We haven't talked about games very much since the last lesson in losing we all got. My nature as a parent is to pull back, if I'm honest, maybe even avoid such situations. My kids taught me there might be yet another option this week.

Jack and Josiah disappeared up into their room one night for hours. They were laughing and talking so I never checked in on them to see what they were up to. They bounded down the stairs very excited. They created they their own board game.

It is a fantasy style game, similar to those they have played on the computer. Each character was a kid, had a name and special powers, perfect for re-claiming your own.

The game has a complete set of rules and cards. It seems a little easier to follow rules and lose when you have ownership in the design and thought of the game.

I'm realizing that art can serve kids in a different way of process besides just the act of creating itself. This little game is a way to introduce a previously hard subject with a new and positive angle. It gives a chance to explore losing and gain strength and knowledge in knowing how to handle disappointment in game play.

Once again, I can see how kids can find their way by using their intuition and minds. Even when I'm not exactly paying attention as a parent.

What kind of role does art and creativity play in your house? Do you wish there was more? After this experience, I realized how much more I want to create a culture of art and discovery in my own home. How about you?

I recently found myself in a crisis in the back of a Land Rover in rural Tanzania. We were on a tour of the poorest of the poor--a gentle-hearted group of families suffering from malnutrition and abject poverty in a tiny drought-afflicted village. This was one of those heart-stopping moments that stays with you forever--and none of it was registering with my kids. One was reading a comic book and the other was two hundred pages into a vampire book. Neither looked up when we pulled up or left. They had something else to do. They were tired. They were bored.

I wasn't sure whether to pull the old mom card--you know, the hissing command issued in the ear that says get it together now--or else. I didn't know if i should just let them be because the situation was so intense (even for someone thirty years their senior) or launch into some self-righteous speech. In the end, I decided on something in between: a firm request to put the books down and pay attention--at least while we were on the tour.

In the end, I'm not sure if any of it made a difference.

I know it's probably naive to expect more from kids, but I was really affected by their apparent lack of interest. "I don't know what to say," one child explained later in the day without an ounce of guilt or concern. "I have my hands full with my own life. I don't have that much space to think about helping someone else."

I still haven't completely recovered from that statement. It leaves me without any words at all.

Reflecting on it now two weeks after the fact, I can see that my concern is centered around values--that set of guidelines or principles that we've chosen to give our lives direction and meaning. How is it that my kids in that instance so quickly passed over something that fully engaged my values? How is it that an experience that was rife with opportunity for a response and the most simple kind reaction seemed to strike them as no big deal? And maybe this is the most important question of all: how can we know if our children are internalizing at all our most essential values?

After this trip, I have no idea.

I want my kids to understand they have choices. And I want them to feel connected to a personal sense of power as well as the consequences their choices generate. But what happens when that understanding of power, choices and consequences leaves out caring? What happens when kids decide being compassionate is optional? Do you pass it off as just a phase? Or is it time to march everyone to Habitat for Humanity every weekend for the rest of their childhood lives?

I'm still asking myself these questions.

What matters to you when you think about who your children might become? What values do you hope they decide to carry with them into the future? What do you do when it looks like they're missing what you'd hope was an obvious invitation to what matters to you most?

photo taken after meeting with some of the poorest people in Tanzania; by Stephanie Roberts, Arusha Tanzania

Tomorrow we will be wishing a big ol' Happy 40th to our friends at Sesame Street. In the last 40 years, Sesame Street taught us to celebrate our differences, to bask in our own individuality and has continuously redefined "normal" to fit us all. Sesame Street taught us to read, to write, and yes, to count. It opened our eyes to cultures beyond our cul-de-sac and taught us global thinking. Sesame Street made us believe that we could be anything and that anything was possible. Sesame Street taught us to love music and laughter and learning.

Thanks, Sesame. We love you lots. We hope you have the best birthday ever.

I leave you my all time favorite as an adult...

Why don't you tell us what your favorite Sesame Street memory is?

Last week I watched as the good people from Epic Change installed a tech lab in an elementary school in Arusha, Tanzania. My kids, Madeleine (11) and Carter (8) got a first hand look at how social media can be more than a distraction for your homework or a way to kill time with your friends. These children discovered the pure power of the web: the ability to connect human beings all over the globe for the purpose of conversation, collaboration and yes, friendship--for the very first time. The simplicity of Twitter--something both my digital media savvy kids understand without explanation--was the tool of choice and within days kids who previously had no concept of the internet or email were tweeting with social entrepreneurs, moms, teachers and good-hearted souls from all over the world.

While it's not the easiest thing in the world to set up a tech lab halfway around the world (or take your kids to Africa, for that matter), I'm incredibly thankful for my children to get a new take on the web and social media. For all the worrying we do about our kids wasting away online, now I can offer them this constructive alternative--building old fashioned pen pal type relationships with their peers in the global south. And this is just the beginning. What happens when we decide as a global community that access and connectivity is a right and privilege worthy of all the children of the world?

Having this pipeline open changes things not just for kids but for the teachers and educators who guide them. "How can we get them interested in reading?" Mama Lucy, the founder of Shepherds Junior asked. There are a hundred answers, of course, but now she has one of the most powerful solutions at her fingertips. Light them on fire with the fluency that comes with chat. Show them how to explore the myriad of child-appropriate sites dedicated to learning how to build proficiency in language and literacy in a way that wasn't available to them before. Let them navigate a brand new world built on the craving for connection and power of the word.

Mama Lucy with good friend and founder of Epic Change, Stacey Monk

You (and your kids) can tweet with the children of Shepherd's Junior School by following along on Twitter. They're waiting for you.

It was an epic battle battle of Monopoly. Jack had been begging us to play for weeks but honestly I was dreading it. Jack had been losing at lots of games lately and it was starting to really bother him. I think he thought this might be his chance to show the world (i.e. his brother) and himself what he can really do. He's a good little negotiator and is already sporting some business sense in these early years.

Jack had built a nice little empire of properties while Josiah turned down most opportunities to purchase real estate. Josiah was being cautious, waiting for the right moment but I could tell even he was starting to get nervous. Then he landed right on the jack pot, Park Place. He had acquired Boardwalk a few turns ago in a deal with Jorge. He immediately sunk every last penny into houses and hotels. Everything was stacked, the stakes were high, he just had to wait.

"Oh, I am so sorry Mom that you have to pay me but the rent is $350, I'm so sorry." Jack said with the most sincere heart. I smiled and paid my dues while quietly hoping Jack would win. The next turn Jack rolled the dice, counted nervously and instantly buried his face into his hands, Boardwalk. He landed on Boardwalk. He knew it was over, the heartbreak was just too much. We did the math, trying to keep him alive in the game while he sobbed.

"I lost everything!" he cried. To be perfectly honest, I wasn't sure what to say. I just rubbed his back, agreed and listened. I wondered how I could have navigated this parenting moment better. The competition was too much but he wanted to try so badly. I kept thinking how hard it is sometimes to be little and have someone bigger, faster, stronger ahead of you. Being the middle child myself, I know this part of learning, growing, being shapes who you are.

Tell me what do you do in moments with your children when losing feels so big?
How do you handle games, competition, and the like? Do share in the comments.

Exchange names for gift giving. If you have presents to buy for 12 nieces and nephews, you may easily find yourself spending more than you should or buying "filler" presents to check the box. Our solution in our family is that every cousin's name goes in a hat and Madeleine picks the names out one-by-one to see who will be giving a present to whom on Christmas. With only three gifts for my family to buy now, we can better focus on finding the perfect present for each name picked and no one is worrying about their children sending their sister's family into the poor house because of gift giving.

Focus on thoughtful gifts. For years we have made photo calendars for each grandparent. Last year I was so overwhelmed with life that I didn't get to it and there was great disappointment on Christmas day. Typically photo calendars run around $20, but most photo processing websites will have specials or discounts if you purchase early or if you purchase more than one. I usually upload around 20 pictures and switch the photos around for each grandparent. That way everyone is looking at a different picture each month. Adding your own captions helps personalize the calendar. "It's your birthday this month, Nana!! Happy Birthday!!" under a picture of Junior blowing out candles on his birthday cake is sure to bring a smile to Nana's face.

Let your kids make some executive decisions. Letting your children take ownership of a gift allows them to truly experience the joy of giving themselves. For Carter's birthday this year, Ethan was determined to get him an ice cream cake. I will never forget Ethan's face when he carried that candle lit cake to Carter. Apparently Ethan has not forgotten it either because he still brings up that ice cream cake. It was his idea and he was committed to it. Because of that, Ethan had as much joy giving that cake as Carter did receiving it.

It is possible for less to be more. Teaching your children that a gift from the heart is more important than what something costs is an invaluable lesson that they will carry with them forever. You only spent $10 on that photo coffee mug, but the fact that your kids picked out that special photo because they thought Dad would like it best can mean more to Dad than a gift which costs ten times more.

These are just a few of the things we do. What things have you done to keep your heart in giving without having to dig as deep into your pockets?

We are only a day a way from candy goodwill friends! The day when dress-up and sweet collide making Halloween every kids' favorite holiday. I pulled out some Halloween pictures from over the years remembering the fun costumes we made. Shaggy and Scooby being one of my personal favorites. Don't the kids look thrilled?

The role call this year is:

1 Lego character guy
1 ninja (new costume but repeat performance)
1 frog (mid-week switch, she was going to be a princess)
1 undecided (we have no idea about Lyra's costume)

What should Lyra be? Someone on Twitter suggested Ken Burns , which is still in the running.

What are your kids dressing up as this year? Please tell us in the comments, all the last-minute-Marshas are still looking for ideas.

Forgive me if you have seen this Sid episode a million times like I have. However, since we have been tortured by The Germ for the last 48 hours, I must remind everyone to sneeze into their arm, for the love of God.

And while you are at it, get your finger out of your nose already.

On a brighter note, my pediatrician's office finally got the seasonal and H1N1 vaccines. Either which may have been more helpful for us last week but Yay! for everyone who hasn't gotten sick and can now get a shot.

Aachoo!!

We're back from Tanzania at last with more stories to tell than we ever imagined. I asked Carter what the hardest thing about the trip was for him. Hands down? "The airplane." And the best? "The people."

That sums it up for me, too.

Stay tuned--I have more stories to upload (with pictures) about what happened in Tanzania and how this kind of adventure can be pivotal in child development.

We arrived at our family doctor yesterday for a regular check-up only to find people and small children waiting outside the door. The office was so packed with sick kids, the receptionist asked me to wait in my car and she would call me when they were ready. Yowsers! I felt for all involved. The staff was patient but looked a little haggard, the parents had wrinkled brows and the kids just wanted to be held.

"It seems like winter came early this year." Our pediatrician said. With all this flu talk and sickness going around, it might be good to have a few things in our parenting back pocket for such a time.

Here are a few ideas for your trip to the doctor:

1. Keep kids busy. Put tiny journals and color pencils in your bag for the office visit wait. Bubbles, stickers and tiny plastic animals can distract a worried mind. Play thumb wars and twenty questions with older kids.

2. Turn off the TV. The news can be quite scary for kids, heck, for me too. H1N1 news is a hot topic but little ears can be spared from the latest statistic. Information can pour in even when kids don't appear to be listening.

3. Talk straight, but be positive. Let your kids know what is going to happen (depends on the age/personality about how much information), and then remind them of your presence and support.

4. Let your child have as much control as possible. Let your child ask their own questions to your care provider. Introduce them to all staff that will be caring for them. Tiny decisions like what color band-aid they want and what you should do/play after the experience can help when they are feeling so powerless.

Do you have any tips for helping kids deal with the doctor, shots or general anxiety about medical care? Let us know in the comments.

Check out Sid The Science Kid too! He has a new episode about getting shots. This is also an awesome guide to how to talk to your child about going to the doctor and dentist.

"Maybe this one will be your good eater," she said as she watched him shove fistfuls of whatever his father would put in front of him on the tray. Occasionally he would lean down and eat something off the seat that had been leftover from breakfast if his father didn't get the food into his mouth fast enough.

I laughed. You see, my two other boys were fabulous eaters. I remember when Eat turned one and he ate two scrambled eggs for breakfast every single day for a year. Even the doctor was stunned. Now he would prefer to have a nice piece of bread or a tortilla with peanut butter and jelly.

Nate never liked vegetables but he would eat pretty much everything else until he turned two. What is it with the magic "two-year-old" mark in our house? Not that it matters today, since Mason is only seven months old. I think I'll just keep dishing up that cup of Irish oatmeal for breakfast every day and live in the moment.

So did you ever have the rise and fall of healthy food with yours? Please share. And don't forget to tweet to have your chance at winning that awesome Buddy costume. Today is the last day.

Two years ago I could not have imagined a trip like this would be possible. When a friend asked me what a dream-come-true would look like for me, I had to say it had something to do with taking my children to faraway lands for experiences that would change them forever. Since that time, my life has realigned to make this dream and many more possible. All because one friend asked.

What are you dreaming for for your kids?

We had our first fire of the season last week. The kids asked for hot chocolate and marshmallows. The leaves are doing that swirly thing in the air that makes me so happy and we have a daily discussion about Halloween costumes. Fall is in full swing.

Limited finances doesn't have to mean limited family connection. Here are a few low cost ideas for your crew:

1. Acorn Families- Gather acorns or any other round or oval shape things falling from your trees and create a family. We drew faces on ours with sharpies and then hot glued them to sticks we found. It was fun to see the kids different faces and shapes of the acorn variety.

2. Pick apples and pumpkins- Go on an off day to your local produce of picking choice at the end of this harvest season. There are still a few apples and tons of pumpkins. Pack a picnic lunch and take the long way home so you can soak in the beauty of the changing leaves.

3. Turn off the lights. Start a fire or light lots of candles and turn off your lamps for the night. Tell stories and drink apple cider. Make cookies earlier in the day to share. Play charades, twenty questions or even indoor hide and seek, your kids will love the play and will barely miss being unplugged for an evening.

4. Share a meal. Invite a family over for dinner. Pick a neighbor or your child's friend and share the cooking or have a potluck. Have a lego or polly pocket dinner, put a bowl of legos on the table just like the food. Every person can take a few pieces and make something in between bites. Take a picture of each person's creation at the end of the meal. Kids love when something fun ends up in an unexpected place.

5. Go on a moonwalk. Bundle everyone up on a weekend night and take an evening stroll to look at the moon and stars. A full moon is the best but not necessary. Learn about constellations and try to find them together. Buy one pack of glow in the dark star stickers and create your own sky in your kid's bedroom when you return. Moonwalks make for great memories.

Got any other favorite family connections? Please share in the comments.

Also, I didn't do the feet because I am going to do something a little different from the pattern. I just haven't figured out what that is just yet. They have the cutest little dinosaur toes you have ever seen. The Henson pattern calls for feet with soles however. This will NEVER work for us because our Halloween involves hayrides in backs of trucks for trick-or-treating. It would take all of two seconds for Nate to put his foot right through that or for him to get any manner of the great outdoors poking his feet. I think I might make the felt feet with just the top sides and run elastic that can slip over shoes. I'll let you know.

Do you want to win the AWESOME ONE seen toward the end of this video? It's only been worn once! For your chance to win, all you have to do is tweet:

@hensonparents is giving away a Buddy costume of Dinosaur Train fame to one lucky tweeter on 10/26 at 3pm PST #buddysuit pls RT

Or there is still time to make your very own. Trust me. If I can do it, so can you...

This is the first time for many of the children at Shepherds Junior School to have any direct interaction with a child from the United States. I wonder what memories will stay with them when we leave. Will they feel like my kids are just like them? Or will they feel like their world is very much different?