Writing letters to far away friends can help bridge any distance.

Having a pen pal, either in a different country or just a town away helps kids practice skills in literacy, writing and geography.

But for me, there’s an even more important skill kids learn, patience. Raising kids in the digital age means they don’t have to wait for much anymore. Almost everything is just a click away. And that’s great for some things, but for others it’s a problem. 

Writing letters with pencil and paper slows kids down. It makes what they read and write even more special. It also helps them write more thoughtfully about things that are important to them.

Here are five tips for helping your child craft the perfect pen pal letter:

1. Find a Pen Pal.

The thing that makes writing to a pen pal more thrilling than a writing exercise at school, is that there’s a clear audience (other than the teacher).

Ask family, friends or co-workers if they have a friend with kids living abroad. Chances are you already know someone with kids living in another country. 

But your child’s pen pal doesn’t have to be international. It can be just as exciting to get a letter from a friend in another state.

Our daughter’s pen pal is the daughter of a blogging friend of mine. Our kids have another set of pen pals in Belgium and one in Nashville. I keep up with both of their parents on facebook and social media.


2. Share What You’ve Been Doing

There are many reasons kids will love writing to their pen pal. Topping the list? They get to be the subject of their own story. If your child has trouble knowing where to begin, start small—write about a pet, what they did that week or what they love to eat. They can even write about the weather or include a joke. It’s small talk, kid style.

3. Ask Questions

Pen pal writing is a conversation on paper. Make sure your child includes a few questions to keep the conversation going. It also shows the pen pal your child is interested in what he/she has to say too.

4. Personalize It

Encourage kids to get creative. Include drawings, add stickers or little things that show your child’s personality. It doesn’t have to be big or grand. It can be as simple as using kid-approved stationery or a special way your child signs his letter. Bubble letters anyone?


5. Address Envelope Correctly

Knowing how to correctly address an envelope is an important life skill. If your child’s letter isn’t properly addressed, it won’t arrive. And don’t forget the return address. It’s a great way to give kids extra practice memorizing their address and learning state abbreviations.

Adaptations for Younger Kids

Having a pen pal isn’t just for older kids, younger kids can get in on the fun too! Here are two easy modifications:

If your child struggles with writing, play stenographer and type up the letter as she dictates. Just make sure she adds her signature, even if it’s a doodle.

Send a Me Collage. Amy Mascott, author of Teach Mama, had her kids create tiny collages, a mix of pictures, that represented them. Your child’s pen pal will love them.

More Adventures in Learning

About Jennifer Cooper

Jennifer Cooper

Jennifer Cooper is the blogger behind Classic-Play.com, an online resource for creative families.  Her favorite past times include: dancing around her living room, watching the Pink Panther with her kids and daydreaming. She lives in Baltimore, MD with her husband, photographer Dave Cooper, and two children. 

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  • Molly

    This is the best video yet! (And that’s saying a lot because I love them all!)

    • Jennifer Cooper

      Thank you Molly! It might just be my favorite too.

      • Guest

        add me

  • Sarah Moralez

    Are there websites you know are trust-worthy for finding a pen pal internationally? My (almost) 4 year old wants a Spanish-speaking pen pal and I’d love to have correspondence with his pen pal’s mom/dad/both as well to brush up on and improve my horrible Spanish.

    • carmen

      Hola!! tengo una hija de 6 años que estaría encantada de tener un penpal, ella prefiere una niña, pero se podría hablar :) vivimos en España ¿de donde eres? mi e-mail es benmin67@yahoo.com un saludo

  • Guest

    Add me

  • Lilly

    Hello do you know websites that are trust-worthy for finding a pen pal internationally? Because I have talk to my parents about having a pen pal and they agree with it,but I have to find a trusted site that can help me get a pen pal internationally. ( I really want a pen pal from South Korea, so I can get better at the language, learn about the culture, and make a new friend) Can you please help me. Please and thank you

  • erica

    i would like to find a pen pal anyone know how I could find one

  • Maria Nunez

    Good morning I have an 8 year old daughter from the USA who would love to have a pen pal if anyone is interested please email me at nunezmaria26@gmail.com.

  • Libby nino

    I am looking for a pen pal for my 5 year old. Does anyone know a trusted site? How do I find another little one to pen pal him with? He gets sad that he doesn’t receive any mail, and I think he would love a pen pal.

  • Makayla

    Is it to late to comment? well i’m 11 and im in 6th grade. I really have no preferences where you live or your age and i would love to contact you with letters or email. My parents don’t want me to use those “find your pen-pal” websites so….yeah. My email is:
    redhawks040@gmail.com (Mail me anytime)