Responses:

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Subject: COMING UP ON 3 AND IS STILL VERY MEAN TO OTHERS
From: KELLY THIBEAULT
Date: 02 Feb 2001 11:18 AM

HELP, 3 YEAR OLD WITH 2 OTHER SISTERS, OLDER 10,5. HE JUST LIKE TO HURT THEM AND THEN FEELS BAD FOE A MINUTE. HE DOES EVERYTHING BAD AND THE MESSES THAT HE MAKES ARE UNBELIEVBLE.WE,VE TRIED TIME OUTS, TAKING AWAY TOYS, A PADDLE ON THE BUTT, PUTTING HIM IN THE CHAIR, HE JUST SEEMS TO GET WORSE.I'M A STAY AT HOME MOM, I DO WORK AT HOME AND ALL OF MY CHILDREN DO GO EVERYWHERE WITH ME OR THEIR FATHER, I DO TREAT THEM ALL DIFFERENT. I DO LOVE THEM ALL VERY MUCH, NO ONE GETS ANY SPECICAL TREATMENT, UNLESS THEY'VE DONE WELL ON A PROJECT OR THEIR BIRTHDAY, THINGS LIKE THAT. MY GIRLS WERE ALL SO VERY GOOD, MY OLDEST HAS ADHD, WE DELT WITH THAT, MY MIDDLE ONE CRIED FOR THE FIRST YEAR OF LIFE AND WANTED NO ONE BUT MOMMY, WE DELT WITH THAT, BUT THIS ONE MAY PUT ME OVER THE EDGE. ANY HELP OUT THERE!!! THANK YOU

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Subject: attention getter
From: bonnie
Date: 02 Feb 2001 3:45 AM

I've known others including myself with similar problems. My 2nd son had a thing for biting. For him, I would look him in the eye and tell him with emotion but without physical force. "That hurt mommy. Mommy doesn't play with boys that bite." I would set him on the floor and walk away from him. He was only one at the time. I'm not sure he understood what I said, but he got the message. My sister in law had a 2 year old who also would bite at home and at preschool. He would also bang his head against the floor or wall. (She believes it was from watching a Sesame Street video where a honker gets emotional and honks his horn against a wall.) She was quite frustrated for several months. They would do time outs and even once tried "biting back" among other things. One day she sat down and figured out that between her, dad, sitter, and apologizing to his various victims, her son was racking up approx. 3 hours of attention a day because of this. So it was decided that once the offense was committed, whichever caregiver was present would demand an apology to the victim, give a verbal reprimand, and drop it. After a few month of peaks and valleys, he stopped. I know it's a challenge to keep up with this, even more so when repeat offenses sometimes happen one after another. Keep your cool, count to 10, take a deep breath. The key to teaching them how to control themselves is showing them through your actions how it's done. I have an 8 year old, a 7 year old, and a 2 year old. Remember: It gets better. Hang in there. Hope this was helpful. :)

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Subject: aggressive child
From: Heather Stott
Date: 03 Mar 2001 6:34 PM

I also have an aggressive child. My child is three and has been the same since he was one and a half. It's hard to be around other people with children becuase he goes nuts yelling and hitting. I get so embarressed sometimes I could cry. When he plays, he doesn't want other children looking or playing with him. He gets very jealous of my husband and when I try and talk to other adults. I would just like my life back. He is very difficult most of the time. Sometimes he can be very nice to others but most of the time it is a struggle when we are around others. I know how you feel. I feel like I could go over the edge too.