Whose working harder? Who has it worse? Who is the "real mother" in the bunch? These are the questions stalking the blogosphere this last week as mothers hash it out over who has it harder in life--the work-at-home mom or the work-outside-the-home mom?
This supersister is pretty sure that the grass is always greener no matter which side of the fence you're on, and there's no perspective more skewed than the one you have when you're knee deep in the trials and tribulations of your own particular stressed out existence.
Here's a thought: What could happen if we could offer kindness and empathy to the other mother by letting her know we recognize the hard parts of the particular choice she has made? What kind of encouragement and connection would be possible then? What if we focused on the positive aspect of our own choices and asked for help when we struggle to accept the inevitable limitations inherent in each and every path? What would happen to the mommy wars then?
I think the primary issue is our own insecurities about the choices we make. We each and everyone of us have moments when we wonder if we're doing it right, if we made a fatal error, if our kids will hate us for not being there enough or for being present and constantly distracted. Instead of dividing ourselves up into who works where, how about acknowledging our common ground. We all work. And it's hard. And because of that, we need each other so, so much.
Don't you think?