healing & support

Cope with Losing A Loved One

Help Your Child

How to Help Your Child
If the fallen soldier has a family, the grief is complicated exponentially.  The grieving spouse has the additional responsibility of caring for the children and helping them cope with the loss and change in their lives.

Helen Fitzgerald (CT) recently retired as the Director of Training for the American Hospice Foundation. For 23 years prior, Fitzgerald was the coordinator of the Grief Program for Mental Health Services in Fairfax County, Virginia. There she conducted many groups for grieving children, including one for pre-schoolers.

From this background, Helen offers assistance on how to approach this situation.

The information in my Guidelines pamphlet offers a way for you and your family to keep the memory of your loved one alive and close to your hearts.  It is a place for all of you to remember and to share … My thoughts and prayers are with you as you journey through your grief.  My gratitude goes to your loved one who gave his/her life making our country safe.

Parents and caregivers, the best thing you can do for your grieving children is to offer loving support.  Hugs and touch are so healing.  Listen to the child in your care and really hear what he or she is saying.  And create times for your children to feel safe to talk about whatever might be on their minds.

Find out more by reading: Guidelines for Parents to Help Their Children Through Grief.

Other helpful resources are also available on the American Hospice Foundation’s website, including Military Kids Responding to Grief and Our Loved One Died Serving Our Country, a participatory way for the entire family to honor a fallen loved one.

Dana Palmer (right), whose father was killed on September 11th is comforted by actress Caitlin Wachs, who shared Dana's goodbye letter to her dad on the 2002 Concert.

REFLECTIONS

"When I hear of the death of someone in the military, I know that it is more than the death of one person, it is the death of many people, of the family, and that no words are the right words. Wives, children, grandchildren's lives are apart, as in my family; there is a sadness that will linger for many years to come."

Tina M. Aden
MO