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Moms Say the Darndest Things

Posted by Kristen on April 30, 2009 at 7:14 AM in KristenRaising Boys
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"Who tried to push this bar of soap down the drain?"
"Why is there potting soil in the pasta collander in the sink? How am I going to drain the pasta for lunch in a minute?"
"I left you for three minutes to take a shower. Why is your brother in a completely different outfit?"
"Get down from the top of the fridge. NOW!"
"You can't put anything out the window. Not even your head."
"Where did you find that red marker? I thought I threw ALL the markers away."
"Why is there red marker on the couch?"
"You can't climb into the dish washer."
"Stop trying to ride the dog. He isn't a horse and that isn't nice."
"Get out of your brother's crib."
"I'm going to the bathroom. Keep your brother alive until I come back."
"Why are there three empty bottles of hand soap in the bathroom sink?"
"No, you can't flush toilet paper down the toilet if you don't go to the potty in the toilet."
"What happened to your diaper?"
"Is this poop on your pillow?"
"How could you have lost the remote to the car DVD player in one day?"
"The next person that I find standing on the counter goes in time out."
"Where did you get that chocolate bunny and why are you hiding under the dining room table?"
"A toothbrush is for your teeth."
"Am I going to have to get rid of all the chairs on this floor AGAIN??"
"Stop trying to pour your own milk. It's a full gallon and you are two. Just ask mom for help."
"Who broke the lock on the fridge?"

That was just since Sunday. What have you said this week?


anne writes...

see, when it's not myself saying these things they are actually funny. Thanks for the laugh, even if it is at the expense of yet one more mothering moment of frustration

Liz K writes...

My latest:

- no you can't do your homework in the closet. How about the bathroom?

- I am not sending you to school with a licked face.

- Do I have a whistle around my neck? No? Then I am not the referee.

- The world does not exist to be your audience.

Libby writes...

Hilarious. I first discovered this phenomenon when my son was two: "Would you like me to hold the moose while you climb up the ladder?" Nonsensical sentences, if taken out of context, are simply silly. My favorite of yours: "Why is there potting soil in the pasta collander in the sink?"

Kate writes...

I laughed out loud!

Jess writes...

This week is a blur, but perhaps my favorite of all time was:

"Please allow your brother to shake his own booty. Every one should only shake their own booty."

Appropriately enough, my reCAPTCHA includes the word "tush".

Mary Ellen writes...

This was a really good one! And, cute pic!

I may have said--"Fine! I'll make you lunch."


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