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The fruit snack debacle and fitting in

Posted by Patience on January 6, 2009 at 6:10 AM in Patience
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It's a rare occurrence to see those gummy little fruit snacks in my pantry. All I can see are the judgey Jane eyes of nutrionists and dentists everywhere when I pass them in the snack aisle. I then imagine my college aged kids buying them by the case load to keep stashed in their dorm rooms because "mom never let us have these", so I pick up a package like 4 times a year. This same logic does not apply to pizza and ice cream apparently which I am happy to purchase with zero guilt, go figure.

I bought Lucy some My Little Pony fruit snacks and thought since it's such an exciting treat, I would throw one in Jack's bag for his snack time at school. I wondered if the My Little Ponyness was a little young so I took them out of the bright pink packaging and put them in a small container.

"Mom, I don't want to take these to school." he said.
"Why? I thought you LOVED fruit snacks!" I replied.
"My friends will make fun of me, it's okay, thanks anyway mom." he said looking a little resigned.
"Oh dear, this is a problem. But what if you like them, I say blow off your friends." said with my most brave voice. "Let's ask Josiah if he has any advice, he's been in kindergarten before."
We tell Josiah the problem and he returns with a very flat and matter of fact, "Just tell them, Stop making fun of me, I like my fruit snacks."

Jack replies, "I'll just eat them now, how about that?", the advice offered being rendered completely useless.
"I think I know how you feel Jackie, I don't want anyone to make fun of me either. I used to be so worried about it when I was a kid. I still get worried about it sometimes. I think it kept me from trying some things I wanted to do but I had to learn a little bit at a time. You'll figure it out, it's okay."

Ummm, I'm still figuring it out. I promptly called my sister to analyze this parenting pitfall and obsess over my own childhood. She, much like Josiah, made it simple.
Her advice:
Go light with with him. Make your house and family the safe place. Tell him: "No problem buddy, We'll keep the My Little Pony fruit snack love on the down low. How about you have them when you get home?"

Problem solved. How is it that we even attempt to parent without the village?

I ask you supersister readers, what would you have done? or what do you do when the potential of projecting your past onto your kid creeps up? Let us know, oh wise ones, in the comments.


Amber writes...

I have no words of wisdom, except to say that I was the one who bought fruit snacks by the case because my mom never allowed them. Only in my case it was fruit roll-ups. When I was 8 my mom kept saying, "Fruit leather is better than fruit roll-ups! That's why we buy them instead, right?" And I agreed because I was expected to, but I never believed it.

Although I don't buy them for my own kids. Maybe it's time to implement your plan. Everything in moderation, right?

Christine K writes...

You think you have problems?
I found myself buying Twinkies last month for my 5th grader. TWINKIES!
I had always sworn my kids would never ever take things like that to school...and then there's this tear-filled, 10-year-old voice saying "I'm the ONLY kid who NEVER brings twinkies" and there they are, in my cart.
I would like to think we will outgrow social pressure when we are old and wise, but last week my mom pulled a Ring Ding out of her cabinet for her grandson. He had asked her for it, so she bought it.
My mom, who NEVER let us eat the good stuff when we were kids. I mean the bad stuff.
Oh good grief, I give up.
I'm going to go have some cake.

Jana writes...

The challenges you face as a parent. Teach your children how to ignore what others say.

Kat writes...

Being made fun of for fruit snacks?! and I thought it was bad back when I went to school.

Kelly writes...

Oh, I am so grateful for my village because many times I am the village idiot...

What a gentle and appropriate response your sister gave you.

And kudos to you for reaching out for support!

ed hardy writes...

Sometimes I think I got into fashion because of my sheer love of words, because garment-making has such lovely ones. Some of my favorites are broderie anglaise, toile de Jouy, peau de soie, silk habotai, jabot, redingote, and faille. Tulle makes me think of dance class, Degas paintings and other super-romantic notions, which makes it the perfect name for this whimsical, feminine e-shop.ed hardy
The prices are reasonable and the selection is girly but not too much so. It's like the shopping equivalent of Sweetarts: sweet, slightly retro, with just enough kick to keep it interesting. Below is my favorite thing: a perfect little summer dress so adorable that it would make a boy write a twee pop song about it. Dressaholics, be warned: Tulle has many, many cute ones..

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