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Am I Kate?

Posted by Patience on June 1, 2009 at 7:00 AM
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daisy delight

So I'll admit it, I watched the 57,000 hour marathon leading up to the big Jon and Kate premiere. Well, not the entire marathon but you know how certain shows can become scarily addictive. Everyone wonders what it would be like to be a fly on the wall at your neighbor's house and this gives you a chance from the comfort of your couch. I was drawn to the show occasionally in the past but now, like the rest of the world, I'm totally sucked in.

I have always had a sort of uneasy feeling about Kate. She is strong, and bossy and sometimes ridiculously difficult. She kind of scares me. While watching her I think to myself, "Oh my God, that is me?! Is that what it looks like?". I know, down deep inside, that if a camera crew followed me into my kitchen during the last six months, there is a definite chance of catching quite a few "Jon and Kate" moments at my house.

A sort of compassion fills my heart and I wonder what it must really be like to have that many small children. How every ounce of you must be pushed to limits you didn't
even know were possible. I'm pretty sure the OCD and intense control freakery was part of Kate before she even began this whole journey, but I wonder if this is an extreme version of herself invited by the circumstances of her life. Or maybe not, but you must admit her strength and resolve are pretty incredible. Could you do what they have done? It was the couple's humanity that called to us in the first place, the belief that perfection is not the end all but rather being together the best way we know how is.

So throw in massive amounts of fame and money on top of an already insane and amazing situation and you get another family ruined by reality television. There is nothing to draw you back to where you started, a young family just trying to make it. Instead we watch the dismantling of it all and I find it so incredibly sad. I hope and pray that they can find their way back to the beginning when all they had were each other and so much more.

Okay, weigh in Super people. I know you have been dying to, even if you say you don't. Give it to me, what do you think about Jon and Kate plus 8?


Carrie writes...

I stopped watching this show about a year ago, because I just couldn't take it anymore. Part of the problem for me was what you said- I see too much of myself in Kate and every time I watched her respond to her situations, I was scared that it was the same way I would respond. I'm a very organized, type-A person who likes things done her own way. I know I would seem domineering and bossy and grouchy in a situation with that many small kids. For that matter, I probably do with just my one (almost two) kid(s)!

I feel sad for their family overall and think they need to walk away from the TV show. It doesn't seem to be bringing out the good in anyone anymore.

Kristen writes...

Are you Kate? Please. If anyone is Kate-ish, it is probably me. I just saw a tweet the other day. The guy said, "I'm not a child. Don't treat me like one." Um, I'm going to go out on a limb here and guess that he was ACTING like a child and got called out. I think Jon and Kate's dynamic worked for them until the pressure of life (and t.v.) got to them. Jon drives me nuts because he is milling around the house, looking lost all the time. He's not the essence of helpful and her control-freakness doesn't help because she isn't letting him help. But to let him get off for his bad behavior by vilifying her makes me ill. Everyone makes choices. She might be crazy, but he is the father of 8 kids. I'm sorry he's young but he was part of that decision. Partying in bars and picking up chicks is acting like a child. He needs to grow up.

Alex writes...

I have to admit, I watch because it is like watching exactly what I would be like if I had 8 kids. I wonder though how much of this is edited to show the nagging, etc. Catch me on any family holiday in any airport and TLC would have clips for years. My husband wanders off to look at the planes, my daughters whine that they are thirsty or want to go shop in duty free and I am trying to deal with luggage, tickets and making sure we are getting to our gate on time. I am sure people have stopped and stared at me as I scream shrilly "MIKE - grab the bags, help the kids get their shoes on" as I am being wanded by security for my underwire bra. Can you imagine doing this with 8 kids? I think Kate is doing what a lot of moms are doing, working her hardest to give her kids the best she can. Jon on the other hand comes off looking disengaged and childish. It is like he wants to give up on not only Kate but the kids as well. Why is it okay for Jon to act like a frat boy according to the press reports I am seeing, but Kate is villified for trying to work and keep her family organized and together? I feel like the press needs to step back and look at the double standard they are continuing to perpetuate. Did we not see this with the race for the Dem. nomination? While I am a big fan of Obama, you have to admit, they ripped Hillary to shreds! Watch what they will do to Sotomeyer over the next few weeks. What makes it okay to cheat on your wife? Nothing!!! I don't care how much of a nag she is. Leave her first, but don't go off drinking and hanging with other women. It is disrespectful to her and why is the press condoning this? Why is this okay?

lydia writes...

I'm so glad to see this point of view of J & K + 8 finally. All I've heard is how it's their own fault and people repeating tabloid "facts" about how awful she is. As far as I'm concerned, whether you're a type A like Kate or not, every single one of us could have tiny parts of our lives examined and contorted in ways that would make others look at us and say, "Oh, wow, what a bitch," or "I can't believe she lets her husband treat her that way!" The show is edited to make compelling TV. There's no way anyone should be judging them from the small segments of their lives that we see.

I agree with you--I hope they are able to salvage what they once had, and my heart goes out to all ten of them...

Jess writes...

I can't imagine allowing camera people to follow me around! There isnt enough money in the world!

Sarah writes...

I've only seen snippets of this show, but I know the party line about Kate being domineering and bossy and pushy and Jon being aimless and immature. It gives me pause that YOU, Patience, think you might be like Kate. I mean, you are one of the most unnagging, unbossy, unimpatient people I know. The fact that you see shades of Kate in yourself is somehow so reassuring to me--like we all have the capacity to get like that when we are overstretched and overtired, even if we are generally calm and patient people. It makes it a little easier to be gentle to myself about it.

Tammy writes...

Thank you for your thoughtful and very insightful view. Although I have watched the show and thought "No Kate, don't go there!", I thoroughly understand what it is like to be overwhelmed by husband and kids and just lose it. We have been inundated with negative opinions of Kate, and I have to wonder if those that condemn her have looked in the mirror lately. It is obvious to me that she is a good mom and that she loves those little ones very much. I pray that Jon can be mature enough to forgive Kate for losing it once in a while. Meanwhile......I am going to keep watching!

Jess writes...

I'm not a J&K+8 viewer, watched my first clip ever the other night and found it so cringe-worthy that I had to stop...but I agree that when I hear about her, I think that could be me given enough kids. #3 has really pushed my limits and made me realize what my boundaries are. I'm not having more children because for me, 3 is the most I can handle and still be anywhere near the kind of mother I want to be. 8? I can't bear to think what kind of a mother I'd be to 8 kids. My heart goes out to her for facing that challenge every day.

kate writes...

yeah, i feel sorry for both of them. honestly i think they would probably be going through this even if the cameras weren't around - but now they get to do it in front of the world.
Though, i do remind my husband that i totally see where Kate is coming from and i think it scares him a little so he avoids acting like Jon :)

M. Brown writes...

Reality tv gets to us sometimes. Even if you can't choose otherwise, you'll be hooked. I don't know if the price they pay for everyone getting on our case is well worth it.

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LeeAnn writes...

Patience, you are so not like Kate. I will have to admit I have only watched one episode and that was enough for me. I love my family way to much to put them in the eye of the public. Besides, who has the time. I pray God will help them get back to reality, not unreality tv.

kimberly/tippytoes writes...

I've only seen a little of this show, mostly because I keep thinking about their carbon footprint - I mean all the paper plates alone, eek!, but I see why she has to be strong personality to keep everything running. Now I feel bad for their kids and how sad that they (Kate? Jon and Kate?) are televising the potential demise of their family.

Jenna writes...


You are definitely NOT Kate. If you and Jorge had a reality show, everyone would love you guys! Your family is one of the coolest, gentlest, sweetest families I know. I am sure you have your moments, like we all do. But I know the way that you deal with it is something that I would wish to copy.

I agree though that I'd never want to be on Tv with my life. I sometimes am afraid that the neighbors might hear what is going on here...I can only imagine if it was on the screen for EVERYONE to see. I hope that they can get through this and just enjoy the blessing that they have and mostly keep their kids protected from future media limelight and scrutiny.

Rick writes...

While negative news and gossip swirls around the web about Jon & Kate Gosselin and their family, a new blog is joining the ranks of those praying for this couple and their family - The purpose of this blog is to refocus attention on praying for this couple, their marriage, and their family's healing.

Featured also are many resources and tools to help strengthen your marriage.

kelly writes...

you're a little bit kate and that's one of the reasons i love you. if you didn't have your kate moments, you would lack the edge that i adore so much.

i love jon & kate plus 8 and have been watching it for years. when this whole scandal broke loose, i was in major denial--i really did not want to believe that this family could be falling apart.

i don't know how many times i have been having a bad day with my two children and thought of jon and kate and had my WHOLE day put into perspective in a millisecond.

i'm really sad for that family. i want so much for them to find their way back to each other. i still have hope.

YMGH writes...

If time is money, this one family has been the recipient of billions of dollars for the attention their crumbling life has received. We should give them a break and shut it all down, they should salvage their lives like everyone else does, out of the eye of the media. The world is full of mothers trying to care for their children under great duress, let's give them some attention. And we can work out our own issues by asking an honest friend. I say "TLC...end that show!!" and let Jon and Kate figure it out like everyone else does, at least they have a whole website praying for them!!

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