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A Yes Mom
Half of all the sentences in our house start with "Can I...?" and the answer is "no" or "in a minute" or "maybe later" around half the time. I wonder between school and home how many times a day a kid hears these words and phrases. While I've been trained over the years to be positive, I feel like I haven't been very engaged lately. Maybe it's a serious amount of laundry, facebook, four kids or working on my own projects but the "no's" were stacking up.
I decided to say yes a little more and add a new phrase to the mix, "Do you want to...?".
Yes, I would love to read you some books.
Yes, you may have some chocolate milk.
Yes, we can go to the park.
Yes, I totally want to see your Pokeman cards and hear about their evolution.
Yes, I do want to take a bath with you and play mermaids.
The kids have been so much more cheerful. I am a little more tired but feel satisfied in at least trying to be a better parent. Who knows how long it will last before I'm ignoring them to take a really important test to find out my hippy name? By then I'm sure I'll be realizing I need to work on some other aspect of this life long journey. I hope in the end our kids know we tried and cared.
Do you ever get caught up in the "no" cycle? How do you stay engaged in your kids lives?
8 Comments
I think the "no" phase can become cyclical. All of a sudden I get to a point and I realize, "When was the last time I gave a moment to her (my daughter) or gave myself a chance to have a moment and enjoy our time?"
Moments like this are great when we come upon them ourselves. The worst though was this past week (I did the MS150 and have been training for a triathlon) when my daughter said "I love you so much mommy, but I miss you!" I hit my like a pile of bricks. I'm so glad she's not afraid to tell me what she needs from me.
BTW, I skipped the "hippy name" quiz and went right to the "first 5 cars I've owned". LOL
Believe me... I'm all ears
Say yes often enough and you'll rarely have to say no.
I try and say yes whenever I can, but for my sanity I have to say no sometimes or I'd never get anything done!
Of course my little one is in the two's so he's still at that clingy stage where he wants to do EVERYTHING with me.
I agree with Steve...
I needed this post, thanks P.
I just started saying, let me think about that for ten minutes. Then I wasn't saying no in haste, because, the bargaining is just coming next, doesn't it always.
i read some article, how to raise a kid.. It say that.. never tell to your kid that it is wrong or never.. Coz they degraded their self esteem and stop to develop their sense of importance..
this is true guys???
I try to say yes as much as possible. Some things just require a NO answer, but for the most part it's Yes.