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"There Are Some Things I Had to Figure Out"
by Mawuli Davis


Read the text of the letter that Hubert's brother shares in the film.

There are some things I had to figure out, painful.

Mawuli Davis

There are some things I never had to figure out, thankful.

Had to figure out how to be honest to my sons' mother,

To be a husband to their mother,

And not to try to own their mother, my wife, my woman.

To keep my hands off of my sons' mama.

To heal my past pains so that I have room to absorb my sons' pains when they come.

How to be present even when my money is not right, because he is in high school.

And there are things that he can't learn from high school buddies about women, fighting, drugs, drinking, life that I can't tell him in drive-by lectures.

But there are other things that I did not have to figure out, things you taught me well.

I never had to figure out how to get myself up every morning, and work long hours away from my family to support my family.

How to go on family trips,

How to dance around the house with my son,

How to hold my son's hand,

How to let my son know that I'm disappointed without breaking his spirit,

How to show my son how to take something apart around the house to fix it and not be able to put it back together again,

How to make my son think I'm the toughest and strongest man in the world,

How to cry in front of my son,

How to blame their mother for being late to everything,

How to love my sons in a way, that no matter what I do or not do, and no matter where they go or what they do, they'll always be able to know in their hearts that I love them.

I love them. I love them.

There are some things I had to figure out, painful.

And there are some that I never had to figure out, thankful.





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