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Posts by Patience
I pulled up to the car pool line, the door flew open and the kids jumped in.
"Guys, I have terrible news." I said.
"What?" They replied in unison.
"I totally mixed up the dates and we missed Sammy's birthday last night!" I explained.
"Oh no! Poor Sammy! We missed it?" Jack said.
"I know! I feel terrible, so I invited Charlie and Sam over for a birthday playdate." I returned.
"Woohoo! It's no problem Mom, we know exactly what to do." Josiah piped in.
We went straight to our local grocery store and the five of us headed to the bakery to pick out a cake. Lucy loved the cake with the alligator on top, Jack refused saying it was way too baby for turning seven years old. Josiah was trying to recall which flavor was Sam's favorite, chocolate or vanilla. In the end we decided on Boston creme which covered all our bases and seemed the most logical to everyone.
The boys ran to the door proclaiming a party for Sam, apologizing profusely and explained the mix up. It is always like a vortex when we pick up or drop off the boys together. Instant games of tag and rock, paper, scissors erupt and there is lots of whooping and hollering, pure joy.
I warned the kids this playdate would be in a house that was quite a mess.
Charlie didn't miss a beat. "No problem Patience, I love a good mess."
The kids ran into the house and I went to dig in the party box. I found some old pirate napkins, eye patches and earrings from a party long ago. There was some discussion if we should have a pirate party or not but Sam decided it was a good idea. Josiah cleared the table off, Jack got the cake ready, we all sang.
All children instantly went to licking the icing off of candles. It seemed the piratey thing to do.
"To Sammy on his birthday!" Jack shouted inviting the toast. "To Sammy!" They all replied as if they were old men who had done this for years.
It seemed even the baby knew exactly what to do.
The moment was over as quickly as it came. It was one of the nicest parties I have ever been to in my entire life. There were no invitations, no music, no presents, no goodie bags. The house was a mess, the guests rowdy, the joy deep, it was perfect. I wonder how often we plan so carefully to create moments when the best kind seem to be born on their own. Kids know this better than most I believe, living fully in the moment before them.
Do you have any stories ot spontaneous joy your kids cooked up? Please tell us in the comments.
If you wanna add some fun to your spontaneous celebration, check out the cool party ideas here.
We haven't talked about games very much since the last lesson in losing we all got. My nature as a parent is to pull back, if I'm honest, maybe even avoid such situations. My kids taught me there might be yet another option this week.
Jack and Josiah disappeared up into their room one night for hours. They were laughing and talking so I never checked in on them to see what they were up to. They bounded down the stairs very excited. They created they their own board game.
It is a fantasy style game, similar to those they have played on the computer. Each character was a kid, had a name and special powers, perfect for re-claiming your own.
The game has a complete set of rules and cards. It seems a little easier to follow rules and lose when you have ownership in the design and thought of the game.
I'm realizing that art can serve kids in a different way of process besides just the act of creating itself. This little game is a way to introduce a previously hard subject with a new and positive angle. It gives a chance to explore losing and gain strength and knowledge in knowing how to handle disappointment in game play.
Once again, I can see how kids can find their way by using their intuition and minds. Even when I'm not exactly paying attention as a parent.
What kind of role does art and creativity play in your house? Do you wish there was more? After this experience, I realized how much more I want to create a culture of art and discovery in my own home. How about you?
It was an epic battle battle of Monopoly. Jack had been begging us to play for weeks but honestly I was dreading it. Jack had been losing at lots of games lately and it was starting to really bother him. I think he thought this might be his chance to show the world (i.e. his brother) and himself what he can really do. He's a good little negotiator and is already sporting some business sense in these early years.
Jack had built a nice little empire of properties while Josiah turned down most opportunities to purchase real estate. Josiah was being cautious, waiting for the right moment but I could tell even he was starting to get nervous. Then he landed right on the jack pot, Park Place. He had acquired Boardwalk a few turns ago in a deal with Jorge. He immediately sunk every last penny into houses and hotels. Everything was stacked, the stakes were high, he just had to wait.
"Oh, I am so sorry Mom that you have to pay me but the rent is $350, I'm so sorry." Jack said with the most sincere heart. I smiled and paid my dues while quietly hoping Jack would win. The next turn Jack rolled the dice, counted nervously and instantly buried his face into his hands, Boardwalk. He landed on Boardwalk. He knew it was over, the heartbreak was just too much. We did the math, trying to keep him alive in the game while he sobbed.
"I lost everything!" he cried. To be perfectly honest, I wasn't sure what to say. I just rubbed his back, agreed and listened. I wondered how I could have navigated this parenting moment better. The competition was too much but he wanted to try so badly. I kept thinking how hard it is sometimes to be little and have someone bigger, faster, stronger ahead of you. Being the middle child myself, I know this part of learning, growing, being shapes who you are.
Tell me what do you do in moments with your children when losing feels so big?
How do you handle games, competition, and the like? Do share in the comments.
We are only a day a way from candy goodwill friends! The day when dress-up and sweet collide making Halloween every kids' favorite holiday. I pulled out some Halloween pictures from over the years remembering the fun costumes we made. Shaggy and Scooby being one of my personal favorites. Don't the kids look thrilled?
The role call this year is:
1 Lego character guy
1 ninja (new costume but repeat performance)
1 frog (mid-week switch, she was going to be a princess)
1 undecided (we have no idea about Lyra's costume)
What should Lyra be? Someone on Twitter suggested Ken Burns , which is still in the running.
What are your kids dressing up as this year? Please tell us in the comments, all the last-minute-Marshas are still looking for ideas.
We arrived at our family doctor yesterday for a regular check-up only to find people and small children waiting outside the door. The office was so packed with sick kids, the receptionist asked me to wait in my car and she would call me when they were ready. Yowsers! I felt for all involved. The staff was patient but looked a little haggard, the parents had wrinkled brows and the kids just wanted to be held.
"It seems like winter came early this year." Our pediatrician said. With all this flu talk and sickness going around, it might be good to have a few things in our parenting back pocket for such a time.
Here are a few ideas for your trip to the doctor:
1. Keep kids busy. Put tiny journals and color pencils in your bag for the office visit wait. Bubbles, stickers and tiny plastic animals can distract a worried mind. Play thumb wars and twenty questions with older kids.
2. Turn off the TV. The news can be quite scary for kids, heck, for me too. H1N1 news is a hot topic but little ears can be spared from the latest statistic. Information can pour in even when kids don't appear to be listening.
3. Talk straight, but be positive. Let your kids know what is going to happen (depends on the age/personality about how much information), and then remind them of your presence and support.
4. Let your child have as much control as possible. Let your child ask their own questions to your care provider. Introduce them to all staff that will be caring for them. Tiny decisions like what color band-aid they want and what you should do/play after the experience can help when they are feeling so powerless.
Do you have any tips for helping kids deal with the doctor, shots or general anxiety about medical care? Let us know in the comments.
Check out Sid The Science Kid too! He has a new episode about getting shots. This is also an awesome guide to how to talk to your child about going to the doctor and dentist.
We had our first fire of the season last week. The kids asked for hot chocolate and marshmallows. The leaves are doing that swirly thing in the air that makes me so happy and we have a daily discussion about Halloween costumes. Fall is in full swing.
Limited finances doesn't have to mean limited family connection. Here are a few low cost ideas for your crew:
1. Acorn Families- Gather acorns or any other round or oval shape things falling from your trees and create a family. We drew faces on ours with sharpies and then hot glued them to sticks we found. It was fun to see the kids different faces and shapes of the acorn variety.
2. Pick apples and pumpkins- Go on an off day to your local produce of picking choice at the end of this harvest season. There are still a few apples and tons of pumpkins. Pack a picnic lunch and take the long way home so you can soak in the beauty of the changing leaves.
3. Turn off the lights. Start a fire or light lots of candles and turn off your lamps for the night. Tell stories and drink apple cider. Make cookies earlier in the day to share. Play charades, twenty questions or even indoor hide and seek, your kids will love the play and will barely miss being unplugged for an evening.
4. Share a meal. Invite a family over for dinner. Pick a neighbor or your child's friend and share the cooking or have a potluck. Have a lego or polly pocket dinner, put a bowl of legos on the table just like the food. Every person can take a few pieces and make something in between bites. Take a picture of each person's creation at the end of the meal. Kids love when something fun ends up in an unexpected place.
5. Go on a moonwalk. Bundle everyone up on a weekend night and take an evening stroll to look at the moon and stars. A full moon is the best but not necessary. Learn about constellations and try to find them together. Buy one pack of glow in the dark star stickers and create your own sky in your kid's bedroom when you return. Moonwalks make for great memories.
Got any other favorite family connections? Please share in the comments.
We received information and permission forms in our children's backpacks about the H1N1 vaccine last week. I read them like every other concerned parent in America. Even after pouring over the information, I had one sticking point. I just could not imagine my child having something medical done to him/her without me being present.
I also wondered how exactly 400 children were going to get shots without it being a total emotional and a possibly traumatic event. We decided to wait to get ours at the doctor when we could be all together. If I am honest, I also wanted to see it distributed nationwide for a few more weeks.
The kids were relieved as I dropped them off at school yesterday to be spared from the shot for a while longer. All day I wondered how it was going, feeling for all involved in the process. The second the kids hopped in the car I asked them how it went. The carpool kids shrugged their shoulders and said it was fine, it barely hurt. My kids said only one child cried, it seemed pretty smooth. Kids are more resilient than we give them credit for sometimes.
Have you had the vaccine distributed in your area and school yet? Will you have your child vaccinated? Tell us in the comments.
There are pretty much only two rules in our house. Well, there might be a few more but they are pretty minor. You must be kind and grateful. If you aren't doing those two things, it will send you to some place of talking to figuring out why. Let's be honest, maybe a long lecture or the occasional raise-your-voice kind of moment.
This subject got me to thinking. What are the rules in your house? Those spoken or unspoken, the things you really want your kids to take with them beyond the walls of your house and into adulthood.
Tell us what your family rules are in the comments. My nosy self wants to know.
Also, check out Jen's guide to passing down your values to your kids.
I'll admit it, I put off helping her cleaning her room. There are moments when my tricks work but often times this dear girl requires me to be even more creative still. The only problem being that I had no creativity in my heart this particular day. I just needed her to do what I asked. Just do it.
I feverishly picked up toys while she laid on her bed, her forearm to her head, crying dramatically. "I just don't wanna clean up my room, I can't do it, I just can't do it."
She looked like a queen that had just been asked to clean the stables, with a toothbrush.
"I know you don't, but we must, I'll help you." I replied with little emotion in my voice.
I gave her a very clear and easy task, there was more wailing. I explained we will need to pack up some toys and put them away if she is unwilling to pick them up. Logical consequence, still no dice, just more drama.
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry I'm not cleaning my room." she wailed. I wanted to laugh but instead told her it was okay because there was still more to do and she had another chance. She said she needed a break and laid down once again. The room was almost done at this point, after almost 45 minutes, what felt like a very long 45 minutes. All was picked up except for a large pile of dirty clothes in the corner of the room. Out of no where, she got up and started picking up the clothes and carrying them to the hamper. I stood in shock while she came back for another trip until the pile was gone.
"Mom, will you take my picture?" she said while she stood next to the hamper.
"Yes, I would love to." I snapped a few shots and sighed.
"I'll get these too mom." She picked up the laundry in the bathroom.
"Thank you." I said.
She left to play, the storm passing as quickly as it came. Some days it isn't pretty, but it is a victory, no matter how small.
Having meltdowns at your house too? Got a drama mama like me? Check out this guide to help tackle the stickier moments of parenting.
I believe there is an artist in all of us, some very tiny and others huge. Many times we just can't figure out what our medium is. Childhood is perfect time to cultivate and explore this part of each human.Tony DiTerlizzi, illustrator and the co-author of The Spiderwick Chronicles took some time to talk to me about his own path to becoming an artist and best selling author.
His words about what role the adults in his life played in his journey really stuck with me as I have a little boy at home drawing monsters and aliens. So this weekend found us all around a table just drawing together. Jack picked up Ed Emberley's Halloween Book at the school library. We took turns drawing skeletons and scary stuff while Lucy drew self-portraits.
Here are some ideas if you are encouraging young artists in your house:
1. Use the real stuff. Wander the aisles in a real art store. They usually have a kid version of a little bit higher quality materials which are often times easier to work with and produce a different kind of art. It is more expensive but you don't have to buy a lot. It makes art feel special too.
If this feels like a stretch for your finances, delve into the world of creating recyled art, it's endless and great for the earth.
2. Practice, practice, practice. Have art materials everywhere. Keep journals and pencils/pastels in a kit for the car or your purse. Tiny balls of wax or clay in a take along bag or even a travel watercolor kit. Art can be done anywhere and at times when you need little hands to be busy.
Turn off the televsion, throw on some music, and leave materials on a table. Don't say a word. Let kids find and create on their own.
3. Have your own art show. Collect the pieces of work your child has created and hold your own art show. Send out invitations, create a gallery feel in your house displaying their art. Serve lemonade and cookies. Invite adults and children to share in the work and artist your child is.
4. Claim the artist. Refer to your child as an artist. Ask questions about why and how they create what they do. Help create space and environments in which they can work. You don't have to evaluate their art, try encouraging their effort and intent. Like everything else in childhood, it is about process and is always better when it is a form of play.
What other ways do you encourage the artist in your house? Tell us in the comments.
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