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Patience: May 2009 Archives
We noticed Josiah could barely see the television the other night during a family movie . He was squinting and asked to borrow Jorge's glasses for just a second. "Everything is so much bigger and brighter!" he said.
The next day I found myself will all four kids at the eye doctor's office. Poor Josiah, it was quite a scene. After waiting almost 30 minutes to been seen, the doctor ushered all five of us to the tiny examination room. It was just too much excitement for the peanut gallery to be quiet.
"You're doing great Josiah!" Lucy kept saying.
"Josiah, are you a little bit embarassed you are gonna need glasses Josiah? It's o-kay!" Jack said on repeat.
"F, Y, T, Z!" Lucy kept yelling in an attempt to help Josiah get the right answers. I think those are the only letters she knows.
After eye drops and even more tests, the doctor asked how he has been doing in school because it was a pretty strong prescription for the first time. My straight A guy has managed to make it in his fuzzy world. When all was done, we went to pick out frames. He picked the most rad pair. I love how funky they are. He asked if we could go to Chick-Fil-a to celebrate while we waited for his prescription. We toasted to a new world of everything becoming bigger and brighter.
On the way home he asked me what it meant to be a nerd. I could see the wheels turning and anticipating what might be waiting for him at school the next day. Part of my heart was in my throat as this is one of those moments where you have to walk beside your child instead of in front to protect him. We talked about how the word "nerd" can be mean but how in the end nerds rule the earth. We discussed all the super heroes with glasses. He smiled. I listened as he made his plan for less than positive responses and found his way to embracing this new part of himself.
All in all school went well, a few comments that were not the greatest but nothing terrible. He seemed proud and just fine. We even went to our neighbors for a popsicle party to show off the new lenses. I think we are all seeing a whole lot more.
If you wear glasses, do you remember your first pair? Any advice for navigating this change?
I sort of have a black thumb, there might be one tiny shade of dark green but barely. It seems every plant I touch dies. I water too much or not enough, maybe it is just there are too many humans to take care of and other living things get the shaft. The funny part is, I love anything that is in the process of growing. My kids have been asking for quite some time if we could have a garden but since getting the lawn cut is a major challenge, we decided to start small.
I surprised them this weekend with gardening tools and eight hearty petunias.
They decided on the pattern and plan in which they would plant. Let's just say I've grown as a parent because it wasn't even, nor did the patterns match.
Jack went right to digging.
Lyra watched and ate dirt.
Josiah added decorations. Not sure why but these little umbrellas are VERY popular right now. I bought a bag on a whim and they have been the source of all kinds of creativity.
We ended the day with trying to get the ever impossible shot of every one looking into the camera. For our memories:
Lessons learned so far:
1. Let the kids pick. Kid decisions always invite investment in all forms.
From hauling those plants to the car all the way to clean up, every one will have more interest in the project.
2. Take advantage of teachable moments. (or not) There are about a gazillion science and life lessons associated with growing anything. You can use these opportunities to educate. If you are prone to squeezing lessons out of anything all the time, skip it and just get your hands dirty together and have fun.
3. Have a sprinkler party. This is the perfect time to end with something silly. Keep your regular clothes on and play in the sprinkler with your kids. I promise they will remember it forever.
Have you done any planting with your kids yet? Tell us your gardening tips for kids in the comments. Look for more gardening goodness on Friday when my kids and I set out to explore other families' gardens around town.
Check out our own PBS gardening expert Jamie Durie and all his great advice for gardening together. A very cute expert, I might add. Don't you think?
I'm convinced children are the masters at communicating and connecting in our world. Why we don't take notes and classes is a total mystery to me. A code has been created in our house during the last few weeks. It is what we like to call The Cricket Code.
I'm not sure how she came up with it but Lucy has been tagging "cricket" to our names during certain conversations. When we picked up that it was a kind of code we all started using it.
"We are the girls together! Right mama cricket?" Lucy said.
"We are Lucy cricket!" I replied.
The code usually means one of four things.
I want to connect.
I love you.
I'm trying.
I need you.
In tense moments, I see her try the code to invite me to meet her in the middle. Other times it makes space for us to melt into a celebration of our shared goodness. Sometimes you just need a way to convey a thought or a feeling with out actually using the words. I am in awe when my children find ways to make our relationship better. In some ways I feel like I understand her in a way I never have before.
Do you have any codes or connecting games at your house? My friend Gina and her son Yates do this funny face game which ends in a tight hug and lots of giggling.
Are you looking for more help with this topic? I know I always am. Check out this guide for more connecting goodness.
I have a nasty case of mastitis which pretty much feels like the worst flu. This means while the boys are at school, Lucy has been playing LOTS of this and watching even more. The house is spiraling down into a mess, the dog hasn't been walked, we are in survival mode.
So I'll leave you with Heather's advice on what to do when mom is sick...if only I had a nanny or my mom close by.
Jack had been asking me to go to "The Haircut Place" for weeks. That would be the "Salon" to everyone else, to Lucy, it is "The Haircut Store". I had been avoiding this because it is an errand I particularly hate. It's hard to predict if it will be awesome or disastrous.
Lucy hopped up on the chair and told the stylist exactly what she wanted. The stylist was trying to talk the three year old out of a bob, too short she said. I felt certain these two could come to an agreement so I moved on to Jack. I told her just a trim because he has such beautiul curls and showed her with my finger how much we were thinking. She smiled and I asked if it would be okay for me to run next door to get a drink. Lucy's stylist shushed me out the door and assured me all was fine.
I returned ten minutes later to find EVERY curl had been cut off of Jack's head. Every. last. curl. Part of my mother heart died in that moment. "It's just hair, it's just hair...." I said on repeat in my head. The worst part was she was STILL cutting. I literally walked over and very cheerfully said I thought it was fine and we probably were good. I wanted to cry. She shrugged and said she just wanted to make sure it was even.
Jack jumped out of the chair and looked at me. I was speechless. Josiah saved the day.
"Jack, you look like a college student!" he said. "Awesome!" Jack said. He did look like a college student, the one that passed out before everyone else, if you know what I mean.
I finally came up with, "Do you feel older buddy?" I said. He smiled and was already climbing in the car. It was a total hack job. Not even a good haircut by regular standards. In some weird way, I think it was good. Haircuts invite you to a new stage in life, a new identity. Jack is happy and I'm just praying his curls return. After all, it's just hair, it's just hair.
Tell me your worst haircut stories friends! I know you got 'em! Spill it in the comments.
A Mother's Day conversation:
Me: Hey Jack, I'm going to pick strawberries, do you want to come?
Jack: Sure! I'd love to come.
M: Okay, but if you come you have to be kind to Lucy, no fighting, you have to get along. Can you do that?
J: Hmmm, Oooo, I don't know if I can do that, she makes me really angry sometimes. No, I don't think I'm gonna go.
M: No problem, I totally understand.
Five minutes go by. Jack comes down the stairs.
J: Mom! I really want to be with you on Mother's Day so I change my mind. I think I can do it.
Me: Sounds great Jackie-boy! Go get your shoes on.
I laughed to myself at the ease of the honesty in our exchange and the lack of judgement surrounding it. We had a glorious time picking together, one of our best. Jack and Lucy got along swimmingly. Wouldn't it be nice if we could all be free to admit our own limitations and have the space to change our minds and try? Oh, to be a kid again.
It's a super secret comment section today. Well, not really but let's pretend. Tell us what you are really thinking and what thing do you wish you could skip out of?
I can still remember as a little girl grabbing a big pile of books and climbing into bed with Jen. She would read to me for hours. I still love to be read to. The love of books has been carried on to our kids. I often find Josiah reading Calvin and Hobbes books to Jack late into the night with a fashlight. Lucy is way into labeling every obscure animal in the ever popular animal books from D&K Publishers. Lyra likes to both eat and listen to the famous and every little person's favorite Goodnight Moon.
We all know the books that we can recite in our sleep from years of toddler requests and yet we can't even be annoyed. It's pure learning goodness. I find that books are the one thing I'm a total sucker for. If the kids ask me for a book, it's as good as done.
Did you know we have our very own blogging book experts here at PBSparents? Superpeople, meet the Booklights.
Susan, Gina, Pam and Jen are our new blogging buddies and supersisters. Welcome friends! We can't wait to see all the wonderful suggestions you will be sending our way.
So tell me the current book obsessions at your house. For all of you, your kids and you!
What is the one book being pushed around in the toy baby stroller or the one sitting on your kitchen table that you are determined to read, even in 5 page increments?
It hasn't been my most stellar year of mothering. I have discovered a new level of hard I didn't know about yet. The sheer number of little people, the drama of a three year old with a lovely and yet intense personality, the needs of a baby. I kind of thought I had this thing under control up until now. It's a gift really, being humbled and joining the ranks of real parenting. Even though I like to reflect (i.e. mildly obsess) on my parenting on a regular basis, this Mother's Day I find myself with new and confusing feelings.
I'm not sure I deserve all the hoopla of honor, I have never been so edgy and made so many mistakes. It's been more of a triumph of survival and I'd be horrified and hurt if there was no fanfare at all. Sound familiar?
This is the year when I remember I birthed these children.
This is the year I discover how forgiving children are when they proudly present me with a macaroni necklace made at school.
This is the year to tell my husband what I would like to do because I need to know I am loved regardless of my performance.
This is the year to remember the 1,000 tiny things I do to keep this family going.
This is a year for self care, forgiveness and a new start.
This is the year that I run towards what brings me joy so I can bring it back to my family.
This is the year I tell my mom I understand her and love her in a new way.
Are you having the opposite kind of year? Do you desperately need everyone around you to see you in all your mothering glory?
Every mother I know seems to have a love/hate relationship with Mother's Day. What's your feeling about it? Tell us in the comments.
Supersister question of the day: Alright, Mother's Day is right around the corner. Tell us your dream day, beginning to end. Then leave this post up on the computer screen for several days for all partners, husbands and children to find. No seriously, let us know in the comments.
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