HEALING & SUPPORT

Help Grieving Families

For those who are not directly affected by the costs of war, it is difficult to grasp fully the experience of those who are.  When a family loses a loved one, the future suddenly looks very different. Family members need time to grieve, not only for the loved one but also for all the things that “might have been.”  We naturally want to help these bereaved families, but don’t wish to intrude upon their privacy at such a difficult time. Chances are, such families would appreciate and benefit from the support of their community, but simply may not be ready to ask for it. 

Go ahead and reach out with a definite idea in mind of how to help.  For instance, you could say, “I have three hours on Monday and I am coming to baby-sit.  If you’d rather I do something else, let me know!”  Something like organizing a “job jar” of needed everyday tasks is a wonderful way to get more people involved in helping our grieving military families. Be specific in your offering, but also be ready to listen and help as the family’s needs change.  Remember too that holidays can be difficult, so be sure to be in touch at those times. 

To better understand what grieving families may be encountering, visit The Grief Zone and “Ask Helen” sections of the The American Hospice Foundation’s website.

It is also very important to let these families know that their fallen loved one will not be forgotten.  Sharing memories of a loved one is a wonderful tribute.  Be willing to spend time listening to families express their thoughts, if they would like to relate them.  You can also encourage them to submit their remembrances and their own story of grief over the loss of their loved one in the Read and Submit Eulogies section of our website.  If requested, their eulogy will be hand-carried to the appropriate military memorial site during a ceremony of honor and respect performed by clergy.

To research available services for grieving military families visit the Find Resources for Soldiers and their Families portion of our site.

Dianne Wiest shares the letters of Gina Barnhart, who sits at her son Erich’s grave in Arlington Cemetery’s Section 60 every Sunday and writes to him.

REFLECTIONS

“We read of those fallen in the daily newspaper ... and then we just go our way.  It seems to be almost remote for most Americans.  The [2007] Memorial Day Concert was reflective ...and I think the recitations were the most beautiful part.  I began to realize that there is a Mom, Dad, Sister, Brother, friend who truly knew the fallen soldier.  I only hope that as Americans, we can appreciate the gift we have of living in this country.  Free, only because our fellow American surrendered a life.”

Thomas Heling
WI