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The Raspberry Debacle

Posted by Patience on March 6, 2009 at 7:00 AM in Patience
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We had a knock down drag out about raspberries. I'm sure it wasn't actually about the raspberries, but man oh man, it sure felt like it. I rarely buy raspberries, especially in the dead of winter but they felt like self care somehow. I decided I would buy one thing in the grocery store for me, just me. It feels like I'm always holding back on eating the fruit myself in the name of more good nutrition for my kids. Let's face it; if it's healthy and they'll eat it, we mothers are positively giddy.

Lucy loves fruit almost as much as I do so I wasn't surprised when she started to help herself to my new pint of luscious raspberries. I offered her some in a cup along with some strawberries and said, "Luce, these are my raspberries I bought special for myself, I will share some with you but you gotta ask me okay?"
"Okay mama!" she replied.
I then hid them in the BACK of the refrigerator and left to do some work. One hour later I came back to make lunch and there on the couch was the empty container, raspberry goodness gone.

Let's just say there was yelling and crying next.
"You aren't angry!" she said.
"I am angry, those were MY raspberries!" I replied.
All of the sudden I started sounding like the three year old. We went back and forth. She finally broke after I refused to give her a princess band-aid she found on the floor. I felt silly and strangely satisfied. "I'm so sorry, so sorry I ate your raspberries!" in her most dramatic voice. "Can you hold me?" she says. I hold her and we exchange more apologies. One week later, a new pint of raspberries and another empty container found.
Oh age three, what do I do with you?

Refrigerator locks? Tell me, if you know or have known the drama of three, do share your wisdom...or even better, match my story in the comments.


Jess writes...

Oh, I feel the drama of three! We are deep in it right now. It seems like so much of the struggle has to do with the scarcity principle, feeling like we must have something now because it won't be available to us later, and feeling like we must get the thing we want in order to feel control. I keep trying to practice abundance here, but that can be so hard when the thing you want is an out of season fruit - whether literal (raspberries) or figurative (peace and quiet here!).

May you and I both find our way to spring and summer, and an abundance of the fruits we crave!

PatienceAuthor Profile Page writes...

Talk about abundance- I am rich in love and support over here...When I arrived at school, my dear friend at Lucy's school, Anne, passed me a bag and told me to open it in the car. Sure enough, there was a pint of raspberries! Can you believe that? Like my daughter, I ate the ENTIRE pint on the way home. What would I ever do without people/mentors like this in my life!

Ann writes...

That's so funny. Hidden cooler in the corner of your closet? Eat them right away? Some kids love frozen berries...what about frozen raspberries for her so you don't have to share your treat?

Amber writes...

Oh, one night a few months ago my own three-year-old stole my dinner from my plate. I was so angry, it was not pretty, the yelling and the crying. But it's also not OK that everything we have should be considered common property.

I don't have any great answers. I hide my treats from my daughter, since at 4 she still can't be trusted to not eat them. Then I eat them when she's out of sight, and deny that my mouth smells like chocolate.

Nicole writes...

My younger brother lives with me, and despite that he is now an adult, he still has no issue taking MY leftovers. So...when I want to make sure I get my leftover pizza from his favorite local pizza joint -- I put it in the fridge in a Pei Wei bag. I've learned that he hates Pei Wei, and I've also learned that I get my favorite pizza leftovers. :)

nyjlm writes...

I heartily recommend Your Three Year Old: Friend or Enemy by Louise Bates Ames and Frances Ilg. Your library very likely has this. run! The pictures are dated, and I wasn't crazy about some of the discipline ideas, but the value of this series(from Your One YO all the way to Your 9-14 YO) is the way they describe NORMAL child behavior. It's a very affirming read, you know that it isn't you, it's just a thing kids do. I'm pretty sure the Three Year old one was the first I read, and it was a life saver. My year of 3 with my daughter was brutal. brutal. Lucy reminds me very much of my sweet Maya. Four was a lot better, five had its moments but six was awesome and seven is great most of the time. When in doubt, I head to the library and get a hefty dose of reassurance.

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