Part III Balancing the Role

KATI MARTON: She understood that, in an imperial presidency, which the Kennedy presidency was, what was expected of the first lady was to rise to the occasion. And she turned the White House into a stage for all that was best in American art and culture.

GIL TROY: John Kennedy, going into the White House, worried that his wife Jackie Kennedy had, as he had said in the 1950s, "too much status and not enough quo," that she would be a political problem for him that she would alienate too many Americans with her high-toned ways, that she was too aristocratic, that she showed off the side of the Kennedys that they were trying to downplay - the wealthy side of the Kennedys.

NARRATOR: John Kennedy wasn't sure he wanted his wife to refurbish the White House -- a costly project he feared could bring negative publicity. So, to get her way, she asked her moneyed friends to make donations to the White House for the American people. Then Jacqueline Kennedy invited Americans on a tour of their new White House.

COLLINGWOOD, CBS Reporter: Mrs. Kennedy, I want to thank you letting us visit your official home. This is obviously the room from which much of your work on it is directed.

JACKIE KENNEDY: Yes, it's attic and cellar all in one. It just seemed to me such a shame when we came here to find hardly anything of the past in the house.

COLLINGWOOD: What's your budget, where does it come from?

JACKIE KENNEDY: Well it really, it's small because everything we do is by private donation.

COLLINGWOOD: Could we see a completed room?

JACKIE KENNEDY: Yes, the Diplomatic Reception Room is right here if you'd like to see that.

ALLIDA BLACK: I mean more people watched Jacqueline Kennedy give a tour of antiques in the White House than watched the World Series.

NARRATOR: Jacqueline Kennedy played an important diplomatic role by charming difficult heads of State like Charles de Gaulle of France and Nikita Krushchev.

When her husband was killed, it was Jacqueline Kennedy's dignified, regal presence that helped the nation in its time of grief and have them these unforgettable images.

Betty Ford also understood the essence of her times. And those times were a-changing.

Betty Ford became first lady upon Richard Nixon's resignation. Unlike the Fords, the Nixons had had a very distant relationship.

KATI MARTON: I think that if the Nixons would have had a different sort of marriage, a closer marriage where they were actually talking to each other, which they virtually were not, then the nation might've been spared Watergate.

BETTY FORD: I can't remember when I felt so totally unable to handle something. It was, in my mind, the saddest day of my life.

NARRATOR: That day was Aug. 9, 1974, the day Richard Nixon resigned and Gerald Ford was sworn in as the 38th president of the United States.

GERALD FORD: I have not campaigned either for the presidency or the vice presidency. I am indebted to no man and only to one woman, my dear wife.

GIL TROY: There hasn't been a campaign to kind of prepare the first lady. Betty Ford thought that they were on their way to retirement, and, lo and behold, she finds herself the first lady of the United States.

NARRATOR: A month after becoming first lady, Betty Ford discovered she had breast cancer. She shared the news with the American people. As a result, millions of women went to get their first mammogram.

KATI MARTON: We were told about her brush with breast cancer, which until then was a taboo. So, she kind of opened the windows in the White House and - and - and let the air circulate.

BETTY FORD: I do not believe that being first lady should prevent me from expressing my ideas.

NARRATOR: Betty Ford became the most outspoken first lady since Eleanor Roosevelt for her support of the equal rights amendment and a woman's right to an abortion. Her candor shocked many traditional Americans, especially her remarks about her teenage daughter on the television program 60 Minutes.

SAFER, CBS Reporter: Well, what if Susan Ford came to you and said, Mother, "I'm having an affair."

BETTY FORD: Well … I wouldn't be surprised. I would think she is a perfectly normal human being like all young girls.

NARRATOR: Tens of thousands of letters, pro and con, flooded the White House.

BETTY FORD: There was even some demonstrating in front of the White House against me as an immoral woman - and how can the first lady of the land have such immoral ideas? At that time it was pretty shocking.

NARRATOR: There was a deep cultural divide in the nation in the 1970s and Betty Ford was clear about which side she was on.

GIL TROY: First ladies want to feel like they can express themselves fully, but we've seen that when first ladies go too far, when they stray too much from the very clear script that the American people have written for them, that there's a backlash.

KATI MARTON: You cannot move things forward; you cannot change without shocking and offending. That's - that's just the way it is, and - and Betty Ford was willing to take that chance.

Participatory and traditional roles

GIL TROY: Some of those generalissimos who were running Latin America at the time - or, running various Latin American countries. "What's -- what's he doing sending her?"

KATI MARTON: Actually, you - you can achieve much more behind the scenes in the White House than - than by attending cabinet meetings. You exercise it in a much more subtle, low-key way. And that's the smart way to do it, if you really wanna put in your two cents.

BARBARA BUSH: I knew what I could do and what I couldn't do. And I knew I was not elected vice president or president of the United States.

NARRATOR: Barbara Bush was a model of tradition in the role of first lady. And the press and the public loved her.

BARBARA BUSH: Who's jealous of an overweight, white-haired woman? Nobody. So, I think that was in my benefit, in a way.

GAIL SHEEHY, Journalist and Author: Barbara Bush was very clear about packaging herself in a grandmotherly way. Behind the scenes, she wasn't nearly so emollient. She was very sharp-tongued and very sharp in her perceptions, but that worked for her.

BARBARA BUSH: [Chuckling] I tried to behave myself, but I'm a little impulsive. So, occasionally, I said things I was sort of sorry I said.

NARRATOR: She carefully minded the boundaries of her public role, but quietly she was a force to reckon with in the Oval Office.

BARBARA BUSH: And I've always thought that was so funny, "Oh, we're all afraid of Mrs. Bush." Well - (chuckling) - I'm not quite sure why, because I never called the office. I talked to him at home.

NARRATOR: It seems that a first lady who appears less interested in power and policy, like Barbara Bush, is given more latitude than, say, a Hillary Clinton.

Saga of Bill and Hillary Clinton

HILLARY RODHAM CLINTON: I learned from both the mistakes and the misunderstandings that seemed to affect people's response to my work on health care and continued to work very hard on being involved in a - a wealth of issues - but doing it in a way that, you know, was more traditional.

GIL TROY: What she then learned in the second half of the Clinton presidency was she had to be a little more Barbara Bush. … She had to be a little bit more pink, if you will, and a little less red.

HILLARY RODHAM CLINTON: And what I learned, among many things, is that symbolism is very important in that roll. So, I tried to use the position to try to promote causes and concerns that I believed were important.

NARRATOR: Hillary Clinton learned that in order to be a popular first lady, she needed to be an advocate, not a policy-maker.

GIL TROY: The problem with being a first lady is that your power is derivative.

HILLARY RODHAM CLINTON: It is, by nature, a vicarious role. It is not a job. It doesn't have a set of responsibilities. And I so appreciated the privilege of being in the White House, but it is, by its very nature, a position that will always be an adjunct position. And I don't see any way around that.

NARRATOR: The lesson seems to be that if you want political power, get it the old-fashioned way -- get elected.

HILLARY RODHAM CLINTON, videotape: I am honored today to announce my candidacy for the United States Senate from New York! [cheers]

HILLARY RODHAM CLINTON: It struck me that being in a position to continue to be a decision maker, as opposed to an advocate, would be a very attractive opportunity if I could, you know, be elected.

GIL TROY: To a certain extent, Hillary Rodham Clinton's success as a senator reflects the complexity of being a first lady. One of the enduring themes we've seen in the last 50 years is that those women who try to be revolutionaries may succeed in their careers, may succeed in changing the world, but they're less likely to succeed in revolutionizing the White House.