Topic: Have you struggled to reconcile your sexuality and your religious beliefs?
Posted By:
Date: 08 Aug 1998 7:50 PM
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Responses:
Subject: religion versus homosexuality
From: jan
Date: 09 Sep 1998 11:13 AM
I once struggled with this, but quit the struggle due to two factors:
the Bible is translated by humans with their prejudices - hence,
errors. There are many things the Bible says not to do - wear blended
fabrics, women are not to be heard, etc. Why pick and choose?
Subject: Picking & Choosing in the OT
From: Charlie, an ex-Catholic
Date: 06 Jun 1999 1:09 AM
Some people who put down gays with the infamous quotes from
Leviticus & Deuteronomy do so without ever bothering to look at those
parts of the Bible, thereby acting like hating parrots who consider
themselves superior to some human beings.Others, such as sanctimonious
members of the Radical Right apparently deficient in elementary
Christian love & charity as well as in human respect & common decency,
have actually opened a Bible to those two books, maybe have actually
read each word of every dictum in those 2 portions of the Holy Book.
They are _incredibly_ selective in their picking and choosing-- the 2
verses they preach are an extremely minuscule portion of those texts.
Those 2 books deal mainly with codes of behaviour and the proper way to
make animal sacrifices to God. I never have heard them condemning those
who do not follow certain dietary restrictions. Nor have I heard them
criticze those who do not follow, or even take seriously, all the
elaborate rules regarding a proper animal sacrifice to God. Those
expounders of truth and righteousness don't even mention that God, as
proven in the Old Testament that they so seriously invoke, requires
worship in the form of proper animal sacrifices!Such people also preach
"family values" while "kicking" some people (gays) out of the family--
sometimes all too literally. They remind me of what The Inca told the
Conquistadors who condemned him to death after he paid his huge ransom
of gold and who encouraged him to be baptised so he could go to heaven
rather than to hell. He asked one (Pizarro?) if Christians are in
heaven. Upon being told yes, The Inca said he would rather go to the
"other place".These guilt- and hate-mongers make life more diffucult
for gays as well as make it easier for some people to conclude that at
least one variety, if not all Christianity, is false.
Subject: keeping secrets
From: rick conner
Date: 09 Sep 1998 6:26 PM
i thought about it it was hopelessi never liked girls, so when all my
friends started to like them around 15yo i just got new friends maybe
2-3 days wounderning
Subject: KEEPING SECRETS
From: DICK CONNER
Date: 09 Sep 1998 7:33 PM
I WAS BROUGHT UP A CATHOLIC i DIDN'T CARE ABOUT THE RULES THEM SO IT
DID'NT MAKE ANY DIFFERENCE ABOUT BEING GAY TO ME.
Subject: sexuality and religion
From: mark hetherington
Date: 09 Sep 1998 2:05 AM
Like many others, 8 years of Catholic school and being an altar boy, I
was exposed to the tremendous hypocrisy inherent in the Church as an
institution. As an adult, I learned to separate the basic tenets of
Jesus and dismiss the Church as being unnecessary. Thomas Paine and
the Deist movement showed the lack of necessity of such an overwhelming
organization, designed soley for political power, social control, and
the attainment of wealth. Nothing to do with real religion or God.
When I came out at the age of 28, the process in and of itself required
self-honesty. Once I had concluded that I was a good person, a moral
person, and a gay person, and that none of those things were mutually
exclusive, I also decided that any god that had supposedly made me in
'his' likeness, must have either been gay or really liked gay people,
because he made so many of us. And, we are so much like the Jews, his
chosen people and his son, Jesus Christ -- all outsiders, persecuted
throughout history, just for being who they were.
Once I realized
that God loved me as much as anyone else and that the relationship was
one-to-one, Church issues and religion became soley socio-political
organizations that have seemed hell-bent on my suppression, diminution
and marginalization. Then, organized religion became mostly an enemy.
When certain belief systems demonstrated an understanding of
homosexuality, I accepted them as valid and worthwhile. Any
reconciliation is due on the part of the organized religions, not from
me.
Subject: Keeping Secrets
From: Thom Pryor
Date: 09 Sep 1998 11:15 AM
Work: I came out at work once. At first it was OK. I didn't get
jeers or cat calls or blatant negative reactions. However, I was a
supervior of a check processing unit and everytime I went to my boss (a
Asst VP of Operations) about a personnel problem (understandable and
common in a production environment such as check processing), her
response was "I think this has something to do with you being GAY".
Before coming out, I was a respected member of the team. Afterwards, I
was the GAY GUY that is too sensitive.
HOME: My Dad is a big time
bigot. My mom is supportive of me as a person, but refrains from
discussing my personal life. They've met some of my boyfriends and
accepted them just as they accepted my wife (now, ex-wife, of course).
The fact is, though, my being GAY embarrasses them and I don't need to
slap them in the face with the issue. So, I just don't discuss my
private life with them. They both come to concerts of the Gay Men's
Chorus that I sing in, they just don't talk about that part of the
concert. I love my parents (for the most part) and know that I can
count on them if I need something, just as they know they can count on
me the same. SILENCE IS GOLDEN.
Subject: silence
From: J. Henshell
Date: 11 Nov 2000 5:04 PM
Silence is poisonous it just takes longer to kill you than any
collection of petty insults.
Subject: sexuallity and Religious beliefs
From: Joe
Date: 09 Sep 1998 7:45 PM
It is just one part the coming out process. I struggled with it for a
long time off and on. I come to the conclusion, everytime, that God
made us the way we are. I celebrate the Diversity of God's world!
Subject: religion vs. homosexuality
From: Susan Spaulding
Date: 09 Sep 1998 1:22 PM
I have been reading a fascinating book -- a compilation of essays by
gay men in America relating to faith and religion in their lives. The
book is Wrestling With the Angel: Faith and Religion in the Lives of
Gay Men, editor Brian Bouldrey, published by Riverhead Books. I have
been most impressed with the wide range of feelings about faith and
religion and the disparity between what those concepts meant to a child
growing up and an adult facing issues like same-sex relationships,
coming out to family, friends and co-workers, losing relationships, and
losing partners to AIDS. One essay is about a man whose concept of
love and sex seemed to be formed by his physical relationships with
priests as a youth. Another essay quotes a prominent and respected
rabbi who feels that the act of sex is for procreation. Therefore,
people who chose to make a life relationship with a person of the same
sex should adopt children to compensate for the "spilled seed."
I
have been very heartened to read about people who have managed to keep
their connection with God or a higher spiritual presence even in the
face of family, church, society, government and history telling them
they cannot be part of "God's creation" simply because they prefer to
love a person of the same sex. For those people who are still
suffering from the discrimination and pain of rejection by all those
who should be embracing them, please try to remember that religion was
created by man. God knows you and loves you, regardless of what you
hear from the puplit.
Subject: Religious/spirituality issues for a gay youth
From: Stephen Shea
Date: 09 Sep 1998 12:32 PM
Being the son of a minister of Jehovah's Witnesses has given me perhaps
a different experience than most lesbigaytrans persons of faith. I
have gradually come to believe that my homosexuality is not a big issue
for my God, being neither inherently positive nor negative. The
important thing for me is that I use my sexuality in a responsible and
caring way, a credo to which all sexually active persons should adhere,
whether hetero-,homo-, or bisexual. Unfortunately, the staunch views
of my biological family have heretofore made reconciliation impossible.
Subject: Religion
From: Rocky
Date: 09 Sep 1998 4:52 PM
Indeed...a struggle! How does one grow up and believe ina God and then
be told he hates you? It takes a long timeto develop that special
relationship with the God who is onethat can and does love me and not
one who's names is used to promote fear, hatred and most of all raise
funds for so-called Christian churches. No, my God love me andyou.
Subject: Keeping Secrets
From: Jon A. Leslie
Date: 09 Sep 1998 9:45 PM
I was raised in a strong Lutheran family. One thing that my family &
congregation always taught me was; honesty. If you can't be honest with
yourself, how could you possibly be honest with anyone else. I was
never ashamed or repressed in my sexuality. I am grateful that my
family & friends always have supported me (even if they may have
disagreed with my lifestyle).
Subject: Sexuality and Religion
From: James P. Owens
Date: 09 Sep 1998 9:38 PM
It is not only in the gay and lesbian community that religious beliefs
and sexuality are at odds. In the Roman Catholic Church, belevers
struggle with questions regarding masturbation, contraception,
sterilization, abortion, and so on and so on. The Church seems
unbending in its position against any expression of sexuality outside
of a marriage act open to conception. But, within the church, many
(perhaps most) catholics have resolved the difficulty in an internal
forum. The appeal to conscience and the freedom of conscience which
the church teaches takes precedence over the current teaching of the
magesterium when there are conflicts. Of course, there are not many
places where one can be public about such a stand without incurring the
wrath of the great and the psychic flaming stake of the great unwashed
conservative masses. The church thinks in centuries. Who knows, maybe
one day she'll catch up with her founder who taught and practiced
unconditional love. May God give peace and serenity to all who are
troubled by these matters. In God's Love, Jim Owens
Subject: god's love
From: pb
Date: 10 Oct 1998 11:21 AM
God's love is unconditional - He loves with a perfect love. God loves
the sinner (that's why He died on the cross), but hates the sin. We do
have a responsibility of conforming to God's moral call on our lives -
Christ did. He loved those who were estranged and in sin, but no
where in Scripture do you find Him saying that the sin is aok. The
Samaritan woman who came to the well knew that He loved and accepted
her, but she also know that she was acting sinfully. Christ's
instruction to her was "go and sin no more" She that day celebrated
her forgiveness, and the implication of the passage is that she
repented and no longer embraced her sinful practices.
Subject: positivity !
From: Kees (NL)
Date: 10 Oct 1998 9:34 AM
If being gay is a sin, it is like the inhereted sin we all have: there
is no choice being gay or not. So, still IF it is a sin, it will be
forgiven, like all other sins.
If it is not a sin, it is just a
capacity we have, and make the best of, like feeling moody in the
morning or having extremely good hearing!Take advantage of your
capacities!
Subject: positivity
From: pb
Date: 10 Oct 1998 11:14 AM
You confuse two separate issues. Being gay is not sin, just as being
an alcoholic is not sin. We may have a propensity toward sin (here is
the point) yet that does not mean that we must engage in the temptation
and thereby sin.
Since when does ones orientation have anything to
do with God's moral call. The word is clear that orientation is not
sin, but the activity is (2 Peter and Jude). You are correct in
celebrating God's forgiveness, but His forgiveness does not end with
the removal of guilt. His forgiveness begins a process of life-change
whereby we become more like Christ each and every day, which means
that we must repent (turn away ) from those sinful practices which
brought us to our previous state. This whole issue of forgiveness is
not just in regard to this issue, but has to do with any sin (for sin
is sin - there are no degrees of sin) that needs to be confessed,
forgiveness sought and received, and repentance embraced.
Subject: Keep faith alive...
From: Reggie
Date: 10 Oct 1998 11:53 AM
For those of us of historic faith... who may have given up on religious
groups, but haven't given up on God, we're reminded that among the many
things Christ came to accomplish... He came to lift the fallen... and
to heal the brokenhearted... even when the broken-heart belonged to a
Samaritan. You know... those worthless, scroungy "dogs". History
records that those of Samaria were judged to be the designated
"out-casts" and politically correct objects of hatred by the
God-loving, institutionally encrusted religious of His times. My reply
to those in our day who struggle with their own sense of inadequacies,
be they gay or straight, is: The critics and judgmental will always be
around. Critics be damned! Who cares? Who REALLY cares about their
pronouncements? Who even cares what they think? The Apostle Paul
reminds us: Christ came for the UN-godly. For me, that's good news. I
can relate! Honestly, He didn't really come for all those perfectly
self-right, godly folk we meet. Why? Just listen to them. They give us
the impression they hardly need someone like Him. They're perfect
already or at least perfectly content within themselves... already. It
is interesting to note that the one who prayed: I thank my God I'm not
like that other guy... it also says.. NOT to God... but to himself he
prayed that prayer.
If you, like most normal folk, struggle in faith
to be known of God... then you're in good company. Paul also had his
contemporaries and critics and needed to write: Henceforth, let no man
trouble me... I bear in my body the marks of Christ. He belonged to
Christ. Christ... not the critics died for him. Hey, the critics
haven't and wouldn't even die for a gnat. Paul told them to back
off.
Let nobody trouble you. Why if they could... they'd crucify you
and me to a cross in a minute, but God is... and will be MY Judge...
thank you very much! I bear in my body the marks... of Christ. I'll
serve Him.
And by the way... that's good news, too! My best efforts
serving Him fall terribly short of perfection... but I will be
judged... not on my merit... but by Christ's merits. I have been
reconciled to God... certainly NOT through the critics... but through
Christ!
So join me! Hold to God's unchanging hand... trust HIM again
today... and find encouragement. He came for me... and you!
Subject: Keeping Secrets
From: Paul Mankelow
Date: 10 Oct 1998 5:06 PM
For years, I was afraid that the God I had been introduced to as a
youth was going to punish me for being Gay. Then, a miracle...I
managed to let through a clear, concise thought through the decades of
misinformation. Religion is based on a bunch of fairy stories,
originally passed down around ancectral camp fires, to try to explain
why we are here. These primitives could not possibly know the truth,
so they made it all up; these stories sounded exciting, and they also
kept people in line, with their nice morals. Also, human beings are so
egotisical that the idea of our bodies just stopping and then rotting
is to much for us...unlike every other damn creature on this earth, we
have decided that if we play by certain "rules", we live forever! How
powerful, how useful, now we don't have to be scared that we are only a
fragile organism, no better or worse than any other amoeba that crawled
out of the pond. Don't we feel superior?After having this moment of
clarity, religious beliefs have not concerned me...however, if I die
and find myself in front of a man in a white bedsheet, and I conclude
that this gentleman is St Peter, watch me grovel!!
Subject: The Shortest Verses
From: Forrest
Date: 10 Oct 1998 5:58 PM
I grew up in a very strict Southern Baptist Church -- no movies, no
dancing, no dating. So you can imagine the difficulties of being a
young gay man living in this type of environment. I was very active in
our Missions groups and our Youth singing group, so it was quiet
difficult to have to turn my back on this when I decided to come out.
It was my life for so long. But I felt that God knew who I really was.
I struggled with what people quoted from the Bible and how they
perceived homosexuality. I fought quite often with my brother about my
orientation. He said it was a choice. I said nobody would choose to
be discriminated against, hated, depised, spat upon and any other
number of things that gays continue to face. I finally came to a place
of comfort and peace with my religion when my neice and nephew were
born. My brother is raising them in the church, and I respect his
choice. But I realized that children -- just as I was -- are taught
their first two bible verses for their brevity -- "Jesus wept." and
"God is love." That's when I knew. It doesn't say God is conditional
love. It doesn't say God is normal love. It doesn't profess that God
is straight love. But simply, God is love. If a child can learn a
lesson so simple, then why can't adults. I know my view may be
simplistic, but it's what I feel is true. Nobody knows until their no
longer on this earth as to what death holds. But I truly believe that
living a good life -- honest and open, helping others and treating
individuals with honor, respect and love carries more weight in God's
eyes than by who I spend my life with. God is love and that's good
enough for me. Anything I'm doing wrong, I'm sure I'll answer for in
heaven. On earth, I just live by the simple verses of a child.
Subject: your message
From: Anne
Date: 10 Oct 1998 12:44 AM
God Bless you and Keep you!!Your attitude of caring and showing God's
love for us all DOES make a difference. I am a hetero mother of three
and wish more people felt like you do.
Subject: sexuality reconciled to religion
From: Anne Babson
Date: 10 Oct 1998 11:22 PM
All women face a conflict between what is acceptable to organized
religion about their sexuality -- nothing except the power to procreate
-- and their own sexual experience. Lesbians and bisexuals certainly
have a tougher time of this than straight women do, but the penalties
are ultimately no less harsh for being a truly independent heterosexual
woman. That women own their own bodies is a relatively new idea in our
culture, after all, so it is no surprise that all sexual acts chosen
freely by women are shocking to organized religion.
Sometimes I
think that our concept of sin heightens the fun of it all. Maybe I'm
like Mae West. One of my favorite things about my sexuality is that it
pisses some people off. I was told by a woman who grew up in Hindu
culture that there is an expression for the way a sexy woman moves --
men say, "She makes the Gods nervous when she walks." What a wonderful
power to have over the Gods! I've been trying to walk that way ever
since.
Subject: geligion&sexuality
From: isaac hart
Date: 10 Oct 1998 11:51 AM
i fail to see how anyone can consider themselves christian if they are
gay. i myself am gay, and i have struggled with the idea that
homosexuality is a sin. i don't think that i ever chose to be attracted
to other men, and i can't see a problem with it if i don't choose it.
if christianity is true, however, then i must believe myself a sinner
for my lust, which is not a choice. isn't the definition of sin and act
that is wrong and is done deliberately?
Subject: Christianity and Homosexuality
From: Mark Fielding
Date: 10 Oct 1998 5:07 PM
Hello Isaac. I am the Music Director for the Metropolitan Community
Church of Austin in Texas, and up until May of this year, I held that
position at our church in Toronto, Ontario, in Canada, my home
country.I am what's referred to as a "cradle Catholic", which simply
means that I was born into a family that was (and to a certain degree
still is) actively Roman Catholic. I spent much of my developing years
(13-23) attempting to come to some resolution between my blossoming gay
identity, and my love of the church. I was lucky, in that I found
something important that kept me there, and made me question what was
being forced on me. I found a love of the music that is currently
coming out of the post-Vatican II council changes that have been going
on for the past 30 years.
As a result of all this questioning, I
have been blessed to learn that the message in the Bible is not what
I've been told all along. What I am refering to is the rhetoric around
some kind of code of conduct with specific rules and regulations that
must be followed and adhered to. I have come to understand that the
Bible is not the literal Word of God, but in fact a wonderful
historical text, in which is found much that makes good common sense
(don't steal, don't kill, don't hate, just love). However, there's
also a lot that is contradictory (for instance, in one place in the Old
Testament God is reputed to say that a man must marry his brother's
widow, and in another, God apparently says that this is a very serious
sin), and a lot that is currently outdated (check out anything that
speaks of slavery for instance -- even Jesus Christ, rather than
telling his contemporaries that slavery is sinful - currently an
overshwelmingly popular viewpoint - tells slaves and masters how to be
good and effective slaves and masters, apparently condoning this
institution)
There are many Christian churches out there who are
reclaiming the Bible from the Religious Right (or Wrong - LOL) and the
Fundamentalists. The face of Christianity has never been a static one,
it's one that has always been constantly changing. I am grateful to be
a part of something that is changing it for the better.
Also,
Christianity is by no means the only path to happiness, enlightenment,
or anything else it has claimed to be in the past. I happen to have
learned much from the B'hai faith, the Jewish faith, Buddism and many
others, many of which come out of the very non-Christian eastern
traditions. And then there's the newer spiritual teachers that have
been coming up in the past decades. Some of these people have been
identified with the "New Age" movement, but since I really don't know
what "New Age" is supposed to be, I don't feel comfortable labling
anyone with that title.
UFMCC (the Universal Fellowship of
Metropolitan Community Churches -- our denomination) is a Christian
denomination with a specific ministry to the gay/lesbian/bisexual/trans
community and we can be found in countries all over the world, and most
American States. However, we are by no means the only ones doing this
work. There are many "mainstream" churches who are stepping forward to
support the rights of our community in the name of Social Justice, and
some of them are doing it against the interest of their denomination
(Austin's University Baptist Church has lost the right to call itself a
"Baptist" church because they openly welcome homosexuals in their
church, and even do Holy Unions), and there are even some denominations
who have adopted a policy of "affirmation".
I hope you will join
with me in my happiness that there are so many of us attempting to
reclaim an institution that has historically been so homophobic. I
encourage you to explore a local MCC if there is one close to you. You
may also want to speak with the pastors I have worked with at the two
churches in Toronto and Austin. They are both scholars of
homosexuality and the Bible, and can shed a lot of light on the
misunderstandings that exist.
MCC Toronto can be reached at
(416)406-6229, and the pastor's name is Rev. Brent HawkesMCC Austin's
number is (512)708-8002, and our pastor's name is Rev. Ken MartinMy
number at MCC Austin is (512)708-8033, and I'd like you to feel free to
call me, or email me whenever you'd like.
Boy, I get long-winded
when I really believe in something. One last thing -- I'd like to
refer you to a book and the author of this book. All of his books are
exceptional. He is Bishop John Shelby Spong (of the Episcopal/Anglican
church), and his newest book is entitled "Why Christianity Must Change
or Die". Very good book.
Be well.Mark FieldingMinister of Music,MCC
Austin
Subject: reply to isaac
From: camilla nhamercedes
Date: 10 Oct 1998 8:39 PM
Friend, the bible that i have read, as translated in the Greek, which
is the earliest still-existant translation, does NOT say that
homosexuality is a sin; where it may seem to refer to that, I have come
to understand that the references are actually against PAGAN practices
of sexuality IN worship OF 'false idols'. Since I come from a
beginning of paganism myself, this creates a problem for ME, but
hopefully it can help clear up things for YOU. I also want to refer
you to the passages in the bible, old and new testaments, about Joshua
and David, Ruth and Naomi, and Jesus and 'The Beloved Disciple', who
was the young man John. Jesus also healed the Centurion's young male
loveslave, when He obviously knew what the type of relationship was.
He didn't even speak a word of condemnation then, when He certainly had
a prime opportunity! If you'd like to know more about this, you can
access the website of the fundamentalist church i attend which openly
affirms same sex relationships and believes that they are founded in
God-centered Love just as much as any heterosexual relationships
are.the webaddress is: http://www.geocities.com/WestHollywood/8454/
and I believe you'll be able to contact one of the pastors through
email from there. God bless you.
Subject: Assemblies of God VS Homosexuality
From: Bud
Date: 10 Oct 1998 2:52 AM
I was a member of AG in a Deaf church and I felt very confusing because
of my sexuality and God. But...now, I am beginnin' to see...I don't
see why can we be who we are...and God accepts us. Anyone who was
AG...please email me at dirkx01@stcloudstate.edu
Subject: Religion vs. Sexuality
From: Fred
Date: 10 Oct 1998 3:34 PM
No
Subject: Struggles
From: benford
Date: 10 Oct 1998 4:04 PM
Struggles, yes it has been much. I have always had an innate
spirituality, and the awarness of the longing to love another man. My
struggling began as I tried to express my spiritualiy in the boundries
of religion, which had no place for what was a part of me. Especially
within the religions beliefs of Christianity which is born of the
dominating illusions of non-indigenious cultures. As I have grown,
both in my understanding of my "same gender love"(not just same gender
sex) orientation and my maturing spirituality. There is no struggle.
Spirit makes no difference in people or things. It is the essence of
the love that matters not who is recieving it.
Sexual preferences
and the concern for, or dislike of, is all a part of "Maya", an Indian
term meaning the illusion of life.
Subject: Gay Christian is NOT an oxymoron!!!
From: Judy Dale
Date: 10 Oct 1998 6:51 PM
Christ's love and salvation is for ALL of us. Christ NEVER spoke out
against homosexuality!!!I urge you to contact your nearest Metropolitan
Community Church, visit, talk to the Pastor, if you question God's love
for you as a Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, or Transgendered person. Go to
http://www.ufmcc.com for more information and to find your nearest
MCC.God loves you and created you just as you are!!!
Subject: My past
From: Vinny Wong
Date: 10 Oct 1998 1:03 AM
I grew up in a very religious environment. I never have doubt about my
religion until I started to develop sexual attraction to men when I was
12. I was horrified and troubled. Now, I won't say I am completely ouf
of the shadow but I am proud to admit I am gay. I think there is a
meaning for me to be gay. Being gay let me to see world in a wider
prospective, to be more understanding to the needs of other, to be more
considerate, and patient to things I may not understand.
Subject: struggle
From: a.ward
Date: 10 Oct 1998 8:12 AM
Decided on straight marriage.Had4 cildren.Conservative Jew.Knew all
along that I was born gay butput it aside.Survived nasty and
humiliating divorce.Came upon agay friendly Episcopal church.Met
present companion.Relocated and joined equally loving church.Am
eucharistic minister.Keeping my secret for all of those years actually
reaped havoc.My children are now "back" after cooperating in my
victimization.Although I am no longer "secret",I am active in
gayaffairs but not "in your face out"indiscriminately.I feel that it is
unnecessary at work or with my family.I answer queries directly but
keep privacy.Jesus is my friend and as long as I can love him and have
faith in His lovemy daily life is full.
Subject: Keeping Secrets
From: Judy Hakala
Date: 10 Oct 1998 8:37 AM
I was 41 years old before I told ANYONE that I was a lesbian. That was
2 years ago and the last 2 years have been the best years of my life. I
was raised in a fundamentalist Baptist church. I am thankful for the
spiritual grounding it gave me, however, all my life I felt I had to
hide who I was and I do blame the church for that. Fortunately, thanks
to the Metropolitan Community Church, I have found a place where I can
be myself AND practice my spirituality. I also found my wonderful
partner there. Not everyone is so fortunate. The church is
responsible for turning many, many people away from God.
Subject: Religious beliefs and sexuality
From: Lupe
Date: 10 Oct 1998 10:10 AM
I havent had a problem with religion and my sexuality. I have always
seen it as follows: My sexuality is a part of me. God loves me. He
loves the package, the whole, my moods, my loves, my sexuality, all of
it. I do too.
Subject: keeping secrets
From: jamie c.
Date: 10 Oct 1998 7:21 PM
The oldest son of an Independent Fundamental Baptist Minister, I have
always known God in my life. However, at 14 I informed my parents that
I was "different" from other little boys. I liked men? The scripture
flowed and the beating commenced. Where was God in all of this? I
prayed that God change what he had made, but somehow I felt that He was
playing some cruel joke on me. I still knew that I liked men. So,
that was my big decision. Should I be Christian, or gay? I soon
started looking everywhere else for a spiritual being to be in
relationship with. In Navy & in Long Beach, CA I did find a place
where both could be manifested in me. I found salvation, again with
the Rev. C. "Dusty" Pruitt and MCC Long Beach (of the Universal
Fellowship of Metropolitan Community Churches). Praise God for
reaching out to me, again. I affilliated with MCC for several years,
serving as a simple Deacon for various churches around the coundtry.
But, for the mere sake of formal education and the love of liturgy, I
recently have crawled back into my closet (per se) and now, more than
15 years later I am studying for ministry, myself at a major
conservative seminary. Continuing to live and learning to survive with
HIV/AIDS (since 1983) God has continually provided health and wisdom
and now, I am hoping to give back to Him all that He has given me, in
my humble and modest way.
Subject: Church
From: Jere
Date: 10 Oct 1998 7:01 PM
Unlike us, God does NOT make mistakes! We were created by God, we are
loved by God, Christ died for us, we did not CHOOSE our sexual
orientation and we are ALL welcome at MCC (Metropolitan Community
Church). God's love IS unconditional!!! Check out their main
headquarters web site at http://www.ufmcc.com There are over 300
congregations in 19 countries around the world. I met my husband at
MCC and the blessings have been non-stop for both of us. Praise God!!
Jere & Robert Mack-Clauser
Subject: answer to religion ?
From: Camilla Nhamercedes
Date: 10 Oct 1998 8:48 PM
For access to a fundamentalist christian church which has as part of
its mission statement a commitment to the acceptance of same sex
relationships as being founded in God-centered love, as well as access
to email and an 800 phone number for pastors and teachers, go to the
website for RAY OF HOPE church of Syracuse, NY:
http://www.geocities.com/WestHollywood/8454/ God loves us
ALL.
Subject: Keeping Secrets
From: Sarah
Date: 11 Nov 1998 10:58 AM
I find it ridiculous to think that there's an all-powerful being who
hates gays. Why would it care? How exactly is it harmful?
Subject: all powerful being
From: rob weyandt
Date: 11 Nov 1998 6:39 PM
The all Powerful being " God ", does not hate gays.... People without
compolete training and with their own weakness' hate gays. God thru
Christ taught LOVE, Love does not hate, therefore anyone who hates
gays, is not of God. Go to any Metropolitan Comunity Church ( Mcc
started in 1978 I believe ), You just hang in there and call your hot
line for information on mcc in your area...... love rob
Subject: struggled with religon and sexuality
From: r weyandt
Date: 11 Nov 1998 7:09 PM
Yes, Have done exaustive review/research with Hebrew, Chaldee and
Greek Dictionarkies with Biblical books, verses etc. when Christ was
asked about divorce. He refers to Our weakness and for this cause we
were permitted to divorce. He goes on to state "as it was in the
beginning, meaning as Adam & Eve, Male, Female, so that we can
procreate. all of this study but I am still gay. so..........
Subject: religion and struggling with identity
From: Katherine Jones
Date: 11 Nov 1998 12:12 AM
I admit my religious upbringing was very lax. O.K., I had to do most
of it myself. And I think that is partially why I had a minimal
problem with reconciling my identity with my religion. A principled
person, with strong ethics and morals, I do not believe in some eternal
consequences to our acts, but believe strongly in the immediate
consequences of our actions. I have made a very conscious effort to
think through my basic principles. I have not had a problem.
Subject: religion and sexual orientation
From: Patty Smith
Date: 01 Jan 1999 1:23 PM
Yes...I definitely struggled with this one! But, oddly enough, it
wasn't my sexual orientation I struggled with, but my religion! I was
raised Roman Catholic, and after trying off and on for years as an
adult, I decided that I just couldn't reconcile those differences. Two
years ago, I joined a Unitarian Universalist church where I've found a
wonderful, open and accepting spiritu
Subject: Religion
From: Alan Fischer
Date: 01 Jan 1999 1:21 AM
Having been raised catholic I had a learned self-hatred that I needed
to overcome.Luckily I feel I have a lot of common sense whick allowed
me to reason that most of what religions say God would care about makes
no sense. I beleive God is beyond most of our petty differences. He
wants us to get over them too and learn to live together happily. Gay,
Straight etc. People in love can not be a bad thing. I can no longer
identify with the Catholic religion but I do beleive stro
Subject: Religion
From: Alan Fischer
Date: 01 Jan 1999 1:22 AM
Having been raised catholic I had a learned self-hatred that I needed
to overcome.Luckily I feel I have a lot of common sense whick allowed
me to reason that most of what religions say God would care about makes
no sense. I beleive God is beyond most of our petty differences. He
wants us to get over them too and learn to live together happily. Gay,
Straight etc. People in love can not be a bad thing. I can no longer
identify with the Catholic religion but I do be
Subject: Religion
From: Alan Fischer
Date: 01 Jan 1999 1:27 AM
Yes I had problems dealing with Catholic faith vs. being gay but I
decided that for God to hate me for loving someone made no sense. I
think that he would have more of a problem with me hating people I
don't even know just because they are different th
Subject: The Path
From: April
Date: 01 Jan 1999 2:40 AM
God's first commandment to Moses was to love Him. The eleventh
commandment Jesus gave us was to love one another. There is no
intermediary between me and the creator. There is just my prayers. For
all I know, we got the message ahead of the crowd. Aren't we
functioning to bring His love to life?
Subject: well said
From: Rainey Crockett
Date: 08 Aug 1999 10:32 PM
I wanted to respond to your comments about bringing this love to life.
I feel within my heart that this is the absolute truth. Inmy
understanding our faith is a personal ,individual thing between God and
ourselves. I spent most of mylife trying to live up to what others
told me was the right way. No matter what circumstances have changed
inmylife I know that God knows me and my heart and I know without a
doubt that he chose me to love inthis way. Being a lesbian is not
something I chose. I still have not chose it though am now finally
accepting this as who I really and truly am. I do feel in all
sincerity and with total peace that God has blessed me with this
identity. I also feel we are here to love and learn to love above
everything and just maybe alot or even all of what happens in this
world is a part of this big master plan to see only love. Walk only in
love. In all things we should love. The problem is not that people
are chosing to love the same sex. The problem as I see it is that many
people have lost or never really found the ability to love each other
and when they see people who love in a way they cannot they react
negatively and sometimes with great hostility. To love as I see it
isnot to say we must never be affected by the ugliness we see. I see it
likethe more ugliness abounds the more we lose our grip on our ability
to love. Like this big tug-of-war. Maybe the less we love the more we
need to see how our lack of efforts in love or failed efforts in love
is really what is causing all of the hate. I have spent my life
searching for God's love and trying to understand why he wants me here
in full knowledge that I am gay. Though Ihave denied myself this
personal acceptance until now I have always come to the same conclusion
that this idea of God detesting homosexuality is just another form of
an attempt to try and control the masses. Conformity keeps everyone in
place and free thinking was so dangerous for so long and now it has
been forgotten why people started blindly following organized religion
all this time. Of course these are only my opinions but I do feel that
I have total peace inmy life no matter the trials I have and will face
I have peace that my God loves me and he loves all. I do not need to
go to church to see this. I just go into my own heart and all that I
have spent years learning is made understood with peace. I do feel the
gay lifestyle is chosen.. But I feel it has been chosen for us by God
when we were created. And no matter howmuch the small minded wish to
throw judgement I still have peace that it is my spirit God cares about
not my sexual preference anymore than what sexual position I prefer
most.
Subject: Autobiographical Comments
From: Richard T. Nolan
Date: 03 Mar 1999 10:57 AM
I am a retired Episcopal priest and college professor born in 1937. My
partner and I became a family as college freshmen in 1955. We
suspected that both church and state were incorrect in their notions of
homosexual orientations. And, now, of course, we know that this was
the case. In the early years we certainly had to hide our relationship.
Now we are quite "out" - even in our West Palm Beach 99% heterosexual
community of 1,000 households as well as in the Episcopal Church -
whose official clergy directory includes Bob in my professional
biography. Likewise, in my entry in the Marquis WHO'S WHO IN AMERICA
Bob is listed as "life partner." We've come a long way, yet there is a
long way to go before equal citizenship - both in the state and
religious groups - is a reality. Ignorance stil abounds, as indicated
in the slaughter of Matthew Shepard and in uninformed remarks by
incredibly limited people like Rev. Falwell and Robertson. But, given
the recent, slow progress, there is hope!
Subject: Religion and Sexuality
From: Michael Harper
Date: 03 Mar 1999 8:22 AM
I knew something was "different" at a very young age. Didn't take long
for me to realize that I liked Tarzan more than Jane. Got involved in
my family's very fundamentalist church, and learned to hate myself.
The "love of God" was always follwed by how undeserving we are of that
love. I was going to become a minister. I later realized that this
was out of hope that God would change me. I survived and met some
wonderful (Episcopalian) Christians that truly believed that God loves
us and I now believe that it is a slap in God's face to put conditions
on that love. My concept of faith is basically this...if we are truly
God's creation, then there is what I call a "spark of the Divine" in
all of us...Our faith then is to help kindle that spark in ourselves
and each other. My partner is basically an agnostic, but I do see God
in the love that we have found and continue to find in each other.
Subject: god does love you,
From: catherine mirabito
Date: 03 Mar 1999 9:37 AM
I agree with you, God's love is unconditonal. There is nothing that we
can do to earn His love. He just loves us, no matter what. I am
ashamed that you did not feel that love in Christianity. But, love has
to have regulations. God has set boundaries for us to live by, just as
we do our children. That is why the Bible is specific about
homosexuality. God's plan is for man and woman to become one. If you
do not believe that, just look at our physical makeup. Our design is
perfect for man and woman to be together. I do believe that you have
misunderstood the meaning of unconditional love. Unconditional love is
God loving us in whatever state we are in, and us abinding by his
rules.(The Bible) We cannot do it by ourselves, that is why he sent
Jesus Christ to die for our sins. We can't earn our salvation, it is a
gift, but we can refuse it or accept it. I am sure that I have
offended you. That was not my intention. I was so disappointed about
your experience as a child and wanted to defend true Biblical
Christianity.
Subject: the bible is silent on homosexuality
From: scott
Date: 07 Jul 1999 7:46 PM
The bible speaks of the condition we know as homosexuality "not at
all"!
In biblical times they didn't know of such a human condition.
It was suposed that all men and women were heterosexual and that
homosexual acts were a deviation from their natural orientation. All
supposed references in the bible to homosexuality deal with gang rape
and idolatry, which is just as bad for heterosexuals.
The bible also
admonsishes heterosexuals much more than the supposed homosexual
quotes.
The bible is a great book, but it was written by men,
inspired by God. Inspired by God doesn't mean that God put the words
in their mouths. They were still men. They still had the beliefs of
their cultures, and the world around them shaping their understanding
of the world. Science wasn't as advanced then as it is now. Until the
last 200 years, the church still taught that the earth was flat.
One
must look at the bible in the context in which it is written, learn
about the ancient languages and cultures, and then interpret what it is
saying.
Jesus' two commandments were these, Love God, and Love your
neighbor as yourself. He goes on to say that all the laws of the
prophets are based on these two laws.
LOVE is the answer! AMEN!
Subject: sexuality and religion
From: Flower
Date: 03 Mar 1999 12:19 PM
I know of many Lesbians who have been brought up into the Unitarian
faith. I, having been brought up as a Roman Catholic,have denounced
this faith, and have even looked into the Unitarian faith. It doesn't
suit me. I feel drawn more towards the Native American spiritual and
Buddhist beliefs. It is not about Gay issues but more towards feminist
womyn issues of why I left that Catholic faith. My belief that I should
not have to serve any man. For all we don't know...Mary could have
been raped, as a young virgin gurl there for no man.
Subject: Relion
From: Tykeshia L. Jackson
Date: 03 Mar 1999 12:14 PM
I can not say that I agree with your beliefs, but then again they are
yours.However, I feel exactly where you're coming from. I believe that
God is nieghter man nor woman but a greater being much more beautiful
than both with a love that's forever. And that's what I glorify and
honor! I hope this reaches you in
the best of health,wealth and love sincerely
blessed Kesh
Subject: Roman Catholic Teaching
From: PS
Date: 06 Jun 1999 6:13 PM
I am a life-long Roman Catholic and have tried to be as orthodox as
possible. Unfortunately, our religion is greatly misunderstood - which
is probably why there is much hostility against its teaching on
Homosexuality. This is the best way I know how to explain it.
We
must love all of God's people regardless of sexual orientation. The
true issue is not sexual orientation, but celibacy. In this way, the
Roman Catholic Church does not discriminate. Heterosexuals are subject
to celibacy as well as homosexuals. Sexual "activity" outside the
context of marriage is wrong.
Marriage is defined as a lifetime
contract between a man and woman for the purpose of unity and
procreation. Even though it is possible for members of the same gender
to have strong emotional bonds between them, the necessary
qualifications of "unity" and "procreation" cannot be achieved.
Therefore, marriage is not an option for homosexuals.
In conclusion,
the Roman Catholic Church effectively views homosexuals the same as
heterosexuals who will never get married. Logically, both must remain
celibate. Admittedly, this teaching is not an easy one; But it is
possible. I personally know of two people who are homosexual and have
chosen celibacy. One is not Catholic; the other is a Catholic Priest.
Subject: Roman Catholic Teaching
From: Russ Ty
Date: 08 Aug 1999 12:38 AM
I continually find it interesting how churches, especially the Catholic
Church, have preverted the original intent & meaning of the bible so
that they are able to marginalize & demonize gays & lesbians rather
than admit to their own lack of Christianity. I grew up with this
inconsistency, but didn't really have the background or understanding
of this issue until I read a short book called 'What the Bible Really
Says about Homosexuality' by Daniel Helminiak. It's a compilation of
several scholars research into the original meaning of the phrases that
supposedly condemn homosexuals. You should read it & learn from it. I
can't even say it's a matter of interpretation, rather than of faulty
translation & intentional misrepresentation by the churches. Shame on
them. And as far as I am concerned, until the churches accept their
culpability in this matter, I will have nothing to do with them.
Subject: I came out in Confession!
From: Scott Graham
Date: 06 Jun 1999 9:30 AM
After struggling for years with my sexuality (almost getting married --
because that was the thing to do), I finally entered into a gay
relationship. Facing huge conflicts between my religious views and who
I knew I was I decided to reach out for spiritual guidance.
Like a
good Catholic, I chose to do this during Confession. As it was the
80's, I opted for face-to-face confession. I told the priest my story
and afterward he told me expressly that God didn't hate me -- God just
hated what I did. I asked him how I could seperate what I did from who
I was -- and after a few minutes he responded, "I guess in this case
you can't."
So I asked him what to do and his one-word response was
"celebacy." I started to get emotional and stated "That's not fair!"
The priest told me, "We all have our crosses to bear, son."
I just
looked at him. Then he said, "Look at me, I'm celebate." I stood up
and yelled at him, "First of all that's your choice, and second you're
such at fat f**k no one would sleep with you anyways!" and storm out of
the Confessional room.
I have never been back...
Subject: Being Gay in a Mormon Culture
From: Randal Meyers
Date: 06 Jun 1999 5:44 PM
The Mormons have an extended history of persecuting homosexuality.
They took up the cause of 'curing' homosexuality as American culture
became more tolerant. Mormons used shock aversion therapy treatments
on frightened young men at Brigham Young University, and through
programs in their social services, even after it had been proven not to
work. Having lived all over the USA, I have not met as many damaged
gay people as I have in Salt Lake City, Utah. I have been one of them.
Mormons are actually changing their position somewhat and working at
creating a denial of their own past. For future generations of people
who love people of the same sex it may be brighter. But the generation
I come from, the first out generation, we have paid a price. We are
not free unless we have thrown off our Mormon constraints. For too
many, it is a life l
Subject: gays
From: Dave
Date: 06 Jun 1999 5:35 PM
First of all Mormons believe that religion is based on revelation and
as such is not subject to mans judgement. If you disagree then why
would you ever be a member anyway. If you do believe it then your
psychobable analysis is nothing more than a load of whining crap. I
won't deny that their are people who seem to be born with an attraction
to the same sex but the position of the church as I understand it is
that these urges are not unlike someone who is born with genetic
alchoholism. We would never simply accept someone ruining their life
because they were an "out of the closet" alchaholic. The behavior is
destructive. Period. The Mormon church llike many other churches
teaches that man should control their destructive urges and make the
body comply to the wishes of the spirit, not visa versa. I've lived in
Utah in the past and am proud to know that there is somewhere that has
not yet given in to the bullshit idea that if your a drug addict,
alchoholic, pediphile, necrophile, or homophile, that we don't just let
it rip because "it's the way God made you". If you insist on living
your life in a destructive manner and there's no way to change your
mind then I hope you've left Utah. We're better off without you and
I'm confident you would be happier living somewhere that they accept
your mental illness and "normal".
Subject: Gays/Mormons/Utah
From: Randal Meyers
Date: 07 Jul 1999 3:08 PM
Dave, Thanks for responding to my note. You seem very angry. Many
Mormons seem to get easily set off in anger by people with a different
view. I did not have a choice about my religion because I lived in a
Mormon family. I left the religion as soon as I turned 18, but it was
not before Mormon's lack of care and compassion did its harm. The
Mormons have an extensive missionary program. Simply consider me a
missionary for love. Oh, and as for your comparison to alcaholism,
they are instructed by AA to come "Out" and be open about there
difficulty with alcahol. Perhaps a group called 'Homophobes Anonymous'
needs to be started so that you can heal. Mormons are taught to be
secretive about their lives, from polygamy in heaven to temple
ceremonies on earth. So I am not surprised by the expectation that
homosexuality should be silenced. If I was 'addicted' to a wife you
wouldn't compare it to social problems, because it is your view that it
is right. I include in my view that loving a person of the same sex is
a right not an adiction. I do live in Utah and I can give you my
testimony that there is a thriving gay community in Utah and that we
have God on our si
Subject: dave
From: scott
Date: 07 Jul 1999 7:24 PM
It sounds as if Dave is a repressed Mormon Homosexual himself, with all
the swearing to get his point across. I don't see much love in that
religion.
Subject: Dave, and Randall
From: Jason
Date: 09 Sep 1999 8:29 PM
You both are missing the point. As part of our human experience, we
are given the opportunity to choose what path we desire, whether it be
Mormonism or not. If we choose mormonism, we choose to live by their
teachings. If not, well then don't follow it...don't get all bent out
of shape because you don't like all of their teachings...how
rediculous, and what a big waste of time dwelling on it. I am so sick
of hearing about gay mormons playing 'martyr.' GET OVER IT! As for
Dave, you should know as a member of the church that you should have a
love for everyone... this is what the church teaches... yes even gay
people. Your approach is juvenile and ignorant and not in accordance
with the church. I would hope that those that read your messages will
not have distorted images of the LDS church. The Mormon faith is a
wonderful religion with much to offer, I know because everyday I find
myself missing the many blessings associated with following its
teachings. Teachings I haven't followed for several years now because
I struggle with homosexuality. Am I bitter, absolutely not, I just
hope one day I will be strong enough to be the person I desire to be.
Subject: still wondering
From: maya
Date: 06 Jun 1999 12:16 AM
my response to the contradiction between church teachings and my own
blossoming lesbian identity was to shut down sexually. now, at 25, i'm
tired of waiting. i fear a life of accidental celibacy. but i am also
terrified and clueless about where to begin and how to chip away at my
own wall of silence.
Subject: Hi
From: Bill
Date: 07 Jul 1999 3:04 AM
Hang in there! God loves YOU just the way you are honey. There are Gay
& Lesbian Church organizations all over the country. Here is our
churches web site. http://www.electriciti.com/cncc/
Subject: dont give up
From: j.e. hill
Date: 01 Jan 2000 5:44 PM
life it's self is hard...this is no different. just keep moving through
each day and grab onto those that offer help to you. there are
wonderful people, of every kind, that will help you move through the
path you must take. dont cheet yourself out of anything...that would
really piss God off!
Subject: Tired of waiting
From: Lana Stone
Date: 06 Jun 2000 6:11 PM
Maya--I can read my own life in your letter. I, too, could never quite
reconcile the teachings of religion with my nature as a lesbian. I
waited until I was 36 to allow myself to feel the way it seems you're
feeling: afraid of being alone forever. I finally decided that I had
tried living the other way (religion, as I knew it) for long enough.
I'd been through every single religious argument with myself for years,
but in the end made the decision to actively pursue the type of love I
dreamed of. I urge you to follow your instincts and to not spend
another moment of your life agonizing. I found the most wonderful
woman and we've been together 4 years. I do not ever plan to live in
fear and lies again. Good luck to you!
Subject: Reconciliation between sexuality and religion
From: Mary A. Wilkowski
Date: 07 Jul 1999 7:40 AM
I concluded at an early age that the Catholic Church had little clue
about life where love and sexuality were concerned. In short,
Catholics seemed to be the most unhappy group of people I'd met. I do
credit my all-girl high school with introducing me to love, however.
The number of people who profess to be Catholic and yet disagree with
and ignore the dogma of this religion is staggering. Since I had no
desire to reconcile the contradictions, I made a quick and clean exit
in my mid-teens. I have no regrets.
Subject: being born gay and not by choice
From: karen zaborowski
Date: 09 Sep 1999 5:18 AM
I,like so many other gays ,was raised a catholic.I knew by the age of
five that there was something different about me than most others.I
didnt quite understand how i could have attractions towards other girls
when my sisters did not.my mother raised us with a midwestern attitude
aside from or in addition to the churchso we were taugh tolerate
orexcept and to try and understand others who my be different from
ourselves so that we could all co-exist peacefully.I was exposed to
homosexuals a an early age ,due to the fact that my sisters and brother
had friends who were it didnt concern me terribly that i was not infact
as my sisters were.Im very lucky that my mother, ever since i can
remember would say"why would anybody choice that kind of life style
knowing that they would be putting themselves up to ridicule. anyone
with half a brain and any common sense can deduct that homosexuals are
born that way its not a choice they have to make its already determined
for them at birth." I believe this also ,as like eyes of
differentcolors are caused by recessive genes so too can be our
sexuality I love people of all colors,shapes and sizes ,male or
female-straight or gayand believe that it should matter not what you
are but who you are as a person and human-being.
Subject: Reconciling Sexuality & Religious Beliefs
From: Suzanne Cotton
Date: 10 Oct 1999 1:11 AM
I'm a Christian and I believe in God. I also feel that I'm a good
person. It is my personal belief that if I don't go to heaven because
of who I am than a lot of other people won't either. If God had wanted
to condemn us for being gay/lesbian, why did he create us to begin
with?
Subject: We'll all be OK
From: Nanette Legault
Date: 03 Mar 2000 10:29 AM
Remember in history, the blacks were condemed, and before that many
other groups? In this time in history we are being condemed. All we
need to do is keep fighting and let the others just get adjusted. And
we'll be let alone. If you believe in God, remember that he wouldn't of
made us if he did not love us.
Subject: Former Priest
From: Michael Oliver
Date: 11 Nov 1999 8:03 PM
For eight years I was a Catholic priest. I had known from a very early
age I knew that I was gay, but I like many others, I didn't want to
come out to my family and friends; afraid that I would lose their love
and respect.
Becoming a priest was a way to be respected and
safe...if you don't have to date anyone, you don't have to deal with
those issues.
It was never a big issue for me that the Church said
such inane things about sexuality. The history of the Church has
always been one of developing theology and practices. The more you
study in the Seminary the more you learn that the Church teaches that
the informed human conscience is the final arbiter between what is
right and wrong. My own experience told me that my sexuality was as
natural as any other attribute. I think that allowed me to offer hope
for people of faith who struggled with their connection to the Church
they were born into.
I left the priesthood because I was tired of
being alone, not because the Church wouldn't make a place for me. It's
hubris for any church or churchman to place unrealistic expectations on
the very human members of a family of faith.
Don't let them take it
away from you if that is what you want. Or find a place that embraces
you.Peace.
Subject: the church and homosexuality
From: terice gomez
Date: 12 Dec 1999 4:44 PM
The church teaches us to love one another. To be tolerant and
compassionate towards others regardless of WHAT they are, with one
exception, homosexuality. The bible teaches us the same without
exceptions. The difference is that there are preachers teaching
bigotry; the bible condemns bigotry. Where am I going with this? We
homosexuals must learn the lesson that our mothers tried to teach us
through out our childhood, 'Don't beleive everything someone tells
you!!' Mom was right. The issue is not whether being gay goes against
GOD, but rather, the ability for some to exert power and ultimately
oppress a group of individuals simply because of WHAT they are as
opposed to WHO they are. The ability to hold someone's wellbeing within
the grip of a hand, is extremely tantilizing to many. My advice to all
who graple with the contradictions bestowed on us by many of our church
leaders is to 1) Open the religious book of your choosing, 2) read
it, study it, and come to understand it, 3) Remember that GOD created
us in his image,(and GOD has many images) 4) Don't forget what your
mother said. Also, we humans are not the only species on this earth
that exibit homosexuality. Are those other species not getting into
heaven? I don't think so. Good luck to your studies.
Subject: Soulforce www.soulforce.org
From: michaelheart
Date: 02 Feb 2000 5:13 PM
raised methodist in rockville md in the 60's, i did not learn to feel
and behave prejudiced or ashamed. i learned to love. that was my
christian upbringing--love.
today, as a transgender person who
constantly faces gendercentricity and homophobia in US social relations
in central virginia, i have tasken to the paths of Gandhi, King, and
White: Soulforce.
This too is my faith. For some great reading go
to the Soulforce webpage. Perhaps you too will take the journey of a
GLBTA lifetime.
Truth in Love (nonviolence),Michael
Subject: Hope and the HRC's Ray of Light Program
From: Jerry Prochazka
Date: 02 Feb 2000 1:26 PM
I personally lost a wonderful 2 year relationship with someone because
of his struggle with his religion. I am saddened by ministries that
try and convert homosexuals.I am starting my Ph.D. in the fall of 2000
and I plan on doing research on ex-gays and ministries that attempt
this unethical practice of conversion therapy.
Subject: My religious beliefs have been an obstacle but my faith has been a blessing in my own acceptance of myself
From: John Mayes
Date: 07 Jul 2000 3:01 PM
With both anxiety and relief, I wish to share with you my story that
has brought me to the place of transition where I now find myself.
Trusting in the love and support of all my family and friends, I pray
that this story will initiate openness and compassion with regard to my
situation and among all that I know, that I come in contact with, or
that are inspired by what they read below.At the end of 1998, I left my
job as Youth Ministries Director at my Presbyterian Church. It was a
long wait to finally leave after deciding on my own to resign in April
and fulfilling my commitments that I felt I needed to follow through
on. My decision to leave my church employment was part of the most
difficult decision that I have ever made. Certainly, the decision to
resign was difficult because my spiritual growth, vocational
satisfaction, activities, and friendships had all been centered in my
Christian family at our church for a number of years. My resignation
came as a surprise and disappointment to the church and with an
undeniable sense of grief and loss for me during an already turbulent
year. Nonetheless, I was compelled to alter the course of my vocation
and my life for reasons of personal well being, fulfillment, happiness,
and integrity.It has been and remains uncomfortable for me to share the
struggles that led to my resignation with my whole family, my friends,
and others whom I meet. But out of a desire for others to more fully
know and love me, I wish to share that I have struggled for over 20
years with my sexuality. This has been a defining struggle for my life
causing me a great deal of personal sadness, anger, frustration, and
loneliness. It was not until about a two years ago (September 1997)
that I began to fully accept and affirm myself as a gay man. By sharing
my story here, I continue my process of healing from the hurtful
secrecy and isolation carried out for years in fear of failure and
rejection in the eyes of God and others. I understand that many who
read this note and who know me personally may feel uncomfortable and
conflicted over both wanting to love and support me and, on the other
hand, being unable to fully understand or accept me for who I say I am
because of what you may understand or believe. Those who dont know me
may like wise have conflicted feelings. That place of conflict is
familiar territory for me since that is where I have been trapped and
alone for much of my life.Developing a healthy self-image in sexuality
and relationships is normally a part of adolescence, but my maturity
process was stalled and complicated by my inner conflict over my
sexuality and my Christian faith. Naturally, my sexual feelings began
before Junior High and grew as I did, accompanied by unconscious
feelings of guilt. I struggled more consciously with my sexuality in
college and increasingly felt shamed. Like most people however, I
longed for intimate companionship. At times, I dated women in hopes of
changing myself and hiding my struggle, but seeking companionship in
this way felt like an unhappy lie. In 1986, in the midst of growing
self-rejection, I reluctantly told Mom and Dad in hopes of overcoming
my “problem.” Though they were distressed by my news, it was clear that
they wanted to care for me, yet they were unfamiliar with homosexuality
and did not know how to help. I wasted thousands seeking to be changed
by numerous counselors in the years that followed. My hope for any
desired change faded and I could find no other resolution.
Consequently, I increasingly avoided dealing with my sexuality by
burying myself in work and unconsciously limiting my friendships.
During the years after college, a cold war waged within me as I was
trapped between my desire to please God (as I understood God in my
faith at that time) and my human need for intimacy. Sadly, the
casualties of this inner war have been my health, self-esteem,
motivation, integrity, happiness, and hope.At the core of my struggle
were the seemingly irreconcilable differences between my faith and my
sexuality. The Christian community has served as both an obstacle and a
blessing in this struggle by paradoxically neglecting and nurturing me
emotionally, socially, and spiritually. As an obstacle, the church has
inadvertently promoted my own self-rejection, disabling me from
affirming myself as I now believe God intends me to be. Many
well-intentioned Christians subtly (and some not so subtly) and
unconsciously encouraged me to accept celibacy as my sentence and
loneliness as my prison. Sadly, by preferring to debate theological
doctrine over providing outreach to homosexuals, the church has failed
to bring hope, insight, new understanding, and wisdom to those, like
myself, who struggle over conflicts between their faith and sexuality.
For those of us who have personally suffered over this issue, it has
seemed as if the church was more concerned with maintaining its purity
than with acting out of the compassion of Christ. On the other hand as
a blessing, the many communities of faith in my life have also been
incarnate messages of Christ’s hope by treating me as a child of God. I
give thanks for the many people throughout the church who have
persisted in their affirmation, support, and love of me as I have come
out as a gay man. In fact, it was primarily through caring Christian
friends that I was enabled to move forward in my life. They helped me
to more fully know and love God, affirm and love myself, and reconcile
my faith and sexuality.I have never been much of a reader, but the most
helpful book resources during my coming out process have been:"Stranger
at the Gate" - Mel White, Plume Penguine Books, 1995"A Place at the
Table - The Gay Individual in American Society" - Bruce Bawer, Simon &
Schuster, 1993"Now That I’m Out, What Do I Do? - Thoughts on Living
Deliberately" - Brian McNaught, St. Martin’s Press, 1997"The Word is
Out - Daily Reflections on the Bible for Lesbians and Gay Men" - Chris
Glaser, Westminster/John Knox Press, 1994"Stealing Jesus: How
Fundamentalism Betrays Christianity" - Bruce Bawer, Three Rivers Press,
1997"What the Bible Really Says about Homosexuality" - Daniel A.
Helminiak, PhD, Alamo Square Press, 1995"Coming Out Within - Stages of
Spiritual Awakening for Lesbians & Gay Men - The Journey from Loss to
Transformation" - Craig O’Neil & Kathleen Ritter, Harper Collins,
1992And several internet resources that have also been helpful
are:www.soulforce.org www.melwhite.org www.whosoever.org
www.visionsofdaniel.comI hope that these resources are helpful to you
as well as you seek to better understand those like me who are
homosexual.Obviously there is far more that I could share about my
growing up experiences, but it is hard to condense a lifetime into such
as short story. There is so much more experience and insight that I
could share, but that brings me to where I am now! Coming out and
dealing with what is essentially late adolescence at my age is only
complicated and made more difficult by the additional burden of having
to also explore new vocational options (at least for the time being).
Particularly when so much of my identity and self-esteme had been
needlessly co-dependent on my role as a Youth Ministry Director.
Nonetheless, I am exceedingly grateful that my life is no longer
hopelessly paralyzed in lonliness and pain, because the path that I am
now on is one of honesty, integrity, health, and wholeness. I am
fortunate to have the unconditional love of my immediate family, the
support of close friends, and the inclusive ministry of a new Christian
community in the Presbyterian Church.Regardless of your position on the
issue of homosexuality, I am confident that as a fellow human-being you
have compassion for those who suffer. Therefore it is my specific
prayer that, while remaining authentic to your own understanding of the
faith, each of you who read my story will intentionally seek ways to
care for those who struggle with their sexuality or otherwise feel
disenfranchised from the many communities (especially the church) that
are part of their lives.Nonetheless, I hope you will give thanks with
me that I am being freed from the bondage of self-hatred and can move
toward a healing that will allow me to live life more freely and
joyfully for myself, others, and God.Thank you giving your time and
energy to this story and to my concerns. I welcome discussion or
feedback from anyone who seeks to understand better my own situation
and struggles.Grace & Peace, Johnhttp://home.att.net/~amayesd
Subject: Spirituality
From: Charles Dixon
Date: 08 Aug 2000 12:51 PM
It took several years before I could find my spiritual place. After
being raised in the Southern Bapstist Tradition, coming out and being
honest with myself and others was a struggle. I have finally found my
way through nature and some of the "pagan" beliefs.
Subject: a past history wants to get me started again
From: Ed
Date: 09 Sep 2000 1:53 AM
Twenty-four years ago I had more than a dozen sexual relationships with
other guys. It seemed difficult at first, but I started to enjoy it. I
even drove over forty miles to get in bed with one of these guys. A
frendship grew, and we got together fairly often. We used to satisfy
each other more ways than one.We started by playing cards to see which
one would start giving head to the winner. This usually went into 69.
Soon our get togethers did't include cards - we just went to bed to get
it on. This went on for a while - until hie wife caught us in bed
together. We called it quits then.
I really miss the sex that we
had. I think my wife understands what I did years. She said she thought
I had sex with other guys. It doesn't seem to bother her. I think she
kind of likes the idea. She knows I love her and she gets off when we
talk "dirty"(?) when we make love.
I want to get it on with another
guy again and I would like to do it with my wife there - watching. She
can even get in on the action. That would be great.
It excites me
just to think about it.
What do you think? - Should I explore?
Subject: Keeping Secrets
From: anonymous in Georgia
Date: 10 Oct 2000 5:25 PM
I was raised in a devoutly Protestant family, so I know all too well
the struggle between faith and the reality of life. I knew from the
time I was about 10 or 11 yrs old that something was "wrong" with me.
Why was it that I was attracted to other boys instead of to girls like
I was supposed to be? Of course, I kept such thoughts to myself.As an
older teen I left my parents' church and became Roman Catholic. Still
I struggled with the same old issues. Eventually, at age 22, I became
involved in my first true same-sex relationship. At first it was fun,
but eventually it turned into a nightmare. He became violently abusive
and I had several bouts of hospital stays during our two years
together.After that situation ended, I decided to return to my faith as
opposed to my feelings. Catholicism took me back into her loving arms
and nursed me back to health. I still struggle with who I am, but I'm
content to be alone with my faith and a wonderful new relationship with
my family. I have been single and celibate for two years, now, and I
am truly a happy man, if somewhat "alone".Many of us are out there. We
live with our secrets held deep inside. We stay "in the closet", or,
as in my case, return to the closet. Still, we support our "Family" in
our votes and in our hearts.
Subject: Delusion
From: Erik Forsberg
Date: 02 Feb 2001 3:50 PM
You may have convinved yourself that you are truly happy, but deep down
you have to know that you'll never really be happy until you admit to
yourself and the world who you really are. The chips will fall and yes,
things will be hard at first but in the end you'll be a stronger, wiser
and ultimately happier person. To me, the conflict is not between you
and god - it is between you and your religion. God loves all his
children. Religion frequently breeds hate. You are deluding yourself if
you think your pious, celibate lifestyle won't eventually bring you
anything but abject loneliness, heatache and pain.
Subject: Keeping Secrets
From: Clifford Edwards
Date: 10 Oct 2000 7:15 PM
Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law.As a deeply spiritual
man, I have struggled for most of my life to reconcile my sexuality
with my religion--indeed, I view it as my life's purpose. I grew up in
a deeply religious, evangelical, Christian fundamentalist family, and
as my friends can attest, I can quote "book, chapter, and verse" on
just about anything. I knew I was gay by the time I was five years old,
but I kept hoping that it would just go away. I begged God more times
than I can remember to cleanse me of this "sin," because I had even
seriously considered becoming a minister. In my late teens, I
discovered the alternate translations of the biblical passages
condemning same-sex relations ("What the Bible Really Says about
Homosexuality," etc.) and for awhile, my conscience was appeased,
although I never felt quite satisfied that these arguments were
anything more than rationalizations that the Judeo-Christian god could
really accept homosexuals as they were. I decided to really study the
Bible as though I were reading it for the first time and had a
revelation. I came to the conclusion that the entire book that we know
as the Bible is filled with seething invectives against physical
pleasure of any sort and the physical world in general. I found the
epistles of Paul particularly arrogant, pernicious and vile, and was
absolutely horrified that I could ever have believed in something I now
found so evil and perverted. I decided--after months of agonizing over
this decision--that I did not believe the Bible to be the word of God
and I declared myself not a Christian. I simply could not reconcile
homosexuality--or any kind of sexuality outside the bonds of
heterosexual holy matrimony for that matter--with Christianity, because
whatever translation you use, any kind of sex outside marriage is
proscribed. I spent years studying every religious system that has ever
been known to man in search of a religion that would accept my
homosexuality as a God-given gift and not something I had to
rationalize and was keenly disappointed until one day I discovered the
works of Aleister Crowley and the religion of "Thelema" (the Greek word
for "Will"). The main tenet of this religion is "Do what thou wilt
shall be the whole of the Law," and "Love is the law, love under will."
Doing one's will is not indulging in every whim and fancy, but
following your own destiny--discovering why you are here and doing that
and nothing else. I knew I had found my relgion when I read Crowley's
comment that if a man is a homosexual, then he sould honor that within
himself, and it is better for him to suffer the ignomy of society and
be blackmailed than for him to deny what he truly is. And this was
written in the 1920s! "Take your fill and will of love as ye will,
when, where and with whom ye will . . ." as our main holy book, "The
Book of the Law," says. I was astonished. I have embraced the Law of
Thelema with all my heart, soul and mind and have never known such
happiness, peace and satisfaction. The Law is for All. I desperately
want other gay people out there to know that there is a religion that
actually encourages you to worship this sacred aspect of your
being--your sexuality. It is the most beautiful, perfect system I have
ever encountered. It teaches Light, Life, Love and Liberty, not Shame,
Sin, Self-loathing, and Slavery like Christianity (Paul repeatedly
refers to himself as "a slave of Jesus Christ.") I now find
Christianity to be the most loathsome, evil perversion to ever spread
over this planet. Its proponents say that it is a relgion of love, yet
I never felt anything but guilt being shoved down my throat when asked
to consider the "sacrifice" that Jesus made for all of us "miserable
sinners." Who defines sin? A god we are commanded to believe in but
whose words cannot be proved? What truly frightens me is that there are
Christians out there who do not know the difference between fact and
faith. A fact can be proved--faith cannot. And the argument that
"you'll find out after you die and stand before the judgment seat of
God" is nothing more than another fear tactic to control people who
cannot or choose not to think for themselves. I prefer the ancient
Egyptian view that we become Gods after we die. "Every man and every
woman is a star."Love is the law, love under will.
Subject: christianity and homosexuality
From: Jeff
Date: 10 Oct 2000 12:15 PM
much of what you initialy had to say was very similar to my saga. one
exception is that i was not familiar with the bible and christianity
until i was 23. then i dove head first into it becoming much like a
monk or such. i didn't drink, smoke, chew or go with those that do. i
only listened to christian music and hung around christians forsaking
all my old friends. aside from all the legalism i put on and allowed
others to put on me, i was very much in love with god. i learned his
word to where i knew book, chapter and verse as well. i had a friend
who had been raised in the church by his minister father and was
actually as happy in jesus as i was. he never ceased to be amazed at
how the holy spirit had poured into me such knowledge, wisdom and
understanding concerning the scriptures in such a short time. i began
teaching in churches and had a radio ministry at age 25. yet with all
this intimacy with god; receiving words from god for others and seeing
miracles, i never heard an answer to my almost daily question of
whether god would change me. i wanted so to be able to like girls. it
wasn't until my falling away from god for 3 years and him drawing me
back that i got an answer. when i came back to him, i felt as though i
could do back flips. the power in me was so intense that i knew if
necessary that i could walk on water. it was supernatural faith like i
had never experienced. one day, i asked god about my sexuality. he said
"it doesn't matter"! i was stunned. in my most intimate times of
worship and meditation, the holy spirit would just OFFER the
information to me("it doesn't matter"). i didn't feel like i was
supposed to go tell ALL homosexuals this message. it was for me. i had
forsaken my physical gratifications for my relationship with him again
and it was now time for me to integrate them. i knew that god would
then be bringing me a life partner and he did. finally after all these
years it was happening. i was a complete person created to worship god
and placed on this earth to love. these 2 forces( sexuality and
spirituality) had been present in me all my life. i just had to learn
not to put my physical over my spiritual. i really feel like you threw
the baby out with the bathwater by forsaking christ jesus. you are so
very correct about christianity though. churches are manmade and full
of error. christianity is horribly misleading. BUT, our personal
relationship with god through jesus empowered by the holy spirit:
PRICELESS!
Subject: Keeping Secrets
From: J. Steven Moore
Date: 10 Oct 2000 1:16 PM
Blessed Be. Those are the two mose favorite words that I have come to
love. There is a story behind this though. Ever since I was a child
my parents never really forced religion upon me and my brother. So
there was really no strict rules arround the house. Looking back now
even to wheni was 8 years old I hwas always looking at boys even though
I did not realize that I was gay untill the age of 19. When I told my
parents that I was at least bisexual (I guess I thought that could
soften the blow) they sai donly a few words the main one was that what
do you think god says about this? I told them that I had made my peace
with god. They ask how did I do such a thing when the bible condemns
it? I simply said I have made my peace. All the while I had always
doubted the Christian ways. My parents would talk to me from time to
time about me being gay. I think my mom understood more than my dad. It
wasn't until my first boyfreind that I began my quest for Inner peace.
What he showed was you can cast spells to help yourself... although
after I did reasearch I found that he was using "Black Magik" to do
this And all the while I was using "White Magik". While he was using
the "Black Magik" he was using the christian god to help him once I
found that what the one basic code was to doing majik "And it harm
none, do what ye will". Upon learning this I confronted him. That night
he casted a spell upon me. I was still learning my new found powers
and when he casted this spell I found myself depressed. it took me a
week to figure out what was going on. The main thing that aided me in
discovering that the spell was cast was that he let it slip that he
casted a spell "to help me". That night I got on the internet and went
into a chat room and asked for help as to what i could do. with the
help and blessings that I recieved I broke the spell casted upon me.
The next day i discussed with my boyfriend that this was not right and
we need to part our ways and he agreed. A month after we parted I
found that there were many diferent religions and paths. I have grown
to love all and let all love me.I never really have had a grudge
against my first boyfriend. And that is why I say "Blessed Be". Last
year my little brother who is 3 years younger than me came out of the
closet to my parents and told them that he is gay. we really dont talk
about our sexuality to our parents anymore. although if we need to we
know we can go to our mother. Now that my little brother is out of the
closet we are even closer that when we lived under the same roof. we
tell each other about our encounters with men. And when we get together
we even check guys out. Oh well at least we still have a lot in common.
And little bro if you ever read this I am still cuter than you. As for
my little brother and religion I dont think he believes in anything.
But if that is what he wants it is fine by me.
Subject: From Heartache to Healing
From: Dawn
Date: 10 Oct 2000 10:03 PM
Brought up Southern Baptist and afraid to do anything that might angr
God or worse yet the Church, it took time for me to come to the
conclusion that I could not believe in a God that didnt belive in me.
Religion is based upon the very basic fear of the unknown. we as humans
are here for a very finite time and what comes next... well noone truly
knows. this fear was capitolized upon from the very inceptions of
"civilization". Whatever has been the "norm" at the time has been what
has been adopted as truth. I DO belive in something and i have faith
that Who or Whatever it exactly is, happens to be much outside the
realm of my understanding as a humanbeing. I cannot create a blade of
grass or a tree I cannot even begin to think of how one would do that.
I do belive there is rhymn and reason to it all i just happen to think
nowadays that as long as i am TRUE to myself and to my heart then i
cannot go wrong. I have studied the bible at length and conclude one
thing. If we are to belive in the teachings of Jesus Christ we MUST
hold that Love is truly the cornerstone of life and faith. Forgiveness
and Understanding are the key's to Peace. I think if the bible were to
be taken Literally. then Men would still have the right to sell thier
children off to the highest bidder and women would still be seen and
not heard ANYWHERE stoning would be an everyday occurance!! This simply
goes against EVERYTHING that Jesus Christ stood for, and in standing,
stood for God!! It seemed somewhat blasphemous to me to tell God that
there had been a mistake in my creation. I know who i am. I am a
lesbian it is as much a part of me as my hair color. I could bleach my
hair and dye it to change its color but the only purpose that would
serve would be to, in the long run, harm it and destroy it. I will no
longer DESTROY myself because of someone elses Fear. My God does NOT
make mistakes. Everything happens for a reason. I am just not often
privy to to logic. and frankly i wouldnt want to be. i am only human
and i cannot and WILL not place myself above ANY being that could
create, in anyway, this WORLD. I defy the so called "men of God" who
would judge me and condemn me to death!! Simply because of thier own
fear and self-loathing!! This is simply not in ANY way Christian and
hate is NOT a family value!!!
Subject: Resolving religious beliefs
From: Robert Meek
Date: 02 Feb 2001 1:18 PM
My first reaction was to go into denial, and to deny my spiritual side,
and my spiritual needs, because I didn't know how to resolve
it.
Eventually, my background drove me to needing resolution, and I
sought out the UFMCC denomination, and found there, the spiritual
comfort, guidance, and counsel that I needed.
Yes, there are old
laws of the Levi priests that do condemn homosexuality, but Christ came
to fulfill/complete the Law, and Paul wrote that we were no longer
under the law.
Christ, Himself, said NOT ONE WORD against
homosexuality. NOT ONE.
If God, Himself, thought that of it, rather
than it being a man's interpretation, don't you think that His Son
would have spoken on the subject, given that he did address
adultery?
Those who want to drag the old Levitical Law out against
us would be less quick to draw out the ones that require you stone to
death any fornicators, or cease having intercourse with a woman during
her menses cycle. Yet, those are covered there, too. Nor would they be
quick to say that all men should not shave their beards off, nor would
they be willing to give up pork.
You cannot justly try to live by
just ONE of the Levitical Laws. If you want to live by them, you have
to, to be
Subject: religion- is it worth it?
From: Tara
Date: 05 May 2001 11:40 PM
I was raised going to church every week, but we were never a very
religious family. With parents that were scientists, we stopped going
to church when I was in about 4th grade. Now as a teenager (15), I've
had some people try to influence me greatly in the religious sense. I
don't want religion at all- it just doesn't work for me, and I tell
people that, although I try not to talk about it at all if I can help
it. I am in a same-sex relationship at the moment, in fact this is not
my first.. However, I still feel the need to keep it a secret. I can't
handle the fact that all my friends that are such active Christians are
all of a sudden going to hate me. That sounds like I think they're all
shallow, but I see the way people are treating in high school.. most
people have no conscience. I'm nearing the point where I don't even
care about my Christian friends knowing because my sexuality shouldn't
affect friendship.
Subject: Gay Relationship vs Christianity
From: John
Date: 06 Jun 2001 1:59 AM
Hi. My parents and brother are very christian and i am 2. But i am
attracted to members of the same sex. The two things really conflict.
My friends, while not being Christian, are very homophobic so if i ever
told them my life would be over. Its such a shame because i can't truly
be myself. I am not homosexual, because i am also attracted to members
of the opposite sex, more so than i am of the same sex. I am only
slightly bisexual. HELP!
Subject: Don't Give Up on God
From: Dana E. Dolvig
Date: 07 Jul 2001 6:45 PM
I come from a very religious family. I was raised in the church.
I left the church during my teenage years over a lot of issues, one of
them was their treatment of homosexuals as sinners. I was just coming
to terms with my sexuality at the time. Now, it is 10 years later.
I am 30 years old, and a very out and proud lesbian. As my life as
adult grew richer though, I felt as if I was missing something. My
partner and I both looked for a spiritual path. We have since joined
the United Church of Christ which is a Christian, open, and affirming
church. Last year, we were married in the church we are members of.
Returning to such a welcoming congregation has shown me that God's
love is all encompassing. GOD LOVES YOU! I think that the most
respect we can give to The Devine to live an authentic life. This
means loving in all its various shapes and forms, trying to do the
right thing, trying to make the world a better place. My advice
would be to live out who God created you to be. Don't give up on God
because some people choose to spread hate. One thing Christ taught was
to live by example. Be a loving community and church member. Stand up
to injustice. Refuse to "fit in" because it is easy. Do all things
with love. The world will change.
Subject: Religious and Gay
From: Julie
Date: 07 Jul 2001 12:01 AM
I come from a very strict, christian family, and I'm talking STRICT. I
was brought up in church and always taught that being gay was a
"perversion". I struggled with the idea of being gay for a while. I
used to lie in bed at night crying when I was about 10 years old
because I had little crushes on my friends and I had been taught that
liking people of the same sex was very, very wrong. I always knew I
was different from all my other girl friends... they were all
interested in makeup and boys and all I cared about was playing
baseball. I remember always wanting to be a boy because then the girls
that I liked might like me back. Over time I just suppressed my
feelings because with how strict and religious my family is it just
didn't seem worth it. So I rushed into physical relationships with
guys WAY too young. I always hated being with guys, but being with
girls just was not an option, so I figured I just better get used to
it. Finally it was just getting too painful to hide my feelings
anymore, and as soon as I came out to a few of my religious friends I
was met with alot of opposition. They all thought it was morally wrong
and they were threatening to tell my parents, it was just a big mess.
But that finally passed. My family doesn't know, so I have to endure
hearing how God hates homosexuality and how perverted it is. It is
very hard trying to be yourself in a religious setting. But I have
come to realize that the struggle is worth it to be yourself so you can
be happy.
Subject: struggling alone with my sexuality
From: Charlotte
Date: 11 Nov 2001 9:30 AM
I am a single female age 30 who lives in the south. I too struggle and
have not found away to resolve the issue of whether I am gay or
straight. I have never had a sexual relationship with anyone straight
or gay. I so very much do not want to be gay. I am not sure how to
get rid of the cloud of questioning that lures overhead each and
everyday. I do not think I could be in a gay relationship and be
happy. I think guilt would eat me alive. I can't help but wonder why
men are not attracted to me. As I said before I live in the south and
there is a certain mind set in the south of what a woman should look
like. I have short hair, wear little if any makeup and believe women
should not be suppressed nor oppressed. I cannot for some reason let
myself accept the fact that I might be gay. I want to be happy and
live a fulfilled life but I am not sure how to do that. I don't think
sexual exploration is the answer either. Maybe in time the
questioning will stop but if it doesn't I don't know what I will do. I
too as so many others am Christian so the traditional views of
homosexuality lerk in the forefront of my mind constantly. If I could
ask one question and have it answered it would be "how do you make the
questioning stop and just be content?" Does anyone have the answer?
Thank you for taking the time to read my thoughts I hope they help
someone.
Subject: religious bunk
From: Tolley
Date: 04 Apr 2002 5:02 PM
I have no Idea whether or not you might be gay,but if you walk like a
duck, sqawk like a duck, you are probably a duck...You , and you alone,
can resolve the questions that are bothering you, I gave up on
religion, and found a spiritual way of live that had nothing at all to
do with the way others thought. I found a formal religion to be too
binding and , really, quiote meaningless. Only if something leads to a
comfortable and meaningful acceptance of me , "just as I am", as the ld
christian song goes, can I devoted my time and efforts to it. You might
just try finding out who you are, and be that person, and quit giving a
holy shit what others think,
Subject: Being content
From: Toni
Date: 05 May 2002 9:50 AM
Am I gay or not? It souldnt have to be a question you ask yourself. We
are all brought up certain ways and there are times when we cant change
to fit our surroundings and be happy at the same time. But I guess once
enough time goes by you learn how to be the person you were meant to be
not the one you were brought up to be. If you are gay and it scares you
to admit that to yourself or to the people around you then you will
continue to live your life a lie and perhaps never find true happiness
with a love that is returned. Its nothing to be afraid of and there are
so many support groups willing to make people feel comfortable. Its not
a lable or anything you are putting on yourself, its not all of you its
not who you are its just part of you. The rest of you is still the
same. And not everyone has to know who you are thats your choice who
knows. Just take it slow kid and you'll find out what you need to know.
Its not the worst thing in the world to
be.
Subject: religion...
From: Tolley
Date: 04 Apr 2002 4:54 PM
yes, i fought with myself about my feelings for men and what i had been
taught what my religion expressed. i quit the religion , finding it was
out of touch with tealoity and had no real meaning.
Subject: nunya
From: goofy
Date: 04 Apr 2002 5:03 PM
h
Subject: My religion and me
From: Dale
Date: 08 Aug 2002 2:22 PM
Having been raised in a Pentecostal, Fundamentalist Christian family, I
fought long and hard to find a way to reconcile those beliefs with my
homosexuality. I have never once believed that I am going to go to
Hell just because of the gender of the people I fall in love with, but
everything I was taught growing up says otherwise. Eventually, I came
to terms with the idea that the religion I had been raised with is not
by any stretch of the imagination practical, and that the God that I
believe in is not the God that my family believes in. This has caused
me to take a great deal of grief from many of my family memebers, who
cannot understand why I don't believe in going to church anymore, but
the resolution of that particular inner conflict is well worth the
price.
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