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8 Ways to Reduce Challenging Behavior
After you have identified what triggers challenging behavior in your child, you can use that information to respond more positively to your child's needs. Here are some tips for how to get started:
- Change the Setting
Change the environment, activity, or people involved, so your child feels supported. For example, if your child becomes over-stimulated when playing games with her friends, you might recommend she avoid multiple distractions ("Why don't you turn off the TV while you're playing your game?") or try a different activity (like coloring or playing outside). - Respond Calmly
Respond to the situation calmly and without your own anger - adults may need quiet time too. If your child's behavior has made you angry, take a few minutes to calm down before deciding how to respond. - Teach Alternate Behaviors
Teach your child alternate and more socially appropriate ways of expressing what he wants or needs. For example, if your child fights over sharing toys with friends or siblings, teach him the process of borrowing ("Can I play with your puzzle for a little while?") and bartering ("I'll loan you my book if I can play with your puzzle.") Model this behavior for him by showing respect for his possessions. - Offer Choices
Offer choices and opportunities for your child to have more control over her environment. For example, if your child is a fussy eater, ask her what she'd like to eat, provide her with options ("Would you like a peanut-butter or tuna-fish sandwich?"), or make her part of the process ("Why don't you help me cook dinner/pick out groceries?"). - Notice the Positive
Notice positive behavior when it occurs and provide genuine praise. For example, "That was very nice of you to let your brother play with your toy." - Be Consistent
Make sure there are consistent and predictable routines. "We wash our face, brush our teeth, and put on our pajamas every night before we go to bed." - Avoid Surprises
When there is a change in a routine or schedule, prepare your child ahead of time so he knows what to expect. For example, "Mommy and Daddy are going out tonight, so we won't be able to read you your bedtime story. But why don't we pick out a book together for us to read tomorrow night?" - Have Fun
Make sure there is joy and fun in your child's life every day. Many parents find it helpful to play with their children before they have to do housework or errands. Think of what brings a smile to your child's face and make time each day to smile together.