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Jen: January 2009 Archives
So much good happening on the web this week--the most exciting news being that Supersisters is hosting a Super Valentine's Giveaway February 2nd until the 14th. All you have to do is leave a comment, and everyday you get a chance to win something wonderful either from PBS Parents or from one of our friends around the web. On Valentine's Day we'll do the big give and send home an HP Photosmart
7280 Wireless Printer or a lovely Graco SweetPeace to two very lucky supersisters who comment from now til then.
And before I forget...Here's what not to miss around the web this week:
Why not make February the month of true love always at your house? Read your kids the legend of St. Valentine for starters or make a library run to collect your favorite books about kids and friendship? If you start now, Valentine's Day will be about so much more than candy and cards by the time the 14th rolls around.
If your kids are more techy than crafty, let them make Valentine's Day cards online with their favorite friends from PBS Kids. These card makers are easy to use and will give your kids a chance to include a wider range of family and friends.
Are you feeling the need for the kind of no-strings attached affection that often alludes mothers of babies and toddlers? Watch this video and read the true life story about how a community of kindness rallied to support our human need for an uncomplicated display of affection.
Looking for a way to help your children bring love to the whole wide world? I had the honor of meeting Greg Mortensen this week and was delighted to learn about Pennies for Peace--a very simple way even small children can help make a difference in faraway places on the planet.
In case your dose of mommy guilt is being served up with a hefty side order of shame this morning--here are some kind words that are more true than you know.
You are not alone.
You are not the only one.
You aren't perfect and neither am I.
You can make amends.
You can make space for someone else to grow.
You can let your kids see the real you.
You can be in process.
You can start again.
You can learn something new every single day.
You can trust your kids to learn something new, too.
You can ask for help.
You can let yourself off the hook.
You can laugh if you want to.
You can be human.
You can be loved.
And here's a bonus link from one supersister to another. We're all in this together, girls. For real.
Do you have a new baby coming soon? Want to cook with your kids? Need a new way to help your child overcome frustration? Come see what lovely links we've found for you.
Sometimes it takes an experience with a first baby to help you realize that you need to make a change to a new health care practitioner. Check out this playful and sage advice about how to choose an OB/GYN from Amalah on AlphaMom.
Winter is the perfect time to cook with small children. Use this guide to help you avoid common frustrations in the kitchen when you want to include your kids. You'll be delighted to see what good things start simmering in your family when you work together.
Are your kids hitting one of those developmental stages where the task at hand leads to tears more than progress? Here are some good tips to help you ease them through the transition time while they learn to conquer new skills.
Are your kids close together in age? I've always marveled at parents who skillfully navigate the sibling issues that arise when kids are overlapping in development. Check out this helpful article to help you avoid the chaos and create the ties that bond.
Today I watched while Patience zipped up Lyra in a front-pack carrier and headed off to the National Mall with Dave and a small collection of friends determined to watch history in the making. Lines quickly morphed into crowds, cell phone coverage was sketchy and the chances of hearing let alone getting up towards the front were slim. Still, the desire to be connected and to be a part of something new overruled more practical concerns.
Madeleine and two of her friends decided at the last minute they wanted to go downtown, too, while the boy cousins opted to stay home, sleep in and celebrate by playing the Wii. No matter. This is the first inauguration our children are most likely to remember, and chances are good that they'll grow up thinking it's completely unremarkable that a black man served as President of the United States. They'll reflect not on the color of his skin but the content of his character. They'll have a hard time wrapping their minds around the idea that anyone ever thought it could not happen. They'll marvel that it took us so long to understand that this is the way it was always meant to be.
It's a feel-good Saturday at Supersisters Weekend Roundup. From artists to musicians to the best love letters ever, here are four delicious links you won't want to miss plus a bonus click back to Supersister secrets revealed.
For any parent who's ever had to do battle with monsters under the bed, this whimsical video will warm your heart and maybe calm your little one, too. Artist Mati Rose teams up with her illustrator husband Hugh D'Andrade and songwriter friends The Church Animals to create a creative art space for parents, kids and yes--even the monsters that live under the bed at your house.
Poet and new mom Sage Cohen writes about the loveliness of new baby love and the absurd and sweet nature of belonging. In a time where ranting and raving about the inconveniences of babies seems to saturate the blogosphere, this kind ode is a welcome relief.
This week President-elect Barack Obama will be sworn in as the forty-fourth President of the United States. As someone who lives inside the beltway and where Michelle sightings are the talk of the town, the fact that this President will bring little children into the White House is big news. Read the soon-to-be President's letter to his daughters as they make the biggest transition of their lives.
Horribly nostalgic for you own days of childhood when PBS programming was the only thing allowed on the tube? You'll be thrilled to discover The Electric Company is back and it's better than ever.
And if you were waiting with baited breath for the secrets about the Supersisters to be revealed, don't miss this post here.
I've always been a beats-to-a-different-drummer kind of girl, so it makes sense I suppose that I'm never quite dialed in on conventional parenting wisdom--especially when it comes to things like when's the best time to potty train or learn to swim or learn how to clean up after yourself. I usually need a little nudge before I realize I better get on this thing or that, and most of the time it comes from my kids or society at large begging me to get with the program.
I don't remember buying big girl panties for Madeleine or deciding We Are Potty-training Now or any of that. We did buy a potty when she was two and we did make a big deal whenever she decided to sit on her thrown and squeeze out two drops of pee or the tiniest little poo. But she wasn't that into it and neither were we. She seemed so little to me, and I was still new enough as a parent to feel insecure about setting up structure when I was so unstructured myself.
My big wake-up call came when she was three and a half and talking about going to school. School? Do you mean nursery school? She had no idea, of course, other than that she was bored out of her mind at home. That much I knew was true. So I checked out the nursery school scene and quickly discovered to my horror that potty-training was required. Yikes! It was only then that I did a little inventory of her peeing and pooing habits. She absolutely was dry at night. Check. She absolutely could go for a few hours and stay dry in a pull-up. Check. She adored public restrooms. Check. And she almost always saved her big dumps for the potty--at least ever since the one time I gently suggested she not unload that full pull-up under the desk on the living room floor.
I told Madeleine the deal which wasn't hard since she was halfway to FOUR. You can go to school, but they really, really want you to do your business in the potty. Can you do that? It's just a few hours, I begged. So wise at three and a half, she nodded solemnly and got her ticket out of the nut house with mom and the new baby and spent many blissful mornings making incredible messes at finger paint center. Her pull-up stayed as dry as the Sahara Desert. It wasn't too much longer before she was ready for big girl panties like the other big girls at school and was dry all day long.
I was ecstatic.
When I reported this parenting triumph to my friends, they nodded subdued congratulations and then graciously pointed out, "FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, JEN, WHAT DO YOU EXPECT???? THE CHILD IS ALMOST FOUR YEARS OLD?" And it was only then, in true oldest child I-had-no-idea-what-the-rest-of-you-people-were-doing-all-this-time-fashion, I was truly shocked that anyone thought I was delinquent or that Madeleine was late.
It seemed to me we got there right on time.
My toileting crisis came much later when Madeleine decided in a fit of misdirected girl power that she could pee in the yard like any of those "stupid neighborhood boys". But I'll save that for another post.
Any other non-toilet trainers out there? Leave me your success stories in the comments below, so I'll know I'm not alone. Sage warnings also welcomed if your hands-off approach totally backfired. We'll take it all.
How's your new year treating you, supersister? Here's our raves and faves from this week in January. Enjoy.
Okay, wondering whether you should drink the koolaid and give in to the High School Musical frenzy? Check in with PBS Parenting Expert Diane Levin and get a take on how to handle the pressure on little girls to grow up way too fast.
Need a little guidance on how to help your kids handle the inevitable embarrassment of trying hard and coming up short? Meg Casey writes about taking her son Max to see a hero who happens to fall down on the job--as a professional hockey player. The experience is just the Rx for teaching your kids that we're all human and we all can be winners when we learn that failing is part of the game.
Missed the rush of New Year excitement? Having a hard time jump starting your goals for 2009? Check out this lovely essay by Superhero Andrea Scher and remember one of your tried and true secrets for gettting unstuck and motivated for the year to come.
Wondering what simple thing you can do to move our lovely green earth towards an even lovelier future? Take one night off from lights and electricity with Cecilia and her two little girls. This experiment in conservation and mindfulness makes for a smooth bedtime and a better world. Check it out.
It used to be that we knew everything there was to know about babies in our house. We were veritable baby experts with a thousand baby tricks and a hundred baby books on our shelves and more well-researched opinions than any one household in America.
Then our babies turned into toddlers and all the fleeting discussions about a third passed and then we were parents of elementary school age kids and that was that. Now I ask silly questions like, "Would the baby like some pizza?" and "Do you think she'd like to sit here or there?" not having any recall really about what babies do and don't do. I honestly don't remember. All I wish for is that they feel included. And that they do NOT cry.
Crying, I do remember. Crying I still can't take even for one second.
This weekend I had the chance to spend a little time with baby Lyra, Patience's fourth (and final?) baby. We stared at each other for long spells until someone laughed or the other one smiled. She's something, that Lyra. She watches and waits to see where her dear ones are in the room. She sits quietly waiting for her moment, just in case you're curious to see her sweet, slow smile.
I like to think of babies as new friends. Lovely little people I am just this minute getting to know. I feel responsible that they are so new. I hope they know they are welcome in the world and that the people around them are glad they arrived, just in time. I think of this now when I meet grownups who eat pizza and sit wherever they want without a second thought. Each one of us used to be a tiny baby, I think. Each one of us used to be so fragile, so calm.
(Even you.)
I hope you will be gentle and kind to the crying, screaming, not smiling babies today--the one in your house AND the one in your heart. I hope you will think about the beginning when you were little like Lyra and needed the simplest things like someone to sit with you, someone to hold you, someone to wait for your sweet smile. You still need it. You really, really do.
Whatever stage your child is in right now will pass.
You will be delighted to discover the next stage of parenting brings both happiness and new challenges.
You will discover new strategies to deal effectively with those new challenges.
You will not do so, however, without the counsel and kindness of a dear friend.
If you do not already own a pet, you will be petitioned endlessly to reconsider.
Someone, probably your two year old, will have a meltdown in the grocery store.
You will consider doing something new to your hair as the solution to all your current parenting dilemmas.
Your new hair will help.
You will experience waves of terror considering that all these little people will someday grow up and leave you.
This thought will be followed by long daydreams about the cleanliness of your house, the purchase of a white couch and the bliss of your grown-up vacations together.
You will continue to do your best thinking in the car, when everyone is either plugged in or sleeping.
You will discover that doing random acts of kindness with your children is an unusual kind of happiness.
You will decide that taking turns with children, when it's your turn is overrated, and that sometimes it's okay to require exactly what you need.
Relax will be your new mantra and you will master the art of the stolen snappy nappy.
You will find deep satisfaction in simple things--like rainboots (see above), crisp fresh apples and take-out dinner rescue.
You will go a little easier on yourself knowing you aren't in it alone.
Feel free to add your predictions for the new year, including any topics or parenting trends you'd like to see discussed in this space in the year to come.
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