It was late and they were fighting again. Jack knows just how to push Lucy's buttons to get that shriek out of her. I try to ignore it most of the time because that little girl can sure hold her own. This time however, she cried, it was the hurt feeling cry. It seemed the usual little sister and big brother bother had a little mean thrown into the mix. It was a sign something needed to be said.
"Jack, buddy, I think you've reached your limit my friend. I gotta take some Wii time away tomorrow." I said.
There was a look of instant panic. It's kind of rare at our house to have an actual punishment, lots of logical consequences but this, the Wii, it was a biggie. He started crying and it soon escalated into a full out tantrum. A tantrum at the age of six. I was kind of stunned. I started questioning my decision a little since the response was so strong and so rare for this kid. I guess maybe it had been building for awhile and a release was in order. There were so many big feelings and that can be tricky sometimes. I wasn't sure what to do but then instinct took over.
"Jack, do you know what can happen sometimes when you are getting into trouble a lot?" I said.
"No, what?" He said while trying to catch his breath in between the sobs.
"You can forget that you are loved. And the truth is, when lots of trouble is around it's a time when you need love the most. Do you think that could be happening to you right now?" I said.
His little face kind of changed. His eyes crinkled and his own hurt feeling cry started.
"Yeah! I need more love mom, I need more love." He threw his arms around me and buried his head in my chest and sobbed big, heavy sobs.
"I know Jackie, I can tell. And I know you are a kind boy with a good heart, I know this about you, it's okay. And papa is away and he is the one who snuggles you so much, I think you are missing that too." He nodded and we sat together in the moment.
We climbed in bed, all four kids. My arms too full with babies to even hold him but he snuggled up against me. He fell asleep with a red and puffy face and a quiet sigh, the drama behind us. I closed my own eyes knowing we would all wake up to less Wii, but maybe a little more love.
Any tricks for the big feelings in your house? Do share in the comments.