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RELATED LINKS

• Mr. Newhart's official site
• About I Shouldn't Even Be Doing This!
• Mr. Newhart on American Masters
• Mr. Newhart's bio

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Tavis: I am pleased to welcome comedy and television legend, Bob Newhart, to this program. Before there were comedy albums from people like Cosby and Carlin, there was this: "The Button-Down Mind of Bob Newhart." It became one of the biggest-selling records of all time and actually - get this - won the Grammy for Album of the Year back in 1960. You heard me right. Not best comedy album, but best album, period. His latest project is a new book called "I Shouldn't Even Be Doing This!: And Other Things That Strike Me as Funny." Bob Newhart, an honor to have you on the program.

Bob Newhart: Tavis, good to see you.

Tavis: Good to see you, man. Album of the year.

Newhart: Yeah. I was up - it beat Elvis and Frank and I found out that Frank wasn't real thrilled about the fact that a comedy album had beaten him out for album of the year (laughter).

Tavis: (Laughter) I mean, I did not know that that was the category, but I just knew that album of the year was huge for a comic.

Newhart: Well, and it won spoken words. They didn't have a comedy album category. The spoken word, Hal Holbrook or myself, and I made the record in February of 1960 and it went to number one and I was just kind of swept along by the event. I mean, I was totally unprepared for anything like that.

Tavis: What do you think happened during that time to make that happen? What was going on then that made a comedy album beat out Elvis and Sinatra?

Newhart: I think what happened was that the college kids seemed to pick up on the album. They would go to a nightclub and the guys were doing "Take my wife, please" or they would be doing mother-in-law jokes and it had no relevancy to them. Besides, it was very expensive. Cover charges for nightclubs and all, it was a expensive evening. So they would buy my record or Shelley Berman's or Mort Sahl's or Johnny Winters or Lenny Bruce. They'd get a six-pack and they'd all sit around and they'd play the record and that was their nightclub.

Tavis: (Laughter) Sounds like a great evening. Six-packs and Bob Newhart. What did that do for your career? What did this do, that acknowledgement?

Newhart: Oh, that was the whole impetus of my career. I mean, all of a sudden, a year and a half before that, I was doing a man-on-the-street show in Chicago that no one was watching. We were on sixteen weeks and we're up against Captain Kangaroo and Today and we got one postcard in the sixteen weeks. I wasn't even sure the signal was getting out of the building.

Tavis: (Laughter) But that was still competition, though, Captain Kangaroo and Today.

Newhart: Exactly (laughter). A year and a half later, I'm getting the album of the year. It was surreal.

Tavis: The story doesn't end there. That was a good enough place to stop right there, but the success of this album is so significant to the record label, they put out another album, "Bob Newhart," as quickly as they can. Both albums for a moment are number one and two and Newhart's got the top two albums in the country and that record lasted for years until it was broken by -

Newhart: - to my understanding, it lasted for thirty years.

Tavis: Thirty years until -

Newhart: Of having the first and second album until it was broken by Axel Rose.

Tavis: "Guns 'n Roses."

Newhart: "Guns 'n Roses," yeah. I found out about that and I said, 'Well, at least it went to a friend' (laughter). I just got off the phone with Axel. He said, "What are you doing?" I said, "Tavis Smiley." He said, "Say hi to Tavis for me."

Tavis: Thank you, Axel. I appreciate that (laughter). That's quite a record, though. It lasted a long time until a major band like "Guns 'n Roses" knocks you off.

Newhart: I didn't even know I had it. I found out I had it when I lost it (laughter).

Tavis: (Laughter) What a cool way to live. You didn't know you had it until after you lost it already. This is amazing stuff and I'm glad that Neal, our producer, had this in his collection to bring in to share with us. I can actually see this in person. That's quite a story there.

Newhart: That's pristine.

Tavis: Well, you know, Neal is kind of a starchy guy. The fact that it's so pristine doesn't surprise me. Speaking of history and records and longevity, I was blown away when I discovered that this is the first book you've done?

Newhart: Yes.

Tavis: Your entire career, all the material you've had over the years, records that are setting records, pardon the pun. Your first book just now?

Newhart: Well, you know, Robert Hanssen, the spy inside the FBI and they caught him selling secrets to the Russians? When they caught him, he said, "What took you so long?" Robert Hanssen and I are kind of in the same boat. You're right. I kept putting it off and putting it off and then realized that, if I was ever going to do it, I had to sign a contract and have a deadline. Otherwise, I'd still be on page one if it was left up to me.

Tavis: It's a fascinating life and, again, I was just blown away that it's taken you this long to actually do it. Take me back to the early stages of your career. So much ground covered in here and I want to pick a few things out if I can. Back to the early days. You grew up in Chicago?

Newhart: Chicago, yeah.

Tavis: When did you know or at least think that you were funny?

Newhart: People would tell me I was funny. I grew up in a very typical mid-western family. You went to high school and went to college and got a profession and then you practice your profession and then you retire and then you die. That was what everybody did. So I have a degree in accounting and worked as an accountant after I got out of the service. I worked at the Glidden Company and for U.S. Gypsum in Chicago.

One day I just said that I got to find out what people are telling me. I got to see if I can make a living in comedy. I can't spend the rest of my life wondering what would have happened if...so I took what I thought was going to be a year which turned out to be more like four years out of my life.

As a matter of fact, when I signed the contract for the record, a disk jockey friend of mine in Chicago said "I have a friend of mine who thinks he's very funny." He said, "Well, have him put some stuff down on paper." So I put some of the routines I had down on paper and they said, "Yeah, we like you. We'll record you at your next nightclub." I said, "Well, we've got a problem. I've never played a nightclub." They said they've have to find me a nightclub. That was the only thing. I mean, I didn't start out to be a standup comic. A funny disk jockey, I would have taken anything.

Tavis: To your story about all the odd jobs - not odd jobs, but jobs that you had -

Newhart: - yeah, they were odd jobs.

Tavis: Okay, fair enough (laughter). To your story about all the odd jobs that you had, you stayed at home - if my numbers and facts are correct - you stayed at home until you were about twenty-nine. I've been dying to ask you, did your parents think that was funny?

Newhart: I don't think my parents knew what the hell I was doing. I mean, I'm not sure I knew what the hell I was doing.

Tavis: But you were twenty-nine, Bob?

Newhart: I was twenty-nine. I was at home because I couldn't afford to be anywhere else. The first time I wrote "Abe Lincoln," the PR man for Abe Lincoln, I got the idea and I wrote it down on paper and I did it for my mother to see if she thought it was funny. I finished with it and she said, "Do men call other men sweetheart?" I said, "Well, in advertising, they do, mom, yeah." She had no idea what I was doing (laughter).

Tavis: (Laughter) One of the things about that story just now that comes to mind for me is that you were part of - I don't want to say a generation - but certainly part of a group. Some of the names I might mention come to mind. Carlin comes to mind, Cosby certainly comes to mind, Newhart. There was a select group of you who really transformed comedy in my generation in that you were always story-telling. It wasn't just standup jokes and punch lines.

Even today, all things considered, I see too many people who think they're funny because they can tell a joke. I can tell a joke with a punch line and make it work, but I mean, what you guys do in that story-telling mode that really does land a different way, was that deliberate on your part?

Newhart: No, that was just our way of looking - you know, like I said before, the college kids would go to nightclubs and hear "Take my wife, please" or "Burn a hole in the coat." These were all punch lines that everybody knew and everybody did. "I'll get the half that eats." Dean did that joke for his entire life.

Tavis: (Laughter) You know, I love this. You know you're talking to a comedian when all they do is give you the punch line. You know the joke. Just go right to the punch line.

Newhart: Well, that's what comedians do. The joke is, the guy says whether he's single or well-known married. He says, "I'm dating this girl - whether you're married or not. To everybody else, you're married. "I'm dating this girl and she works for a magician. He saws her in half every night. With my luck, I'll get the half that eats."

Tavis: (Laughter) I love it. All right. Back to your story-telling. How did you develop this as your style, this funny story-telling thing that you do so well?

Newhart: I don't know. I just heard it. I just hear it in my head. Obviously, I stammer and people said, you know, "Was that intentional?" My comment was that I surveyed the comedy scene and said, "Oh, look. No one's stammering out there. What a great opportunity." Larry Gilbart wrote a book where he said the comedian looked at life through a different lens and you just see things and they just strike you funny. Then you tell people on stage and they go, "Yeah, yeah, I've seen that a lot."

Tavis: What you refer to as a stammer, I certainly get that. What you refer to as a statement, I have always loved about you and perceived as timing. The timing of your punch lines and the timing of your jokes and your deliverance is important. What you're suggesting to me now, do you think that part of what makes your stuff work is this stammer which isn't even deliberate?

Newhart: Yeah, because when you stammer, people finish the sentence for you, you know? They try to help you. Like I have to go to the, to, to, to the -

Tavis: - the bathroom?

Newhart: To Burger King.

Tavis: (Laughter) I fell for that one, didn't I? I walked into that chin out.

Newhart: It's a clock inside your head. It's a metronome. It just says "Now. Do the line now." I don't question it. It's in there, so I just go with it.

Tavis: There's so many great stories in the text. I want to pull out a couple of them. The story of Richard Pryor. The story of his meeting you backstage one time. Tell me about that.

Newhart: Well, I was talking to George Slaughter and they were going to salute Richard with the Lifetime Achievement Award. I was telling George what a huge fan I was of Richard Pryor. We work a little differently, though (laughter). He destroyed me. He absolutely destroyed me. So he said, "Would you like to narrate his life and then present this award to Richard?" You know, his life was just a horrible life. I said, "I'd love to." So I narrated this film of his life.

He was in the wheelchair, so he couldn't come up on the stage to accept it. I announced that he'd won the Lifetime Achievement Award and then we went to commercial and then I came down - this was at the Beverly Hilton. I was standing next to Richard and gave him the award. So then we went to a press thing afterwards. He and I were sitting there and they're taking shots.

Richard looked at me and said, "I stole your album." I said, "What, Richard?" He said, "I stole your album. Peoria. Went into a record store and stuffed it in my jacket." That's the way he said it. I said, "Well, you know, Richard, I get twenty-five cents an album." He said, "Give me a quarter. Somebody give me a quarter."

I was like the fifth recipient of the Mark Twain Award. Richard Pryor was the first recipient of the Mark Twain, which was so appropriate because what Mark Twain did at the turn of the century was to introduce America to the frontier, the Mississippi River. Richard Pryor did it in 2000. He introduced America to the inner city and the city life and the colorful people. In a way, they did the same.

Tavis: I got to ask you. You started to answer, now let me ask just one more question. I'm fascinated how a guy who does - you made the joke earlier about how you guys work differently - but how a guy like Newhart ends up appreciating a guy like Pryor. For that to happen suggests that comedy, on the one hand, is universal and what's funny is funny. On the other hand, it suggests that there are different styles and that can be an asset for you.

Newhart: Yeah, it's one musician listening to another musician. You take the language away and the concepts are just so rich. I mean, "Mudbone" is an American classic. That's Mark Twain. When I was playing Vegas and I'd be playing for three or four weeks, I'd start to get like depressed, oh, I've got to do another show. My wife would always get the Richard Pryor album. She'd play it for me and I'd laugh and I'd say, "Okay, I'm ready to go." I had my fix and I'm ready to go out (laughter).

Tavis: (Laughter) I'm ready to go out. I'm glad you said that, Mr. Newhart, because if "Mudbone" is an American classic courtesy of Richard Pryor, there are any number of classic scenes courtesy of Bob Newhart. I've got a couple in my own head, but I'm curious as to what you think in retrospect, with humility, of course, would have to be among the Bob Newhart classics, the bits.

Newhart: Probably "Abe Lincoln" because it's more true today than it was forty years ago with the spinmeisters.

Tavis: How about "The Driving Instructor?"

Newhart: "The Driving Instructor" is now politically incorrect because it's a woman driver.

Tavis: Still funny, though.

Newhart: It's funny (laughter). I'll tell you what I do. I say a woman driver and there's always this murmur from the women. Why does it have to be a woman? So I say, "Okay, I'll tell you what. If you're sensitive, it was never my intention when I wrote this, but if you're sensitive, it doesn't have to be a woman driver. I will make it a Chinese driver." So I sit down and go . Then I say, "Look, I can do eight more minutes of this or I can make it a woman driver."

Tavis: (Laughter) I suspect the response is the same every time you do this.

Newhart: Well, we have to laugh at ourselves. You know what I mean? Being politically correct, we lose our national sense of humor.

Tavis: Let me follow up on that and ask whether or not you think that that political correctness gets in the way of comedy today.

Newhart: Yeah. Well, gays are funny, heterosexuals are funny, men are funny, women are funny, Chinese are funny, kids are funny. We're all funny, you know. People are inhibited to say what's funny.

Tavis: If you were starting out today, given the political correctness of the world we live in today, would Bob Newhart have become Bob Newhart?

Newhart: I don't know. We were considered edgy when Lenny Bruce, Johnny Winters, Shelley Berman and myself - we were called the sick comedians because that's what comedy does. Comedy is always pushing the barriers. It's always opening up. There were sacred cows when I started out and they aren't sacred anymore. They've exploded.

Tavis: "The Bob Newhart Show." Everybody else has commentary about that. I've got my own, but this is not my show - well, it's my show. It's your conversation - everybody has their own commentary about what "The Bob Newhart Show" was, what it did, where it rested in the great pantheon of great shows. When you look back on "The Bob Newhart Show," what does Bob Newhart think about those years?

Newhart: Well, it was, first of all, great writing and then it was a great cast, a super cast. Let me give you an example. Bill Daily was the pilot, the permanently jet-lagged pilot. Emily and I are throwing a party and it's July 4th, so Marcia shows up in an Uncle Sam outfit and then Peter Bonerz shows up in an Uncle Sam outfit. The next thing you know, Billy comes in with an Uncle Sam outfit. Marcia says, "You know, it's really funny that we all rented an Uncle Sam outfit." Billy said, "What do you mean, rented?" He owned an Uncle Sam outfit (laughter). It's just great writing. That's what it was to me.

Tavis: (Laughter) How often do you go on stage? Do you still do stuff like that?

Newhart: I do about thirty one-nighters a year.

Tavis: Do you still enjoy it, I take it, because you're still doing it?

Newhart: Yeah.

Tavis: What, after all these years, do you still enjoy about getting on that stage?

Newhart: Well, when you go through - you know, getting there is the worst part. It's going through security and - we went to New York to promote the book. We went on the TSA website to find out the things you couldn't take onboard the plane. You know, the lotions -

Tavis: - three ounces, the clear bottle, oh, God, yeah.

Newhart: So they sent us a whole page. It was interesting reading it because like you can't take torches onboard planes anymore. Don't try it. You're going to have to put that out. And hand grenades. You cannot take a hand grenade. That's what's so insane about - that's what keeps me going. What if I saw something and I had nowhere to do it? I mean, I have to find a place.

You know, you're out there and it's working and the people are laughing and you just say, "What's better than this?" I mean, there are more important things to do like doctors and people that dedicate their lives to finding cures. There are all those things, but, boy, getting laughs is a narcotic.

Tavis: You're hooked, obviously.

Newhart: I'm hooked (laughter).

Tavis: And the rest of us are supporting your habit after all these years (laughter). After all these years, Bob Newhart, believe it or not, has finally written a book. It's called "I Shouldn't Even Be Doing This!: And Other Things That Strike Me as Funny." Perhaps he shouldn't be doing this, but I am awfully glad that he did and still does at least thirty of those dates a year. Bob Newhart, what an honor to meet you.

Newhart: Thank you, Tavis.

Tavis: Thank you for being on the program.

Newhart: Thank you.

Tavis: That's our show for tonight. You can catch me on the weekends on PRI, Public Radio International. Check your local listings. I'll see you back here next time, though, on PBS. Until then, good night from Los Angeles. Thanks for watching and, as always, keep the faith.