Supersisters Countdown to the First Day of School

Posted by Jen on August 29, 2009 at 12:26 PM

10. Get your supplies. Do so without succumbing to the gimme monster or any other reportedly essential need for glitter glue or sparkle pencils.
9. Go to open house. This is the must-do activity of our back-to-school rituals. Kids get to connect with old friends and meet the new teacher before day one.
8. Clean out that pit of a bedroom. Everyone will understand something big is happening a lot quicker with an environment change. Nothing says school is coming like being able to see the floor for the first time all summer!
7. Line up the approved wardrobe for first day of school and beyond. For those of you with temperamental five year olds or fashion-challenged third graders, the sooner this happens the better. Fill the drawers with only pre-sanctioned color and design choices. Let the rest go to Goodwill!
6. Stock the frig with after school snacks. This will improve motivation to sit down at the table first thing in the door and cracking on that homework. Having something to look forward to on the snack platter is a lovely consolation prize for the agony of math or science.
5. Give that new bedtime a whirl. And while you're at it--how about that new wake up time as well? Better to know now what you are up against in making the switch to saner hours. Good advice on that front here.
4. Get your sidewalk chalk ready and get those camera batteries charged while you're at it. Nothing soothes first day jitters like putting some good energy out there yourself.
3. Put your best intentions out there. Ask your kids what the best things are they could wish for in the new school year. Write them down, put them in a little wish jar and see what happens next. Good to know as soon as possible it's okay to dream big.
2. Get a great night sleep. Like the night before Christmas and the day of Halloween, I'm not sure how this can possibly happen, but give it the old college try. It's your motherly obligation.
1. Send them off with a big woohoo! We have an old friend who used to yell out the car window or the front door "Woohoo, world!" anytime her kids did anything exciting, noteworthy or just plain fun. Letting your kids know you're excited for them helps them show their deep down excitement, too.

What's left on your to do list before school starts?

Back-to-School Bedtime Blues

Posted by Jen on August 26, 2009 at 7:00 AM in Jen, bedtime

If you are like me, you're looking at the calendar and thinking Oh dear Lord, how will I ever get these children back to a normal bedtime before they start school on Monday? The answer is: You won't. But. You can get headed in the right direction which is what we're doing right now.

Here's where you can start:

Wake everyone up bright and early. It doesn't matter if they get dressed, speak to you or are coherent in anyway. The point is that they wake up and get moving. By the time bedtime rolls around, they'll at least be a little bit more tired (and ready to sleep) then usual.

Cut way back on screen time, especially in the evening. No more watching a movie together before you go to bed. The part of the brain that needs to wind down, winds up in the presence of visual media, so cutting that out of your child's evening diet will definitely help move things along in the nighttime hours.

Do some family research online about how much sleep is required. If you have a blossoming logician at your house (like we do) this kind of fact checking makes a strong argument for a reasonable bedtime. This also cuts down on sibling issues because the research shows which ages need the most sleep--ironically, that number goes up and down depending on where your child is in development.

Get those rooms in order. Now is the time to break out the comfy sheets, buy a new pillow and make that room a crib any child TV star would be proud of. In the same way your kids needed convincing sleep space when they were babies, they need a good place to snooze now. Reinforce as many positive associations with their sleep space as possible.

Nudge bedtime a little earlier each night. Ideally, you would have started this two weeks ago (where did the time go?) but it's never too late to start. By gently moving your kids to an earlier sleep time, you'll be giving them the support they need to wake up naturally on their own come a school day morning. I know I've succeeded when no one needs a morning call to wake up and everyone comes down on their own accord--yes, it can happen!

What's your best tip for getting kids back on schedule? Do you ease them in gradually or go cold turkey on a school schedule bedtime? Or (perish the thought) do you actually put them to bed on time all summer long?? Tell the truth in the comments below.

Supersisters Weekend Roundup

Posted by Jen on August 22, 2009 at 10:45 AM in Jen

Thinking this summer got away from you before anything exciting happened. Let this video from a round-the-world traveling family inspire you to dream big for next summer. You have a whole year to plan!

Miss the assignment of writing about what you learned on your summer vacation? Read this lovely essay from Supersisters favorite Meg Casey. There's no one mama more soulful than Meg who knows how to be playful, too.

Are you gearing up for the first day of school? We want to remind you to get your sidewalk chalk and get ready to spread some good cheer to chase away the back-to-school jitters.

How to Love an Eleven Year Old Girl

Posted by Jen on August 19, 2009 at 1:24 AM in Jen

1. Give her something to be in charge of.
2. Let her have a pet.
3. Laugh every single time she cracks you up.
4. Delight in her fierceness.
5. Make space for her crabbiness.
6. Speak of her positive character qualities in public.
7. Spend alone time with her, even if she acts like she doesn't need it.
8. Be the one to introduce her to all the best things about being a woman.
9. Let her bring along a friend.
10. Give her a chance to make a difference in the world.

Happy Birthday, my sweet Madeleine! May this year surprise and delight you and let you know in new ways you are deeply loved and never alone.

Back-to-School Sidewalk Love

Posted by Jen on August 18, 2009 at 1:50 AM

We're just a week and a half away from the first day of school and for once I can honestly say I wish the day would never come. Summer days passed way too quickly; I can't remember a summer that was as fast-paced and action-packed as this one. We won't know what to do with ourselves once school days hit and we have to settle into a regular routine.

Still, for all my wistfulness about our passing summer days, I am looking forward to the first day of school when we'll be able to welcome everything encouraging and good--not only for us but for everyone who walks to school on our very friendly street.

Care to join us? Break out that sidewalk chalk and get your messages ready. The new year is just around the corner.

Supersisters Weekend Roundup

Posted by Jen on August 15, 2009 at 9:00 AM in Jen

Are you shocked and amazed when your kids are more resilient than you realize? Here's a great post about how tough (and tender) our kids really are.

Need a little sibling bliss to help you remember your kids too do get along every now and then? Here's a lovely photo essay with some helpful links from the everyday life of a sweet family.

And we still have wonderful book recommendations for you. Listen to this nice interview from Lindsay Lebrasco.

Quality Time vs. Quantity Time (Part Two)

Posted by Jen on August 12, 2009 at 7:58 AM in Connecting with kids

I'm writing to you from a very kid-friendly hotel in New York City where I'm trying out my theories of quality time vs. quantity time with Madeleine and Carter. We agreed before my latest twelve day trip to Africa that quality time for us would look like an overnight at the beach before I left and an overnight trip to New York when I got back. I forgot to factor in the exhausting four hour car rides when deciding to test just how far quality time will take you! Note to self.

At this juncture--since I'm really tired from traveling and a bit irritated with everyday kid stuff --why does Madeleine have a Sharpie tattoo, for example, and when did Carter start the systematic tormenting of his lawyerly sister with nonsensical arguments?--I'm wondering if there's any quality time at all if you don't have some quantity time as a foundation to spring from. To say I'm burning the candle on both ends is putting it mildly.

Despite the hurdle of trying to move mountains, I think we're all learning exactly what it takes to feel connected--whether the together time is abundant and mundane or highly-focused and exciting. Here are my thoughts so far for your review:

The time we spend together is witnessed by the memories we create. I thought creating exciting adventures would put something grand in the memory bank, and while we've certainly succeeded on that front, my kids are telling me they need very regular boring memories, too. Like mom making a special lunch or taking them to the park every single day. I'll be keeping this in mind when we make plans together for the fall.

Being cheerful and happy to be together trumps everything every time. More than where we are, my kids kids are focusing on how we are. Me crabby because they've been arguing for an hour over whether Carter accurately remembers coming to New York (all the way from DC) for a field trip in first grade (oh the insanity of it all!) makes more of an impression than the Empire State Building. I hate to say it, but mom's mood does matter and so does the kids'. Building conditions for harmonious interactions might be the secret ingredient whether we're spending fifty hours together or one.

Bringing your heart to the mix really does make a difference. You can run your house like clockwork or be the most exciting mom on the block but none of it matters if your kids don't deep down understand your heart is right there with them. We can go through the motions (and granted, the motions do matter) but what stays with any human being is the presence of mind, heart and soul in every interaction we choose. I'm thinking about this as we finish up our little string of exciting reconnecting times and move into more of an everyday mode as school starts soon. My kids need me and I need them--no matter what kind of time we're able to spend together--and I'm hopeful that understanding comes across in the months to come in everything that I do.

Any lingering thoughts on quantity or quality time? Here's your chance to have your time in the comments below.

Kids Can Do Anything and Other Thoughts That Occur to Me

Posted by Jen on August 5, 2009 at 7:00 AM in Kids Around the World

I'm writing from Kigali, Rwanda where there is no shortage of ten year old girls who are happy to tell me their stories and show me their strength--in their academics, their home life and their dreams for the future. One of the things that strikes me about children in Africa is how independent and self-sufficient they are. Your average ten year old can navigate the bus system, go to the market to buy food, care for a younger sibling, wash clothes by hand and walk a good mile or two to carry water home for the entire family.

It begs the question: are we spoiling our children by making sure they are cared for, entertained or watched over every second? or are we truly giving them the protection that they need from legitimate dangers that exist in our society? What do you think? Can you imagine raising a ten year old to be capable of handling much more responsibility?

I'd love to know your thoughts in the comments below.