E-mail a friendKirk Douglas
airdate April 13, 2007
Kirk Douglas is as much an institution as an actor. The 3-time Oscar nominee has appeared in more than 80 films. He's also written three novels, two children's books and four memoirs, including his latest, Let's Face It, in which he describes his journey from poverty to stardom. A social activist his entire life, Douglas defied the McCarthy blacklist and received the Presidential Medal of Freedom. At age 90, he's determined to reach America's younger generation by using the Internet to spread his message.
Kirk Douglas
Tavis: I'm honored to welcome Kirk Douglas to this program. The legendary actor has been a household name for over fifty years during his stellar career in Hollywood. Along with his many accolades, including three Oscar nominations, is the Presidential Medal of Freedom he received back in 1981. His new book is called "Let's Face It: Ninety Years of Living, Loving and Learning". Mr. Douglas, what an honor to have you on the program, sir.
Kirk Douglas: Thank you, Tavis. With that big introduction, I felt a little bit like I would then (laughter).
Tavis: (Laughter) I laughed when you walked out. Mr. Douglas walks out on the set and there's a little step here and Brian, our stage manager, attempted to help him up on the platform. He looked Brian dead in the face and said, "Don't treat me like a ninety year old man." I love it. I love it. So I'm glad to have you here.
Douglas: Thank you.
Tavis: "Ninety Years of Living, Loving and Learning". I don't know where to begin because there are so many stories in this book. Let me start with something I found actually funny. Along with this book, you have a MySpace page.
Douglas: Yes.
Tavis: Ninety year old Kirk Douglas has a MySpace page and on your MySpace page is a bunch of fun facts and interesting anecdotes about you. One of the things I found humorous was that you want to meet Angelina Jolie?
Douglas: Yes (laughter). I'm a good friend of her father and I admire all the things that she's doing. He said, "Why don't you tell her?" I said, "Someday I will."
Tavis: Someday you will (laughter).
Douglas: Well, you know, Tavis, you see, although I've written nine books, this is my last book. I really am not a writer. See, I considered myself an actor, but I like to write because you get to play all the characters. Young, old, women, so I think of the scene and I say, "Kirk, that's terrific" and I write it down.
Tavis: (Laughter) How have you navigated these past few years of being known by an entire generation - some of the young folk on my set, you know, the first thing they said when they knew you were coming was, "Oh, that's Michael Douglas's father." So I assume you've heard that for the last thirty years pretty regularly.
Douglas: Yes, yes. The first time that happened to me was where a beautiful girl came up and I thought, "Well, she's wanting an autograph." She looked at me and said, "Michael Douglas's father."
Tavis: (Laughter) Of course, everybody knows Michael is your son. You talk, though, rather poignantly in the book about the loss of Eric, your other son.
Douglas: You know, Tavis, I was not going to write about my son, Eric, who died from an overdose. Then I thought, no, if I write about my feelings, it might help other people who have experienced that because, you know, they talk about closure. There is no closure. You just learn to live with it because you constantly say to yourself, "What could I have done?" or "What did I do that I shouldn't have done?" and there are no answers.
I visit his grave at least twice a week and it makes me feel better. I also wrote it because I was amazed, Tavis, at how many people in our industry their son or daughter have either committed suicide or die from an overdose.
Tavis: I hear your point that, unlike a house, you never close on the loss of a loved one, especially of a child, and particularly to a drug overdose. When you say you just have to learn how to live with it because you don't close on it, how do you navigate life after burying your own child? How do you go forward?
Douglas: It's difficult and it's always with you and it's part of life, you know. When I read the papers and I see how many young soldiers were killed, nineteen, twenty, twenty-one. My son died at forty-five. At ninety, forty-five is very young. But you have the memories. I have so many pleasant memories and my wife and I always say we think we knew he had a problem and he had been in so many rehabilitation places.
I don't think that anybody cures himself unless they want to because they say the three C's. You didn't cause it, you can't control it and you can't cure it. Eventually, it's up to the person. It's one of the tragedies of life. People have bigger tragedies and have learned to cope with it, so you cope with it.
Tavis: Speaking of coping, this is our first time having a chance to meet, but I have admired you from afar for many years, most certainly since having the stroke. I know so many people, and we all know people, who end up having a debilitating experience like the one you had.
Particularly for one who has been seen as this handsome actor for so many years on the stage, the last thing that person wants to do is to be seen struggling trying to communicate, trying to be understood, and you come out so courageously and do it consistently. Why do you do that?
Douglas: Tavis, a stroke for especially an actor, when I first had my stroke, I couldn't say the words. So what does an actor do who can't speak? Wait for silent movies to come back (laughter)? And I'll tell you, you have to joke about it. Humor in my book, I write a lot about humor. Humor is so essential.
Because of the stroke, I had a suicidal impulse and I realized that suicide is very selfish because you're only thinking of yourself. How about the people that you leave behind? So I have found, when I had a stroke, that the way to deal with depression is to try to think of other people or other causes. Try to get out of yourself and that will help solve depression.
Tavis: Thank you for sharing that. There's a picture that came up on the screen a moment ago of your lovely wife of how many years now? You'd better get this right. I don't want you to get in trouble when you get home.
Douglas: (Laughter) Well, it's not hard for me to remember because three years ago, we celebrated our fiftieth wedding anniversary and I married her again.
Tavis: Yes, and I was going to ask you that. So three years ago, to your point now, you celebrated fifty years and you married her again.
Douglas: Yes.
Tavis: I read somewhere that you did it a second time because the first time you thought was a catastrophe.
Douglas: It was.
Tavis: Why?
Douglas: I was shooting "20,000 Leagues Under the Sea". At that time, you worked six days a week. So Saturday night, we went to Las Vegas. The place for the licenses is open almost twenty-four hours a day. It's closed one hour. When we came, it was just the hour that it was closed (laughter). So all my friends took me and we were shooting craps and my wife said, "I'm never going to get married."
Finally, we got the license and went up to a suite and we were married by a guy called Honest John Lytel. He was a Texan with a six-inch hat. My wife, who I met in Paris, but she speaks five languages. I said that she speaks English very well. I said, "Repeat after me. I take thee, Kirk, as my lawful wedded husband." And he says with me, "I take thee, Kirk, as my awful wedded husband." (laughter).
Tavis: (Laughter) My awful wedded husband (laughter).
Douglas: So it took me fifty years, but the second marriage was very lovely.
Tavis: I know you've been asked this a thousand times. I'm sure you've been asked this by everybody except me, so here's my chance. So what's the secret? Fifty-three years now. What's the secret?
Douglas: Well, the first secret is you have to make sure you have married the right person. If you have married the right person, Tavis, it takes a lot of understanding and forgiving. And one other thing, she is beautiful.
Tavis: Yes (laughter).
Douglas: What my wife went through with me, I'll tell you. In my book, I have one chapter that's "Romance Begins at 80". I think, for me, it made me do all the things that I should have done years ago. I won't list them now, but I list them in my book, but they were very romantic. And when you're older and more mature, you're not so narcissistic. You can think of the other person, the one you love. You think more of them and that makes you more romantic.
Tavis: Let me go back to where we began our conversation. There's so much in this book that I can't even scratch the surface on this. I want to go back to the beginning. You have lived to be ninety. Again, this subtitle of "Ninety Years of Living, Loving and Learning". I've had people come on this program before who've complained about aging and other folk who think aging isn't such a bad thing. Talk to me about aging, whether or not you recommend it.
Douglas: First, what's the alternative (laughter). Listen, I have been through a midair collision with a plane and two young people were killed. When I was in the hospital - can you understand me?
Tavis: I heard it. I got it the first time.
Douglas: I felt so guilty. I was seventy-five years old and one of the persons that was killed was eighteen. He was getting ready to go to his prom. Why am I alive? I had a friend, Mike Todd. He was a very good producer. He was married to Elizabeth Taylor and he was a neighbor. He asked me to fly with him in his private plane because he was getting an award in New York and wanted me to present it. Oh, I was delighted. I said, "Certainly." Liz couldn't come because she had the flu.
My wife said, "I don't want you to go. Why don't you take a commercial flight?" I said, "That's the fun of it." We had an argument. I said, "Okay, I won't go." The next morning, I was not talking to my wife. Over the radio came the news that Mike Todd's plane went down and all aboard were killed.
I mean, see, you can't outguess life. Things happen the way they're supposed to happen. At ninety, I feel life because I have reached the age where I don't get so wrapped up in myself. You begin to think more of other people and how you can help them especially.
Travis, right now, I dedicated my book to the young persons. Let's face it, the world is in a mess and those young people are going to inherit that mess and we should do anything we can to help them because they're going to have quite a problem. I'm ninety years old. Listen, I'm living on the house's money (laughter), so I'm lucky.
Tavis: (Laughter) I have said before that some folk are legends in their own minds and other folk are legends in their own time. Kirk Douglas fits squarely into the latter. The new book from Kirk Douglas. He said it's his last. I'm not sure I believe that. But it's called "Let's Face It: Ninety Years of Living, Loving and Learning". I could have done this for hours. I am so delighted to meet you and so grateful to have you come on the program.
Douglas: Thank you, Tavis.
Tavis: I've learned from this conversation.
Douglas: I wanted to make one observation. You have more pretty women working for you. I was amazed. Everywhere I see.
Tavis: (Laughter) There's pretty women all around here, huh?
Douglas: Yes.
Tavis: He's ninety, he still hears good, he still talks good and, most importantly, he still sees really good (laughter).
[Film Clip]
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