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Myths about GLBTQ People Are Misguided and Often Insulting
By: Keith Brooks, Kentucky Kernel (U. Kentucky)
December 5, 2006 4:45 PM

(U-WIRE) LEXINGTON, Ky. - Sometimes I get tired of talking about gay matters. And sometimes I can never stop talking about them.

As the public relations director for UK's newly established Gay-Straight Alliance, I am expected to promote the goals of the organization. Along with this, I've found myself trying to reconcile the notion of being too verbose about being gay, lesbian or bisexual with the duty of informing UK community about our mission, which is to promote unity between straight and GLBTQ (gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered and questioning) students and to be active in the Lexington community.

I know a lot of people are apathetic about gays and lesbians in general, which is perfectly fine with me. Unfortunately, I have been exposed to several people who have completely incongruous and malevolent feelings about gays and lesbians, rooted in antiquated myths and notions they hear from friends, family members or television shows. With problems like these, reciprocation in basic communication can prevent misunderstanding. I want to highlight several misconceptions, some of which I'm surprised still exist in our academic environment.

- We didn't choose to be gay or bisexual.

Every time I'm presented with the notion that being gay or bisexual is a choice, I have to ask, "Why are people straight?" Most gay people will tell you flat out that their feelings for the same sex are innate and occurred before puberty, as would most straight people about their feelings for the opposite sex. Regardless of the continuous debate about whether being gay is determined by environmental or natural factors, for someone to argue that a person consciously decided to be attracted to either sex is ridiculous and logically unsound.

- There's more to gay people than sex.

Which is why we shouldn't be referred to as "homosexuals." Are straight people defined by their heterosexuality? Until people perceive that sexual activities define very little about a person's psyche or personality, this should be elaborated. The media should adhere to this too.

- Gay men and women aren't attracted to every same-sex person they see.

Many gays, lesbians and bisexuals consider it insulting to insinuate that they are attracted to everyone of their sex - and understandably so. (And no, the "six beers will turn him or her gay" rule doesn't apply.) Just like the straight community, the GLBTQ community is composed of unique and distinguishable individuals, all with their own specified and eclectic tastes in partners. And even if a gay person does hit on you, doesn't that mean you are aesthetically pleasing anyway?

- There is no such thing as a gay lifestyle any more than there is a straight one.

The notion of a "gay" lifestyle only appeared because the gays and lesbians who were visibly out and proud, particularly in the latter half of the 20th century, were juxtaposed against straight, conservative-acting individuals. Again, the gay community is just as diverse as the straight community. There are gay, Christian Republicans, lipstick lesbians who get pedicures, and gay people who act no different than a "regular" straight person - and these types vastly outnumber the flamboyant ones you may have encountered.

No gay person should have to feel uncomfortable discussing his or her sexuality openly. A gay person shouldn't have to receive awkward stares upon mentioning a date with his or her boyfriend or girlfriend. No gay person should have to hear virulent, homophobic insults, as many high school students do on a daily basis. No gay person should be afraid of being attacked, and more importantly, no gay person should have to live his or her life in defense of a straight, heterosexist society.

So yes, I get sick of talking about it. And sometimes I can't stop talking about it. Again, the best way to solve problems like these is basic reciprocation in communication, which means asking questions and talking to each other, even if it seems awkward. If a person is to extend a thoughtful ear, allow the response to be welcoming. If we do it now, people are less likely to care in the future. If people in this postmodern and demographically advanced world still believe it's okay to publicly harass and treat other human beings like second-class citizens, how can I not talk about it?

Comments

Wonderful! These are the most important points that need to be made. Hopefully there will come a day when they are common knowledge and it is unneccessary to remind people, but until then keep talking about them!
Posted by: Amanda | December 7, 2006 3:07 AM

Thank you so much for expressing the same thoughts so many other GLBTQ men and women confront everyday. It is my sincere hope that many people, regardless of orientation, read your article.
Posted by: Wayne | December 7, 2006 7:50 AM

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