Some Days I Want

Posted by Patience on July 31, 2009 at 7:00 AM in Working Parents

Some days I want to spend the entire day exploring the new interest or idea my kids woke up with that morning.

Some days I want to walk out the door to an exciting photo shoot and leave the kids with a babysitter who makes cookies with them and does messy crafts.

Some days I want to stay in bed and read without even a thought of responsibility of any kind.

Some days I want to design and make elaborate large whole cardboard box villages with my kids in the backyard.

Some days I want to retreat to my local coffee shop to write and sip tea with no one asking me to prepare a drink, snack or meal.

Some days I want to grab lunch with people in my line of work and network over gourmet loveliness.

Some days I want it all...

Mostly, I find myself trying to write early in the morning before kids wake up, running to a photo shoot hoping I didn't forget my battery and grabbing a cereal bar for lunch while I juggle this still really good life I have. Yet I wonder what it would be like to work full-time, I feel guilty for being home but not always present, I add and subtract the never ending to-do list in my head. I imagine what it all should look like.

I'm realizing it must be in our very code as parents to wonder, hope, worry that we are giving our kids everything we can so they can live the life they deserve. At the same time, trying to do the same for ourselves as individuals. Everyone around us with the same hope but doing it a million different ways. We do the best with what is before us and still sometimes long for different circumstances or dream of the greener grass next door. I'm sure it comes back to taking stock of good, the good that we have and the good we are doing by loving and holding those most dear.

But today, I give you full perrmission to imagine a little in the comments. What do you want some days?

A Real Day

Posted by Patience on July 28, 2009 at 7:59 AM

I miss the alarm clock and oversleep which makes me miss the ever important uninterrupted writing time in the wee hours of the morning.
The boys wake up crazy early and want breakfast, pancakes.
I promise pancakes, after I finish writing the article that is now 2 weeks late, yes 2.
Someone "accidentally" wakes up Lyra.
I throw cereal bars in their direction, hold/nurse a squirmy baby and try to write.
It doesn't work.
I feed the baby green beans, bananas and cereal bars in her high chair while I try to write.
She eats half, throws the rest on the floor and cries.
This wakes Lucy up who always wakes up kinda grumpy.
Lucy wants pudding for breakfast.
I say no and offer her a cereal bar, much drama ensues.
I search for a diet coke desperately in need of caffeine.
Jack insists I look at the new lego catalog. He and Josiah retreat to discuss money making schemes.
Lyra cries to get out of the high chair, 4 people have now stepped in the green beans all over the floor.
Lucy is still wailing over pudding.
I offer a Martha Speaks episode in hopes of returning to writing as I am now 20 minutes from my most recent deadline.
The phone rings, a call I must take.
Josiah strategically asks for a popsicle during a vulnerable parenting moment, I cave.
Everyone has popsicles.
Jack and Lucy fight over a spot on the couch.
I search for the diet coke...it is 7:48am

Tell me you have these mornings, days, whole years? Give me your real day in the comments.

What Do I Do About Whining?

Posted by Patience on July 24, 2009 at 7:00 AM in Raising Girls

Can you almost hear the whining in the picture? I am calling all parenting experts on this one as the whining is about to do me in.

I tell her I can't quite understand her whining voice.
I model the phrase and tone, she repeats with no problem.
I occasionally ignore or I ask her to try again.
I ask her how I can help and invite her to start over.

While she responds to all of this, it doesn't seem to stop or cut down the mind numbing voice. I'm stumped.

Any ideas superpeople? Do you have any whiners at your house? Give it to me.

Four Little Mothers

Posted by Patience on July 21, 2009 at 7:00 AM in Nature

Weeks ago a tiny bird flew into our screened porch and built a nest in the pot given to me by a dear friend years ago when I moved into her neighborhood. It said "Welcome to the Fan." I couldn't get past the part that the bird was building in a place that actually welcomed her. Little things like this make me happy. She spent all day working hard, we left the back door open for her as good friends do for each other. The next week she left and we didn't see her again.

We didn't really think too much of it until one night when Jorge and the kids were helping to set the table outside for dinner on the porch. Everything causes a commotion in our house so in all the hustle of getting ready, we missed this:

Jorge saw and heard it first. "Everyone off the porch!" The mother bird was going nuts. We all quickly grapped the entire dinner off the table and headed inside. We had been banished from the porch as it was now a nursery. Everyday for the next week Jorge and the kids would check on the babies and make sure the mom hadn't left them over our looming presence the first day. Jorge called every night we were away on vacation to give us a baby bird update. Is wasn't long before they left and everyone was in shock how fast it had all gone.

"They sure grow up fast." Jackie boy said.
"Yeah, I hope they will be alright." Josiah said.

These are the conversations of mothers.

Any old bird stories at your house? I think every kid at one point or another has this experience. Do you remember?

The New Safety Queen

Posted by Patience on July 14, 2009 at 7:00 AM

I have to confess I've never been one of those worried mothers regarding safety. I generally let my kids explore with an eye on them but some distance. They haven't really been accident prone, and usually listen to me. Today though, I had a very scary moment that kind of rearranged everything in my head.

We have street parking in my little neighborhood and today I parked across the street for early morning street cleaning tomorrow. It's a very narrow street and there isn't much traffic. I crossed and turned around to wait for Jack and Lucy who were getting out on the other side. While Jack just started to tell me he didn't want to cross the street alone, Lucy darted right into the path of a car. Jorge looking on yelled, the driver slammed on her breaks just missing my little girl.

The worst part was right before I was telling Jack to wait and all would be fine. His little intuition was on, mine, the mother, was not. I just wanted to get in the house so I could cry, instead I couldn't stop shaking for the rest of the night. Lucy and I spent the next half hour practicing crossing the street together.

I'm sure it will take awhile to shake this feeling of terror in my heart . I think we'll be much more aware and careful over here. I'll take the gift of her safety, hold her tight and try not to think about what might have happened.

Have you ever had anything scary happen with your kids? Are you generally laidback or more intense when it comes to safety? Maybe somewhere in the middle? Tell us your stories in the comments.

Parenting A Difficult Child

Posted by Patience on July 10, 2009 at 2:28 PM in Raising Boys, Raising Girls

Chances are the kid that makes you the most crazy will turn out to be the president of the United States, or at least this is what I keep telling myself. Spirited children are challenging, smart, funny, strong, tender and well sometimes, hard.

Here's what I've learned so far after many mistakes and triumphs:

Everybody knows but you. Well meaning friends always know what you should do to help the struggles you have with hard kids. Sometimes they are right and have a perspective you can't see because you are so "in it." Other times, not so much. It's okay to blow off or spend less time with the expert parents, grandparents, friends every now and then.

You are tired. This is an understatement. Parenting is hard and parenting harder kids is exhausting. I would even venture to say you need more breaks and time away than the average to be the parent you want and need to be to this child. Take the time, ask even if it feels hard to, you'll be glad you did.

The world expects children to be little adults. We are only 50 years from the "children should be seen and not heard" way of thinking. Our society is often unaware of behaviour that is purely developmental. The expectations are high and we often set our kids up for failure. Read up on your kid's development, it might help.

The great push. The truth is, these kids push us to be better parents. We have to aquire skills to make it work and to meet their needs. They can teach us loads about ourselves if we hang in there and keep trying.

So the comment section is open to your thoughts on extreme parenting, vent, send us tips, tell us your stories. Or at least weigh in telling us you are in the same boat, we'll throw you a life vest.

Nature Lovin' Fools

Posted by Patience on July 7, 2009 at 7:28 AM in Connecting with kids, Nature

We've been soaking up lots of nature goodness lately. We found this little guy on a trip to the beach. Josiah quickly sketched a picture in the sand.

Yesterday we spent a good part of the day at the river, hopping rocks and swimming. The end of the week calls for picking blueberries, raspberries if we are lucky. Some of our best memories are filled with nature.

What nature are you lovin' this summer?

Happy 4th of July!

Posted by Patience on July 4, 2009 at 12:00 AM in Holidays

Happy Independence Day! Are you decorating your bikes and wagons for a neighborhood parade? Are you in the kitchen whipping up some yummy potatoe salad for a get together? Will it be a private firework show with sparklers in the backyard or are you heading out to join the masses for the big light show in your city or town?

We are headed back from a lovely beach vacation with tanned faces and rested hearts. While we endure the holiday traffic home, check out these 4th of July fun links:

Take the Knowledge of the Fourth quiz here.
How about all these amazing firework photos?
Don't miss the best place to celebrate on the fourth, you can catch A Capitol Fourth at 8pm on your local PBS station. It will be live! Did I mention the muppets from Sesame Street will be there?

Have a safe and happy day from all the Supersisters!