Oh ho ho I'm sure there are many of us in this big, leaky boat of yours. All of your solutions are ones I try and they usually work for me. I'm normally a proponent of "tie the discipline to the unwanted behavior" and don't like to overuse time-outs, but maybe necessary this time? At least it will get her not talking for a few minutes so you can re-group, re-grip, and get a chance to catch your breath!

I keep asking for her to ask me again because, and I swear I repeat this daily, "WHINING DOESN'T GET YOU WHAT YOU WANT" I'm kind-of in the same boat. It doesn't always help. And she can make herself cry, too.

Oh, yeah, I feel you. Option E is to wait until she turns 5. 5 was a lovely year for us. Then came 6. Sigh.

We're there too. I know this sounds terrible, but I whine right back at her, "Are you whining? Because I can't hear whining, (Switch to normal voice) I can only hear you when you talk like this." And then I ignore her until she gets it right. Sometimes when I truly cannot handle it (full on fit) I send her to her room by saying, "It is too bad that you chose to whine about X. All that whining made me so tired that I don't think I can do anything for you." This tip is from Jim Fay & Charles Fay, Ph.D. authors of "Love and Logic Magic for Early Childhood: Practical Parenting from Birth to Six Years." I reference this book so much, I have worn off the cover.

oh gosh, what a difficult topic, agonizing for a parent. as with machines that are losing their power, so it is with humans of all ages. teaching a child at a young age to take back their power is worth all your efforts, as hard as it is. the solution varies with each child. how can a child feel powerful in the midst of childhood. they have the power to chose how they feel about their circumstances and how they deal with their frustration and in the power of choice, they make choices that bring changes in how they feel about the powerlessness of childhood. very difficult to learn at any age. model it to them in how you deal with your own powerlessness, watch them pick it up faster... hopefully.... hahahaha

do you want some cheese to go with that whine? Ooops sorry out of cheese, turn it off. I used to say that when all else failed. and you are trying all the right things - you are. But you are the mom and so it is going to drive you crazy and apparently that is one of her jobs right now. So just ignore the whiney request until she says it correctly. Headphones can help too, you just put them on your own head-you can see her :) you just can't hear the whining. I feel for you, good thing your name is Patience. thinking happy thoughts for you.