My Foster Care Family
I was in the system for the full 18 years. I had five families, each of them cognizant of the fact that I loved classical ballet. Each family took up the baton of that love.
I was lucky in that I had the ability to communicate. God gave me that and my primary foster care mother enhanced it. All my foster families were tutors in their own ways. When I walk, I walk with all those people. They all gave me something individual to carry through life.
My last family is still very much part of my life and they were very involved in dance. I am also in touch with several of my social workers. In fact, I'm writing a book on the women who raised me — foster mothers, social workers, ballet teachers — all.
The reality for a foster child is that this IS our family. I chose them to be my family and to nurture it as such.
Dumped by the System
When I came to New York on my scholarship to the American Ballet Theater School, I lived at the Ladies Christian Union on 13th street — and I got evicted. The state checks from Maine always arrived late and the landlord didn't want to put up with that situation.
There I was totally alone, 17 years old and with a great deal of fear around being homeless. And, remember, this is what happens every day in the foster system. I had a full scholarship to one of the most prestigious schools in the world and I was homeless at 11:30 at night in New York City and I was on my way to juvenile detention. I kept thinking "I'm a good girl — I just happen to be a ward of the state." I wasn't the typical face of foster care — but I was. You just have to deal with so much so quickly and you are still so young.
The police decided to let me call to see if I could make some living arrangements. It had to happen that night or I was going into juvenile lock-up. I ended up with the sister of a girl at the Christian Women's home. I stayed with her for about two weeks and then I moved into a transient hotel because it was all I could afford on my stipend and little bit of salary.
Nobody knew the drama — I felt such shame around it. I did not tell the artistic director at ABT — I did not tell anybody. As far at they new it was all status quo. That was the best decision I could make at the age of 17 — dealing with that shame.
When I look back today at being dumped out of the system it can't be minimized. I could flower that word — "released," "graduated," but you're really dumped out and left on your own devices. It is any wonder so many end up in prostitution, thieving, in jail and dead?
The Saving Grace of Art
The thing that kept me focused was those ballet slippers. For a long time after I stopped dancing I would still pack those ballet slippers like some people pack a Bible.
Those slippers were security and hope. The dance always gave me that hope for the future. No matter what I went through I went to my classes, my rehearsals, as if everything was on an even keel.
Ballet saved me when I was in the system without any mental health care, physical therapy or all the things which foster children need.
Several years ago I spoke at the U.S. Conference of Mayors on the subject of "Does Art Save Lives?" I told my story to help save arts funding.
I had faith because my life depended on it. I went to ballet classes as if my life depended on it — and it did.
Fostering the Future
Whenever I give any money to any organization I always check the box that says "other" and that "other" always signifies that I want the money to help a foster child if possible.
Ballet was certainly the turning point for me it carried me and served its purpose by showing me a much greater world. Foster children need to listen to those messages and be courageous and explore those avenues.
People always ask me why do you work yourself so hard. When you're a foster child you leave no stone unturned.
Victoria Rowell founded the Foster Children's Fine Arts Scholarship Fund to help other kids find the home she found in the arts.
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