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Full interview. (10:37)
 

Tavis: We continue our 'Road to Wealth' series tonight with best-selling author, Barbara Stanney. The latest book from the respected finance expert is called 'Overcoming Underearning. Overcome Your Money Fears, And Earn What You Deserve.' Yeah, Barbara, from your mouth to God's ears. This is the follow up best seller to 'Secrets of Six-Figure Women.' Barbara Stanney, nice to have you on the program.

Barbara Stanney: Oh, it's great to be here, thanks.

Tavis: It's an honor to meet you. Your story - I always prefer to start these 'Road to Wealth' conversations out by giving people an opportunity to tell their personal story. I figure if you ain't overcome nothing, you can't help me or nobody else where our money is concerned. Your story is really fascinating, because you happen to be the daughter of one of the guys who founded H&R Block.

Stanney: R.

Tavis: Yeah.

Stanney: Richard.

Tavis: Richard Block.

Stanney: And see, growing up, the only advice he ever gave me about money was, 'Don't worry.' Because that was the unspoken assumption, there'll always be a man to take care of me. And there always was, so it was fine with me, 'cause I didn't understand money. I just wanted to spend it. Turned out my Prince Charming, my husband, was a compulsive gambler.

And he went through a fortune of my money. And it wasn't until after our divorce I continued letting him manage the money through all our marriage, because I was just so intimidated by anything to do with financial. And when I finally divorced him, he left the country, and I got a million dollars in tax bills.

For back taxes he didn't pay, for illegal deals he got us in. And of course, my signature was on everything. And I didn't have the million dollars. So I did the only obvious thing. I called my father. (laugh) 'Daddy, will you lend me money?' And he wouldn't. My father would not lend me money. And it was at that moment I knew I had to get smart about money.

Tavis: Before I go forward, let me just back up here for just a second. Not to cast aspersion on your father, obviously, but I'm trying to figure out how it is that your father could be Richard Block of H&R Block fame, and not share with you, his daughter, more financial, more money tips. How?

Stanney: Because he was a product of his time. Bless his heart. He really did not want his girls - I have two sisters and a mother - he didn't want his girls to worry. He really believed, his generation truly believed that making and managing money was a man's job. And until he read my first book, 'Prince Charming Isn't Coming,' he read my first book and he called me up and he said, Barbara, for the first time, I realize I need to explain my finances to your mother.

It never occurred to him. So, it just, that's why it is so important, even if a husband is managing the money, that the woman understands it and participates in those decisions.

Tavis: So you call your daddy, and your daddy tells you, "Baby, I love you, but I ain't got no money for you."

Stanney: Well, he didn't exactly say I love you. (laugh) He said, "You're on your own." But it was out of love, and I know that now. I didn't talk to him for two years, but it was the best thing he could have done. Because I think on some level, we both knew it was time for me to grow up. And that turned me around. So I not only got smart about money, but I started writing about it, and I started teaching it and traveling all over the country.

But here's the thing. I had this great career going, but I couldn't earn money. I couldn't make it. I knew how to invest what I had. And then my agent suggested, "Why don't you write a book, interview women who make lots of money?" Interviewing those women changed everything for me.

Tavis: In what regard?

Stanney: Because what I saw, it wasn't what they did. It was how they thought. And when I shifted my thinking, I made over six figures, which was almost three times what I'd ever made. And then I started teaching this to other people, what I had learned. And I came up with my book, 'Overcoming Underearning.'

Which I interviewed, I give these workshops, and I've been giving them for five years. And I interviewed all these people, hundreds of people who've been through my workshop. And the results were phenomenal. Because it is, it's so much, the outer work, the negotiating, and finding the right job, and doing the job, that's really important, that's all important.

But the real work is what I call the inner work. That's looking at, exploring, examining, and changing your attitudes, decisions, and beliefs about money. And yourself.

Tavis: Okay, this title, "Overcoming Underearning,' begs the obvious question how Barbara Stanney defines underearning. 'Cause I ain't never met nobody, including Bill Gates, who thinks he underearns. Everybody wants to make more money. So how are we defining underearning?

Stanney: An underearner is anyone who earns below their potential, despite their need or desire to do otherwise. Now, that's not the same thing as a mindful low earner. That could be someone who doesn't make a whole lot of money, but makes enough. But they're doing work they love that feeds their souls. Underearning is never a conscious choice. It is never about leading a saner, simpler life.

It is always a condition of deprivation. It's not just money. Of time, of freedom, of choices. Any time it's, it's, any time anybody says, 'I want to make more money, but I can't,' they're an underearner.

Tavis: Okay, so if underearning, then, Barbara, is not a conscious choice, then how and why do so many of us end up being underearners? 'Cause I, again, can't think of anybody who chooses to be an underearner.

Stanney: But the world is full of people who said, God, I wish I made more money. And I'll tell you what I believe are the biggest reasons people remain underearners. One is we devalue ourselves. We give away our time, our knowledge, our skills, for free or bargain prices, 'cause we don't think we're worth more.

There's this little voice in our head that says, who do you think you are? No one's gonna pay you that. And another reason, and this is the biggest, I believe, is that we don't want to be uncomfortable. Every time you go to do something different, every time you deviate from the norm, it feels uncomfortable.

Tavis: But being an underearner is uncomfortable, is it not?

Stanney: It is very uncomfortable. But you know something? People would rather have things be predictable and familiar than going out. Because every time that you're here and you wanna get here, I'm earning this, I want to earn this, there is what is called the gap. It's what I call the discomfort zone. And all success, whether it's losing weight or managing money or making it, always lies just outside your comfort zone.

And it requires you to stretch, to do what you think you can't do. And you may not always succeed, but you gotta get back up and keep going. That is the number one requirement for going to that next level in earnings. The willingness to be uncomfortable. The willingness to do what you don't think you can do.

Tavis: Let me jump to, I'm not going to have time to go through all five of these steps, but I certainly want to whet the appetite of those who I'm sure are already fascinated, as I am, by this conversation, "Overcoming Underearning.' The first step in this five step plan to a richer life is to tell the truth. Talk to me.

Stanney: Tell the truth about what's not working in your life. The place to start, people say, well, yeah, I wanna make more money, but where do I start? The place to start is with a problem. Because what happens when we have problems, the tendency is to want to ignore them or to want to rush through it for a quick fix, or to just throw up your hands and say, well, that's the way it is.

But problems have a purpose. They get our attention. They're like the doorways, by simply getting clear and admitting that we have a problem, gives us access to go through it.

Tavis: You have a thing in here called the problem indicator checklist.

Stanney: I do. I do. It's quite an eye opener. This book, what I love about it is it's filled with exercises, and journal exercises, and to me, it's an interactive book. Because it really helps you get inside yourself. It really helps you look at what your problems are. And these problems could be something as small as I just don't like what I'm doing.

I don't like my job. To something as pressing as, I can't pay the rent. But it's by admitting these problems, committing to doing something about it, that that's how you go through the door to the other side.

Tavis: Step number two is to make a decision.

Stanney: That's right. You have to want to make money. You have to like money. Money's gotta be a good thing. So many of us are ambivalent about money, or the people that have it. AARP did a study, not very long ago, and they asked 2,300 adults, would you like to be rich? Forty three percent of the women, 23 percent of the men, said no.

No, because they thought money was bad, and that people who had it were greedy, insensitive, or felt superior. See, what you need, you gotta make a decision to profit. You have to have a profit motive. That is, a committed decision to make more money. Because if you're ambivalent about, or dislike it, or feel that it's evil, or it's bad, there is no way, no matter what, because you know something?

We get what we want. Not what we ask for. So if we're saying, I wanna make more money, but deep down what we really want is to be comfortable or to be liked or not to make waves, we will not get it.

Tavis: But the content, my formulation here, not yours, the content of that decision to wanna make money is wrapped, you argue, in the context of what you call values clarification.

Stanney: It is wrapped in the context, overall, of valuing yourself. Because it's interesting, when I talk to people who make a lot of money, I always ask them, like, are you doing what you're doing for the money? And 90 percent of the time they'll say no, I'm not doing, uh uh, I'm in it for the challenge, I'm in it for the passion, I'm in it for whatever. But at the same time, they darn well want to be well compensated. 'Cause they feel they're worth it.

Tavis: Tell me how we come to value who we are. How do we decide that we are worth something?

Stanney: What the book's about. That's exactly, it's about understanding who you are, your skills, and really, really telling the truth about who you are. What your skills are, what your abilities are, what you love. Doing what's right for you, not your shoulds and your musts.

Tavis: If you don't make but one resolution this year, it ought to be that you are not going to be a constant, perennial, that is, underearner. The new book from Barbara Stanney is a five step plan to a richer life. It's called "Overcoming Underearning. Overcome Your Money Fears, And Earn What You Deserve.' Barbara Stanney, nice to have you here.

Stanney: Oh, it was great. Thank you.

Tavis: It's a pleasure to have you.

Stanney: Thank you.

Tavis: That's our show for tonight. Catch me on the weekends on PRI, Public Radio International. Check your local listings. See you back here next time on PBS. Until then, good night from Los Angeles. Thanks for watching, and as always, keep the faith.