Expert Q&A

Celebrating Black History All Year Long!

Fri, 10 Feb 2012 16:13:42 -0500

February is a great time for children to explore and celebrate Black history and culture through books. But wouldn't it be great for kids to be interested and excited about African-American history, culture and experiences throughout the year? When I attended segregated schools in the mid-fifties and early sixties, Negro History Week (which became Black History Month in 1976) was the most exciting time of the school year for me. I was inspired by the school-sponsored Black history essay and oratory contests, classrooms competing to display the most creative Black history bulletin boards, and teachers decorating classrooms and hallways with photographs of distinguished Black heroes and sheroes.

Forming a Love of Family History

Wed, 01 Feb 2012 10:00:54 -0500

One of the transformative moments of my life occurred when my grandfather, Edward Gates, died in 1960. I was ten years old. Following his burial, my father showed me my grandfather's scrapbooks. And there, buried in those yellowing pages of newsprint, was an obituary--the obituary, to my astonishment, of our family matriarch, an ex-slave named Jane Gates. "An estimable colored woman," the obituary said, also mentioning that she had been a mid-wife. "That woman was Pop's grandmother," my father said, quietly. "She is your great-great-grandmother. And she is the oldest Gates."

Reaping the Many Benefits of Family Dinners

Fri, 20 Jan 2012 14:18:34 -0500

As a therapist, I often see families at my home office in the late afternoon. Many days, as I race downstairs, hoping to restore the brittle ties between moody teens and their discouraged parents, I throw a chicken into the oven first. As the smells build, I have the fantasy of saying: "Don't waste your time here. Go home right now and cook a meal and eat it together. Here are some recipes. Now, go." Instead, I often make mealtime a focus of therapy, and I have found that many disconnected families find their way back to each other through a nightly commitment to family dinners. Why this zeal about family dinners?

Inspiring Kids to Love Their Differences

Tue, 03 Jan 2012 18:19:14 -0500

Over the Christmas holidays, my husband Marcus, our 7-year-old daughter, Alex and I found ourselves in a local coffeehouse. This particular cafe also happens to be famous for making some of the best cupcakes in Houston, so it was a little treat for us to have hot chocolate, cappuccinos and dark chocolate cake balls so early in the chilly December Day.

Serving Up Spoonfuls of Gratitude

Tue, 03 Jan 2012 14:36:12 -0500

Recently, while attending a baby shower, one of the gifts to the soon-to-be new mom were note cards that accompanied each receiving blanket and basket of rattles, wipes and new baby gear, each offering sage advice from guests - the seasoned moms present. The tips ranged from "never let your kids sleep in your bed," to "take advantage of relatives wanting to babysit and take a break for yourself." But, the resounding theme was to embrace the small,

How Parents Can Navigate Their Finances During the Holidays

Tue, 13 Dec 2011 11:36:18 -0500

The holiday season is quickly approaching. While it is a wonderful time of the year, many parents find themselves filled with stress, anxiety, pressure or guilt -- especially if their finances are tight. Children don't make it any easier, as they constantly recite the list of games, toys and electronics they're expecting.

Reclaiming the Holidays

Tue, 29 Nov 2011 20:27:20 -0500

At the end of November, I immediately--and frantically--started making to-do lists of presents to buy, searching blogs for holiday meal and craft ideas, looking for cheap flights, and trying to remember where I put my glue gun. The overwhelming feeling of holiday craziness began to wash over me, and I’m not the only one freaking out; eight out of ten Americans experience increased stress during the holiday season. I spend a huge part of every day at The Story of Stuff Project trying to engage a different kind of thinking about our relationship to stuff and our consumer-crazed culture. The irony of me crouching over my desk trying to determine the exactly perfect kind of toxic-laden, superfluous piece of junk to buy for the people who matter the most is not lost on me.

Helping Adopted Children Find Their Identities

Mon, 28 Nov 2011 21:27:37 -0500

Twenty years ago when my husband and I adopted our children from Korea, it was suggested that if we loved them enough they would not crave missing identity elements from their past. Somehow this advice didn't seem right. We wanted to acknowledge our children's experience of often being the only Asian faces among their peers. So, we decided to be the only Caucasian faces among many Asian ones in the Sacramento, California Korean-American community.

Getting Kids to Try New and Healthy Foods

Fri, 11 Nov 2011 10:35:42 -0500

"How do I get my child to eat fruits and veggies?" "Is it okay for my child to take a vitamin supplement and then eat anything he wants?" "My child only eats five foods: chicken fingers, fries, applesauce, cereal and milk." Do any of these questions and comments sound familiar? As a registered dietitian, I hear them on a weekly basis from parents. I am amazed how many "picky eaters" I encounter. I see it from infancy through adolescence. (Actually, I meet plenty of adults, too, who eat the same foods over and over again.) So what are parents to do when their kids are reluctant to try new foods?

Helping at School When Volunteering Isn't an Option

Fri, 21 Oct 2011 10:07:01 -0500

As you settled into the new school year, did you receive requests to volunteer at your child's school? I thought so! Schools encourage parent involvement primarily because children do better academically and have fewer behavior problems when families are involved. Schools also benefit from the resources and support families can provide, which are particularly important in these economic times.

Steps to Stepfamily Success

Mon, 17 Oct 2011 16:46:58 -0500

Typical multi-home stepfamilies are like intact biological families in many ways. But, they differ structurally, developmentally and dynamically in many ways too. Stepfamilies who aren't aware of these differences risk using biological family norms and expectations to guide their day-to-day lives. That's like trying to play baseball with soccer equipment and basketball rules--guaranteed to create confusion, conflict and stress.

Learning Spanish Through Everyday Activities

Mon, 03 Oct 2011 11:17:32 -0500

A group of children swayed to the steady rhythm of salsa music as they surveyed the store front of a local corner market. It displayed both English and Spanish advertisements, an eclectic lunch menu, and an array of labeled tropical fruits and vegetables. Before heading back to school from our community walk, I asked the group, "What do you notice?" One child responded with sheer delight, "¡Es bilingüe, como nosotros!" ("It's bilingual, like us!"). As a bilingual educator working to promote bilingualism and multiculturalism in the 21st century, I find such examples of cultural and linguistic fusion in the community a great source of pride and encouragement. Now, more than ever, parents

Boys' and Girls' Brains: What's the Difference?

Sun, 18 Sep 2011 21:36:23 -0500

My wife and I have two sons and a daughter. We raised Dan, Brian, and Erin during the era when most believed any differences between boy and girl brains were purely the result of socialization. Everyone knew there were no innate differences. Nurture, not nature, was the explanation for any gender specific behaviors. Many parents raising both sexes, however, probably experience what Monica and I did. Try as we might, we could not ignore apparent inborn distinctions. New brain science helps us, as well as millions of other parents, solve the puzzle. Now we know there are differences between boy and girl brains because brain-imaging technology shows the differences in living color. What are some of the differences?

Inspiring Kids to Go Green at School

Mon, 05 Sep 2011 20:24:11 -0500

At home, we've taught our kids to turn off the lights when they leave their rooms, recycle cans and bottles, and maybe even scrape their dinner scraps into the compost pile. But what happens when our children head off to school? Next to home, kids spend more time at school than anywhere else, at least six hours a day and maybe more if they participate in after-school clubs or sports. How can we, as parents, inspire our sons and daughters to continue to practice in the classroom what they've learned under our own watchful eyes?

Nurturing Sibling Relationships

Thu, 25 Aug 2011 08:44:38 -0500

When my oldest daughter was seven and her little sister was five, I told them that they could go swimming after finishing a page of homework. After a while, my five-year-old raised two pages of work up in the air and proudly proclaimed, "We can go swimming now! Let's go!" Confused, I asked her what she meant because her older sister was still working on her homework. She replied, "Oh, mommy, we can go swimming now because I did two pages of homework." Wondering if she had misunderstood the guidelines, I pointed in the direction of her sister who was still busily working at her desk. With a proud smile on her face and wide-eyed excitement, my sweet little five-year-old exclaimed, "No, mommy, we can go now because I did two pages: one for me and one for my sister!"