was the longest-running cast member in Saturday Night Live history and has appeared in several of his SNL cast mates' films, including Daddy Day Care and Anger Management. Nealon began his career at L.A.'s legendary Improv, while tending bar, and continues to do stand-up comedy around the country. Now starring in Showtime's Weeds, he's also written his first-ever book, which chronicles his experiences during his wife's pregnancy.
Kevin Nealon
Tavis: Kevin Nealon spent 9 seasons on 'Saturday Night Live,' where he played a wide range of memorable characters. One of those characters is now actually featured on slot machines in Las Vegas. True story. Cha-ching. Long before there was "The Governator," there were these 2 guys.
Hanz: Once again, I'm Hanz.
Franz: And I am Franz.
Both: And we just want to pump you up.
Franz: I understand your film was the highest-grossing movie of the year.
Patrick Swayze: Yep.
Franz: Even though it lacked a Schwarzeneggerian element.
Patrick: Well, we are pleased with the success of 'Ghost,' but we didn't mean any disrespect to Mr. Schwarzenegger.
Hanz: Ja. Well, I'm sure Arnold is not threatened.
Franz: I think not. I think not.
Tavis: A Schwarzeneggerian element. Kevin, nice to see you.
Kevin Nealon: I forgot about that phrase.
Tavis: Ha ha ha ha! Schwarzeneggerian element. We certainly have that in
California here now.
Kevin: Absolutely. All over. I can't believe they have slot machines in Vegas for it, too.
Tavis: That is funny.
Kevin: but they're doing a lot of TV shows now, slot machines, you know? I don't think they'll ever have 'Queer Eye for the Straight Guy,' though. Do you pull the handle, or do you put something in? You don't know what to do.
Tavis: Yeah, yeah, yeah. What do you make of the fact that here you were--here you and Dana Carvey were, you know, years ago, making fun of this guy, and this guy is--he's got the last laugh. He really is "The Governator."
Kevin: By the way, we still make fun of him.
Tavis: Ha ha ha!
Kevin: Yeah, it's just amazing. He's so focused and driven, you know? And, uh--and they're always-- you know--he got through everything, you know, all those accusations, and in fact, just recently, they came up with an accusation that, apparently, during the seventies, he experimented with English. Yeah. So it's just like one thing after another for him, and he just bats them down.
Tavis: Speaking of that, though. I don't know if you saw this Meet the Press interview a week or so ago with Tim Russert, and so Russert asked him whether or not he thinks there ought to be a change to our constitution that allows one who is an immigrant, you know, to run for President, and he--he didn't back off that thing. Maybe he's thinking bigger than the Governor of California already.
Kevin: Well, if anyone can get it done, I think he could.
Tavis: Yeah.
Kevin: I worked for the Special Olympics for him. He got me into this thing up in Lake Tahoe called the Winter Celebrity Fest, and, uh--and, uh, I came up there one year to do it as a favor for him, you know? And, uh, he was up there with Clint Eastwood, and the next thing you know, 8 years later, I'm the one doing it, you know? Like, every year after that. Like, for 8 years, I did it. So he's kind of--very persuasive.
Tavis: Yeah. Speaking of being persuasive, I don't know how persuasive he's gonna be on this issue of same-sex marriage. So, you know--as you well know...the whole world knows, I guess. So the mayor of San Francisco, you know, gets this thing all kicked
up. Bush responds by saying, "OK. Thanks to this guy in San Francisco, we now need a
constitutional amendment to...to ban gay marriage." Uh, but Arnold is--he stepped it up here in California.
Kevin:
perfect embodiment of marriage. You know, he's a...a Schwarzeneggerian kind of a
union, you know?
Tavis: Ha ha ha!
Kevin: You know, I think a same-sex marriage is better than a no-sex marriage, you know? Let's fight for that.
Tavis: Yeah. I heard somebody say that. Let the gay couples try it. They deserve to be as
miserable as all the rest of us who've been married for all these years.
Kevin: That's right. It's just, um...you know, it's just a matter of evolving, I think. I
mean, this is just part of the process, you know? We had women voting finally, and now it's this, and it's just, um... you know, let guys marry guys. It's thinking--literally, thinking
outside the box.
Tavis: Ha ha ha ha! That was--that was so bad. How big an issue do you think this is gonna be in this election year, though, this issue of same-sex marriage?
Kevin: Oh, I think it's gonna be--I think it's gonna be pretty big, and I love the way the
politicians squirm, you know, when they're asked that question. I just saw on the news
the other day with Kerry and Edwards when they asked them, and it's just--it's so
entertaining, because it's politicians at their best.
It's what they do the best: avoid the question if they don't know how to answer it, you know? Um, so I think it's gonna be a big--a big issue.
Tavis: So how would you answer if you were campaigning, if you were running for office? I mean, hey, it happened to Arnold Schwarzenegger. Who knows? Maybe
you're-- maybe you're Governor someday. So if this issue were on the table when you're
running, how do you respond to this issue?
Kevin: Well, you ask me the question, and I'll answer it if I were a politician.
Tavis: So, uh--
Kevin: This is as a politician would answer it.
Tavis: OK. So--so candidate Nealon, uh, what's your position on the issue of same-sex
marriage? Should we have a constitutional amendment to redefine marriage as we know it?
Kevin: Well, I think that's something for the state to decide. Yeah, another question
here? Yeah... No, I think--I say sure. Yeah. Let 'em do it. We need more people that love each other instead of hate each other around here.
Tavis: What do you make of President Bush, period? I've thrown his name out a few times in this conversation already. What do you make of this guy?
Kevin: President Bush?
Tavis: Yeah.
Kevin: Um, honestly, I don't know what to make of him. You know, sometimes I'll watch him, and I'll think, "This guy doesn't know what he's doing," you know? And it's really
interesting to see how politics works, because there's a lot in the press now about Osama Bin Laden, you know, and about the timing of it, you know. And he's really rushing to see if he can catch him. You know, he's a guy from Texas, kind of a...you know, he's got a partying past, but who doesn't, right? So, I don't know whether I trust him that much. In fact, I don't think I trust him that much. I don't think he's one of the smartest Presidents we've had. But luckily in our country we have--
Tavis: Could have been worse. Could have been Dan Quayle or somebody, like, you know...
Kevin: You know what? I used to make fun of Dan Quayle. Then I met him in person a couple years ago, and I walked away thinking he's a nice guy. He's pretty smart, too.
Tavis: Well, it's been a few years.
Kevin: Yeah. I think that always happens when you meet somebody in person. Like, your initial, you know, thought of me was dumb partier...and when you met me--
Tavis: Wow, this guy's really, really bright.
Kevin: Nice guy. Yeah.
Tavis: So, what do you think of this effort to find Bin Laden? I keep thinking--and maybe it's my own cynical, warped mind--but I keep thinking that the White House has a track on this guy, they know where Bin Laden is, and at the right moment, when the campaign really needs it... "Guess who we found last night?" in a hole somewhere.
Kevin: Maybe John Kerry knows where he is, and he's waiting. It's interesting. I always enjoy the chase. I love the chase, and I know we're gonna get him eventually. It's just like with Saddam Hussein. Every day, I went, "Where is he now? I wonder where he's hiding. Is he uncomfortable? You know, is he nervous?" And then the day they got him--I didn't know they got him, and then I was walking through a hotel lobby, and I saw the front page of the newspaper, and I saw a picture of this dishevelled, bedraggled, angry-looking guy with a beard on the front page, and for a minute, I thought, "Oh, no, Nick Nolte got another D.U.I.
Tavis: Ha ha ha ha!
Kevin: But it wasn't.
Tavis: So clearly, speaking of Nolte--Nolte's picture was outrageous for me until I saw
the James Brown photos. You saw it. What did you make of that photo?
Kevin: Well, you know...James Brown and Glen Campbell, Nick Nolte and...
Tavis: One of the Judds.
Kevin: Yeah, one of the Judds. That's what they said under her picture, by the way: "One of the Judds." They weren't sure which one it was, either. Without the makeup, you can't tell who's who.
Tavis: Yeah.
Kevin: But that should be a deterrent enough not to drink and drive or to have spousal
abuse, is just--they're gonna put your photo in the paper like that. But James Brown, he was not looking good. But, you know, how old is he? 90?
Tavis: Too old to be beating some woman's behind.
Kevin: He should be embarrassed just for, you know--
Tavis: Absolutely. Absolutely. So, OK, other issues. There are so many things to get to with you. Mel Gibson's movie 'The Passion.' Controversy everywhere around this thing. Have you seen it?
Kevin: I have not seen it yet. I have not seen it yet.
Tavis: Do you want to see it?
Kevin: Pardon me?
Tavis: Do you want to see it?
Kevin: Uh, I do want to. I'm interested.
Tavis: What do you make of the controversy surrounding it?
Kevin: I'm not good with gory films. I heard this was gory. I didn't like Friday the 13th.
Tavis: Crucifixions usually are.
Kevin: Yeah, crucifixions usually are. But I think Mel Gibson's really--he's ruffling a
lot of feathers, you know, in his career. Like 'Braveheart.' He angered the Scots, you know, and they hate him. Now the Jews don't like him. Um, I think eventually he'll be crucified.
But I think if this is a big picture, which I assume it will be. I think this will be a big
moneymaking picture. I think that he should try other things in this vein. You know, like
maybe the Passion of the Lethal Weapon 4. You know? Or Braveheart of the Christ. You
know, sequels.
Tavis: You gotta give the guy credit, though. You gotta give a guy credit who believes in what he believes, puts his money up, tells a story, and doesn't back down from it.
Kevin: Right. Right. Right. Um, I think it's great. I admire him. I wouldn't know where to
begin with something like that, you know? I guess you need a director. You'd need some
director's chairs, you know. You need some film, and you need a lot of extras, I guess. But... no, I think--I find everything so entertaining, whether it's, you know, the chase for Saddam, or whether it's, you know, Arnold running for Governor or President or this Mel Gibson thing. It's really--you don't--you can watch the news now and be entertained, just by everything that's going on.
Tavis: Yes, that's true, though.
Kevin: Yeah, yeah. Yeah.
Tavis: Speaking of entertaining news, I was at CNN the other day. I had to stop by--
Kevin: What does that stand for, by the way? I never knew what that CNN--
Tavis: Cable News Network.
Kevin: Is that what it is?
Tavis: CNN, Cable News Network. So I was at CNN the other day, and I walk in the lobby, and I happen to bump into, literally, Larry King. He turned around, "Hey, Tavis." so I'm talking to Larry King in the lobby for a minute, and I'm thinking, "Kevin Nealon's coming on this show in a couple of days..." Your impression of Larry King is, like, dead on.
Kevin: Thanks a lot. Thanks. Yeah, a lot of people do him, but he's just such a character,
you know. He's got the shoulders that are up like this and, uh, he's got that voice.
book, Keep the Faith. Tavis Smiley, he's with us here tonight. Next caller. You know,
and then his laugh is like heh heh heh-heh-heh! Heh-heh-heh! Is the paperback out yet? Is the paperback out? I haven't read the book yet, but I'm gonna read it on commercial break, our next break. Now, what about the Jackson thing?
Tavis: Ha ha ha! How did you get started? You are so good at this impression thing. How'd you get started doing this?
Kevin: Well, you know, to be honest with you, I was not an impressionist, or I didn't do
characters. I never did sketches. I did stand-up comedy. And then I got this SNL gig,
and I thought, "Well, I better start learning how to do voices and stuff." Yeah. And so I took the easy ones, you know, like Hanz and Franz, or, you know, Larry King's easy. And some people I look like. You know, Brent Musberger, all I had to do was--
Tavis: Do the thing. Ha ha ha!
Kevin: Live from CBS.
Tavis: Well, it's worked out for you. It's worked out for you. So, you got a recurring thing on The Tonight Show?
Kevin: Well, I'm one of the correspondents. Yeah, on March 3. I'm one of the
correspondents, and I'll do a different piece, like from New York, like, from the marathon.
Tavis: That's a cool gig, though.
Kevin: Christmas in New York or the Aspen Comedy Fest. Yeah. So it's been nice. It lets me kind of do what I do the best.
Tavis: Well, tell Leno to come see us sometime.
Kevin:
Tavis: Kevin, good to see you.
Kevin: Oh, good to see you, Tavis.
Tavis: Thanks a lot. Ha ha! Coming up next, actor Mekhi Phifer from the hit NBC show 'ER.' Must be, like, an 'ER' night. I mean an NBC night.
Kevin: what does that stand for, ER?
Tavis: ER. Emergency room.
Kevin: Oh, that's right.
Tavis: So I start with an SNL guy Kevin Nealon. Now I'm to 'ER.' It's an NBC night on PBS. Anyway, Mekhi Phifer's up next. Stay with us.
Kevin: PBS. What does that stand for?
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