"
Now that we have obtained dead-cat-bounce in underlying book value of equities how can we finally obtain a dead-cat-bounce in long bonds before the end of the Mayan Calendar, Soothsayer?
"
"
The Russians are now selling all the Чај-Bonds in China, Consul Torvus, this will temporarily cause long rate hike which should allow bonds to bottom during Februarius. Then auction precious few bonds to watch the bond rally begin.
"
"
Lupercalia
!
"
"
You bet your Palatine Grotto, Julio.
"

"
Now that you have reached quantum immortality, what can you see within the great beyond Dreaded Caesar?
"
"
I can see all the way to the end of the Mayan Calendar. But I have some questions. When my economy is desperately seeking a dead-cat-bounce, what do I then do, Sooth old boy?
"
"
You step on it.
"
"
Squelch my own economy?
"
"
You bet your bouncing bottom, Julio
"
"
Thus I simply withdraw all artificial economic supports and stimulants. I allow prices to deflate naturally. I allow capitulation of all hope. I allow the chips to fall to their natural place in life. Thus all the players can reevaluate accurately what things are real, what are imaginary, and which have a coefficient of i. I got it.
"
"
Death is a new life, Julio.
"
"
Life is a limbo bar. How low can you go, M2 velocity?
"
"
Get down
!
"
(2B continued)

"
The Ides of March are here Soothsayer.
"
"
Nihil Novum. I heard that one already. You got any new ones?
"
"
Stop me if you heard this one already, Sooth old boy.
"
"
Angelus de caelo descendit aliquot praecepta habens. Gallum quendam rogavit unumne cuperet.
"Quid dicit?" ait Gallus.
"Noli adulteria exercere".
"Non cupio".
Itaque angelus Germanum rogavit unumne cuperet.
"Quid dicit?" ait Germanus.
"Noli interficere".
"Non cupio".
Deinde Judaeum appellavit unumne cuperet.
"Quanti?" ait Judaeus.
"Gratuito" ait angelus.
"Decem habebo", ait Judaeus.
"
"
What a hoot. That was a knee slapper, Julio.
Always funnier with an underlying element of truth.
"
"
What is the news from the underworld?
"
"
I got some good news and I got some bad news.
"
"
The bad news is == your friends will be stabbing you today from all directions
The good news is == within Minkowski time space you will attain quantum immortality and the movie rights to Quo Vadis.
"
"
Any more bad news?
"
"
My speciality is bad news. The Chinese are angry about your troops from Londinium starting up another opium war. And they are getting wise to your Ponzi scheme. They are now selling all the Tea-Bonds in China.
"

"
The ides of Lupercalia is here Soothsayer.
"
"
Yea Caesar, but the ides of Labor Shortage is not yet gone.
"
"
But how we can possibly prevent dreadful rising labor costs in the face of the looming labor short-fall?
"
"
Pretend Senatorial Gridlock on all tax relief for the plebeians. This will allow less M2 velocity thus slowing expansion thus preventing wage-labor spiral of inflation.
"
"
But the problem could only become worse as the retirement of boomers becomes more apparent to all the players. Rising global temperatures will make workers fall asleep at the helm of industrial operations. New inroads by present day infestations and endemic epidemics of disgusting communicable disease will knock out more and more experienced workers until we are left with an economy paralyzed by rising wages.
"
"
Best to propose more stimulus plans described by astronomically huge numbers of denarius that we no longer have in the treasury of the Senatus Populisque Romanus. Then conveniently stall on actual implementation of the idiotic proposals.
"
"
Thanks, Sooth old boy. May I have another crustulum?
"

"
Perigee is here, Soothsayer.
"
"
Yea, Caesar, but flu season is not yet gone.
"
"
When flu season is over, will I be then safe from deadly fever?
"
"
Provided that you:

1. extend daylight savings time for another month into winter

2. you do not sell your Lucrative Municipal Bonds.

But just in case you do not make it safely through flu season, Consul Torvus, better to fatten up your immune system. Beware of that lean and hungry look of Cassius.
"
"
Quo ad crustularium vado
?
"
"
Don't forget your fluoride.
"
"
Thanks for the inflation protected TIPS.
"
"
No guarantees from the management.
"
"
Your disclaimer is going to get your throat sliced and diced?
"
.
"
Beware, the Ides of Looming Labor Shortage
!
"

Annus Horribilis, The Movie

"
We now return you to Raul Harvey News
"
"
Today is Perihelion and January 10-11 will be Perigee. These gravitational waves may cause unusual consequences on Earth.

And now you know the best of the story!

Page 3!
"
Click
"
Suzanne, do you want me to shingle the roof today or dig hole for new compost pile?
"
"
You haven't mowed grass for a month of gibbouses. Why you don't do that before the snakes crawl in for hibernation season.
"
"
Great idea! Wow that Raul Harvey News Guy sure puts a listener to sleep. He just drones on and on. I feel as though I were drifting into King Arthur's Court for a nap in Yankee Stadium. Snore -- Snore -- Snore
"
fade out suburbia
fade in Forum Romanum, Ianuarius XLIV BC
enter Soothsayer
enter Dreaded Caesar, Julius
"
"
Perihelion is here, Soothsayer.
"
"
Yea, Caesar, but Perigee is not yet gone.
"
"
When Perigee is over and I have cleared my peristylium of all the Perigee Party Debris, will I be then safe from assassination?
"
"
Provided that you do not step into a San Andreas Fault or sell your Long Term Government Bonds that you bought from most dependable government in the world.
"
"
Governments have become dependable? You are kidding!
"
"
Additionally, when you are walking through the Forum Holitorium don't trip on your toga and spill your cranberries.
"
"
Thanks for the TIPS.
"
"
No guarantees from the management.
"
"
Now where I have heard that before?
"

Let's hope it's once in a lifetime...otherwise my kids will never get to college!