What is it like being growing up in a place notorious for conflict?

Rachel, 16

I spent the first years of my life in the Republic of Ireland but in 1989, just after my 6th birthday, my parents moved back home to Belfast. I was ad to leave my friends behind and was obviously unaware of the effect this move might have on my life.

By the age of seven, I was getting fed up with hearing "Rachel, be quiet, this is important!" whenever a news flash came on the TV. All I wanted to do was watch the cartoons. My Dad anxiously followed the news updates to check the safety of the rest of my family as they made their back from work or school through the chaos of closed-off roads, no public transport and sporadic rioting.

I was about nine when I was in the kitchen making a pot of tea for Mum and Dad and the back door suddenly burst open to the sound of a large bang followed by its echo. I ran into the dining room to see my Mum. We looked at each other in silence for a moment before moving towards the front door. Our neighbors were all out on the street and there was great dismay. A few minutes later I began paying close attention to a news flash. I vaguely remember thinking, "Why am I watching the news?" That was when it dawned on me that I was living in the middle of "the troubles" and it had the potential to touch my life. While watching the broadcast, I learned that the IRA had blown up the police forensic laboratory located half a mile from my home. It was one of the biggest explosions ever in Northern Ireland and reduced the massive complex to rubble.

Life returned pretty much to normal for me after this event. Just as this episode receded from memory, reality came back without warning. I was on a regular Saturday morning visit to Belfast city center with my Mum when suddenly, there was a very loud bang in the next street that shocked and scared us. We knew there had been an explosion and hurried home. Once again a news flash informed us that the most bombed hotel in Europe, the Europa, had been hit again.

By my early teens I was well aware of bigotry and sectarianism. My school bus was 'bricked' regularly as it passed through loyalist areas. However bigotry and sectarianism never existed in my family although it sometimes made life quite difficult. For example, one of my closest friends is a Protestant and her religion never struck me as having any kind of meaning at all until I asked if it was ok if I stayed over at her house. Mum knew her family and was happy for her to stay with us but she would not let me stay in her house because she feared for my safety in her area. This is when I realized that no matter how egalitarian people's views might be, religion in Northern Ireland did make a difference and this could have an impact on one's life.

I am now 16 years old. Despite the incidents I have mentioned, I feel lucky that since the Good Friday Agreement and the military cease-fires, "the troubles" have only had a minor significance in my life. I still have my friends from both sides of our community. One day perhaps, when I am older, if this present peace accord holds, my children will be free to travel anywhere in this country without fear of who or what they are. I hope my generation is smarter than those who are in control now. We know the past should not dictate the future. We should learn from it and move on together.