Money & Marriage
Thursday, May 04, 2006SUSIE GHARIB: They say love and marriage go hand in hand. But add money to that equation and entire relationships can, and almost always do, entirely change. Tonight, NBR`s home economist Brett Graff talks to money and marriage experts to find out how best to deal with your joint financial future, before the issue becomes explosive.
BRETT GRAFF, NIGHTLY BUSINESS REPORT CORRESPONDENT: Sharon Harvey Rosenberg and her husband Avi are totally in sync when it comes to money issues. They both forget to pay the phone bill.
SHARON HARVEY ROSENBERG: It does create like an undercurrent of, like how could we do this again, you know what I mean? And you`re as angry at your self as you are at the other person so it doesn`t always create the most -- we always got along -- but it doesn`t always create the most, you know genteel you know, hospitable relationship. It puts a little edge on things.
GRAFF: Love and money: the combination is private, complicated and sometimes explosive.
COURTNEY KNOWLES, EQUALITY IN MARRIAGE INSTITUTE: You`d be amazed how many times we hear from couples that are five, 10 years into a marriage and have suddenly discovered they have totally different views for their financial future.
GRAFF: Even couples blissfully in love have money issues. It`s an area where opposites often attract.
OLIVIA MELLAN, PSYCHOTHERAPIST: Couple relationships, it`s a polarizing dance of opposites, so even if two spenders meet and marry or get intimate, they`ll fight each other for the super spender role and the other one will learn to save or set limits by comparison or they`d be bankrupt in four minutes.
GRAFF: According to Mellan, hoarders marry spenders; money avoiders marry worriers; money monks marry amassers; risk takers marry risk avoiders; planners marry dreamers; mergers marry separatists. Or, couples will polarize around different priorities. I might be less convinced if my husband and I didn`t fit into four of those six categories. Incidentally, I can justify every purchase and tend to prefer the word visionary over dreamer. Nevertheless, us opposites could one day be facing financial consequences. Hoarders married to spenders could work well into their golden years. If a worrier dies, the avoider will find themselves in financial hell. And even a couple happily putting away money could have different views on how to use it. So asked separately, how would in-sync Sharon or Avi use an extra thousand dollars?
AVI ROSENBERG: I`d probably spend part of it on the house, and part of it on a vacation.
SHARON ROSENBERG: I`d take the kids out for dinner. I`d buy us season tickets for the heat (ph).
GRAFF: Talking about and understanding each others financial values is key to building a lasting financial relationship.
ELLEN SIEGEL, CERTIFIED FINANCIAL PLANNER: When you compromise, when I compromise I feel like I`m giving up something. What I want to do is collaborate. How do we both get that which is important to both of us? How do we work that one out? And how we work that one out is when we understand where each other is coming from.
GRAFF: And that`s priceless. Brett Graff, NIGHTLY BUSINESS REPORT, home economist.
