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Happy Independence Day! Are you decorating your bikes and wagons for a neighborhood parade? Are you in the kitchen whipping up some yummy potatoe salad for a get together? Will it be a private firework show with sparklers in the backyard or are you heading out to join the masses for the big light show in your city or town?
We are headed back from a lovely beach vacation with tanned faces and rested hearts. While we endure the holiday traffic home, check out these 4th of July fun links:
Take the Knowledge of the Fourth quiz here.
How about all these amazing firework photos?
Don't miss the best place to celebrate on the fourth, you can catch A Capitol Fourth at 8pm on your local PBS station. It will be live! Did I mention the muppets from Sesame Street will be there?
Have a safe and happy day from all the Supersisters!
Right about now I'm way, way out in the bush of Rwanda, riding on the back of a motorcycle, wishing I had a little something for every little child I'm meeting along the way. I could be distracted from all the beauty around me by focusing on what I lack or what I failed to bring, but I know now that that would be a mistake. What these kids--and every kid, really--needs is our presence, our willingness to get down low and tend to the simple things at hand. A game, a joke, a smile, another drink please. This is incredibly hard to do, but it's not without its rewards. Kids catch our calm. They learn from us how to be still. How to just be.
I can't wait to be home with my kids in a few days after this Africa adventure. Here's my to-do "Be HERE" list. Feel free to share yours in the comments below.
1. Go bike riding.
2. Flop on the couch and read each other jokes out of Carter's joke book.
3. Let Madeleine sit real close to me (the way that sometimes makes me crazy when I'm working) and chit chat about nothing at all.
4. Make homemade popsicles or some other such project that I always say no to because it's too messy.
5. Sleep together in one of our big old beds.
6. Watch their shows with them, even if I think the plots are ridiculous.
7. Follow them around the house and kiss them all over.
How about you?
Ethan: Simon says 'stand up.'
Gurgle.
Ethan: I said 'Simon SAYS!'
Gurgle.
Ethan: MOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMM!!!
K: Yes, Ethan.
Ethan: Mom, he is NOT doing what I say!
K: I'm sorry, Ethan. But if we are going to get technical, he can't do what you say.
Ethan: MOM!! I am playing 'Simon Says' so Mason is supposed to do what I say.
K: In theory you are exactly right.
Ethan: Not in theory, Mom. For real he is supposed to do what I say. I told him to stand up.
K: Ethan, why do you think he isn't doing what you say?
Ethan: Because he can't really stand yet?
K: And?
Ethan: Because he doesn't understand what I am saying?
K: I imagine that would make playing 'Simon Says' a little complicated.
Ethan: But he is really supposed to do what I say.
K: Where's Nathan?
Ethan: He doesn't do what I say either.
I know exactly how he feels.
I'm lucky to have a parenting partner who knows how to hold down the fort when I'm gone. While there might be a box of Lucky Charms on top of the refrigerator when I return (it happened once before) there will also be reports of actual baths taken, teeth brushing, kindness, comfort and getting to sleep all together in one big bed.
The rest of you might not be so lucky. Care to share what happens at your house when you're away? Can you rest easy when you leave or is it a veritable free for all? Go ahead, ask the kids. We'll wait.
By the time you read this, I'll be on my way to visit dear friends in the northeast province of Umutara in Rwanda. One of the things I'm looking forward to most about this trip is the chance to be with little children in the village--these two little girls in particular who lost their parents to AIDS when they were still preschoolers.
It would be easy to focus on this as yet another really sad story, but the truth is there is still so much hope and acceptance and love around the world--even in the face of loss and profound disappointment--with these two sweet girls especially. I want my children to see the silver lining, so here's what I'll tell them about the children I meet.
Kids all over the world have the same developmental tasks as you do. Everyone laughs because I actually do use phrases like "developmental tasks" with my kids, but I think it's important for them to recognize what their brains and bodies are trying to do at each particular age and stage. To help them understand that all kids have these same interests and challenges--no matter where they live--makes the world a little bit smaller a place.
Kids all over the world know how to do amazing things. While my kids might be mortified to talk to the shopkeeper or do certain things by themselves, kids in Africa, for instance, have tons of experience in navigating public transit, managing their own time and taking care of the needs of themselves and others. Instead of painting a picture of need, I want my kids to know they have plenty to learn from kids around the world who are full of spunk and can-do energy.
Kids all over the world need each other. No matter where you live as a child in today's world, your future will be shared not only by the people on your street, but by those who live a continent away. Our environment, our economies, our education structures will continue to be more interconnected as technology brings us closer together and makes us each more beholden to the others as our choices increasingly affect one another.
What do you want your kids to know about the world? What favorite books or movies or stories help you share your particular worldview.
Ethan started early in the day.
E: Can we camp tonight?
He asked no less than 30 times. Derek finally gave in and put up the tent. No one paid attention to the weather forecast. A little rain never hurt anyone, right?
They asked if I wanted to join them. My kind of camping is either at someplace fabulously famous or historical or camping at a five-star hotel with a 42-inch television and a jacuzzi bathtub. I know it's wrong but it is the way it is.
They raced out to the tent with a couple of couch pillows, a couple of sleeping bags and a flashlight. Ten minutes later Ethan came in the house and got a plastic bag. I should have asked questions but I figured his father had it under control. Another ten minutes went by and he came back in to show me his bounty.
There were three lightning bugs in the bag. The sealed bag. He began to tell me how he was going to keep the lightning bugs until tomorrow. I flashed back to that time when I was five and I decided to keep two hundred lightning bugs in a bug lantern overnight. Imagine my surprise when I found 200 lightning bug corpses in my bug lantern the next morning. I think the incident made me who I am today and who really needs to go to therapy over dead lightning bugs?
K: Buddy, if you don't set them free, they will miss their dads.
With that he set them free. Unfortunately he set them free in the tent and Derek killed one by accident when he mistakenly thought it was a mosquito but I did save the life of two of them. And hopefully shaved off five or six hours of therapy when Ethan is older.
By the time you read this, I'll be on a plane on my way to Rwanda to set some things in order for an upcoming project. Of all the questions people ask me about international travel, here's the one I get the most: What do you do about your kids?
Here are a few things I've learned about how to take care of your kids when you know you need to be away for an extended period:
Only leave them with their favorite caregivers. Now is not the time to stretch them or ask them to do hang in there with someone who they aren't so sure about. Your tried and true favorite babysitters or family friends will be your best bet now.
Try to center all childcare arrangements within your home. For my kids anyway, I find that things go much more smoothly when I'm not sending them here and there or piece mealing their childcare arrangements. Plan to preserve home base and let caregivers come to you as often as possible.
Build in rituals for hellos and goodbyes. I make a conscious effort to spend quality one-on-one time with each of my kids at least once before I go and once when I return. Carter especially looks forward to these connecting times and it gives us a chance to talk deeply (or just have fun) before I go.
Stock up on faves and raves. I don't always have the budget to do this, but when I do, I try to make sure my kids' comfort foods are on hand and that they have easy access to good decent snacks to serve themselves. Kids whether they show you or not are concerned with their basic survival, so this is an important security measure that can go a long way.
Plan something fun to look forward to for the end of your stay. Everyone will start to get a little antsy and be ready for you to come home. You'll make those hard days easier by making plans for the kids to see favorite friends (or cousins) in the days right before you arrive.
Check in about what worked and what didn't while you were gone. By giving your kids permission to be honest, you'll get the inside scoop on what really happens and what you can do to make it work better next time. Give them all your empathy for the parts that didn't work; it's never easy when mom is away and it's only fair to acknowledge that.
What about you? Have you ever left your kids to go far away? What little things helped ease your journey?
She begged me for these hair elastics in the store. I gave in wondering how they were ever going to work with little fine hair. Somehow, out of sheer will, we got every last one worked into her hair for the last 4 days straight. She called them her "pretties".
Hair has been on her mind a lot lately. She asked Josiah to hand her the travel art box scissors while we were driving the other day. All I heard was, "No Lucy, you can't cut your hair." One lecture explaining the joy of the salon later, I thought we had nipped that playing hairstylist thing in the bud. A few days later while coming home from picking cherries she asked the boys for some paper and scissors. I didn't think too much about it since the paper was involved and she was in deep love with the "pretties".
Yep, you got it, beside a chunk of hair missing on the top, she managed to actually layer the sides nicely. Hair was everywhere, all over the car. The three year old hairstylist couldn't resist. I would show you but she won't let me take her picture yet.
Tell me, I know you have to have a kid hair cutting story or a bad haircut story yourself. Lucy will listen, its all part of the job.
The weather has been a little crazy lately. We have had so much rain that when I hear Mr. Steve, one of my all-time-favorite people in the whole world, singing the Rain song, I contemplate throwing something at the television.
The kids have been cooped up inside too much. I know that we have reached this point when I walk into the living room and find the two of them on top of the armoire. The scary thing is that the box that was on top before was on the ground and I never heard it hit the ground. It's really heavy. I'm fairly certain they couldn't lower it to the ground themselves. I wish I had one of those motion sensors that would go off when the kids go higher than 3 feet in any given room.
This time I was feeding the baby in the family room and they were playing with cars on a track in the living room. In the old days (read three months ago), I always knew someone was getting into trouble by the silence. Now I have to pay attention because the safety in their talking is no longer effective.
They were having this long conversation about playing mom and dad and who was going to be forced to be "MOM" while the other person got the awesome role of dad. They were having the conversation as they were climbing. I happened to walk by as they were deep in discussion above my eye level. When they realized they were busted, the both began apologizing profusely. I just wanted them to get down and not get back up. I guess we'll have to add the living room furniture to the pile of chairs we recently moved to the basement. It's only a matter of time before they are giving each other a leg up.
Sun, please stay out so we can play in the much safer yard filled with ticks and mosquitoes.
We had our tent exactly ten years before it ever made its way out of the box onto a real campground. The first time we camped, Carter spent the entire time looking like this:
While the rest of us responded like this while he complained and cried ALL DAY long:
It was no fun, let me tell you.
Two years later, I'm happy to report, we recently had a very positive camping experience that I'd love to share, but before I do, I'd love to know how camping works with your family. Did you grow up in a camping family? Do all your kids like to camp, or do you, like me, have a wild card on your hands who's been known to fall apart when encountering anything new and potentially overwhelming?
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