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Family Rules

Posted by Patience on October 13, 2009 at 7:36 AM in Parenting tips
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virginia bliss2

There are pretty much only two rules in our house. Well, there might be a few more but they are pretty minor. You must be kind and grateful. If you aren't doing those two things, it will send you to some place of talking to figuring out why. Let's be honest, maybe a long lecture or the occasional raise-your-voice kind of moment.

This subject got me to thinking. What are the rules in your house? Those spoken or unspoken, the things you really want your kids to take with them beyond the walls of your house and into adulthood.

Tell us what your family rules are in the comments. My nosy self wants to know.

Also, check out Jen's guide to passing down your values to your kids.


2xboysmom writes...

The two biggest rules that guide all others in our home (of 5 kids) are respect others and respect yourself. It all comes down to that, really. Doing chores = respect for those who live with you + respect for a job well-done (self); Behaving in school and public = respect for those around you + respect for yourself; Doing well in school = respect for your successes and respect for those who teach you; etc. ad infinitum! I want them to be patient, humble, kind, giving, frugal, and many others, but when you look at all of those traits, respect for yourself and respect for others are the underlying keys to success.

Karen writes...

We teach compassion,hard work ethic, honesty, and of course discipline to name a few, our boys now ages 17 and 18 realize that they are responsible for their actions, and have been encouraged to work hard and become productive members of their community. There are the occasional flares of attitude they're teeenagers afterall, but usually come to the conclusion on their own that, that isnt the best way to deal!

Mia writes...

Yes - be kind and grateful.... and POLITE. Plus, no whining, no bickering (gratutious arguing), no DRAMA, , LISTEN TO EACH OTHER, respect each other and each others' privacy and possessions and our home. I want my daughters to be confident without being arrogant or obnoxious, and to take their greatness into the world to do with it that which makes them proud and joyful.

Becky writes...

Be kind. --This includes using kind words and trying to keep a positive attitude even when life would suggest us using other responses.

"You get what you get and you don't throw a fit." -- Life throws curve balls at everyone and we should step back and figure out how to respond before...responding.

Love. -- Everyone deserves a little love, even the "not-so-lovable".

Be safe. -- Mom and Dad set up house rules to keep us all safe. If you question one of the rules, ask why and we'd be happy to explain it.

Stephanie Baker writes...

Rules that seem unique to our household are:

** You get what you get and you don't throw a fit. (Initially relevant to toddler food, still great for my 8 y.o.)

**No crying in the kitchen.
(When my daughter was young she'd throw a hissy in the kitchen while I cooked. I made this rule so she'd pull herself together in her room, unrewarded by my presence, and come out when she's calm.)

**You have to earn privileges.
(So the chore list must be complete before TV time.)

Lacy writes...

OUr kids are 17, 14 and 19 months so here are a few fro over the years aside form the standards (no fighting, no whining)...

1)"If you can't share it it belongs to mommy." (don't bring it out if you can't share it)

2)no tv on school nights (3-6th grade) w/ some exceptions (news, newsprograms, nature and educational watched as a family)

3)You must read an hour for every hour of tv watched.

punishment in our home when they were old enough to write was essay writing. Spelling punctuation, grammer and content counted. Both kids are A students, very strong writers lol they didn't usually have to do it, the threat was sufficient.

Nancy writes...

I have been looking for a parenting website that I could actually use in the real world. Thank you writes...

Yesterday I dropped into my parents' house, and my 3 yr old was standing on the couch bouncing. My first thought was, "Well, I don't care b/c couches are for bouncing, but maybe my dad would mind," so I asked her to stop. My dad looked at me and say, "Why, she can bounce on it. She isn't doing any harm." Oh yeah-- I guess the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. But as far as rules, I really like 2xboysmom's comment. Very much right on. It all comes down to respect. I made sure to let my dad know that if he didn't want her to bounce on it, I would enforce that. So I respected his house, I guess.

Sue writes...

As preschoolers my two children had four rules that they recited after their prayers:

1) Be good
2) Get along
3) Do your best
4) Have fun

They are in High School now but still remember them.

Chella writes...

We are a Christian family and two of our three daughters, ages 5, 4, & 2, have accepted Christ into their hearts. But with or without that decision, the principle we use for "rules" in our house is this. Love. If what you are doing is not displaying love to someone, don't do it. Love is self-less, so they are learning not to be self-centered, but to look outside themselves and treat others as they'd wish to be treated. If they know THEY would not like it if someone else did it, they should not do it. It's a work in progress but their theme verse is Colossians 3:12-15. I ask them (and myself) often, "What that putting on love?" For us as parents, the key is setting an example before them and practicing what we preach. If we can't do it, we can't ask them to :)

Susila Dewi writes...

Great article.. very helpful

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