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Four Is More

Posted by Patience on April 10, 2009 at 7:00 AM in Babies
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happy swinger

Nicole writes:

Would you be up for having 5 kids? Do you get tired of people (like me) asking you how you manage with 4? I have two and still can't figure it out!

People ask me all the time if I think we'll have more children. I don't mind at all, although my answer usually reflects the kind of day I'm having. I think when you go past 3, people start to think you might be on your way to getting your own television show.

I had a light bulb moment about life the other day while heading to pick Lucy up from preschool. I looked at Lyra and thought, "Four times really isn't that many." Four times to have a newborn nuzzle your neck, or an infant be mesmerized by the ceiling fan, or a toddler construct funny 3 word sentences, or have a preschooler gift you a macaroni brooch. The time of being little is so short with each stage holding its own magic.

It also means long nights and tired days, more people who need part or sometimes all of you. Many days I feel stretched very thin in a way I haven't before. I wonder what it will be like when we have four teenagers, four college tuitions, four individuals finding their way to adulthood. While I think we could have more children, I imagine we will have to make a clear intentional decision to stop here.

I am soaking in all the "last" times of babyhood. Here is the game I play with Lyra (sometimes for 30 minutes straight) that I never want to forget:

If you are finished having kids, how did you know you were done? If you aren't finished, how many children do you plan on having?


Carrie writes...

We're about 7 weeks from the arrival of our second child, and that will be it for us! Both my husband and I come from 2 kid families, and so that number always seemed right to us. After two high-risk pregnancies and a lot of stress, we're even more sure :)

Amber writes...

I have two, and I have thought that I want more. My youngest is only 8 months, though, so the timing isn't right. In fact I recently thought I might be pregnant (I'm not), and as I was waiting for the pregnancy test to finish I realized with total clarity I'm not ready for another one - yet. It was the clearest I've felt about this in a long time.

Kristen writes...

Your daughter is so precious. I found myself smiling back at her.

Sky writes...

I don't want to be done having kids. I'd love to eventually have 4 or 5. My hubs however, begs to differ. We have a boy and girl....they are almost 8 years apart in age, but he's happy with what we have. I know I should be too (I am, don't get me wrong!) but there is that newborn longing in my heart.

Elizabeth writes...

My hubby and I think we want 3 or 4 kids. Right now we have only one very busy 17 month old. We're in the planning/trying stages for number two though. We're taking it one at a time though!

Gina writes...

I love that laugh... so glad you got it on video.

Missy writes...

I have 4 and wouldn't change it for the world. The youngest are twin boys that are 5 Years old and the other two are 9 and 8. People always say are they all yours and I say yes! It was hard when they where babies,but now its not so bad, they play together and are really close to each other.

Nicole writes...

Thanks for taking on my question, Patience. BTW, I believe that you are handling four kids quite beautifully!

Lisa Cartolano writes...

We have five children, and we've found that no matter how many you have, it's crazy and chaotic; but we wouldn't trade it for the world! Enjoy your little ones!

Lisa C.

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