You ever have one of those days when you can't get anything done even though you are trying to just get one thing done? Before you know it, your children have the Costco-sized tub of animal crackers under the dining room table and you don't even care. You relieve your guilt with the memory that they are ORGANIC animal crackers and they really don't have very much sugar in them. Of course a serving size is probably 6 or 7 cookies and your kids cruised through that number at 9:45 this morning. It's now 2:50.
You remembered to offer them lunch but you didn't crack the whip when they turned a lunch option down. I too would like grilled cheese sandwiches but somehow we ran out of bread. It seems slightly INSANE to wake the baby up just to go to the store to get some bread. Corn tortillas with peanut butter and jelly for anyone that can stomach them!! At 3:30!! Of course there is nothing for dinner either but that is hours away. You really have to get these documents proofed before sending them to the printer. Four business days for proofing, seven business days for printing and you are right on the edge of the $100 rush charge.
Suddenly it's dinner time and Dad is home and I did clean the kitchen but the house looks like it was the victim of a classroom full of rookie cops on their first search warrant. I sat down beside Nate at the counter and offered him a lovely bowl of pork, rice and beans. He ate the first ten bites before he went all crazy demanding his milk. Then he refused to eat anymore.
This picture? His passive resistance. It was awesome. I wish I could fit my entire body on the top of a stool.
As a parent, do you ever to that calculation of how many bites equals enough nutrition to get your child through another day?
Some days I want to spend the entire day exploring the new interest or idea my kids woke up with that morning.
Some days I want to walk out the door to an exciting photo shoot and leave the kids with a babysitter who makes cookies with them and does messy crafts.
Some days I want to stay in bed and read without even a thought of responsibility of any kind.
Some days I want to design and make elaborate large whole cardboard box villages with my kids in the backyard.
Some days I want to retreat to my local coffee shop to write and sip tea with no one asking me to prepare a drink, snack or meal.
Some days I want to grab lunch with people in my line of work and network over gourmet loveliness.
Some days I want it all...
Mostly, I find myself trying to write early in the morning before kids wake up, running to a photo shoot hoping I didn't forget my battery and grabbing a cereal bar for lunch while I juggle this still really good life I have. Yet I wonder what it would be like to work full-time, I feel guilty for being home but not always present, I add and subtract the never ending to-do list in my head. I imagine what it all should look like.
I'm realizing it must be in our very code as parents to wonder, hope, worry that we are giving our kids everything we can so they can live the life they deserve. At the same time, trying to do the same for ourselves as individuals. Everyone around us with the same hope but doing it a million different ways. We do the best with what is before us and still sometimes long for different circumstances or dream of the greener grass next door. I'm sure it comes back to taking stock of good, the good that we have and the good we are doing by loving and holding those most dear.
But today, I give you full perrmission to imagine a little in the comments. What do you want some days?