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• The Right Words at the Right Time
• Ms. Thomas on Lifetime's Intimate Portrait
• Ms. Foundation for Women
• Ms. Thomas' bio

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Tavis: I'm pleased to welcome Marlo Thomas to this program. Her stellar career as an actress, producer, author and philanthropist includes a slew of awards including three Emmys, two Peabodys, and a Grammy. Many of us remember her from the classic television series, "That Girl". More on that in a moment.

For years, she's devoted much of her time and energy to helping the St. Jude Children's Research Hospital in Memphis, the hospital founded, of course, by her father, the great actor Danny Thomas. Not surprisingly, all proceeds from this new book go directly to St. Jude. The book is called "The Right Words at the Right Time Volume 2: Your Turn". Marlo Thomas, nice to have you on the program.

Marlo Thomas: Thank you very much.

Tavis: I knew this was going to come before it actually came because you cannot have the success with the first book that you had, number one New York Times bestseller, and not find a sequel.

Thomas: That's right.

Tavis: So I'm glad this came.

Thomas: Thank you.

Tavis: The basic difference, though, between this and the first is that these are not your celebrity friends.

Thomas: No, no. The first one was all celebrities. It was interesting that, when I went on the road to promote the first book, everywhere I went, people said, "You know, I've got right words." They would tell me their right words. I mean, I'd be in the ladies room in an airport and somebody would come up and tell me their right words. So when we went to do the sequel, I thought, you know, it would be great to just do regular people because celebrities get way too much air time anyway and real people don't have a chance to be heard. I find this book much stronger in many ways.

Tavis: I was about to ask you what the distinct difference was, if any, between the two. When you say stronger, you mean by that what?

Thomas: Well, because with famous people, we already kind of know that they're going to end up okay. We know that Muhammad Ali is going to win and Sally Wright is going to go up in the spaceship. These are people who are not quite so sure what's going to happen to them and they're not all success stories. Some of them are still dealing with problems that have been holding them back and I think it makes it much realer in many ways.

Tavis: Is there a particular thread that you've discovered, celebrity, non-celebrity, known or not known, a particular thread that makes the right word or words the right words at the right time? Is there something there that makes it right in that moment? Is there a thread you found between all this good advice?

Thomas: Yeah. I think that the real thread is that you have to be open for it. Al Pacino told the story in the first book about how he was drinking too much and kind of spiraling downward. A friend of his was out to dinner with him and he was really tipping the glass a lot. The friend said to him, "Al, I just want you to be aware of what you're doing." Al said that, if his friend had said, "You're becoming an alcoholic. You should go to AA" or anything that was really judgmental, he really wouldn't have listened to it. He would have been, in a way, more defensive.

He wouldn't have seen his friend anymore and all that stuff we do when people come at us too strong. But the fact that he said those right words, that he said, "Al, I want you to be aware of what you're doing", that really struck him as something very constructive and it bothered him. He really changed his life from that. So I think that's the other thing.

You know, we always think that, if we tell somebody they're doing something wrong, they're going to be just so thrilled to hear it and that they're going to change right away. Well, most of us don't. We say, "Who are you to tell me that?" and we avoid that person. So I think a lot of it is really choosing the right words. You know, it's called "The Right Words at the Right Time" and it sounds clever, but it isn't that it's clever. It really means it's the right words.

Tavis: I know the story, but for those watching who don't know the story of how you collected this - I think it's more dense than the first one.

Thomas: It is a little, yeah.

Tavis: How did you collect all this? The cover of the book is a gorgeous photo of you sitting on the floor and you're surrounded by mail. How did you collect all this good advice?

Thomas: Well, a lot of it just came to me at first. Not thousands, but a lot of letters came to me and, as I said -

Tavis: - as a result of the first book.

Thomas: As a result of the first book, and people stopping me and telling me their stories. As they were telling me every now and then, I would jot it down and think that's a very interesting story, maybe I'll do something with that and then I decided to do it. We put a contest inside the paperback of the first book. This was coming out at the same time. We did a contest on the Simon & Schuster website. Parade Magazine called out to their readers to write in their stories.

Then I wanted to be sure that there was a diversity of people that wasn't going to just be people who read books. So we sent newsletters to the armed services, to prisons, inner city schools, fire stations, police stations. I wanted to really get out there. We have two stories from prisoners in this book and I found that really interesting.

I was interested in people who, as I say, hadn't necessarily succeeded, hadn't necessarily gotten to where they wanted to get to in life, but what were the words maybe that they didn't listen to? What were the right words that, had they listened, they wouldn't end up where they were? That's why, in many ways, I think the book is stronger for that.

Tavis: Let me put you on the spot here, but I know you can handle it, Marlo Thomas. I suspect even with a compilation like this, there are two or three things in this text that just even now stand out for you because you remember when you saw the letter how it made you feel, what your reaction was. Share a couple of stories with me that come out of the lessons in this book.

Thomas: Well, one of the ones that I liked a lot came from a guy named Tim Ciciora in Florida. He was in the Navy and he was coming home from one of the big ships in the Gulf War. He was just disgusted with the service. He felt they didn't appreciate him; they weren't promoting him the way he had hoped he'd be promoted and was kind of in a really disgruntled mood.

When he got off the ship in San Diego, there was all this sort of merchandising of the war. You know, big beer cans blown up like balloons and stuff, and he felt kind of uncomfortable about that as well. He'd been at sea a long time and his kids and his wife came to pick him up. He got in the car and he was saying to his wife that he was sick of the Navy; he wasn't going back, what good was it, they didn't appreciate him, and all this stuff.

Along the way, they were driving to visit his family. He was hungry and they stopped at a Burger King. He got out and he was in his wrinkled-up Navy uniform and his medals and everything. He went into this Burger King and ordered a breakfast for him and his wife and kids. It was twenty dollars. A young girl was the waitress. He went to give her the twenty dollars and she said, "Are you in the Navy?" He said, yes, and, oh, she's going to ask me now, "Did you kill anybody? Are you a Navy Seal?" He said he was all ready just to blast into her.

She gave him back the twenty dollars and she picked up his hand and she kissed it and said, "Thanks." He said these tears started to pour down his face. He really felt that she was speaking for a whole nation who appreciated the sacrifice he'd made, from his family to his country, and that in fact what he was doing was really because many people couldn't do it and that he had the kind of strength, the personality and courage to do it and he knew that he'd be in the Navy for a long time.

That story really made me cry. You know, whether you think about the war, whether you like it or you don't like it, you have to really support the fact that these men and women go over there and just stop their lives and leave their kids and risk their lives to protect us and to protect our way of life. I was very, very moved by that story.

Tavis: That particular story, Marlo, makes me wonder whether or not the timing of this book is propitious in that we all want to hear the right words at the right time. Maybe it's just me, but it seems like we are in a space and time right now as humans where people need to be empowered and encouraged now more than ever, and I wonder whether or not a book like this really does find its centering because the moment that we need it happens to be right now. Does that make sense?

Thomas: Absolutely. Well, you know, I think it's probably always true that we need it. But right now, I think a lot of people are disassociated from what's going on in our country. We're politicized again. We're confused. The values that we grew up we're not sure are being upheld. We're not sure who's telling us the truth, you know, so I think we are in search of the truth.

I think it's probably why reality shows are so big right now. We are looking for reality. You know, what is the truth? Who are we as a people? What I found when doing the book is that I felt encouraged. There's a lot of really good values in this book. I mean, these people came from everywhere. That's why I went out everywhere with this contest. What I'm hearing and feeling is that people are in search of what their lives mean and, no matter how they started or where they're going, what does it mean?

There's a heartbreaking story in there about a little girl whose mother beat her up all the time. She was in school and she had bruises on her legs and the teacher noticed it and called to her and said, "What is all that?" She said, "Well, I'm a bad girl and I cause my mommy a lot of trouble and it's all my fault. I make my mommy mad and my mommy has to hit me" and so forth and so on. She was about eleven years old. The counselor came in and she told her whole story. After a while, the counselor looked at her and she said, "Honey, did you ever think that your mommy might be wrong?"

That really moved me because we are told so many things in our lives as children. You know, you're too short, you're too fat, you're too tall, you're not good enough, you're not smart enough, you're not handsome or pretty enough, and we believe it. Some grownup tells us something about ourselves and we think it's true.

Muhammad Ali's story in the first book said that he had a teacher that told him he'd never amount to anything. When he went and won the Gold Medal at the Olympics, he came back and gave the teacher the medal and said, "Do you see that? You said I'd never amount to something. Well, I am something. I'm the greatest in the world." So people carry these words with them, the negative words and the positive words.

For me, it's, okay, what are you going to do with those words? If you've got negative words that told you you're not good enough for whatever reason, what do you do with those words? Do you make friends with them? Do you decide to challenge those words like Muhammad Ali did? Or the way this young girl was asked to do? "Do you think your mommy could be wrong?" Or do you take the really positive words?

I had positive words which is what inspired me to write this book. You take the positive words and put the volume up on them and use them and gnash on them all the time so that whatever your mom or your pop or your teacher or whatever said to you that really was good, that you don't forget those. You don't discard them just because they came from your family.

Tavis: You owe me a return visit. I didn't get a chance to talk about "That Girl" coming out on DVD. You didn't get a chance to say "Donald" for me. I wanted you to say it one time (laughter). We didn't talk about Phil Donahue. So many other things we didn't get a chance to talk about, but we did get a chance to talk about the new book by Marlo Thomas, "The Right Words at the Right Time Volume 2: Your Turn". Promise me you'll come back again.

Thomas: I can't wait.

Tavis: And you sign this for me.

Thomas: I will, I will.

Tavis: I'll give you a pen in just a second.

Thomas: Thank you.

Tavis: That's our show for tonight. You can catch me on the weekends on PRI, Public Radio International. Check your local listings. I'll see you back here next time, though, on PBS. Until then, good night from Los Angeles. Thanks for watching and, as always, keep the faith.