A PAUSE FOR HUMOR

	October 20, 2000
	Excerpts from the annual Al Smith dinner in New York.

JIM LEHRER: And now a little more politics. Vice President Gore and Governor Bush were both in New York City last night at the annual Al Smith dinner. That's a white-tie charity event honoring the former Democratic Governor of New York who lost his bid for the presidency in 1928. Here are some excerpts. VICE PRESIDENT AL GORE: I'm honored to be at this year's Al Smith Memorial Foundation dinner. This dinner represents a hallowed and important tradition, which I actually did invent. (Laughter) And, of course, I want to acknowledge FEMA Director James Lee Witt, who accompanied me here tonight. (Laughter) We travel everywhere together. (Laughter) Please accept my apology for interrupting your meal. Since this is a special occasion, I wanted to mark it by getting all of my interruptions out of the way before Governor Bush speaks. (Laughter) I know some people are going to keep accusing me of exaggeration, so let me be clear. Those people seek nothing less than the complete destruction of the American way of life. (Laughter) (Applause) It's absolutely clear. I never exaggerate. You can ask Tipper or any one of our 11 daughters. (Laughter) Another thing that bugs me is when people say I am just a wonk, obsessed with policy detail. Well, like some many Americans, I like to just kick back and relax and watch television for relaxation. One of my favorite shows is "Who Wants to be a Millionaire?" Well, it should really be called "Who Wants to be After Taxes a $651,437.70 Person?" (Laughter) Of course, that's under my plan. Under Governor Bush's plan... (Laughter) it would be "Who Wants to be After Taxes a $701,587.80 Person?" (Laughter) This is a fund-raiser, isn't it? Whenever I see everybody dressed the same way, my antenna goes straight up. (Laughter) I also make you this simple pledge: If I am entrusted with the presidency, I may not always be the funniest President, but I will never sigh to you. Thank you. God bless you, and God bless America. ( Applause ) GOV. GEORGE W. BUSH: Thank you all very much. This is an impressive crowd-- the haves and the have-mores. (Laughter) Some people call you the elite. I call you my base. (Laughter) The woman I just ran into coming off the elevator, she said, "I'd like to give you some advice on what to wear." I said, "well, I appreciate that." She said, "white tie is fine, but you need some more earth tones." (Laughter) Perfectly nice woman. I think her name is Naomi or something like that. The odd thing was she handed me a bill for $15,000. (Laughter) Can you imagine? Sure, a grown man paying $15,000 for somebody to tell you what to wear? Heck, $15,000 these days gets you a sleepover in the Lincoln Bedroom. (Laughter) (cheers and applause) This evening does have a special meaning. The story of Al Smith's historic run for the presidency is truly inspiring. It gives me hope that in America, it's still not possible for a fellow named Al to be the commander in chief. (Laughter) And I see Bill Buckley is here tonight-- fellow Yale man. (Applause) We go way back, and we have a lot in common. Bill wrote a book at Yale; I read one. (Laughter) He founded the Conservative Party. I started a few parties myself. (Laughter) Bill was certain he won every debate he had. Well, I know how he feels. (Laughter) It's been a pleasure to be with you all tonight. Your excellency, Laura and I would like you to come and visit our family next year. I'll send you the address as soon as I know what it is. Thank you very much, God bless. (Applause)